Anne and I were on the edge of sleep for a while, but we didn’t quite manage it.

“Is there a menu somewhere,” I asked, “I want to start thinking about lunch.”

“I left it on the desk.”

None of the food looked bad, but none of it looked good either, that is until I saw injera with the typical associated meals, I decided on having goat with it.

“What are you thinking, cause I –” Anne saw what I was looking at, “Oh, that’s good, like the venison on the train, a good reminder of home.”

“Mom’s home, not mine.” We only had it once a year, on her birthday. No one grew teff out of the highlands, and with the war there, it was expensive. I was shocked that I could have it every day here, every meal if I really wanted to.

“It’s good they have it, right?”

“I don’t know, it’s kinda sad. Most of the diaspora can’t afford it, but here. It’s not even really my culture and it hurts.”

“It is, doesn’t matter you’re adopted.”

“No not that, we couldn’t afford food, almost everything we ate we grew or hunted ourselves, so I don’t know the food, and I was bilingual when I was little but we just kinda, stopped speaking it at home, I don’t remember it now, not well.”

“Still, we can buy teff for her, and you could re-learn, you will have the time.”

“Where would we get it?”

“Well, we get our fancy new dress uniforms tomorrow, meet the king, put on our fancy shields, and walk into the kitchen and ask where they buy it.”

“You are going to be terrifying, they shouldn’t be giving you that kind of social power.”

Anne laughed, “If they don’t regret it then I haven’t made good use of it.” I handed the menu to Anne. She sighed, “I think I am going to be boring, I just want a meat pie.” She put on her underwear and my shirt before buzzing for someone to come take our order. “Speaking of your mom, have you written her?” I shook my head, “You should, tell her you’re here safely, you’re getting lots of money, and that I am amazing and you are very in love with me.”

I spent a lot of time on that letter. I worked on it while waiting for lunch, and during lunch. Anne read the paper while she ate. I couldn’t figure out what to say about Anne, so I just said that I didn’t know what to say, and that my mom would have to wait to see her, and of course I told her I wasn’t hurt and would be getting a royal shield. I didn’t mention what I was having for lunch, I felt guilty about it. The large lunch and the stress of the letter exhausted me. I meant to only rest a little but I fell asleep as soon as I lay on the bed, not even managing to get under the covers.

I couldn’t remember my dreams, but they were intense, and I had an idea what they were about. I was hard when I woke up, so much so it was uncomfortable, and it didn’t help that the damn thing had dripped onto me. I groaned in frustration at the mess and to my surprise I heard Anne say a quiet sorry.

“Not your fault, it’s just annoying.” I stretched, then sat up and looked at her. She was sitting naked in a chair that she had turned to face the bed. Her legs were pressed and she was trying to keep a straight face but it was obvious what she had been doing. She had the look in her eyes, her ears were twitching, her tail wasn’t staying still, she was breathing heavily, and her fingers were still wet.

“Okay,” I laughed, “maybe it was your fault, a little quieter might help next time.”

“I thought you were a heavy sleeper.”

“You didn’t wake me, but uh,” I gestured to my crotch, where I was still unfortunately hard.

“Oh.” Anne swallowed, “but what if I liked it that you reacted, even in your sleep?”

I raised an eyebrow at her, “but you’re busy, I wouldn’t want to interrupt your alone time.”

She walked over to the bed, standing next to it, looking down at me.

“I don’t need that, not when I have you.” I sat on the bed, looking at nothing, not moving, except an embarrassing twitch in my dick as she started at it.

“Move over a little,” Anne said, so I did, away from the edge of the bed. She sat closed legged in the space I had made for her. I could see how wet she was, how beautiful it was, she was. I shuddered as she moved her hand out and gently ran a finger from the base to the tip.

“Such a good girl, getting so wet and hard for me, even in your sleep.”

I smirked at her, “nothing but the best of both for you, right?”

Anne growled at me, held my face in her hands, and gently put her forehead against my horns.

“Do you have any idea how fucking frustrating you can be?” She whispered before giving me a quick kiss on the lips.

She stood up and looked at me. “Cover yourself.”

“Anne? I didn’t mean you –”

“I know.” She found my shirt and put it on.

“I was just trying to be sexy.”

“I know.” I pulled the sheet up to cover myself and she kneeled on the far corner of the bed.

“I didn’t want to stop.” I was a little confused.

“Anne sighed, “I know, but you said no serious talks during sex.”

“I don’t care.”

“I do.”

“It’s not a –”

“I care.”

We looked at each other for a moment.

“Are we really this useless without Victoria?” I didn’t know if I was really asking, but Anne answered anyway.

“I guess.” Another moment passed. I looked at Anne, but she looked down.

“Zal, I don’t, I have never been attracted to another succubus, or thought about it. THe only demon, I mean demon who isn’t you, obviously, I thought about fucking was a devil wo was a bouncer at a bar back home, and it wasn’t because, demon-ness. I saw him fight once, he was good, calm, controlled, but terrifying, and after he changed and was so gentle with the girl they had messed with. It, um, did things for me. You’re not a fetish for me.”

“Did you?” I didn’t know why I asked that.

“No, I had a boyfriend at the time.”

“Oh, okay.” Another moment passed.

“It doesn’t matter though, if you don’t see me like that.” I wasn’t looking at Anne as I spoke. “It’s how I am. I have both. I’ve read about it, I know we’re bigger than men, we can take more than women, never mind how wet everything gets. I get it’s useful but honestly just carrying a little lube would be easier.”

“Yea you’re bigger, but it’s not like, I don’t know what average is but you can’t be more than an inch or maybe two over that, you make it sound so, pornagraphic.”

“Isn’t it? If you ask for books on succubi that is what you get. The books that aren't are usually under general demon stuff, and it is hard to find, there isn’t much.”

“That doesn’t mean –”

“I know what I look like Anne.” I dropped the sheet and stood next to the bed. I knew she was looking at me but I didn’t look at her. This was the first time in a while that I really looked at myself. I had put on a little weight, but sadly none of it went to my belly. My breasts were a little fuller, hips a little wider, my waist still too narrow. I had wanted to say something clever, I was going somewhere with this, but I couldn’t find the words.

Anne took some time to refocus. “I don’t know what you see when you look at yourself, I just see the woman I fell in love with.”

“I see a succubus.”

Anne laughed, it was tense, not genuine, “well that is what you are.”

“I know I mean, I see sex like, what else is the point of,” I gestured to my chest, “and,” I ran my hands from my waist to my hips, “and having both. I don’t even think about having a pussy, I know I need to get used to my body, but why is it there, why is it all so much, I wish I had the body of a normal woman and didn’t have to deal with this shit or the stares or any of it.”

“You know I have hips too –”

“But it suits you, you’re so beautiful.”

“And you’re not?”

“I shouldn’t be.”

Anne closed her eyes, her jaw tensed and she took a deep breath.

“Okay, okay, okay, so,” she took another breath, “I would like to say what I like about your body.”

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“You’re the one who stopped to talk.”

“I mean without you suggesting anything. I like you because it’s you.”

I sat back down on the bed. Anne moved closer to me.

“No one’s body has a point,” she said, “we just have to make the best of it. It’s, with the roleplay earlier today, and your “best of both worlds” comment, it feels like you are testing me.”

“No…” I knew I wasn’t, but why did my mind go there when I was trying to be sexy? I didn’t expect to be good at it, having never really tried, but maybe Anne was on to something. “At least not intentionally. I’ll think about it.

“Thanks.”

“So… now what?”

Anne shrugged, “Well, we are getting better at serious sex talks, neither of us are crying this time. Want to try to pick up where we left off?”

“Might as well, nothing else to do.”

Anne smiled and took my shirt off. “Thanks for listening to what I said earlier, boredom is a good reason.” She kissed me, “and I am proud of you, staying hard through that conversation, it must have felt awkward, but you’re trying to do better already,” she kissed me again, “it means so much to me.”

“Of course, and it really isn’t that hard,” Anne raised an eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes at her. “I mean, it’s not that difficult, not when I am looking at you.” I kissed her this time. We had our normal kind of sex, her in my lap, my arms around her. The familiarity of it was nice, we knew how we fit together like this, using touch instead of words to show our love for eachother. Words had proved difficult today, I didn’t want any more of them. Anne was right about not fighting my body. It was better this time, not worrying so much.

We both fell asleep after. I wasn’t sure, but I think the stress of tomorrow was getting to Anne too. When she woke up I considered talking to her about it, but I didn’t want to, and I doubted it would do any good, so I didn’t bring it up. I had what I had for lunch for supper. It was good food, and I couldn't be bothered to deal with anything different. However, Anne had a nice little surprise for me. She had asked for a razor and shaving cream which they brought up with our food. I enjoyed this little reminder of our army life together. Anne said she decided she didn’t like the idea of anyone else shaving my head, and strange as that was I didn’t say anything. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep again. I felt it happening and I didn’t want to leave Anne alone, but I couldn’t stop it. One moment I was trying to stay awake and the next it was morning.

Anne was curled up next to me when I woke up. Thankfully I was able to get up and shower without waking her. She was still asleep after I dried off and got dressed. My nerves were getting to me so I said a silent thanks to Anne, all the sleep, food, and sex, as awkward as we had been yesterday, served me well now. My muscles barely ached and for once I had more energy than I knew what to do with. Sitting and reading didn’t work so I tried pacing, but that made me more anxious, so I did some sit ups. It made sense that exercise helped, I hadn’t thought about it until now but my life kept me active, and now I wasn’t doing much at all. I wondered if that was something I would have to worry about now. Would I have to take up some weird rich person sport like tennis to keep my body from falling apart? I shook my head to get rid of the awful thought.

I was laying on the floor when Anne woke up.

Her head poked over the side of the bed, “what are you doing down there?” she asked.

I shrugged, “did some sit-ups, then just, stayed.”

She yawned, “well the bed is yours now,” she said getting up for her shower.

We had a nice lazy breakfast in bed. A part of me expected to be woken up early and dragged off somewhere, but it was nearly noon before someone knocked on our door. It was the tailor with our new uniforms. They didn’t stay, which seemed a little arrogant to me, but the uniforms fit perfectly. They were a different material from standard issue ones, making them softer, and just generally nicer. Anne looked good in her’s. I hoped we would be able to afford to get all her clothes tailored, she deserved it.

We had a brief panic as I put on my holster and quickly realized bringing a gun to meet the King was asking to get killed, but at the same time we didn’t want anyone to know we had them, and we didn’t want to leave them unsecured in the room. Thankfully after some searching we realized one of the dresser drawers had a lock, and the key was inside the drawer. We left our revolvers and holsters there. It was too small of a lock, if someone knew there were guns in there it wouldn’t stop them, but there wasn’t a better option and it likely wouldn’t matter. Honestly I think Anne and I just wanted something small to worry about, to avoid worrying about the big thing.

Marcus showed up twenty or so minutes later, with Kate and Rebecca in tow. I gave them a nod, which they returned. Anne ignored them and clung tightly to me. I didn’t know if she wanted to antagonize them, but I couldn’t resist putting my arm around her, even though I didn’t want to piss off anyone. Marcus was silent until we were in the carriage.

“We are going to a small venue, only a hundred or so will be present. The king is thankfully not big on formalities, bow when you meet him, do not swear, do not interrupt him, be respectful, follow any directions given, and remember while this is in some way a celebration of your heroism, it is not truly a celebration. The war goes on, remember that, be respectful.”

I was offended at that, like we would be the one to forget.

Marcus continued, “There will be a small reception afterwards, you are expected to mingle and have polite discussions about your experiences in the army. Avoid any gruesome details, as well as anything that would put the army, parliament, or this kingdom in a bad light. You may have one glass of wine. Do not try to have more, the staff are aware of your limit and it would be in our best interest to not cause a scene. When we get there you will have hair and make-up done, a photo will be taken. The medal ceremony itself will be simple. Walk on stage when your name is called, face the king, bow, rise when he tells you, let him pin the shield on you, and walk off.”

Marcus had dropped his kind tone, instead coming across as firm, maybe a little rude. I couldn’t help but wonder if the way Anne and I were clinging to each other had something to do with it. Maybe he thought succubi didn’t do romance, and it was a lust thing, which of course would be inappropriate. Whatever the reason I didn’t really mind, there was something honest about the way he talked to us.

The small venue turned out to be a massive ballroom. If it was back home it would have been the largest building in town. Marcus took us through the front doors and the main hall. It was simple, elegant, or at least I thought so. Some tables were set up, and there was a small stage at the far end. Marcus led us through the stage door and down a narrow dingy hallway.

When I stepped into the green room I caught my breath, there was another succubus. She was as tall as me, or close to it with her wings, without them she was a little taller than Anne. Her hair was short, which made sense, as she had so much beautiful jewelry on her horns. Any proper hairstyle would be a distraction. She had earrings on as well, and her make-up was beautiful. She was a slightly different shade of red to me, and with her black dress, and everything, she looked perfect.

“They will get you ready for your photos then,” Marcus pointed to a door, “you will go see the photographer though there. It takes longer than you think. If you need food or water you can head back out to the ballroom, someone there will be able to help.”

So that was why she looked so good. If her job was make-up it was her business to look good, to show she understood fashion and colors and what not. I hadn’t noticed but there were others waiting for us. The tailor was there, along with a human and beastfolk, I assume to help the others. The succubus smiled and waved me over. I don’t know why but I looked to Anne and waited for her to nod before I walked over to her.

“Nice to meet you,” She said in a friendly voice when I sat down at the vanity. “I’m Ezrylliil, I work in fashion and make-up, specializing in demons, obviously.”

“I’m Zalgeth, I uh, am a soldier, also obviously.”

She laughed and gods why was I so nervous.

“Relax,” she said, gently placing her hand on my shoulder, “I’m sure everything will go well, you already did the hard part. Now, what do you normally do for make-up?”

“Nothing.”

“I mean when you were on leave, or before you joined the army.”

“Sorry, still nothing, I never really…”

She smiled, “That’s okay. If you could have is there anything you like the idea of? Or what do you think of what I have on now. It is a pretty straightforward professional look.”

Why was I so uncomfortable talking to her? This should be good, my first time talking to, actually meeting, someone like me and I could only think about not being here.

“Could have? No,” I explained, “I just never wanted to, and you look good but…” The idea made my skin crawl but I obviously didn’t want to say that, especially when I didn’t know why. Thankfully Anne came to rescue me.

“I love your horns!” Anne’s voice was an instant comfort.

Ezrylliil turned to Anne and smiled, “Thank you, non-demons usually don’t feel comfortable mentioning them.”

“That’s a shame. Anyway, Zal, love,” Anne gave me a quick kiss and said to me, “mind if I borrow her for a minute.”

Ezrylliil answered, “I think I should focus –”

Anne whispered something to her and she nodded, “Okay,” she said to Anne before they walked away. I could see them in the mirror in front of me. Anne’s back was to me but I could see Ezrylliil’s face and she was frowning a little. Unfortunately she noticed I was watching in the mirror and moved her wing to cover her and Anne from me. They couldn’t have talked for more than a minute or two before Ezrylliil came back and Anne went to get her make-up dealt with. Both of them seemed happy with how their little secret conversation went.

“Here,” Ezrylliil said, writing an address on a piece of paper and handing it to me, “fourth day of each week, at around seven I have a little get-together for succubi like us whose lives are different from others of our kind. It’s nothing fancy, we just have supper together and talk. You are welcome anytime, but your girlfriend isn’t, succubi only, no offense.”

“None taken.” I suspected I was different in a lot of ways compared to a normal succubus, so I didn’t know exactly what she meant, but it didn’t matter. I was going to show up, I had to take this chance.

“Your girlfriend also explained what I should do for make-up, so don’t worry,” and with that she got to work. It was weird having someone other than Anne touch my face, but at the same time it was relaxing. To my relief when she finished and I looked in the mirror I still looked like me, just less tired.

“It might look a bit off, but that is because this is for the photos, after those are done, I will take it off and put on something normal, same style though, so don’t worry.”

I nodded, “thanks.”

“No trouble, good luck.”

I couldn’t imagine why I would need luck to have my picture taken but I soon found out. The process was unbelievably frustrating. I kept trying to explain to the photographer that I couldn't hold the positions he wanted, at least not while staying perfectly still for minutes. Eventually after arguing for far too long he let me use a rifle as a prop to rest my hands on so I could keep them still. Thankfully the group photo wasn’t so bad. The photographer, having learned his lesson, let me pick a pose I knew I could hold properly. The strange part about the photos was the fake shield. It was interesting that they would rather the picture lie, showing me with that little shield pinned to my jacket before I officially received it, instead of waiting until after the ceremony to take the picture.

After Ezrylliil re-did my make-up she left after giving me a quick hug goodbye. We hadn’t said much but I guess Anne made some sort of impression on her on my behalf. I couldn’t tell the difference between the photo make-up and the not photo-make up. I guess it was some rich person thing I didn’t understand, some detail too small to care about. We had nothing to do for a while so I sat down on a run down couch in the green room with Anne resting her head on my lap. I scratched her as she purred softly. We were almost asleep when Marcus showed up again.

“Okay listen up you four, the king is here, you have about 15 minutes before you have to be on stage. Get a drink of water, go to the bathroom, and let the tailor make sure nothing is wrinkled,” he turned to Anne and I, “get any fur off it, and keep affections to a minimum.” Anne laughed at him, her eyes still closed, head still in my lap. I didn’t stop scratching her. There was a tense silence as Marcus thought about whether or not he should say anything else, but I guess he figured, correctly, that it wasn’t worth the effort. There was a little of Anne’s fur on my pants but it was easy enough to get rid of, so I had plenty of time to stand in the hallway behind the stage, waiting nervously to meet the King. Thank the gods Anne was with me, holding my hand.