“How was it?” Anne asked as I got back to our hotel room.

“Weirdly fun. Turns out it was a professor there, Yideg Asnake, he was the one who asked for me. Wanted to scare some students, tell them how bad the trenches are.”

Anne nodded. She was sitting at the desk wearing one of her new dresses, reading a book, one of many on the desk. I had the biggest smile on my face as I pulled her up out of her chair to kiss her.

“It’s good to see you in a dress, I don’t know why.” I held her against me for a while.

“I got a job offer.” I said after letting her go, it was nice, but I wanted out of my uniform. My indifference towards it was quickly turning into dislike.

“Doing what?” Anne sounded concerned.

“I’m not enlisting. Small arms testing is all I know, classified. I would be a consultant or something.”

“How did that happen?”

“Yes so,” I was embarrassed by my ignorance of myself, but that wasn’t going to stop me, not with Anne. “I think I see things differently than humans, literally, like my eyes are different, I’m not sure with beastfolk, but I can see farther, a lot farther, enough not to need a scope when humans do.”

“I didn’t know that, I knew your eyes were better, but I didn’t know they were that much better. I can see a little better than humans in the dark, but it’s not enough to matter.”

“Well that’s how I got the job, found out at the range when I tried to use a scope, so I guess that small arms means something long range, probably just a new long rifle, and I’ll check it out before, make sure it’s safe.”

“I’m not worried about that, I know you’re careful. Do you want to though?”

I shrugged, “I liked shooting, I think I still do, hopefully it is being paid to shoot some guns and tell someone what I think about them. Can’t get much better than that, and I will make sure I don’t agree to anything that would force me to keep working for them. I’ll just quit if I don’t enjoy it.”

“Good.”

I didn’t know what to say, I had talked about what I needed to, and while I was a little curious about what books she got, presumably from a library, I was nervous. I wanted to want whatever Anne wanted and I wasn’t sure I would. Anne of course knew what I was thinking about. “We should have lunch, get your suit, then we can talk.” I nodded. “But first,” she said, looking up at me, her eyes saying that she wanted me. Her hand ran up my thigh, across my stomach, and back down my other thigh before she kissed me and grabbed my ass, pulling me up against her. She was perfect. After she was finished kissing me Anne put her hand on my pants, on my dick, keeping her hand there as I got hard.

“Good,” she said, suddenly pulling her away. I was too confused to do or say anything. Anne went to the dresser and took out a pair of my new underwear.

“I noticed you didn’t wear them today.” She was questioning me.

“I thought you would want to see if they work.”

Anne sighed, “It’s okay to be uncomfortable with this whole thing, but trust me they will help.”

Sometimes it was frustrating how well she knew me. What if I wanted to hold onto my silly fears a little longer. Not that I did, just, I don’t know why I thought that sometimes, that I found comfort in them.

“Pants off babe,” Anne said, tossing me the underwear. They were long tight boxers, the texture was nice but strange, stretchy, elastic must have been woven in with the fabric. The right leg had a wide elastic band sewn in it, and there was a pocket of some sort inside. I guess the idea was to keep it up against the inside of my leg so it wouldn’t be so visible.

“I noticed that is where you normally have it, but there are other options if it doesn’t work, or isn’t comfortable.” Once again Anne knew more about my body than I did. I never realized I was so predictable. It felt awkward taking off my pants and underwear while hard and still wearing a shirt. It got worse when I tried to put the new underwear on. At first I tried to put it on normally, or as normally as I could when hard, but then I realized I wasn’t in the pocket, so I had to slide them halfway down my leg and try to get it in before pulling them up. I heard Anne laughing, “Don’t,” I snapped, “This is bad enough already.”

“No, it's cute, funny, but also cute. I don’t get to see this side of you this much.”

I felt a little guilty, did I really not seem cute to Anne, I thought of her like that almost constantly. My current practical problems distracted me from that chain of thought before I could get any deeper into my own head.

To my surprise once I got them on and adjusted things a little they were comfortable, more so than the men’s stuff I normally wore. These actually fit my ass and hips properly. Putting my pants back on and looking in the mirror I wasn’t surprised to see Anne was right. I could tell at certain angles, but the only position that looked obscene was if I spread my legs while sitting down, as that pulled my pants tight, and, well, but easy enough to avoid. Satisfied, I started to get undressed.

“What are you doing?” Anne asked.

“Since you started this I thought you wanted to –”

“No, not now, and you have to get used to it anyway, plus it’s kinda fun for me.”

“Okay.” I really didn’t want to, but…

Anne hugged me, “You know you don’t have to, we can, or you can, deal with it.”

It took me a moment to realize I really was going to say what I was about to.

“No, I can wait, it’s good for me, but,” I looked at her, “It’s easier if we can pretend you’re making me.”

“Not far from the truth anyway.”

I laughed.

Lunch was fine. Anne sat in my lap and teased me the whole time and I let myself enjoy it since we were alone together in our room. I thought the ride to the tailor’s would give me a break but having Anne hold me, her breasts pushing into my back was still too much. Over and over in my head I told myself it was fine, the tailor was a devil, his wife a succubus, he wouldn’t care, he would understand. I was so nervous I was almost shaking when I walked into his shop but he, well he must have noticed as he had to do some adjustments, but he didn’t say anything about it. When I saw myself in the suit I stood up a little straighter. I looked good, handsome, like a professional at some not physical job, and the pants hid everything. It caught me off guard. The good feeling didn’t last, but it was nice for a while to think I really looked that good. Just before we started our ride back to the hotel Anne hugged me. “We’ve come so far,” she said sweetly. I rode slowly, so she could lean her head against my back as we made our way.

Honestly I wasn’t thinking about sex until we were almost back. Maybe it wasn’t good, but I liked how Anne and I fucked, if it was up to me I wouldn’t change anything, as boring as that was, but then it wouldn’t really be with Anne. I wanted her, including all the differences between us, those were the most important in a way. I readied myself. I would say yes, she did most of the caring in this relationship, it wasn’t right.

“How do you want to have this talk?” she asked when we were back in our room.

“Naked in bed.” It was in part because how could I not want her naked in bed after hours of teasing, but I couldn’t think of a place I felt safer than in our bed with her against me. My heart rate slowed from the relief of holding her against me. For some reason I held her breast as I spooned her, it was comforting for reasons I didn’t understand. I wanted to hold both, but my other arm was trapped under her head, the best I could do was wrap my tail around her ankle. I felt warm, in the best way, a deep warmth that moved through my body and soaked my bones when I felt her relax. I don’t know how long we lay there, but she was the one to break the silence.

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“This is hard for me.” I almost replied “I know” on impulse, but something in her voice told me it was harder for her than I thought it was, that I really didn’t know. “I know I joke about you being a repressed succubus, but I meant what I said on the train, even though I was yelling. I took your virginity. Whatever you had to do with prostitutes, it wasn’t sex, not really, and now this.”

“I can say no.”

“Would you though?”

“Probably not. I trust you.”

“It isn’t about trust. What if this is just what I want, if I’m using you?”

“There isn’t a difference between what I want and what you want.”

“Stop that romantic shit. I need to know that you won’t agree to something you don’t want. Don’t do this for me, I need you to be honest.”

“I will, but Anne, you’re not going to hurt me.”

“I already have.” She mumbled into her pillow. When? There wasn’t anything I could remember.

“I broke up with you,” that did hurt, but she did the right thing, we didn’t know any better, “and in the shower, when we weren’t together and I had to, and I kissed you –”

I wasn’t going to let this go on, “we had to, I asked you.”

“I should have told you I still loved you, that I was wrong, that we would be together no matter what.”

“Anne,” I tried to sound serious, but it came out sad. Hearing Anne talk like that, I couldn’t. “I’d forgotten honestly, because of what I am I have had so much sex I wouldn’t agree to otherwise, I don’t always have a say.” It was just life for me, if I let it bother me I would break.

“I’ve had nightmares about it.” Anne replied, softly.

“I didn’t notice.”

“Didn’t want you to, what was I supposed to say?”

“Anything, I could have told you how much I love you, how you put my heart back together, I could have held you, kissed you, rubbed your back until you went back to sleep, if you just told me.”

Silence, for a few moments.

“You really forgot, you seemed so, broken, the look on your face after haunts me.”

I forced myself to laugh a little. “I mean, I don’t think shower sex is something I want, but otherwise, I’m fine, really. It had to be done.” I took a moment before asking the obvious question.

“Is that what this is about, wanting me to do what I want to you, so you know I want it?”

“I think so, it’s not, I didn’t try to want this.”

I held her tighter, “It really messed you up didn’t it?” Anne nodded and I couldn’t tell if she was crying or not. “I love you, thank you so much for telling me. I’m here, I’m not hurt, or upset, or leaving,” not that I was worried she thought any of those things, but I had to say something, comfort her. Anne wiggled up against me, “I’m fine, it doesn’t feel great right now, but I knew I had to tell you before we got to talking about the fun stuff.”

“We can wait, if you want time to…” I wasn’t sure what she would do with the time, but it felt like the right thing to say.

“No I did the hard stuff now I get to talk about the fun stuff.” I left the obvious joke unsaid, it didn’t feel like the time for it.

“I was thinking, to start,” Anne explained, “is that in our room I don’t wear clothes and you don’t ask, you just do what you want, and the thing that makes it, um, work, for me is you don’t care about how it feels for me, or if I am doing something else, you can even wake me up. It’s the idea that I’m yours, completely, that you, I guess, control me, or the sex part, it is hard to explain why it is so hot, why I like thinking about you like that.”

“Bad sex turns you on?”

“That's what you? No, not bad, just sex focused on you, Zal first sex, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I don’t want to hurt you though, and if you don’t want me to warm you up…”

“I know you’re weird about it sometimes, but if you are turned on it should be enough for the both of us, you get pretty wet, and a little pain or discomfort is, that is kinda part of it too. My fantasies are usually not on a bed.” She wasn’t completely relaxed talking about this. I hoped it wasn’t because of me.

“And if you don’t want it?”

“I’ll say no, or tell you if it hurts too much. I know you won’t, you know my body well enough.” It was simple enough of an arrangement, and while there wasn’t much appeal in it for me it wasn’t bad or anything, and Anne wanted it. That was made clear by how she kept rubbing against my still hard cock as we talked.

“I’ll want to keep talking about it, I don’t completely understand what the appeal is for you, and I want to make sure I live up to your fantasy.” If I had that I was actually okay with it, if I could know how much she enjoyed it.

“Of course,” she replied.

With that I unceremoniously put my hand on her pussy to feel how wet she was after our little talk. I avoided her clit, I didn’t want her to think I was paying attention to how she felt. I rolled her onto her stomach and lined myself up. It was awkward without a pillow under her hips, but I managed, and against my instincts I pushed into her hard and started fucking. She gasped, but it didn’t sound bad, and she wanted me to not care so I would do my best to make it seem like I didn’t. I didn’t start fast, but I wasn’t exactly slow. I tried to be a little rough, really slamming my hips against her, my hands on her shoulders pushing her into the bed and holding her in place. I thought of all the teasing from today, how beautiful she was, how perfect, how she was mine, trying to come quickly. I even changed my pace to whatever I wanted, slowing down or speeding up, mostly speeding up, when I felt like it. To my surprise she purred a little, and after that it didn’t take me long, I pushed down harder on her shoulders as I tensed and came. It didn’t last long, and the aftershocks were short as well, a few minutes, but there was something satisfying about coming quickly after being hard for so long. Most importantly, Anne didn’t come, I was fast enough. I moved us so I was spooning her again, careful to stay inside her.

“Stay,” I said, “I want a nap.”

“Bitch.” Anne teased back at me.

“Hey, this is what you wanted.” Gods I hoped this was actually the kind of thing she wanted. It was a spur of the moment idea, and I was insecure. I wanted to get her off, it felt wrong that I hadn’t.

Obviously I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t expect to, but I could pretend and enjoy Anne moving ever so slightly on me as she played with her clit while trying not to “wake” me. I wasn’t good at acting, and Anne could read me like a book, so I found it hard to believe she thought I really fell asleep, but she was distracted. Thankfully I could feel her come around me from her own hand and I was able to enjoy it, even though it was all her. I waited a little bit before I “woke up”. Her body shook a little as I pulled out of her, and I couldn’t help but agree. It didn’t feel great, a part of me wanted to stay in her as long as I could, but that wasn’t for today. I lay on my back and told her “blowjob.” She moved quickly, which helped ease my worries a little, it felt wrong to ask like that. I closed my eyes when I felt her lick the tip ever so gently. She took her time, tasting every bit of it, before taking it into her mouth. I focused on my breathing, on how it felt, trying to focus on what Anne talked about when she first brought this up, trying to enjoy my body. There was so much happening. The softness of her lips as they moved up and down, the way she used her tongue to tease the tip, how her hand stroked in time with her mouth. When she needed to breathe she would take over with both hands and when her mouth enveloped me against it felt more intense. There was a voice in my head telling me I was taking too long but I pushed it away, I was going to come from sensations alone, I wouldn’t think of Anne. My mind started to go blank, it was getting hard to tell what she was doing, I was so sensitive, so close, and it was obvious. I was shaking a little, my hips kept jerking up erratically. One final time Anne took me in her mouth and I went over the edge. She frantically licked the tip while using both hands to stroke me. There was a moment when I felt calm before it hit my body all at once. My legs shook, I grabbed desperately at the sheets for something, I moaned, felt my back arch. I was left shaking, and for a moment I felt alone, but Anne laid down on top of me, purring a little, leaving on hand on my dick to slowly stroke me through the aftershocks. We both fell asleep for real this time.

When I woke up Anne was at the desk reading, still naked. She didn’t notice I had woken up so I stared at her for a bit. This part of our new arrangement I liked, still though, I hadn’t made her come, and that is what I wanted most. After, maybe tonight, we could talk about it, if it was what she thought it would be, maybe then I could figure out how I felt about it. For now though I got out of bed and asked,

“What are you reading?”

“Just a collection of essays my dad had. I’ve read lots but it has been a while and I wanted something familiar –”

She stopped talking for a moment when I lifted her out of the chair and sat on it myself, giving her tail a gentle tug to tell her I wanted her to sit on my lap. I was already getting hard again thanks to Anne rubbing herself against me as soon as she sat in my lap. I played with her nipples. It was surprisingly nice, relaxing in a way, for me at least, probably not so much for her.

“You were saying?” I wanted to hear her try to talk.

“Something familiar, an easy read, from the library, even though it’s massive with lots of shit I’ve never even heard of.” She sounded so cute trying to talk like nothing was happening. I wanted to kiss her, but she had her back to me.

“Anything else interesting?”

“Not really, some local history, some, one book about parliament, and I asked for books about demons that weren’t shit, you should read them, if you haven’t already.”

Wait, I could kiss her. I turned her around and did just that, first on her lips, then down her neck, then her breasts, all the way to her nipples. I didn’t care so much at this point if she felt I was focusing on her too much, I wanted to kiss her, and now after having done that I wanted to finger her. At least I could keep being a little rough. I went directly for her g-spot, pushing against it with two fingers while my thumb worked her clit. To my surprise she came almost immediately, not a big one, but the way she desperately held onto me almost had me coming with her. Despite her legs still shaking I bent her over the desk, knocking most of the books to the floor. I didn’t wait to enter her, and I didn’t start slow. It couldn’t have been more than a minute of embarrassingly frantic thrusting before I came, this time properly. I could feel it through my whole body, that wonderful tingling that took away all my aches and pain as my head emptied and I relaxed into the sensations, into Anne. I had to sit down for the aftershocks, and Anne again used her hand to help me ride them out. I didn’t even have to ask. This third fuck was better. I still didn’t want to give up what we normally did, but I could learn to really enjoy this, hopefully.