The dress uniform was brand new, and a slightly different design than the one I got when I enlisted. The colors were muted, a dull green making up most of it with some black accents. The extra buttons and pockets were gone, the end result was almost not military in appearance, looking almost like normal dress pants, shirt, and jacket. I wondered how much of the design choice was to save money and how much was to make soldiers seem more like civilians. It was nice though. Clean clothes were rare, never mind new, and on top of it they seemed actually made for women, not just men’s with some quick adjustments from a tailor. I got excited when I saw the pants had an actual tail hole. In the trenches I kept it up against my back, under my shirt, and it wasn’t comfortable. My joy was short-lived though. The tail hole was for beastfolk. It wasn’t adjustable. I had to squeeze the arrowhead tip of my tail through, and the hole was too big for the rest. Looking in the mirror I could see a bit of my underwear through it. Not enough to be an issue, especially as a succubus, just another thing that wasn’t for me. The shirt had a split in the back so it could be tucked in around a tail, but the jacket was heavy and had no split. Beastfolk’s tails hung down when relaxed, and generally stayed there, but mine went up when I didn’t pay attention to it. I took a week of beatings in basic for not being able to keep it down. I told the drill officer and then the military police on the first day but they took their time correcting their mistake. I had been able to get a tail slit cut in the jacket of my old dress uniform but this was new, and I didn’t want to offend the general, and, looking around, I didn’t have anything to cut it with anyway. I tried a few steps with the uniform, focusing on keeping my tail down, but it flicked up from the pain in each step. Nothing to be done then, I would just try to face the general and hope he didn’t notice. Wasn’t comfortable at all though having the jacket resting on my tail. I shivered from the wave of cold air that hit me when I left the bathroom. A butler or servant of some kind, based on their uniform, waved me over. Before opening the door they stood besides they said, quietly,

“They are waiting for you.”

The General, Rebecca, Kate, and Anne were sitting at a large table drinking tea. General Karter sat at the head of the table, and my friends arranged themselves so the empty chair for me was next to Rebecca and across from Kate. Clever of them, Rebecca’s large stature would let me hide a bit from the General and I was as far away from Anne as could be managed.

“Private Zalgeth Paratonnae welcome, I hope the uniform fits.”

The general spoke loud, and overly cheerful, like this was some fun breakfast party.

“It fits well.” I lied.

He eyed me suspiciously as I made my way to my seat.

“Are you hurt?”

“No sir, well, not exactly. I will recover.”

“What is it then?”

“In the trenches, or any period of great stress, I get something that seems like human’s adrenaline, but less intense, longer lasting. It keeps me going, but when the danger passes I am often incapacitated. I am fine in a day or so usually, a week at most. A normal part of army life for me.”

“That is good then!” The General smiled too wide for my taste. He pulled a small bell out of his pocket and rang it. Some servant’s brought plates of food. Bacon, ham, meat pies, chicken, eggs, and fruit. I had never seen so much meat. I wanted to ask for bread and water but did not want to offend.

“It is disgraceful, you know,” the General said while filling his plate. “How little we know of demons. It isn’t right that you take such a greater risk serving your country. The law against dissection of demons has been an enemy of mine for many years now. If you were shot through the gut no surgeon would know what was hit, what might need to be repaired, if you might be septic, it isn’t right. Not when humans and even beastfolk receive proper care.”

“I appreciate your concern sir.” I lied again.

“And you brought the artillery down on yourself, such self sacrifice for a nation that does not serve you as well as it could.”

I guess they had been talking about me before I got here.

“It is my honor to serve.” I didn’t want to talk politics.

“A model private.” He replied, smiling at me. We ate for a bit. My friends and I were starving and we didn’t know when we would get food like this again so we ate all we could. The general on the other hand took his time, having no desire to interrupt our meal with talk. I knew it was risky, but something was bothering me and I had to ask.

“Sir, why did you bring up the dissection laws?”

“You don’t have to of course, you all have given enough, but you will be given royal shields for your actions yesterday. It is faster than normal, but the war drags on and I have allies who are helping speed things along. With that comes opportunities. Parliament has some spots reserved in universities and in the Royal Military Academy, they are yours if you want them.”

“I am not sure politics is for us.” Rebecca said.

“Long term you can, of course, take the pension from your shields and live whatever life you want. In the short term you will have political duties. Parliament is interested in you, the speaker of the house in particular, and while you don’t have to turn into ranting parliamentarians handing out pamphlets on the street corner, the royalists will not appreciate you. Best to cozy up to parliament for a year or so, and then you will be forgotten, and can disappear. I will say, politics isn’t so bad, and I am excited to give you an introduction to it. I sent a telegraph and had my personal car hooked up to the next train. A carriage will take you to the station in Gannaburg, then a week or so on the train to Marticourt where you can stay in Parliament's hotel. The royal shield ceremony will be grand and you will be able to talk honestly about the hardships of the trenches. It always makes the rich give more to the army. It is a good life, and a better way to make a difference.”

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

A royal shield was above what I thought I would get, but the prospect of getting out of the army forever, and warm beds, good food, a dream come true. The General continued,

“I am sorry I can’t stay, but I suspect you don’t want to talk about your experiences in the trenches yet, and you will be sick of talking soon anyway. Oh and Miss Zalgeth, I have requested a prostitute for the train, from a reputable establishment, I hope she is to your standard.”

“Thank you sir, I trust your judgment.” I lied for a third time. The general left quickly, and I was left with the trickiest bigotry I had heard in a while. Calling me miss instead of private, and no last name, improper at best, and asking if a prostitute would be up to my standards when I suspect he thinks succubi have no standard, and assuming I liked women. I did like women, only women, but straight succubi are not that rare, unlikely he had never heard of them, so another insult? I couldn’t make sense of it. We took our time eating. Anne and I were not in the mood for talk, for obvious reasons, and Kate and Rebecca were not the most talkative couple in the best of circumstances, so we just ate. Thankfully there were no servants in the dining room so I was able to take my jacket off and use a knife to cut the stitching that held the back together to make a decent looking tail slit. I put it on and stood up, waving my tail around a bit, happy with work.

“To the carriage I guess?” Kate asked as we were all leaning back in our chairs, so full we had to loosen our belts.

“Why not love.” Rebecca replied, walking over to Kate and giving her a quick kiss before helping her up.

The carriage was as expected, the dull gray box of military carriages, with a bored looking carriage driver dressed in a similarly gray uniform. Unexpected were the four revolvers inside. A note in the General’s handwriting saying “a gift” on each of them. Revolvers were expensive, new, and beyond what we expected. More surprising were the holsters. Fine weapons like revolvers were usually kept on the hip, as open as possible to show them off. For the military in particular standard practice was to keep weapons visible. These holsters were underarm, easily hidden under the jackets of our dress uniforms.

“Is he that afraid of royalists?” Rebecca asked no one in particular once we were inside the carriage with the doors closed, slowly making our way to Gannaburg.

“Or is it bait, did you hear the digs at Zalgeth, what was that?” Anne added.

“I can’t think of anything in the dress code about it, privates aren’t supposed to have pistols, but we aren’t not allowed.” Kate said. I had put on my holster and started loading mine so I figured I should explain.

“Does it matter? Who, besides General Karter, will know we have them if we don’t need them, and if we do end up needing them, well, better to have them.”

They stared at me. I had kept a pistol on me since I was 12, a small single shot thing from my mom, for safety, so I wasn’t as bothered by the idea. I was also the only one of them who had killed someone in cold blood. I was right though, and they loaded their pistols and holstered them as well. Despite the bumpy dirt road and the minimal suspension on the carriage I fell asleep.

“Wake up, sleepy girl.” Rebecca said, gently slapping my face. I groaned and swatted at her before I properly woke up.With all the food and a nap I could walk well enough, but I grew up in a small town and the city was overwhelming. The noise, smells, all the people, it was overwhelming. Rebecca had to help me through the crowd around and in the train station, using her height and uniform to push her way through. Anne went to get our tickets, or figure out whatever was used for private cars, while the rest of us found a bench. It wasn’t empty but the people sitting on it kindly gave it up for soldiers. I thanked them, assuming it was my obvious pain that convinced them, and went back to sleep leaning up against Rebecca.

The train’s whistle woke me up. I panicked for a moment thinking I missed it, but I was in a bed, in a room with awful red and gold wallpaper.

“Hi sleepy, we didn’t want to wake you so I carried you to the car. Hope I did it right, no new pains?” Rebecca asked as she sat in a chair at a desk next to the bed.

“No, little embarrassed being carried through the station, but yea, thanks.”

“Good” She smiled her normal understated smile at me. I sat up but quickly fell back onto the bed as the train lurched forward. Rebecca didn’t react. I collected myself and stood up, the sleep having helped, and there were rails all along the walls. Shame that was only a thing in train cars.

“I better join Anne and Kate, I don’t need them talking about me.”

Rebecca laughed a little. “That might not stop them.”

“Can’t you distract your wife.”

“We don’t want to leave you alone with Anne.”

“Ah.”

I figured as much, and it wasn’t that I didn’t trust them, but something about them knowing how I struggled bothered me. Anne knowing was bad, it was worse with Rebecca and Kate. They were married, in love, now with pensions they could do whatever they wanted, adopt a kid and start a family, find their dream jobs, or just not work. I by contrast had no idea what I wanted and had so often struggled to walk, wake up, to stay focused through the pain, such simple things. I didn’t know what to look forward to and I felt a deep embarrassment about it. At least in the short term life was good. The bed was massive and wonderfully soft, and as much as I would be a good friend and offer it to them I knew they would insist I get it. Stepping out of the bedroom there was a bathroom with a small shower directly across. The main area of the private car had the same awful gold and red wallpaper, but poor tastes aside it was lovely. There was a small bar, some couches, and a couple of tables. There was even decent soundproofing, the sound of the train was present, but quiet, nothing like the ones we were used to. Looking out the back of the car I could see we were the last one in the train. That must have helped with the noise too. I watched the city pass by from the back of the train for a bit. There was something nice about seeing it like this, less overwhelming.

I used the hand rails along the wall to make my way to a couch and sat down. Anne and Kate were staring at me, having stopped talking when I left the bedroom. Rebecca sat next to Kate, putting her arm around her.

“I’m fine, better with the sleep.” I said, trying to preempt their questions.

“You should still be sleeping, you’ve had a hard couple of days.” Anne said sternly.

“She’ll be fine, we have a week on this train with nothing to do, and we’ve all had a hard couple days.”

I appreciated Rebecca defending me, though Anne kept pushing the issue.

“Her body takes it harder than ours, and since she stopped with me she’s – “

“Anne.” Rebecca snapped, cutting her off. I felt like I wasn’t there. Clearly being around them was a mistake.

“I am going back to bed.” I said to no one. “Any objections with me having the bed, for the first few days at least.” I had to check with them, even though I knew the answer. They all shook their heads. I tried to fall asleep but couldn’t, so I pulled the curtain from the window and watched the city go by. I was disappointed when we started passing through farmlands, far less interesting to look at. A knock on the bedroom door pulled me out of my trance.