I found out the hard way that the trumpeter was not someone the General managed to find for us, but a regular part of the camp. The morning fanfare would have been cheerful but I was exhausted and hungover so it just made me mad. During the night Anne had curled up against me. We looked at eachother and I just had to ask her,

“Want to kill that trumpeter with me?”

“Yes, but first, where will we put the body? There isn’t a convenient rat-filled trench like last time.”

The panic came back. Not as strong as right after I murdered her, but enough to scare me. I knew what I did, that wasn’t the issue, but such an open reference to it. What if someone heard, or guessed. My life was in their hands, if anyone said anything I would be killed.

Anne had enough sense to notice my panic, and she gently put her hand on my chest.

“Sorry” she whispered to me. “You did the right thing, I won’t bring it up again.”

I was going to apologize to her, but then I saw the burn on her hand. I grabbed it and pulled it towards my face to get a closer look.

“You should get this checked out.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Could get infected.”

Kate had overheard and walked over to take a look herself.

“I’m with Anne, it’s fine, not worth the bandage. You worry too much, infections aren’t that easy to get, and they aren't gonna send us back to the front.”

I didn’t like being wrong, and I didn’t like losing arguments, but I couldn’t get infections so I didn’t really know how it worked, just the first aid the army taught me. On top of that my hangover wasn’t helping my normally argumentative nature. I drank, but getting black out drunk was new to me and I was paying for it today. I had another problem, one more familiar, one I had pushed my luck with ever since started my service. I didn’t know if I had adrenaline, but I at least had something like it. I could keep going on march or in the trenches. My normal aches and pains would get worse, but never overwhelming, never enough that my body wouldn’t listen to me. It was after that I risked my body giving out.

I couldn’t stand. I tried, but my arms and legs barely listened to me and if I did get them in position to put some weight on them they gave out.

“Hurt? Hungover?” Kate asked me.

“Succubus things.” Anne answered for me.

“Fuck off both of you.” I snapped at them. Rationally, I knew I shouldn’t be mad, but Kate standing over me, Anne sitting up next to me, while I was stuck laying on my back in agony, I felt small, and I hated it. I took a few moments to catch my breath.

“Enough of this shit, help me up, I can limp somewhere just give me a shoulder to lean on.”

Kate helped Anne get me up and left me leaning against Anne’s shoulder as she went to wake her wife up.

We made our way towards the middle of camp. We figured someone would tell us what to do. We were in the army, wandering around waiting for orders was most of our job anyway. Anne was worried about me. She must have put it together that it had been over two weeks, longer than I should have waited. I didn’t want to risk offending the general by trying to find a prostitute when he might be expecting us. Anne didn’t like it but she was outvoted. The General was going to keep us alive, keep suspicions off us, we needed him to like us.

A few people from our unit recognized us and gave their thanks. I was too proud of saving them to be embarrassed that I couldn’t stand on my own. Most of our unit didn’t recognize us though, they just heard from some runner to retreat, not knowing about the treason or the single gatling gun that covered them. While we were chatting a girl in dress uniform on horseback approached us.

“I am General Karter’s squire. He asked me to bring you to his headquarters, a farmhouse a few miles back.” The others of our unit we had been talking to saluted, we didn’t bother.

“Fuck, I can’t make it miles.” I wasn’t so proud as to recognize the impossible. The squire seemed to not notice, or not care, that I was being supported by Anne and clearly in pain.

“It is not that far demon.” The squire replied. She didn’t sound mad, but she did manage to say demon in such a way that it sounded like a slur. Noble brat.

“You have a horse, and you didn’t save a unit yesterday.”

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

The squire looked at me confused. I couldn’t tell if she genuinely couldn’t figure out what I was asking, but I was in too much pain to put up with her bullshit.

“Let me ride your horse there or we won’t make it before noon.”

Thankfully she had enough sense to let me. I felt bad giving the horse lice, but it was clearly well taken care of and would be rid of the parasites quickly. Anne easily lifted me into the saddle even though I was a foot taller than her. The squire looked a little afraid and I laughed at her. She probably heard lies about the terrifying strength of beastfolk and not the truth of how light succubi are.

The farmhouse was beautiful, seemingly untouched by war.

“Bathroom is on the main floor, the door at the end of the hallway to your right when you walk in. Throw your clothes out the window. They will be burned and new dress uniforms will be provided. There is lice soap, use it properly. It would be bad if you were to spread them to the house.” The squire explained, not even looking at us.

Anne lifted me off the horse and helped me to the bathroom. Thankfully it was meant for servants, fully tiled floor, three showers, a small room inside with a toilet and a small sink, and a large sink by the showers, and it smelled clean.

I didn’t want to need help. I enlisted ‘cause I was tired of being afraid, tired of not being able to defend myself, and I needed a pension. I knew it was naive, but I did it anyway. I should feel better, when it came down to it I knew now I could pull the trigger. I defended myself. I killed someone who would have gotten me killed. I saved myself, my friends, and hundreds of others. I saved Anne. All that and I still ended up sitting on the bathroom floor under a shower. I still couldn’t wash myself, Anne had to. The lice soap burned but it was a nice kind of burn, especially knowing I would be rid of the damn things. I was happy I kept my head shaved, it made the process easier. I can’t imagine how much worse it was for Anne and Rebecca with their fur. Anne certainly seemed to have to work harder cleaning herself than she did me. She really had to scrub the soap into her fur to make sure it would get all of them. It wasn’t quite like hair, her fur, it was softer, thicker, but lighter, fluffier. Her cat ears looked cute when she showered, folded flat to keep water out. Even when she got some soap in her eye and started swearing she was beautiful. I wanted to run my hands through her fur again, to feel her tail wrap around mine, to feel her lips against mine. I wanted to fall in love with her, but I couldn’t. I hadn’t done anything sexual with Anne for months. I had fallen for her, she made being with me seem normal. Every time I needed sex, even if it was awkward, she helped, never made me feel bad about it, never treated me like I was forcing her, or guilting her, never treated me like a predator, and didn’t let others say that shit about me. Before her, every time I needed it I paid someone. How could I not fall for her when she was the first person who chose me. On leave a couple months ago I spent the whole day with her. I remember she was wearing a dress and makeup, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off her. She hid how feminine she was on duty, and I could feel how happy she was dropping the act. The day felt so normal, like we were at peace, like it was a normal weekend day lovers could have together, so that night, as we were walking back to the barracks, I asked what she wanted to do after the army. She told me she wanted a husband, so she could have her own children, and a legal marriage, a legal family. I can’t blame her. Both for wanting that and not telling me. I was heartbroken but thinking back we really did just fuck and talk a little. There was nothing to suggest that there was anything more between us. Succubi aren’t supposed to fall in love anyway, we need sex so it shouldn’t mean anything to us. After that night I stopped asking for her help, even turned her down. She figured it out and tried to apologize, but I didn’t let her. We didn’t talk about it and just let the friendship be. I had that at least. I couldn’t think anything bad about her, it wasn’t her. After all that I still needed her. I hated being a succubus. I hated being weaker than humans. I hated being so light. I hated needing sex. I hated always being in some sort of pain. I hated having a worthless dick that couldn’t get anyone pregnant. I hated everything that made me need her now, and everything that kept her from loving me. I wanted to love Anne, but we couldn’t even adopt, it was me or family, and I knew her choice. I would make the same one if I could.

Kate and Rebecca left. They knew I had to do something with Anne, I wasn’t gonna be able to stand without it, and they knew I didn’t want to have to ask them to leave. Anne sat down in front of me, joining me in my sad little puddle on the floor under the shower. At least the water was still warm.

“We don’t have to, I could find someone, there are always brothels close to camps, you could wait, maybe the general has a carriage that could take you there.” Anne was too kind. I wanted to hate her soft voice, hate her for being here for me, but I couldn’t.

“It hurts, and I don’t want it to anymore, I don’t care about anything else right now.”

Anne nodded and asked “Can I kiss you?”

“No, sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry for boundaries, this is fun for me either way, but I know it isn’t a situation you want; that it is two bad choices.”

She leaned in and hugged me. I felt the familiar tingle of arousal and relief as our breasts were pushed together. My legs started to shake as she reached down and gently put her hand around my cock and whispered into my ear.

“If it is too much or too little let me know.”

She played with the point of my ear, resting her head on my shoulder, gently stroking my cock with her other hand. It felt too good for her to touch me again. She knew me too well. Her thumb softly rubbed the head of my dick while the rest of her fingers stroked it. I wanted to hold her like I used to, to kiss her. I tried to focus on myself, on how good it felt, but it wasn’t enough. My legs hurt from shaking and I couldn’t catch my breath. I didn’t want to be like this, not now, not with her.I just wanted this over, I wasn’t thinking clearly, but I knew how to end it quickly.

“Anne,” I took a deep breath, “kiss me.”

She did, it was quick, mouth closed, but it was all I needed. I came and she pulled her hand away. She needed it to keep me upright. Warmth spread through my whole body as my core tensed and I felt all my aches and pains float away for a moment, but I couldn’t enjoy it. I was pathetic. So much cum, all of it worthless. Why did my body even bother making the stuff. I let my dick get soft. I could keep it hard at will mostly, but it wasn’t worth the effort, not when I wasn’t enjoying this. Anne started to talk but I just shook my head and pointed to the door, so she left. I could see how sad she was seeing me like this, but I had about ten minutes of aftershocks to sit through, my soft dick leaking so I couldn’t get dressed or dry off, it would just have made a mess of things like it always did. At least I could stand and walk, though it wasn’t enough to stop the pain. As the aftershocks got farther apart the pain got worse.It was bad, real bad, and I was so frustrated. It was enough to make me cry, deeply, in a way I only could when I was alone.