I sat up stretched.
“Sorry Anne, I wish I could sleep, cuddle more, but I don’t want to spend the whole day in bed.”
“Even a bed with me in it?”
“I would rather we actually do things. I’m looking forward to spending some time with you off this damn train, even if it is just for a little while.”
She sat up too, “I see your point, already kinda sick of this place.”
“Before we get up though, we should talk about Victoria, about what she knows.”
“I’m sorry, I noticed too, shouldn’t have implied anything during my outburst.”
“That is why we are together now, so you can’t be sorry for it, but, do we say anything to Victoria?”
“I trust her, but that doesn’t answer the question.”
“If we don’t say anything more, what would she say, that you said something while yelling that implied something maybe happened that is different from our official story. Not much to go on, but if we say something now she’ll know for sure.”
“And it would mean she would have something to hide, where if we don’t bring it up she can’t really tell anyone anything incriminating.”
“And she outed the General pretty quickly.”
Anne nodded, “So we agree then, say nothing. What about if we run into Kate and Rebecca?”
“Say nothing? They hurt you more, and Victoria, however you want me to deal with them is how I‘ll deal with them.”
“I like the say nothing, if they approach us just, get them away, but politely.” Anne started to get out of bed, “and we should change the bedding. I guess we need to decide how we feel about her sleeping in the bed with us, now that we are together again.”
“I don’t care, but, I have been, um, with her.”
“Doesn’t bother me, and I don’t want you on the couch with your pain, and I don’t want to, maybe can’t, sleep alone, and I like her. I can’t force her on the couch, whatever she wants I want.”
“This is going to be a boring relationship if we don’t find something to fight over.”
Anne laughed, “I’ll keep my eye out for something.”
I felt better. It was nice being able to pick up my uniform off the floor. Something about not being able to do the little things bothered me more than anything else.
“Wow you two look terrible, you need to start folding your clothes and not just throwing them on the floor.” Victoria said to us when we left the bedroom.
“I don’t know, seems like a lot, asking me to take care of myself and my clothes.” I replied with a little sarcasm.
“Speaking of taking care of yourself, we should have lunch here, and then we can find a coffee house at the next stop, get some newspapers or whatever, and,” Victoria took a breath “here is my work address and my home address, with my real name.” She handed me a page which she must have torn out of her notebook.
“Oh, which name should we use?” Anne asked.
Victoria shrugged, “I had to choose a fake name for safety, and with hiding my accent Victoria seemed like a good respectable coastal name, so it is an act. I am Safia, but I try to keep it secret for obvious reasons, so maybe stick with Victoria. Not that I expect anyone on the train to gossip, but this still all feels like work, this place…”
“I understand.” I did, I knew better than most. I hung out with prostitutes all the time when I was younger, no one else treated me normally, and they all had their fair share of horror stories. They were happy to have me around, and I walked them home frequently. Even though succubi aren’t known as threatening I was tall, always armed, and demonic, so I could help set the right tone i f needed. It only happened once, he was drunk, and all it took was taking my musket off my back for him to leave.
“Can we have lunch here?” Anne asked, “I don’t want to risk running into those two.”
“I can get something, if Victoria comes with me or tells me where to go. It would be nice to have a simple meal.”
“They have pies.”
Victoria and I got four meat pies, two for me of course, and made it back to our private car without running into Kate or Rebecca. I managed to eat one and half before the train stopped.
Anne was fussing with my uniform trying to smooth out as many wrinkles as possible while we waited to be let off the train. Once we were Victoria took the lead and got directions from a friendly cab driver, though she did tip him so the friendliness made sense.
“So,” Victoria explained, “coffee houses are pretty much the only place you will find royalists, parliamentarians, and populists talking, though it isn’t always exactly friendly and the royalists tend to be outnumbered.”
I had never met a populist, at least not knowingly, and while I knew the terrorist image they were painted with probably wasn’t true I was nervous. I felt no need to risk guilt by association, especially now.
“Is it safe?” I asked.
“Yea, I hang out in a couple of different ones back in Gannaburg. The populists are of the educated type. They might imply violence is necessary but they don’t do anything illegal, and they know how to only imply when they need to avoid saying something.”
Anne held my hand, “There is nothing to be worried about. Parliament considers the coffee houses theirs, and with us being together now it wouldn’t hurt to know some populists, even parliamentarians might not be happy with our relationship. It all depends.”
“Populism isn’t exactly legal though, how do they talk around it?” I asked for clarification.
Anne shrugged, “Not exactly illegal though, as long as they don’t say they want to depose the king or harm any royal it’s fine. I’ve talked politics at countless family dinners and populist points come up, it really isn’t a big deal.”
As I was clearly the least political I trusted Anne knew the truth of it. A lifetime of staying out of politics and here I was, about to be neck deep in it anyway.
“Did you read the paper regularly?” I asked Anne.
“Most days, but didn’t bother to keep up with it in the army, too much effort.”
“I’m surprised the army didn’t want you keeping up with things.” Victoria added.
I laughed, “We often didn’t even know where we were. We were never given a map.”
Victoria frowned at that, I shrugged.
It was good that Victoria got directions as the coffee house had no sign or anything at all to show it was a business. The windows were painted over so no one could see inside. I thanked the gods that Anne and Victoria were so comfortable with this or I would have been afraid. Inside was warm, not just the temperature, but the atmosphere. It was dimly lit, but not in a way that made it hard to see. All I could smell was coffee, ink, and smoke, both tobacco and weed. There were men and women sitting at various tables, it was busy, but not crowded. We attracted a few stares, but it wasn’t too bad, I had experienced worse.
“We are looking for newspapers, articles, whatever you have on the battle of the Rosberg Sea and the political impacts it’s having.” Victoria said to the cashier.
“Of course,” they replied, pulling out a stack of papers already bundled together.”
“That was fast.” I said, surprised.
“It’s a popular request ma’am, so we pre-bundle a bunch every morning.”
The ma’am worried me for half a second until I remembered I was among civilians, here my uniform made me stand out rather than blend in, and they probably couldn’t tell the difference between a private’s dress uniform and an officer’s.
“Well, what brings two of our fine soldiers to this humble place!” A man sitting at one of the larger tables called out, “we would be curious to hear how the war goes, if you don’t mind.”
There were four men at the table with him. All of them were somewhat young and fashionable, with one of them standing out as he was clearly gay. Anne put her hand on my shoulder and gently pulled down. I bent so she could whisper in my ear.
“It would be good practice for you.”
I shrugged but she raised an eyebrow at me which I took to mean I should have a reason beyond annoyance to not take this opportunity. I looked at Victoria.
“It was a quick walk, we have some time.”
And with that we sat at the table.
“We were just picking up papers and whatnot we can on the battle of Rosberg,” I explained, “and as for the war, can’t tell you shit, I mean much, sorry. They don’t tell us anything.”
The man laughed, “I am not offended by swearing, at least not from you. I can tell by your accent you must be unfamiliar with city life. Don’t worry, this place is for everyone. My name is Doctor Samuel, doctor of history, by the way, not of medicine. From left to right are Mr. Doyle, Mr. Rees, Mr. Davies, and Mr. Baker. We all work at the university in one capacity or another and come here to relax and discuss things.” I didn’t do it intentionally, but the only one of them I acknowledged with a slight nod was Mr. Rees, the gay one.
“I am private Zalgeth, on my left is private Anne, to my right, Victoria.”
“Privates? That would explain why you wouldn’t know the general state of the war. But how goes it in your little part of the front?” Dr. Samuel asked.
“Rats, lice, mud. People die and countless shells spent for a few yards that don’t really matter. That is how it always goes.”
It was unnerving how unphased Dr. Samuel was in his response. “A tragedy, shame that parliament's army does not have a better war to fight, but it must be fought. We have to reclaim the highlands.”
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“If there is anything left to take. If it keeps going yard by yard there will be nothing but mud.”
“Mud can be reclaimed.”
I shook my head and Mr. Rees laughed.
“I’ve told you dear doctor, no man’s land isn’t just mud,” Mr. Rees explained, “it is bodies, unexploded shells, chunks of metal, poisons, disease, none of it is easily reclaimed.”
Anne spoke up, “It is death, more than a dead body, it is land made into a place to die. You can not imagine how awful it is without seeing it.”
“Is our cavalry so useless?” The Doctor asked. Anne and I laughed a little.
“What cavalry?” I said, “it is trenches, and where there are no trenches it is mountain passes. There is nowhere to flank, to outmaneuver. All the horses are pulling artillery now.”
The Doctor was still unphased, though he put on a slightly disappointed affect, “I am sorry to hear such is the way of things, and that it seems unavoidable. Though I would also like to know how the women’s units are doing. There are some who worry how women might fare, especially now that it is somewhat frequent for them to be on the front lines, nevermind the awful rumors.”
“Women are on average weaker, and it would be safer if our enemies saw no reason to see women as anything other than civilians. The fewer war touches the better.” Mr. Davies added.
I knew we were pawns in whatever arguments these five normally had, but it was nice to have confirmation. I looked at Anne. I didn’t know if they considered me a woman so I wanted Anne to answer. A quick glance at me was all it took for Anne to understand.
“Women tend to have an easier time in the trenches. There isn’t really any fighting to do, it is more about surviving. Being shorter is better, less likely to get hit by snipers, and there is never enough food and women can get by on less. Artillery decides the battle, not anything the infantry does. As for the rumors, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I would be careful Dr. Samuel,” Mr. Rees said in an almost mocking tone, “wouldn’t want to upset the constitution of a clearly upstanding, if not a little naive, woman like Anne.”
I was confused about his tone and his insults until the Doctor spoke. He sounded genuinely concerned for Anne.
“Sadly many doubt the good intentions of the women who choose to enlist. They say many are the type who have no interest in finding a husband, or interest in men in general. It is clearly untrue, as evidenced by the army inspiring a succubus to enlist instead of choosing her more natural, less honorable, profession.”
Mr. Rees was trying to hold back his laughter so I didn’t laugh at the Doctor or correct him, curious to see how far he would be able to take this.
“Poor little Anne,” Mr. Rees said, “such a clearly innocent woman having to hear such scandalous words.”
The Doctor mistook Anne covering her mouth to hide her smile as discomfort.
“I am sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. I only meant to warn you of the –”
Anne leaned against me as she laughed and I put my arm around her possessively. Mr. Rees laughed openly at the Doctor.
“Oh my dearest doctor you are my favorite to toy with.”
“So I have made some new error you consider grave. What is it this time?” The Doctor said, indignant. Mr Rees looked at Anne, to give her the chance to correct Dr. Samuel, a chance which Anne took.
“I would be surprised if there are more than two, maybe three, straight women in our unit, I certainly am not.” Anne ran her hand down my chest to make her point, “and Zalgeth finds men disgusting so I wouldn’t say, or in your case imply, that prostitution is her natural profession.”
“Nonsense,” the Doctor replied, “Succubi are bi, for one to be disgusted by men is absurd, none I know have said such a thing is possible.”
Mr. Rees laughed at him again. “You have to stop telling on yourself doctor dearest. They all say that because you pay them and they know men find it sexy.”
“What are you implying, I am married.”
“That has never stopped men from propositioning me,” I said, “and Iike you they believed I must be interested in men, it usually took my pistol to convince them I was gay.”
Mr. Rees nodded in agreement. “Understand Doctor it is dangerous for succubi to go against the narrative, like how devils claim to be asexual when I can personally attest that there are many who very much are not.”
Dr. Samuel shook his head, “I don’t need to be reminded of the unnecessary details you shared Mr. Rees. I honestly don’t know why you act like this, you will never convince anyone to join the populist cause with this disrespectful behavior.”
Mr. Rees smiled, “I am not trying to convince you, I am trying to embarrass you into populism.” The Doctor shook his head, acting disappointed, and Mr. Rees continued, “Now I need some fresh air, would you three care to join me? Mr. Doyle and Mr. Baker have yet to say anything, but they are dull at best, and when they are as high as they are now it is even worse.”
“Might as well.” Victoria replied. She liked Mr. Rees, but I was still unsure. I did not expect the first populist I would meet to be a twink who seemingly had nothing better to do than sit around making fun of people to their face for his own amusement.
“My name is Calvin, I don’t like the Mr. Rees shit, that is their formality, not mine. Sorry for taking you away so quickly, but I am genuinely curious as to what you are up to, and I doubt you would speak freely in front of them. Those four see the army as something to be proud of, so seeing you in uniform doesn’t strike them as odd, but I know how strange it is to show up to a random coffee house far from the front in dress uniform, especially two privates with a civilian.”
“Any harm in telling him?” I asked, genuinely unsure.
“I don’t see any harm in it.” Victoria replied. Anne shrugged.
“We are on our way to Marticourt for royal shields, Anne and I, Victoria is our friend.”
“Well then, congratulations.”
“Just did what we had to.”
Calvin nodded, “Fair enough, if everyone got a medal for putting their life on the line doing what they had to, every miner, factory worker, and prostitute would have one, no offense meant.”
“None taken, those are dangerous jobs, many enlist ‘cause it is the safer option.”
Calvin looked at the bundle of papers Victoria was holding before saying, “With that I will let you get on your way. I hope I have made a good impression on behalf of all populists. If you ever find yourself feeling lonely I think you will find we make excellent company.”
“Welcome to politics,” Victoria said when he was out of earshot, “where ever your allies don’t just say what they fucking mean.” I was as frustrated as Victoria, we all knew what he meant, so why didn’t he just say it plainly, what was the point of it?
Back on the train we read through most of the papers we got. There wasn’t much useful information in it. They were in constant disagreement on the details so we couldn’t figure out what was true and what wasn’t. The only clearly useful information was the existence of a bunch of vaguely similar proposals that involved taking some of parliament’s army budget and using it to make a new parliamentary branch of the navy. It would allow the construction of large expensive warships to be covered by the current navy budget and leave the smaller ships up to parliament. It left the army weaker, with the funding being split, but it didn’t diminish parliament’s power that much and the navy proper would still control the seas.
Supper was quiet. We talked a little, just summarizing what we read to each other. After, when we were back in the private car, Victoria started another lesson about my health.
“Feel here,” Victoria said to Anne as I lay face down on the bed, topless, “these lines of muscle that end up between her shoulder blades, they are the start of what will allow her to move her wings.” Anne’s hand on my back felt nice. “A succubi’s flight is largely mechanical, there is magic involved, obviously, but when you look you can easily see how much muscle is built up to give their wings enough strength, and from what I am told it is physically exhausting. Flying for any extended period relies on using the wind, not flapping. You can even feel extra chest muscles that come down from her collarbone.” Anne’s hand felt nice there too. “Bottoms off,” Victoria told me, so I took them off and lay back down. “It isn’t as dramatic a change but her legs will get stronger too, our best guess is to help with landing. It is apparently quite difficult, and I may have laughed a little too hard at some of Rebecca’s. She will get cramps in her legs, and you will want to check for knots, all the way along the back of her legs and her butt. You can just kinda go at it, but with her back be more careful. Follow each new muscle carefully and be gentle until her wings actually start growing. As for the new chest muscles, try to do the same as with her back, but obviously finding them under her breasts is tricky and massaging them can have, other effects, but even then, at least in my experience, it helps with the pain, just be careful, you don’t want to push between the new muscles or push them together.”
“How often should I massage her, how often can I?”
“Knowing Zal I think as needed is not something she can figure out, so once a day. She probably doesn’t need it so often at this point, but it is best to get her in the habit of it before it starts to really hurt. As for how often you can, at most twice a day, maybe, but if one isn’t enough I would look for knots or, as much as Zal will be more relaxed with you, look for a professional. That is why it’s important that Zal makes some demonic friends, it can be hard to find people who know anything about demon’s bodies as an outsider.”
“Makes sense, I will make sure she does.”
“It’s not just on you Anne.” I said while sitting up.
Victoria nodded in agreement, “don’t put too much pressure on yourself Anne. Being a succubus just hurts, you won’t be able to fix everything or solve every issue, just focus on making things better, not perfect. As for the sex, I still think twice a day is best for now, so I will sleep on the couch. Anne, if you could leave your uniform out of the bedroom with Zal’s. I will get them washed tonight.”
“You don’t have to Victoria,” I said, “I can get by with once a day, it is far more than I am used to, or you can come in after. We talked about it, we don’t mind, and we don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“Trust me,” Victoria replied,”if I wake up sore I won’t sleep on the couch again, but there is also some, let’s call it social, discomfort sleeping next to you two. Please use a towel and try to stay to one side, if I can’t sleep on the couch I will want my half of the bed back.”
“We will, night Victoria, thanks for everything.” Anne said.
“Goodnight.” She replied.
Even looking at Anne naked I didn’t want to have sex. The idea wasn’t awful, it just felt like a chore. It was easier to accept that I needed it when I waited too long. The idea that need was really a routine I had to put effort into to maintain was daunting. Anne, of course, noticed my hesitation.
“I’m sorry,” I said, “just not exactly in the mood but…”
Anne got in bed and cuddled up against me. “But?”
“I should, right?”
“This doesn’t feel great. If you were human or beastfolk the answer would be no, but you’re not. I don’t know what to do.”
“Welcome to my life.” I thought for a while with Anne against me, my arm around her.
“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I explained to her, “if you asked I would say yes, happily, I just don’t want to initiate, and I guess it’s scary thinking I have to put effort into this and that my body doesn’t really give me a choice, not a real one at least. Honestly it feels the same with food. It’s daunting to think I just can’t not eat, I have to have regular meals even when I don’t want to, and if I don’t it hurts, just a raw, frustrating, physical pain.”
“I know,” she ran her finger along my horns, “it isn’t fair, I know humans and beastfolk who treat their body far worse than you treat yours and nothing bad happens to them.”
“You don’t have to be so nice about my whining. Doesn’t exactly help set the mood.”
“I don’t mind, and speaking of the mood, if you feel better with me initiating, how do I tell the difference between a “I don’t want to but it’s fine ‘cause it is good for me” and a “I don’t want to it is not fine, hard no, stop.””
“I just say no?”
“Is it really that simple? Am I overthinking it?”
“If it doesn’t work I will say something, and you will too, right?”
“Of course.”
Anne looked me in the eyes, waiting for permission. I nodded and she kissed me. As I pulled her close I thought of how this was another thing we never had the time for. To make, to run my hands all over her, to drag my nails through her fur into her skin for the gentlest of scratches, in no rush to get anywhere. At first I worried I might bore her but her tail flicking happily let me know I wasn’t. I tried to see if I could figure out what part of her I could touch, what way I could touch her, to get it to move but I couldn’t figure it out, a mystery I was determined to solve one day, no matter how much I had to touch Anne to do so. When I stopped kissing her to catch my breath she started to reach down but I grabbed her wrist to stop her.
“Can we kiss a little more, and then, can I focus on you?” She kissed me, frantically, all over my lips, neck, chest, and breasts. She made me feel so beautiful, and it gave me the idea to flip her over, so she was on her back and I was on top of her so I could kiss her in the same way, except I worked my way all the way down, across her belly to her thighs. With my head between her legs I couldn’t help but wonder why I didn’t do this sooner. I wanted to tease her. To start by kissing up her thighs, then around her pussy, ever so slowly making my way to her lips, maybe put my tongue in her, waiting until she was begging until I finally would get to her clit, starting with gentle licks working my way up to sucking. That didn’t happen though, with her in front of me I couldn’t take my time with her. She gasped when I first licked her clit, it was a little rude going straight for it, but it made me laugh. Anne didn’t like that so she grabbed one of my horns and pulled my face into her. While I may not have been able to resist tasting her now that I was, I had the willpower to tease her a bit with my fingers. I ran my finger around her lips, then around her entrance, but as I moved my finger back to her lips Anne said, “damn it Zal,” so I entered her, properly, with two fingers, curling up to her g-spot. She pushed her legs against my head so hard it hurt, but I liked it. I wasn’t easy on her, and she didn’t last long, her legs shaking a little before she let go of me. It wasn’t a particularly big orgasm by Anne standards but I was happy with it, and she was too judging by her face when I crawled up next to her. I kissed her all over her face and cuddled up against her. I couldn’t help it, I was proud of myself for managing twice in one day for the first time, and I was so thankful to Anne for getting me there, for being here with me.