Events had unfolded far too quickly for comfort for It-Has-Pockets. One second, the dragons were duking it out as normal while the armored dwarf chased her around, the next moment occurred in a blur of rapid movements. The red dragon had fired a beam of some powerful magic at her inamorato. Simultaneously, her inamorato snatched up the dwarf in his left hand and held said dwarf in position to intercept the beam. Were it not for [Tempo Rush], she would not have been able to track their movements at all, and even with it, she could barely make out what had happened.
Her inamorato’s left arm had been blown off with the dwarf still clutched in its hand, the dwarf’s armor remaining surprisingly intact, but his blood had been drained completely and sucked towards the red dragon. The arm and the dwarf went sailing away into the marsh, and before they even hit the ground, the red dragon had rushed in. It-Has-Pockets had skedaddled out of the way as quickly as her deft legs would allow, and though she tumbled and somersaulted as needed, she still managed to glimpse the red dragon falling into a pit that appeared in the earth. Her inamorato promptly jumped into the hole as well with a flip that left him facing her. Then a blinding white flash followed such acrobatics, which served as a precursor for overwhelming shadow that seemed to suck all the light from the area.
Two dragons had found themselves in the darkness of the pit, but only one returned after the hungering darkness abated its prowling hunt for more light. Fortunately, said dragon was her inamorato, alive and well, sans the missing arm.
“Looks like it’s lights out for that guy,” he stated mischievously after scrambling out of the pit to stand upright. It-Has-Pockets managed to conceal her groan and eye-rolling at the terrible one-liner, but only barely. “Now where is that [Archer]?”
It-Has-Pockets, suddenly remembering her adversary, crouched down and spun in an evasive flourish, ready to intercept any more arrows heading her way. However, as she spotted the dumb-struck [Archer] who had been gaping at the whole spectacle instead of hiding, she noticed half a dozen kobolds pouncing him and taking him to the ground. Her inamorato, seemingly satisfied that there were no more enemies left, limped over to his severed arm. Sitting down, he picked up the severed limb in his good hand and held it to his lightly bleeding stump.
“Looks like I get to see how well my Skills work at reattaching limbs,” he said to her as he waited patiently for his body to work its magic.
Feeling that she ought to respond, she shook her head to clear her mind and walked over to him, her dance complete. “Better an arm than a head. I imagine that would be an order of magnitude more difficult.”
“One would think so,” he responded as he lowered his head to her, his eyes seemingly pondering some mystery, “But then, many people seem to live full lives without ever using their head, so perhaps there is hope for me if I fail at such regeneration.”
He flashed her a toothy smile, one meant to be friendly, but the sharp teeth still portrayed the threat of annihilation to anyone who would dare cross the dragon. Still, the juxtaposition of the near-death experience with his terrible jokes somehow worked, for It-Has-Pockets found herself giggling as she leaned up against his good arm.
“Looks like the cavalry's here,” she said as she pointed at the fliers heading their way. Doubtless he could see them with his eyes being a little more on the sides of his head than completely forward facing, but it showed she was paying attention.
One vessel, looking like a flat-bottomed boat with some strange cylinders on the side of it, descended rapidly and, as it was about to land, disappeared. Wisps of magical particles trailed after the vessel as it was unsummoned, its occupants falling the remaining two feet to the ground and somehow sticking the landing as they slid through the mud. The gnome and goblin she recognized as Bellwright and Alterez respectively, the other two were some random humans she had never met.
“Boss, you’re alive! What do you want us to do?” The goblin jumped up and down excitedly to punctuate his greeting.
Craning his head towards the new arrivals so he would face them, her inamorato took a more serious tone as he issued orders. “Have the other fliers scout the perimeter for any escaping dragon hunters. They are to be taken dead or alive with no preference. I want all the bodies of the fallen and their equipment collected in one central location. Try to organize them neatly in a grid. Alterez, you begin skinning and butchering the dead dragon in the pit over there. Bellwright, try to morph the terrain for a large patch of solid ground where the bodies can be laid out. If need be, I can also create a makeshift platform if you could get the terrain in order. No looting, and provide medical aid to my allies, especially the kobolds. That is all.”
With orders given, the four newcomers hopped to it. The humans apparently had Skills to relay messages to the other fliers, for said fliers veered off from their landing approach to circle the perimeter. Alterez wasted no time in hopping down into the pit with the dead dragon. How such a little goblin would be able to manage such a large corpse was a mystery to It-Has-Pockets, but where there are Abilities, there is a way.
Minutes passed in quiet as her inamorato seemingly concentrated on things she could not see. Gradually, others trickled in, including Skull, Nanu, Hopper, and Ribbette, the last two of which seemingly appeared eager to embrace, but shy to engage in public displays of affection. Meanwhile, a second wave of fliers from the vanguard arrived, some barely limping along as they were in dire need of repairs or healing. Likewise, in the distance, the slower fliers carrying the bulk of the relief force were visible. Bellwright had managed to elevate a large section of land about two feet above the waterline, which created a suitable space to deposit loot and set up camp.
“Great One,” shouted a kobold with a colorful headdress of feathers. “Many of my fellow kobolds have fallen in service to you. While they do not lament such an honor, you do not have enough eggs to revive all of them. While we can decide amongst ourselves who shall be granted the blessing of your magnanimous offer of eggs for resurrection, two kobolds of note are at death’s door. Gambino and Bambina’s wounds resist our healer’s attempts at mending, and we humbly call upon your mercy and the bounty of your efforts to heal them.”
It-Has-Pockets turned to look at her inamorato, only to see his face etched with deep concern and dismay. She once again had to catch herself from falling as he transformed into his human form and approached the kobold.
“Take me to them!”
So he commanded, so the kobold obeyed. He scurried off quickly to the medical tent, with her inamorato and the rest of the gang hot in his remarkably speedy heels. There they found Gambino and Bambina on a cot together, each with a nasty gut wound that went completely through them. Even unconscious, they clung to one another in a romantic and heartfelt embrace.
Though her inamorato’s left arm hung limp at his side, it didn’t fall off, which was promising in terms of his recovery. Less promising was the recovery of the poor kobolds, who at best had a few anguish-filled hours before they expired. Clearly worried, he took a moment to take a deep breath and clear his mind with his eyes closed before he continued.
“Here, Boss,” offered Alterez as he handed over a rather wicked-looking ceremonial dagger, the kind used at the potluck for ‘sacrifices’.
“Thank you, Alterez. It seems that you are well aware of what is to happen, considering you have gone through it, too.”
And with that, her inamorato cut a small gash on his left forearm, just enough for a drop of blood to form on the tip of the blade. It-Has-Pockets curiously leaned around him to get a better view as she watched him then touch the tip of the blade to the blue tongue of Gambino, forcing the blood into the kobold’s mouth. He repeated the process for Bambina, and upon finishing, handed the knife back to Alterez, who looked a little too eager to have the knife in his possession. Then her inamorato staggered, almost falling until Skull caught him.
This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
“Easy there, Master,” cooed Skull as she held him close. “Two at once may be quite the strain upon you. Rest now, and let the healing take place.”
A strange sense of jealousy jolted through It-Has-Pockets. Clearly, they each knew of something deep and intimate that would soon transpire. Likewise, It-Has-Pockets wanted to both be the one scooping up her inamorato and the one being scooped up by Skull. To be so excluded from the whole affair left her feeling a tad abandoned. It vexed her more than anything that she felt that way at all, for she was the one who had spent her youth making others pine for her affection. Now that the tables were turned, she was forced to admit to herself that doing so to other people was pretty shitty behavior.
Skull gently set him down on an empty cot next to the kobolds. Kneeling at his head, she tenderly ran her fingers through his hair while massaging his head and whispering sweet-nothings to him. Nanu pulled a bowl of water from dimensional storage and began gently washing away the blood on his now-healed wound on his forearm. Alterez scampered off, probably remembering he still had a dragon to butcher, the knife tucked away almost as a precious keepsake as he kept one hand upon the hilt at all times while he dashed out of the tent. Not wanting to feel left out, It-Has-Pockets kneeled at his feet, removed his boots, and began to massage his feet.
In short order, her inamorato had fallen asleep while surrounded by three beautiful women who all loved him and, to a lesser extent, each other. And as she comforted him, she wondered if perhaps this life were not so bad. Caught up in her imagination, she entertained one fantasy after another of their lives together as she made plans for the future.
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Gambino awoke in a strange stone room, one filled with light despite no apparent source. Unadorned, the only features of note were a pair of doors that presumably led out of the room. Fortunately, Bambina remained in his arms, and though she mumbled something about “five more minutes”, she soon startled herself awake as she tossed around in his arms.
“Where are we?” she asked groggily as she rubbed at her eyes with her tongue.
“Your guess is as good as mine, toots.” he answered as he rose to his feet and helped her up. “However, as long as you are by my side, I know we can do anything.” Bambina beamed her best smile at him as she hugged him close and pecked him on the cheek with her tongue. “Let’s say we’s go and check it out, ya?”
She nodded in approval, and together, they reached up on their tippy toes to grab the handle and yanked it rhythmically to pry the door ajar. Once pried open, Gambino stepped towards the crack between the doors and pushed it open enough for the pair of them to slip through.
Both with eyes peeled and mouths agape, they found themselves in a grand hall, one ornately decorated with murals of painted stone depicting dragons performing various deeds. Great statues, at least twice the size of a normal human, depicted what they guessed to be the humanoid forms of dragons standing next to their draconic forms, which were also statues. Hundreds of them filled the hall, which only progressed straight ahead, with statues arrayed evenly on each side and likewise spaced apart as if placed in a grid.
“How did you two get here?”
Bambina leapt into Gambino’s arms in the style of a princess carry, which was exactly how they had practiced being startled by sudden announcements. Pride and approval flowed through him that his love stuck to her training when spooked.
“You know what, nevermind. Stay there, I will figure it out for myself.”
A low rumbling sound filled the hall, one that steadily grew louder as if approaching. Gambino looked into the distance to see something round rolling towards them. With no way out and not wanting to appear rude, the pair of kobolds patiently waited for whoever spoke to approach. Within a few seconds, it became clear that some kind of egg was rolling towards them. However, with every blink of his eyes, the pattern on the shell changed, which spoke of some disturbing shenaniganry from Skills. The egg arrived far quicker than expected, almost as if the distance had been magically shortened instead of the egg rolling faster. It uprighted itself, and upon inspection, one could clearly see that it was a dragon egg. Stubby legs poked their way out of the bottom, wings and tail out the back, and two holes appeared where gold glowing orbs for eyes gazed out at them.
“Hmm, yes, I see.” It spoke in a neutral yet critical voice, like a farmer at the market looking over a draft horse that he considered purchasing. “That makes sense, you are with the Outlier. He is doing weird stuff that isn’t in my handbook. I would normally ask my supervisor for help, but he hasn’t been here for,” it paused as if calculating something, “over 500 million years, give or take. I am starting to suspect he is not going to be coming back with the coffee like he promised.”
It paused, looking at them expectantly, while the Kobolds just shared a look of bewilderment between them. Eventually, it continued talking. “Anywho, let me review your master’s track record and figure out what you are here for.” Its eyes disappeared from view while the egg shook, its voice sounding farther inside the egg as it grumbled and muttered something about “stupid clipboard” in its struggles to do… something.
“Aha! Here we go. Ahem.” Its eyes returned to view as they looked downward and quickly moved side to side as if reading. “Yes, I see. You are here for your Dual Blessings. Have anything in mind?” Gambino and Bambina looked at each other in confusion for a moment before they both tried to somehow answer, only to be cut off. “Of course not, you wouldn’t know that is what you are here for. Kobolds are not even supposed to be in here, as this area is for [Dragon Emperors] only. Well, there isn’t so much a rule as it is normally impossible for anyone else to get here. This is shaping up to be a red letter day.”
And on and on the chatterbox in the egg rambled, casually mentioning things profound and mysterious about the workings of the universe, dragons, kobolds, how dragons and kobolds came to their symbiotic relationship, how kobolds could ascend to draconic forms, and so on. All of it was said in passing in a matter-of-fact manner, the speaker completely oblivious as to how he glossed over the very thing all kobolds dreamed of; how to become a dragon.
“It seems you two are a pair in more ways than one, so your Dual Blessings should match. Technically,” he stressed the word as he paused briefly, “I am authorized to distribute those to you since you qualify. Hmm, let me think up what ones you should have.
Its appendages withdrew into the egg, with all the holes in the egg repairing themselves seamlessly and instantly. The shell flashed through colors and patterns several times a second, with the egg itself shaking sometimes. The pair of kobolds leaned in to hear it, only to catch a few snippets of it muttering to itself in different tones of voice, giggling, growling, and perhaps a snort. After five minutes, it popped back out again as before.
“I got it!” it exclaimed triumphantly as it slowly danced in a circle. “You!” he seemed to point at Gambino, despite no arms as of yet poking through the shell. “[Used Wagon Salesman].” It paused for a moment as if it clearly expected something to happen. “What’s going on here? Oh, that Gubberloodoo has that one locked. Hmm. Okay then. That was going to be a really powerful one, I guess we need to go to the bargain bin. How about [Twin-Souled Draconic Scions]? It hasn’t been used in thousands of years, but it is still on the books.”
Its eyes shifted back and forth between the kobolds expectantly, and he leaned in as he waited for a response. Gambino looked at Bambina, who nodded to him, the gleam in her eye saying that she would follow him anywhere.
“We accept,” responded Gambino with more confidence in his voice than he felt, given the bizarre situation.
“Excellent! I’ll process that request here directly,” he said as a strange scratching sound like pen scrawling across paper could be heard from within the egg. “Likewise, while I would love to have you stay and chat, you two chatterboxes have to leave since your souls were not designed to linger here. Tell your master to come by here soon and to bring coffee. Okay, bye, toodles.”
Gambino tried to reach out to the egg, to beg for more time so that all the questions both he and the kobold people had could be answered, but before he could even move, he found himself floating in The Void with Bambina. Almost instantly, a light appeared, with a tether going from them to the light. Nearby, The Boys could be seen with their own tether, and they were curled up, their body asleep and weary after their fight. Then the tether yanked the pair of kobolds in, and they found themselves awake and in a tent. Many pairs of expectant eyes stared down upon them, but even without looking, he could feel Bambina in his embrace. All would be well, for she remained with him, now more than ever. Though his new Blessing was in its infancy, he could feel his bond to her, and to a lesser extent, his bond to his Master, who had saved their lives, who had earned their service more than he could know.