I woke from my dream to a faceful of boobs, judging by the feel of soft bundles of joy upon my face. Additionally, I found myself on top of Nanu, who was on the floor and just to the side of the bed.
“Oh, couldn’t get enough of me while awake, you had to pounce me while in your sleep,” she teased as she hugged me closer into her bosom while I strained to look around and get my bearings.
Sensing my unease, she released me, and I raised myself to sit on the bed while offering her a hand up.
“Bad dream?” she asked as she sat down beside me. “You tossed and turned in your sleep, despite Chooka’s best efforts to console you. I was surprised when you tackled me off the bed just now.”
“Something like that,” I replied as I put an arm around her while leaning into her for support. “One that was too real, that teased out a few answers to my questions while raising a thousand more. I witnessed scenes of lives past, with some of the same people in each one, as if we had lived our lives together time after time.”
“Ooh, tell me more,” shouted a surprisingly alert and chipper Chooka as she flung herself onto my back and wrapped her arms around me. She was normally groggy in the morning, so today must be a good day for her.
“Well, there were always ten people, seemingly the same, but eight of them were just silhouettes. Two I could clearly see, namely, Skull and Alterez.”
“What!” Chooka shouted as she started tugging at me, “Skull I can understand, but Alterez over me! What did I ever do to deserve a lover who doesn’t dream of me following him in each life?” She proceeded to playfully bite me while pinning my arms to my side, letting her dissatisfaction be known as she hassled me in jest. “Those are the only two you gave your blood to, right?”
Feeling stupid for not making the connection before, I probably blushed in shame. To be fair, I had just woken up and hadn’t had time to piece it together. “Yeah, that makes sense. I am almost positive one of them was you, Chooka, but I don’t think having Skull stab you to be within an inch of death before giving you a drop of my blood is the right way to confirm that.”
“Fair enough,” she said while nibbling my ear. “You are better at penetrating me than she is anyway.”
With that entendre came the certainty that she was okay with things. Heavy petting ensued all around while I told the two of them about my dream. Skull was off searching the area, looking for signs of other Adventurers who may aim to poach my kills, so I would have to fill her in later.
“Hey,” I asked Nanu as I massaged her back, “Do all dragons get to choose their Skills with Experience Points, or is that just me?”
“Good question,” she said with a small gasp as I worked out a particularly stubborn knot. “You, like all Emperors, are seemingly unlimited for what Skills you can have and your ability to pick them. As one moves down in peerage, one has less and less ability to choose Skills, with some just being purchased automatically. However, lower peerage dragons have access to more customized Skills, whereas high peerage dragons have more generic Skills. Ergo, it behooves your high peerage dragons to spend time near the bottom so they can curate useful Skills.
“For instance,” she continued as she laid down on her belly so I could put more pressure into my work, “ I am a Dragon Consort, which means for my creation, one parent was a dragon and one was a non-dragon, such as any of the sentient races. Dragon Consorts spend more time in humanoid forms and get along with humanoids better. Within the same peerage, their power is weaker than Dragon Paragons, which have two dragon parents, but in return, they tend to have more versatility or specialization for their Skills. I was born a Duchess, demoted down step by step to Baron, and then promoted all the way back to Duchess, where I remained for two centuries before being promoted to Princess. Few dragons get to have such attention and grooming, but royalty or promising aspirants to royalty do.
“My Blessing is [Archivist of Secrets]. It was my job to monitor, protect, audit, and control the inventory of my former flight’s hidden caches all throughout the world. Most have probably been looted by my kin, but a few of them were entrusted only to me, as far as I know at least. Some of the Skills I needed for my job could not be learned by a Duchess, hence the need to go down the ranks until I had them all. It is pretty rare for a dragon to start low in peerage and climb high up, for they are generally created to exist at their tier or perhaps one up or down for most of their lives.
“As for Skills, they are flexible in what they can do. In theory, you could cause a tsunami with just [Basic Water Manipulation], but the mana cost to do so would be astronomical. The closer your Skill aligns with what you use it for, the easier and cheaper it is. Typically, you also have more control and finesse or other perks as well. Your big bada boom Skills are more common to those with high peerage, whereas something like [Detect Hidden Piles of Stinky Cheese] is so oddly specific that you would probably find that way down at the Baron tier. It would be super efficient and effective at what it is designed for, but less so for cheese that didn’t stink or was not hidden. Does all that make sense?”
She moved to roll over, her body completely exposed to me as I started on the other side. Her skin, reddish-brown with a hint of yellow, was rather exotic, more common to those who live further south in or near the desert, and I couldn’t help but get an eyeful while I worked, much to her satisfaction.
“Hey, why do you dragons get to pick your Skills while the rest of us just do our best and hope we get the ones we want,” asked Chooka as she sat back-to-back with me and worked on Nanu’s legs.
“That is a mystery that only the gods know of. Best case, you could try to be remade as a dragonling, but at that point you are at the mercy of your parent dragon to choose your Skills for you. But that is a difficult ritual that only Princes or Princesses and above can perform.”
“Hear that?” asked Chooka as she pushed her back into mine. “That means you can make me one someday. I would get wings and a better tail, but probably keep my horns. That would also give me some sweet scales here and there to make me look more badass.”
“Maybe someday when you are older,” I replied noncommittally as I continued my massage on a grateful Nadu. “That isn’t something to rush into since I barely know anything about them or being a dragon. Besides, I like you the way you are now. You're pretty cute, you know.”
“Thanks, you’re pretty cute too. How about we take this back to my place and have a tussle in the sheet?” she whispered suggestively while she flexed her arms back behind her to grab me on my sides.
“Point taken,” I answered as I rose from the bed, much to Nanu’s dismay. “I suppose we have lazed around long enough. Let’s wake up Alterez and get to butchering what we can of the dragons so we can head home. Naturally, I hope you tag along too, Nanu, because I like you too.”
“But of course,” she uttered in between clothes going over her head and onto her person. “I still have years of pent-up sexual desire, and you have volunteered yourself to sate my hunger. What was it, something about you promising to ‘provide opportunities that bring satisfaction and provide happiness’, to me?”
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Hey!” shouted Chooka. “Anything you do to my man in bed you also gotta do to me. Also, I will do it to him as well,” she finished with a mischievous grin lighting up her face.
“What if I did…” Nanu started before whispering into Chooka’s ear. Chooka’s expression, animated and exaggerated, cycled through gleeful enthusiasm, surprise, shock, doubt, and respect for the wisdom Nanu had to offer.
Fully clothed and ready to go with all our things packed away, I addressed the two women still swapping daring ideas like schoolgirls. “You ladies ready to get this show on the road, or should I leave you behind and let Skull do by herself all those dirty things you have been talking about doing to me?”
The pair of them, looking indignant, started chasing after me as I led them to Alterez, for we needed his butchering Skills if we were to make it home at a reasonable hour.
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After hours of gutting and butchering dragons, Alterez would be happy to never have to do it ever again. The Count had been mostly intact, so that had been the lion’s share of the work. The Boys had eaten one, so that had been a free pass. Likewise, Hopper had sliced one up into mostly unusable parts, so little could be salvaged from it. With fortunes continuing, the one Ribbette had killed had crashed into a wyvern corpse, and with it being so heavily contaminated, it had melted into a poisonous pile of bone and goo, so only the bones from each were salvaged. Skull’s wyvern was mostly intact, albeit hacked to bloody pieces in spots, but it had still been a chore to carve away at it. Likewise, the one they shot down needed to be processed as well, which naturally fell to Alterez to do. With everything packed up and stored away, that just left the kobolds, who showed up as Alterez finished cleaning his blades and person.
“Oh, how cute!” Alterez heard The Bossman shout as the kobolds approached. “They’re little ninjas!”
Alterez didn’t know what a ‘ninja’ was, for he had never seen one before, but two of the kobolds were dressed in black from head to toe with only their eyes and the flesh between them showing.
“And you two look… unique,” The Bossman finished diplomatically as Gambino and Bambina also approached.
Gambino wore some strange but stylish suit, complete with a tie and a blue-collared shirt visible under his dark-gray blazer. A strange, white, metallic hat with a short rim on the front of it sat upon his head, appearing rather small considering the shape of his head did not allow normal hats like it to fit like it would for a more ‘humany’ humanoid. In his hand he held a clipboard and a lanyard with a picture of him on it hung from his neck. He also wore a bright orange and yellow vest over top of it all.
Bambina looked similar, but sadly, she didn’t have a bust any more. Her hat was slightly skewed to one side and yellow. She did not wear a blazer, but she did wear work boots instead of fancy shoes like Gambino. In her hand she held a staff, and at the top of the staff was an eight-sided and thin piece of metal that said, “STOP” on one side and “SLOW” on the other, each side having red/white and orange/black color schemes respectively. She sported a similar vest, but hers was unbuttoned, unlike Gambino’s.
“Thanks, Master. Everything is ready to go. Just sign here and here, and we can depart.”
The Bossman, playing along, signed whatever form Gambino had presented to him on the clipboard.
“Alright then,” Gambino continued, “How are we getting to your home?
“I will carry Chooka in my arms with Gambino and Bambina hanging off my back and Skull in my shadow. Alterez and the other two kobolds will go with Nanu. I am sure you can keep up,” he declared as he gave a glance to Nanu. “Hopper, Ribbette, you two have done excellent work and I’m proud of you. You are released from your summoning to continue as you please.”
After a long pause, the pair of Giant Frogs nodded and disappeared in a halo of yellow light.
“As for you Boys!” The Bossman wheeled on the hydra, each head looking nervous for what would follow. “Since you had enough energy to raid the pantry, you must have the energy to run along home with us. You lead from the front, and if you slow down, we will all ‘motivate’ you to keep running.”
A chorus of whining followed as The Boys complained about their punishment. Giving them no slack, The Bossman physically prodded The Boys to make their way back to the road, which they did at a plodding pace, taking care not to trip. Conversely, Alterez got to enjoy a pleasant trip nestled in the arms of Nanu, who herself was every bit as attractive as Chooka. Not as tall though, perhaps an inch or two shorter than The Bossman, but her long black hair, which hung freely to her waist, seemed to supernaturally defy entanglement from the wind, staying prim and proper as they followed along.
“Now, mush,” barked The Bossman once they got to the road. The Boys, still whining but obedient, waddled along as fast as their stubby little legs could take them as they made their way home. Their speed was deceptively quick considering their awkward form, and no doubt they could easily chase down a terrified goblin on open terrain. Glad to be on the side of The Boys, Alterez enjoyed the wind over his bald head as they made good time for about three or so miles, at which point The Boys slowed to a crawl for a while until they ultimately collapsed in a heap, too tuckered out to continue.
“Let that be a lesson, Boys,” The Bossman chided, the whole time carrying the kobolds and Chooka, the latter of which looked sympathetic to the plight of her scale-babies. “Stealing from your family is bad. You aren’t going to do it again, right?”
Four heads bobbed in unison, renewed vigor finding their way into their necks as they sought to placate their Papa with soothing songs and subservience. The Bossman rubbed their belly for a bit, which made for an awkward motion while still carrying Chooka in his arms, but overall The Boys were reassured that Papa still loved them.
“Okay then. I release you from your summoning. Shrink down first so you don’t break the house upon your return.
The Boys stood upright in response, one neck bending as if to salute in response. They shrunk down to about the size of a person, and then they too disappeared in a halo of light.
“Now then, let’s leave the wilderness behind and get home.”
Their speed picked up dramatically at that point, the distance between them and the city shrinking rapidly by the minute as farms zipped by one after another.
As they neared the city, Alterez knew something was amiss. Large lines had gathered at the gate, and as they neared the side gate for Adventurers and the like, they were waved through without so much as a confirmation check for their identities. Slowing his pace, The Bossman jogged along as a lot of fancily clad men and women in armor escorted them, herding them in a direction that wasn’t home. Many different forms of heraldry adorned their tabards, shields, and armor, so this amalgamation of knights represented something big. Upon closer look, Alterez realized that the symbols he saw were all of gods, and not just any gods, but representing the full pantheon of Light and Dark gods. Somehow, The Bossman had got tangled up in something very important, and by virtue, Alterez was now part of it too.
They arrived at a heavily guarded meeting hall within the temple district. The Bossman’s ad hoc honor guard fanned out to create a screen that boxed them in and left them nowhere to go but up the stairs and into the hall. Hundreds of similarly fancy and holy-roller-looking individuals roamed the area, ever vigilant for eavesdroppers and assassins. If a flea farted, at least a dozen of them would smell it before the flea did.
“So, does someone want to tell me what this is about?” asked The Bossman to an assembly of super holy-looking people.
No, not just any holy people. Each one was a [Paladin]. Four for Light, four for Dark, and a smattering of other ones. Strangest of all, even a goblin [Paladin] was present, and if that was not the [Paladin] of Gubberloodoo, Alterez would eat his boots.
“We are glad you could attend, Emperor. We have much to discuss,” declared one of them that Alterez could not see clearly on account of Nanu setting him down. Likewise, the others were set down and Skull even came out of The Bossman’s shadow, which surprisingly, made no one flinch or draw steel. “I am the [Paladin] of Echludoro, Light god of Time and Space. I head this quorum of [Paladins], and it is for you, on behalf of our respective gods, that we gather.”
Panic racing through him, Alterez swallowed nervously at the news. Stuff like this usually ended in people burning at the stake, if the stories were to be believed.
“Worry not,” the [Paladin] continued, “You are not in trouble. The gods have a request to make of you. Would you kindly stay a while and listen to what we have to speak of with you.”
The request that was not a request now made, The Bossman and company were shown to their seats. Of all the places in the world to be a [Cult Leader] on day one of practicing, this was the worst possible place to be. Alterez focused on remaining uninteresting, hoping that he would remain less toasty than the food he cooked by the time the day ended.