We slept well into the afternoon. At least that is what I would like to say, but we actually woke up to the sound of a bell being rung repeatedly. Before my mind could even process thought, I found myself sitting upright with a dagger drawn, ready and able to deliver bloody vengeance to whoever disturbed my slumber.
As reason crept its way into my mind, I realized that no alarm spell caused such a fuss, but rather, it came from the crate with the hydra egg. I had rigged a small bell inside such that it would ring if the egg moved, and generally speaking, I have experienced that eggs do not move on their own unless they are hatching. I keenly desired to be there when it hatched, so the bell had served its purpose to satisfaction.
And thus, in the wee hours of a midsummer's morning, Chooka and I, naked to the world as newborns, huddled around the egg with eager anticipation. It did not exactly hatch, for it was far more leathery like skin than solid like eggshell. Tiny teeth sunk their way through the egg’s exterior, and with a bit of shaking, tore loose a section, which was then withdrawn into the egg. The process drew on for some ten minutes at least, no doubt because the conditions inside were rather cramped and the toil itself must have been terribly exhausting for such a young creature. The hydra ate its way out, not randomly, but quite clearly focused on cutting the exterior in half around the middle.
With a final bite, the egg exterior separated, and with great wobbling effort from the heads within, they flung it free from themselves. Three tiny heads peered up at the two of us, looking at us each in turn, but as I observed, first to me and second to Chooka. The distinction may seem trivial, but that random chance defined the course of life for this newborn. I had expected and confirmed that hydras imprint on a parent, but the loyalty is partially divided, as a parent hydra likewise has many heads.
I remember kittens and puppies and other small critters with clarity. They start out a little pathetic and get cuter over time as they become more active. This creature was ready to go from the start, more or less, with eyes open and legs capable. I lifted it out of the crate and set it down on the furs and blankets of the bed, very much thankful that it did not bite me. I have seen many babies of many creatures in my time, either up close or in my memories, but hydras are without a doubt the cutest things I have ever witnessed. It stood wobbly on its legs, but within minutes, it was able to waddle with respectable confidence. Its little stub of a tail wiggled with excitement in every direction without any observable pattern. Its heads were a bit large for its necks, and they each bumped into each other with regularity. Their mouths, eyes, and nostrils were proportionally larger than an adult, while the other body parts were stubbier, namely, the legs and tail.
The heads sang to us, all high pitched, but each in a slightly different key, with a surprisingly good level of harmony. I knew not what the song meant, but it was beautiful. Gingerly, I reached a hand out to pet the central head, and it accepted my affection without complaint. The other two heads quickly vied for my affection. Emboldened by the fact that my digits had not been ripped off, Chooka, who could barely contain herself on the cuteness overload before her, reached a hand in as well. The heads of the hydra alternated between which hand they wanted to pet them, and at times they would nibble lightly, not enough to hurt, but enough to show their curiosity and, as we deemed it, affection.
The hydra, when upright and with necks stretched to their comfortable resting position, stood at a height up to my knee. We both proceeded to hand-feed it small bits of meat and experimented with other foodstuffs. All heads liked meat and cheese, one head liked berries, and another liked some of the vegetables we had to offer it. And thus we learned that each head had its own preferences and personalities.
From my research, I had been told that more heads will grow over time, and that no one around here had seen or heard credible tales of a hydra with more than seven heads. When one head is cut off, two more grow back in its place, but those heads and associated necks are temporary, such that they will fall off and wither away. The then “slain” head will grow back in time with memories and personality intact. I had already learned the hard way that those temporary heads do not breathe any sort of breath attack, but what element or elements this hydra would take after remained a mystery. There was heated debate in the hydra community that the breath attack element changes over time, or that not all heads have the same one, or that they don’t need to match the parent. I had no idea how soon it would be until it gained such an ability or what temperament it may have.
There were more mysteries and unknowns about hydras than there were known facts. Many a merchant and noble had offered ludicrous amounts of money for it, but I entertained none of them. This would be my pet and learning experience. I had Chooka walk away from me, and the poor little thing looked confused, each head not knowing which of us to follow. Perhaps it is easier to follow mama hydra when all the heads are on one body, so this must have been an alien experience for the creature’s instinct. It ultimately followed me, much to Chooka’s chagrin. Her cheeks puffed slightly with a pout at being second favorite. In retaliation, she walked over and scooped it up, hugging it close and kissing it.
We spent the rest of the morning playing with it and performing experiments. I must admit, after careful examination, we could not determine if it was male or female. Perhaps both, perhaps neither, who knows?
“What should we call it?” Chooka asked me as she held the thing close and jostled it up and down like a newborn babe.
“I don’t know. Do we call each head by a different name?” I asked, unsure of proper naming etiquette for hydras.
“I don’t know either,” she replied, “but it stands to reason. Each head has its own personality.”
“Hmm,” I hummed as I pondered names. “I want to say Nomi, Bitey, Chompy.”
“No, you can’t do that!” cried Chooka. “You gotta take this seriously.”
“Oh, and what names do you have, be honest now. I bet you were also thinking something cute like that.”
“I was not! Okay, that’s a lie. I was going to go with Slithers, Snek, and Serpy,” replied Chooka sheepishly.
We talked back and forth about names for over an hour, each throwing out suggestions from silly to serious and short to obnoxiously long. We finally agreed, going left to right, on Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. Chooka had never heard of the names before and had no good reason to reject them. I could not exactly place why those names felt right, but they did, so I stuck with them. The middle head, Plato, was certainly the boldest and the leader. The left, Socrates, was cautious and inquisitive, while the right was either shy or reckless with no middle ground.
We decided to take the little guys for a walk. They waddled behind us as Chooka and I walked arm in arm through meadows and over easy trails through the woods, careful to keep an eye on them so that they did not get lost or straggle. Ever the troopers, the trio of heads took turns looking at anything and everything while one would pay attention to where they were going. At times we had to wait for them to catch up as one would get distracted by a bug, a stick, or their own shadow. Once, the trio tripped and tumbled head over heels, rolling three whole revolutions before coming to a stop. They rebounded quickly and shook off their dizziness, and the two of us could not contain ourselves at the sight as we doubled over crying with laughter at such clumsiness. After two hours, the trio became tuckered out, and so Chooka scooped them up and carried them as we made our way back to camp.
As we approached the campfire, the trio began singing again, which we came to understand signaled hunger, which was perhaps prompted by the stew that yet simmered on the campfire. We both fed them, and when they were full, they waddled a short ways away to deposit leavings, wasting no time to hurry back when completed.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“How considerate of them,” expressed Chooka with genuine contentment. “I half expected they would just poop on me as I carried them.
“Indeed. That would be a shitty start to parenthood though.”
Chooka laughed at my crude joke as she petted them. “They seem drowsy, perhaps it is naptime. I think we have a box we can use for a bed if we repurpose those blankets from the egg crate.”
We set about the task of rigging up a bed box for them to sleep in. Chooka and I made up a silly lullaby on the spot as we sang them to sleep. They tried to listen at first, heads tilted in puzzled contemplation at what our song could possibly mean. But, eyelids drooped as heads bobbed ever lower to the ground, unable to resist the soothing melody and its invitation to dreamland. The trio plopped over and fell asleep with the tiniest of snores from each of them.
“I know we have only had them for a few hours, but I would fight to the death to protect them,” declared Chooka with vindication. “They are the cutest things in existence.”
“They absolutely are,” I agreed. “By the way, how did you feel today? Did you overheat at all?”
As if suddenly remembering her gift, she perked up and looked down at her bracelet as she rubbed it with her other hand. “No, not at all. I feel great” she exclaimed with enthusiasm. “I love it, but not as much as I love you.”
“Do you love me more than our new children?” I asked with a grin forming across my face.
“Well, if the yurt caught fire, I would grab them and run, as I trust you to look after yourself,” she teased as she avoided eye contact briefly.
“I guess I will just have to remind you of how much you love me,” I retorted playfully as I pulled her close and kissed her neck.
“Only if you do so daily,” she replied before a soft moan escaped her mouth.
“Shh. You have to be quiet,” I chided as I lowered her to the bedding. “We don’t want to wake them. Let me help you, my love.”
I grabbed her by the throat and gently choked her as we began our favorite pastime together. A bold and risky move on my part, as it was my first time attempting that, but that maneuver soon found its way into our favorite repertoire of techniques. It worked wonders, for our little bundle of joy remained blissfully unaware of our passion as it slumbered peacefully.
After completing our ritual of bonding, I deposited a tub on the ground outside and then went to the spring to draw water, which I transported back via my pocket dimension. With a little touch of Fire magic and a few scented oils, I had a warm bath ready for the two of us. We enjoyed the good soak and tenderly washed each other off from what filth we had accumulated through recent adventures. Afterwards we dressed and broke camp.
I used my whistle to summon back our mounts, and true to the reassurances offered by their caretakers, they gallivanted back into view as they snatched up a few snacks along their return trip. They showed no concern for our hydra, and mine did not protest as I rigged the bed box to the saddle and tack.
We took our time riding back, appreciating the view and being mindful that our route did not disturb the hydra. We arrived back at the city by sunset, and we needed only to flash our guild gorgets to be let in with nary an inspection. Auspicious, truly, that no one checked what was in the box, for questions would have been raised that would have led to awkward conversation. We returned our mounts and made our way back to the dorms.
“We will need to buy a house with a large and fenced-in yard somewhere on the edge of the city if we are to provide ample space for our children to frolic,” I proposed to Chooka as we made our way back to the dorms.
“Yes we will, we just need to…” She paused, as realization struck her. “You want us to move in together?”
“Naturally,” I responded. “They need their mother, and I need you by my side. Would this arrangement please you?”
With a high-pitched squeal, Chooka jumped up and down and spun about in an excited victory dance. She leaned in and kissed me, but as I was carrying the bed box and a sleeping hydra, I could not properly return as much enthusiasm as I wanted.
“I will take that as a yes.” I said after our kiss ended. “There is much to consider for that. We don’t need to decide it all tonight, but let’s work together and think this through to find the perfect home.”
We chatted away about the possibility of our new home. Chooka rattled away with enthusiasm concerning all the requirements, paperwork, inspections, and approvals that would need to be worked out. It quickly devolved from a back-and-forth to me nodding along as she went over every detail. I loved her all the more as she talked about something she was apparently quite passionate about, and I found it to be a great relief that she knew what needed to be done, for I would have made unimaginable headways in all the wrong directions without her knowhow.
Chooka had only been to my room once, as hers was of better quality and location, and that had been near the beginning of our relationship. Her jaw nearly dropped as she witnessed the small fortune of coins of all denominations scattered all around the room.
“Why do you have such wealth lying around? Do you never spend anything?” she asked with clear confusion and wonder etched across her face.
“Well, I am a dragon, and this is my hoard. Each coin here was earned through a specific transaction, one at a time. I couldn’t just grab any ol’ coin and toss it in here, there is no story to them,” I explained matter-of-factly to her. “I will never spend these coins, for to me, they are no longer currency. They empower me and cannot be exchanged, so please, never take them. I have actual coins for spending and that emergency fund I set up in case something should arise.”
Chooka nodded silently, as if it all made sense. I could almost see the gears turning in her mind as she pieced together why every contract and trade resulted in one coin.
“You made us all jump through hoops to balance accounts just right for you, and now I see why. You made a few people upset with your seemingly eccentric demands, but I totally understand your motive now.”
Chooka sat down on my bed, and I placed the hydra’s crate at the foot of it.
“One more thing of note about my accounts. Don’t ever spend the emergency fund on me, as that would corrupt the value of my hoard. I mean it to be used for charitable causes, ideally in the event of some catastrophe.”
“Got it,” she said. She patted the bed next to her for me to sit down, and I took her up on the offer. “So, you have a beautiful woman in bed with you right now. Why don’t you seduce her by giving her the full rundown of everything she needs to know?”
She gazed at me warmly, her hand finding mine as she anticipated my words. I knew she would not tolerate evasion of the topic, but in truth, I wanted to tell her everything.
“I know you love hearing the details of everything, and I will tell you everything I can, of what I know. There are things I cannot tell you yet, things I am either not ready to explain or that I have not figured out. I don’t want to mislead you with half truths.” I took her hand in mine and kissed it before continuing. “I promise I will fill you in as things become clear to me. I don’t want to hide who I am from you, I just don’t completely know what I am yet.”
She looked back at me with calm but loving determination before nodding slowly. “I would not have it any other way,” she said reassuringly as she put an arm around me. “I have things I cannot say too, mostly because I am sworn not to, but I trust you just the same.” She paused for a moment to let things sink in, before commanding, “Spill the porridge! Tell me everything that you can.”
And so we spent the rest of the night being honest and open with each other like never before. I explained my Blessing, my Abilities and how I often got to choose them, the mechanics behind how I advance in [Age] and how my [Hoard] worked. She listened intently, never once bored, her eagerness to know more increasing with every word. I left out the part about past lives. I was not too sure if they were real, or what implications may be associated with them in terms of culture or religion. It felt like a whole other realm of knowledge to burden her with as well, and I did not want her mind to be blown by being overtaxed with too many revelations in one night. She cried a little when I told her of my childhood and of Mother, and truthfully, I did too, and she held me a while before I continued. The sadness was quickly replaced by a gleam in her eye when I told her about my elf crush back home.
She in turn shared more of who she was with me. We did have to pause at one point to feed and walk the hydra so that nature’s call could be answered. We also played with them and sang them to sleep once again. Naturally, we bonded further through more physical means, and ended the night cuddled up together.