A solid knock at the door yanked Alterez’s mind from the queue into dreamland. Curious and irritated in equal measure, he begrudgingly sat up in bed, adjusting his nightcap and nightgown as his legs lazily swung over the edge in pursuit of his jackalope slippers. A second rapping, three quick knocks, urged him to hasten himself, and for some reason unknown, he complied.
As he opened the door, he came face to lace with boots that just kept going and going. Craning his neck back more and more, he beheld the sight of his dreams, of Chooka dressed in a combination of leather and silk that revealed as much as it shrouded in mystery, with the capstone of her disapproving and stern expression glaring down at him.
“Is it my time already? Have I died in my sleep, and this is the last gift to me from Gubberloodoo before he carries me off to the afterlife?”
One of those boots hooked its way between his legs, lifting more than kicking as it flung him through the air and back onto the bed, the motion done roughly but not with cruelty or malice. He bounced upon landing, crashing into the wall, but not coming to harm as he landed in a sitting position. Before he could even offer a prayer in thanks to his fortune, a stiletto from the heel of the same platform boot rested just barely on his throat, with Chooka standing on one leg at the edge of the bed.
“No such luck for me, I’m afraid.” Chooka leaned over as she whispered sweetly, somehow not losing balance as her bodice struggled to contain its ample cargo. “I have need of a little worm like you, and you will obey,” she whispered sweetly, the words caressing his ears as they perked up in stiff attention to her commands. That wasn’t just figurative, for the fine whisker-like hairs on the tips of his ears trembled in a soothing fashion at the timbre of her voice. “You are normally a wretched disappointment, but I have no time for such gross nonsense tonight. Are you man enough to satisfy my desire, or should I look elsewhere?”
With her stiletto pressing a little harder, not enough that it was hard enough to breath, but hard enough he knew who was in control, he mustered a response. “My body is ready.”
“Good,” Chooka purred in satisfaction, the sound nearly intoxicating as it worked its way past his ears and into his very soul. “But,” she paused as she stood upright, her stiletto right where she left it. “You will need to sign this form before we continue.”
Seemingly pulling the form and a pen out of nowhere from behind her back, she passed them to him. In haste, Alterez scrawled a respectably legible signature where she indicated.
“Excellent!” She beamed him a hearty smile as she withdrew her leg while simultaneously snatching away the form and pen.
Alterez kneeled there, legs spread, arms stretched wide, head tilted back, eyes closed, ready for his due punishment. He waited, and waited some more, then peeked out of one eye to see a smirking Chooka with hands akimbo.
“Silly little Alterez,” she chided sweetly, no hint of displeasure in her voice. “Get dressed, grab your knives; we are going on an adventure with ample violence on the menu.”
Confused by the sudden turn of events and by Chooka’s compassionate demeanor, Alterez complied with mechanical efficiency as his mind tried to make sense of the new development. Maybe this was all still a dream, like if he walked out of the door he would be in the kitchen, which itself had somehow been transported to a cosmic island in a lake of ephemeral stardust. By the time he finished getting ready, Chooka stood waiting by the door, a donned and open trench coat mostly covering her figure, a sin unto itself to hide such beauty from the world.
As he approached, she gently yet sternly grabbed him under the armpits and lifted him up to her height. Face to face, she smiled as she gave him instructions.
“I will be carrying you under my coat. Hold on tight. Scream or make too much noise, and I will smother you with my boobs.”
Before he could acknowledge her command, she hugged him close, his face buried in between twin bundles of joy. Darkness enveloped him as he contemplated releasing a rebel yell with all his might. Then they were moving, his body lightly bouncing along as two arms lightly held him, no doubt hooked across her chest.
And then it happened, something that had not happened for so long, he had nearly forgotten it. Alterez wept. Slowly at first, but then wracking sobs flooded his chest as he clung tighter. Chooka’s reassuring hand patted his back and head through the jacket as pleasant and reassuring cooing from Chooka calmed and coddled him. All the loneliness, the ridicule, the depression, the years of neglect, just faded away before them, as though they were twin suns risen, their brilliance melting away the frost that had gripped him for so long he had forgotten the warmth of compassion.
At that moment, he felt as safe as a babe in a mother’s arms. Those twin gazelles among the lilies, those fountains of ambrosia, those pillows of desire and comfort, they opened and healed a wound that had long since festered in neglect. They contained the hopes and dreams of many men and women, for they were the first things that provided such comfort, and a lifetime had been spent trying to find a way back to them. Many forms of magic have the power to heal, but nothing can compare to the healing power of boobs freely mashed into an eager and awaiting face. Visceral and surreal in equal measure, something long since dormant had awakened once again within him.
Alterez wanted to be loved, to be desired, but it warred with the unstoppable duo of his self-loathing and ego. Only now did he notice that, this whole time, none of the other voices had uttered even a single word, for they, too, were enthralled by this titan of comfort and compassion that held them all in her loving embrace. An eternity passed in such rapture, a single moment in time as brief as a wink, hour or seconds slipping away as nothing else mattered. Only vaguely did he notice they had stopped in the guildhall, the belated fact revealed to him by that familiar and lingering scent of the traces of his own cooking fading away.
And as all things must fade away, as the world must end and the stars flicker and sputter out as the cold and inevitable heat death of the universe impassively devours all, so too did his journey through the heavens with his goddess come to an end. Foul light flooded into his warm and dark enclosure, and tender yet forceful hands wrenched him away from his two favorite things in the world. Born again in the harsh reality of an uncaring world, he found himself deposited onto a chair in the kitchen of Chooka and her lover.
Well, perhaps lovers was a better way of saying it, for Skull was there with Chooka’s boy toy. Was he even twenty years old? Hard to tell, since human physiology is so inferior to the perfection that is the goblin form. Still, magnanimity demands lenience to such lessers, for humans were but the prototype race of the gods fumbling their way towards a more perfect being. A blink of the eye and the human man would be old and gray, with another blink, his bones carted down south.
His wits fully returned to him as he blinked his eyes awake a few times, Alterez glanced around the room, taking it in. A simple yet tasteful enough abode, but [Detect Pantry] revealed a barely passable spice rack that would make weaker chefs cry in anguish. Alterez had done more with less, so perhaps he would truly have to flex his skills as a [Line Cook] to prepare food worthy of his maker’s mark.
“So, what have I been shanghaied into?”
“A dragon hunt, my friend,” stated Alterez’s favorite bodyguard. “We need you to come along so we can rest assured you don’t tell anyone, plus your skills at butchering exceed my own. Scales, bone, meat, organs, the whole lot of it will fetch a pretty copper. You get ten percent of the sale for your help in this undertaking.”
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“Ah,” replied Alterez with a nod of understanding. “That explains the form I signed.” He turned to look at Chooka. “I am familiar with section 5-4, subsection 3 of the Guild Employee Handbook, Charter 1207(b) as passed into law by the Duke, and the Non-Encroachment of Affiliated Dominions Organization agreements concerning ‘Dragons and Other International Security Threats” outlined in Articles 37, 68, and 97(c), whereby the finder of a dragon lair has the right to a head start on a dragon hunt, provided proper authorities have been notified beforehand.”
Chooka smiled earnestly, and her eyes sparkled with a hint of interest at that. Years of studying rules and paperwork had all suddenly been worth it, for Alterez had finally impressed Chooka with his knowledge of the law and other regulations. Using it to his advantage to weasel his way out of one thing or another took second place compared to this prize.
“Wow, I’m proud of you, Alterez,” chimed in Chooka as she gave him a head pat. “Looks like you have been a little bookwyrm in studying dragons and the law.”
A small shudder of satisfaction rippled through his body as a tiny moan threatened to escape his throat, but Alterez managed to suppress it before things got awkward. Truly, he had died and gone to an afterlife far greater than what he had deserved.
“Oh yes, mommy!”
And now the voices were back, ruining things. More lewd and unwise advice followed, but dwindling reserves of willpower were called upon to ignore them and the siren’s song of all manner of illicit substances to suppress the peanut gallery.
“You are too kind,” he replied while enraptured by her touch. “Tell me how I can help.”
“Here’s the plan so far,” began his new best friend, the one who had opened the door to getting to know Chooka better.
----------------------------------------
Morning finally broke as Skull patiently waited for the sleepyheads to wake. Chooka and Alterez, both unblessed with any Skills or Abilities to limit the amount of rest required each night, had needed their beauty sleep. Her Lord and Master in earthly affairs was likewise awake, and not needing much sleep, they had spent their spare time going through their kits after the other two had dozed off after a night of planning and preparing. She did enjoy calling him by such lofty titles around others, just to tease him, because he didn’t like having such ownership, for lack of a better word, over her.
“Master, the others have awakened. My kit is prepared for our departure.”
“Very well then,” he replied with a blush, the reverence of her moniker for him having hit the mark. “Let’s get some breakfast and be off.”
Breakfast was available in ample measure, the cooking of Alterez always appreciated by all present. Sadly, breakfast was absent the normal shenanigans, but with Alterez present, they didn’t feel comfortable including him in such things, as he was more of a guest. Stuffed, energized, and ready to go, Skull stood waiting by the door. A peek outside confirmed that The Boys were still vigilant in their guard duty as one head turned to notice her. More heads followed, each eager for a snack, but as she had none on her, she just closed the door and turned back to the snack-givers.
Chooka stomped her way down the stairs, a heavy and rather large footlocker in her grasp. Her lithe frame belied her true strength, and though she had somewhat respectable muscle tone, Chooka could not hold a candle to Skull’s own chiseled body. However, a glance at Chooka’s unbuttoned vest that barely covered the discrepancy between their forms reminded Skull that Chooka had other physical merits. Not that Skull herself was lacking in that department, but Chooka had as large a bosom a woman of her figure could have without it being too much.
“My love, transport this for me, would you please?”
Master compiled by putting the foot locker in his pocket dimension while Chooka adjusted her clothes. She wore black combat boots, with long pants tucked in that had an olive drab color that would make her hard to see in the forest. Two belts hung on her waist, one side of each draping low down on different hips, each festooned with pouches and tools. Her vest remained unbuttoned, but it had the same color as her pants, and it likewise had as many pockets. How it remained fixed in place to provide decency when contested by such worldly delights that yearned to be unbridled Skull could not say, other than that probably some Skill was involved.
Chooka had also cut her hair, which normally hung down to the base of her head. The sides and back were cut almost to skin, but the hair from the top still hung down just the same, making it look thinner as one could catch glances of the buzzcut beneath. A red headband was tied around her forehead, the knot in the back, with the extra length hanging loose down to the base of her neck. Skull doubted she herself could pull off the look, especially with her pasty white skin, but Chooka made it look natural and rather beautiful all at once. Even Chooka’s red and blue skin did not clash with the color of her clothes somehow, which defied Skull’s admittedly limited understanding of fashion and how colors were supposed to “match” or “clash” as people liked to say.
Alterez wore typical “sneak” clothes, full of leather straps and hidden pouches to contain his many knives and other tools. A cloak concealed most of him when not in motion, and with the hood up, he could likely disappear in a heartbeat if one took one’s eyes off of him in the forest.
As for Master, he wore his normal black clothes with yellow trim, designed to compliment his normal draconic form of shiny, metallic yellow scales with black borders. He wore no weapons, but Skull knew from experience, whether it be in sparring or watching him in action, that he could draw a weapon from his pocket dimension faster than most [Fighters] or the like could clear a sword from scabbard.
Master went through their pre-adventure ritual, checking straps, buttons, and kits of everyone, making sure nothing was loose or could rattle. Chooka mostly behaved herself when it was her turn, only groping or forcing herself into position to be groped by him three times, which was more discipline than Skull had expected. Alterez just accepted Master pawing at him, looking like he didn’t know if he should open up more or swat Master away. With only a few discrepancies found and corrected, they set off outside.
“Behave now when we are gone,” Master commanded The Boys as he petted them and offered snacks. “I will be summoning you later, so be ready for combat when I do.” Heads bobbed rapidly in excitement and acknowledgement, which made Master laugh and smile in that beautiful way of his that made Skull feel mushy feelings inside. “This will be a serious fight, probably your toughest one yet, so be prepared.”
A literal chorus of understanding followed as The Boys sang a little song to Master, one of love and anticipation of a good scrap that led to snacks. With The Boys properly briefed of the day’s schedule, the party departed for an adventure. Skull took her place in Master’s shadow, while Chooka was carried princess-style in his arms. Alterez found his place sitting on Master’s shoulders, and collectively, it must have made a strange sight in the early morning as the trio of visible bodies made their way out of the city.
Before long they were clear of the city, and not even the gale generated by Master’s tremendous speed could flip open Chooka’s unflappable vest that stubbornly covered the tantalizing prize hidden beneath. Skull preferred the company of men, but even the straightest of women had second guesses as to their conviction as such when presented with Chooka’s romantic advances or shameless displays of her body. Perhaps some [Courtesan] Skills were at play, or maybe it was the power of perfect breasts, but Skull couldn’t help but stare at the sight instead of paying attention to the countryside and potential threats.
Before she knew it, Skull found herself back at the cabin, and a short time after that, at the border of the illusion dome.
“Everyone ready? Sound off,” commanded Master with confident authority - not overbearing or tyrannical, but clearly in command and in his element, their lives in his capable hands as he would be calling the shots. Everyone did so in turn, Skull through her bond to Master, and Chooka and Alterez via a telepathy Skill from Chooka that required physical touch to work.
Without further ado, Master removed the foot locker from storage, and from it Chooka removed a… a… weapon of some sort. Master had never seen this particular weapon before as far as Skull knew, but she could feel that he knew more or less what it was or what it did. Alterez looked intrigued, perhaps only suspecting what it was, but his inner hellion showed through as a too-wide and mischievous smile spread across his face, revealing his double rows of shark-like teeth. Whatever it was, it required a big pack on her back, connected to whatever the monstrosity of pipes and metal was via some metallic tube. A rather quiet metallic hum accompanied the tubes rotating as Chooka apparently tested that everything was in order. Master packed away the foot locker as quietly as could be, almost faster than Skull could track.
Satisfied, Chooka gave Master a nod, and together, the four of them stepped through the illusion. The sight of the same lake and the same sleepy drakes in their runed magic circles greeted them. Together, they made their way to the cave, keeping an eye out to see if the drakes stirred from their slumber, but none did. Now behind the waterfall and at the cave door, the true adventure was ready to begin.