When I arrived home, I found Chooka sitting at the table facing the door, a cup of tea before her, the steam rising from it indicating it was rather fresh and hot. Given that she was not prone to just idly sitting and waiting for me without a prank involved, I found the timing too convenient to be coincidence. Perhaps she had recently gained a Skill to locate me and thus knew I was arriving. She certainly wouldn’t tell me if she did, for that would spoil the fun of ambushing me with future shenanigans. Few were the secrets we kept from one another, but ones to keep things spicy were best left sleuthed by the other.
“Ah, my love, I have something for you. Come, sit, and see for yourself.”
She pushed the chair across from her out from the table that I may sit upon said chair, that grin of hers growing wider, the kind that let me know some kind of joke was coming. I took the seat, and Skull removed herself from my shadow, taking her seat as we sat in roughly a triangular formation. Skull removed her helmet and hooked it on the back of the chair where the pegs that supported the back jutted up a bit from the main bracing part.
Chooka took a box from her lap and slid it over to me. It filled up most of the palm of my hand and it was wrapped in some ornate paper. By the heft of it, something heavy remained underneath it all. I took my time playing it up, shaking the box to listen to what may be inside, only to hear no rattle. Carefully, I removed the paper as Skull and Chooka both leaned in. The paper came away to reveal a simple but well-crafted wooden box, some kind of elm if I were to guess.
The box had no handle or latch, so I opened it, facing a small amount of resistance as something internal to the box helped keep it shut so the lid would not open from its own weight. Confusion and wonder etched their telltale signs across my face as I pulled out a brain made of bronze. Around the edges of the box, nestled within the rather form-fitted padding, were tacks made of brass.
I set them out on the table, and upon noting the inscription on the brain, read it out loud.
“Brains, not bronze.”
If my memory served me well at the time, those were the words I had spoken earlier to Chooka. Not getting it, I knew this was the joke, but I couldn’t see why.
“I don’t get it,” I said to Chooka as she was all but bursting with laughter.
“It isn’t ‘bronze’, you goober, but ‘brawn’. The expression is ‘brains over brawn’”, she enunciated while she cackled in merciless mirth at my expense. “And, instead of ‘brass tax’, like paying taxes on the sale of brass, it is ‘brass tacks’, like the tacks here, used when pressed into a board to measure lengths of cloth from a bolt at prearranged distances from one another. Your mother was a tailor; how did you not know this?”
My face flushed red in embarrassment as all the nearby rocks I could crawl under and die undoubtedly displayed their ‘no vacancy’ signs.
“To be fair,” I started as I tried to finish crafting a good excuse, “Mother never measured anything through any means I could divine. She just cut things with perfect accuracy like some sort of machine. And secondly,” I continued as Skull howled in laughter and fell out of her chair and onto the floor, arms clenching her sides as she fought for breath, “I only heard that first expression like a few times in my life and the first guy I saw say it did so while palming the hilt of his bronze knife.”
Chooka stood from where she sat and walked over to me, sitting in my lap facing me while wrapping my head in her arms and hugging me close to her bosom.
“Sometimes you just do or say the most adorable things with the utmost confidence without understanding how wrong you are, and I just love that about you. I will tease you every time, but don’t ever change.”
She hugged me close, and I just let her warm embrace wash away my embarrassment, the only sound disturbing our bonding moment being Skull trying to right herself and get up off the floor, a process made more difficult with a rather inflexible zweihänder on her back making sitting up a challenging prospect. She managed to stand up after a few seconds, and with her laughter in check, she came behind me to join in her group hug.
“I kinda sorta love you too a bunch,” Skull muttered shyly, and as I witnessed via an [Observer] I kept above me to watch anyone who may try to sneak up on me, she also turned her gaze away as she blushed a bit. While certainly fearless, perhaps admitting her affection out loud toed the line of what she was comfortable with, despite the almost total lack of any sort of boundaries or privacy in everything else she shared with me through our empathetic bond. Maybe she showed little shame or embarrassment for everything else because nothing in her life mattered as much as her love for me. I made a note to think on that more and see if she should be promoted from a paramour, friend, and bodyguard to my second mistress.
“And I love the two with at least five sevenths of my heart. Just the two of you, me, and The Boys, that is all that really matters. Everyone else, they would be hard losses, but manageable, and all the things in our lives can be replaced.” I managed to buck Chooka over to just one leg as I reached behind me to grab Skull and spin her around the chair and into a sitting position on my other leg. “In all that I do, I consider how my actions would make you feel, and I try to plan everything so I would not bring sorrow into your lives. I hope we can continue to actively and honestly communicate and share with each other in the future, that you will correct me when I am wrong, even when I say silly things.” I pulled them both close into a firm embrace, on arm hugging each of them. “You are worth more to me than my pride. I can only hope that I am seen as worthy of the same in return.”
My [Overseer] caught me a glimpse of a tear or two running down Chooka’s face as she peppered me with little kisses and nuzzled me to reassure me, taking tender care not to gore me with her horns. Skull just grabbed my hand and held it to her chest in both of her hands, looking unsure of how to properly convey deeper affection than normal but clearly wanting to.
Things got more serious from there, and an hour later, we found ourselves in bed after bonding a little more closely with one another. Clearly, Chooka loves me, with no room for misunderstanding or disputing that fact. Skull has more of a strong crush on me, the seed of love clearly planted, but the roots having not burrowed deep yet. Towards each other, Skull and Chooka are more of friends with benefits, for without me to be the tie that binds, they would only hook up casually once in a while.
Chooka still had a slew of other lovers, and I knew that going into our relationship, but none of them could exhaust her endless supply of love and intimacy for me, so I saw no reason to contest that part of her life. Skull had literally not strayed more than a several hundred feet from me since we were bonded, and I knew full well that she had taken no other lovers outside of Chooka and myself. Not that I would begrudge her such an opportunity if she desired it, for she certainly is not my property and I am not very possessive of women in that way. I’d still gouge the eyes and limbs from sockets from anyone who tried to cause them harm, and I wouldn’t even so much as lose sleep over it, so don’t think I didn’t care for them deeply.
As we embraced one another in a double snuggle with me in the middle, I decided that this was a good time to get down to, ahem, brass tacks.
“Skull and I found an interesting and perhaps time-sensitive discovery today for which we need your sage advice, for we believe you to be a credible expert on such matters. We also want to know the gossip about the [Paladin] in town. I leave it to your choice as to which we should discuss first.”
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Maybe some would say I gave her the illusion of choice there by presenting her with only two options, neither of which involved not discussing such things, but I did not really mean to be manipulative in such a sneaky way. I trusted her in spirit and by her reputation that she would under no uncertain terms make it clear if she didn’t want to talk about it. Far from it, she propped up on her side while supported by her arm and eagerly started to fill me in on the juicy details.
“Something big is going down! A [Paladin] would not come to such a small city like Berkerin on a whim. I haven’t heard anything specific as to why he is here, but I have it on good authority from a friend who works in the temple of Juvumwambi that their [Paladin] will also be showing up soon.”
“Wait,” Skull interrupted. “Juvumwambi is the Dark God of Trust and Lies. What makes you think your source is credible?” Skull idly stroked her hand up and down my arm and shoulder as she voiced her concern, a simple gesture to show her continued passion for me outside of just getting laid.
“It took me a few attempts to word my queries in a way that he couldn’t wrangle out something deceptive. You know how the clergy of that god are, always trying to deceive without telling any factual lies, for they just can’t help it as it is as much an instinct as a tenant of their faith. But I did manage, and I have a few Skills that can help me discern the honesty of my paramours.” Chooka gave me a wink at that tidbit as she beamed me a smile, and I couldn’t help but smile in return while thanking my honest nature in dealing with her.
“I also heard other less credible rumors,” she continued. “Ones like how maybe the Theocracy of Ulsfarh is going to launch a full blown crusade against us after their failed invasion from almost two years ago. I have heard that some great cult lurks within the city or the nearby countryside and needs to be purged. I have heard that the [Demon King] has agents in the city, or that Demons themselves may be here, which are two completely different things,” she added for my benefit. Granted, I had heard children's tales about the Twelve and One Demons, but I lacked the fine details of how they were unrelated. Well, I know now that they are indeed related, but back then, most people didn’t know of any connection.
“I don’t think there is merit to those rumors or the dozens of others I have heard. The only exception was about how they may be forming a quorum for a conclave, but they would certainly be going well out of their way to do so. I think at most three or four of them are going to show up to join forces on some threat further away from here, because if there was a threat big enough to warrant more than one [Paladin] around here, we would know of it by now.”
Her grand exposition of the local rumor mill completed, she gave us about five seconds to ponder things before she prodded me with a light shove. “So, what did you find? Tell me!”
I snuggled into Skull as I prepared to share the story of my escapades in snooping, and Skull returned the sentiment by snuggling into me, ready to support me if I needed help in getting the details right.
“Deep in the forest, not far from my cabin in fact, I tracked those drug-dealing kobolds to a massive illusion. It must be two miles across if not more. Something about it made me want to not approach, as if I simply had better things to do with my time. When I walked through, I witnessed a massive lake, complete with a waterfall with a secret cave behind it. That cave has a stone door, so clearly something of note is there.”
“Do you think it is a wandering dungeon,” Chooka asked before I could continue my briefing.
“Possible, but doubtful,” I continued. “You see, there were five drakes in a roughly pentagram pattern near the edges of the illusion, each curled up asleep upon its own stone dais. Each dais had a magical circle with all the bells and whistles to mean they probably maintain the illusion as powered by the mana of the drakes. I saw no whelps or wyverns, so something fishy is going on. We thought you may know more about what peerage of dragon may live there.”
Skull’s demeanor turned deadly serious in a heartbeat as she focused on the news.
“That is no small finding, and it has to be reported to the Guild immediately.” She bolted out of bed, scrambling from one of many binders she kept on the bookshelf by the wall in our bedroom. “Fortuitous, for I just so happen to have the proper paperwork on me right here.”
I felt Skull flinch away and then hug me a little closer at the mention of paperwork, but, undaunted, I hazarded a question.
“Does this check off a lifelong desire of yours, one of your deepest fantasies, to fill out such a form after having bedded two lovers to complete satisfaction?”
Chooka turned to me with a grin plastered on her face as she finished fishing the forms out of her binder. “More than you could possibly know,” she supplied in answer.
Forms in hand, she grabbed a trusty fountain pen from the nightstand and sat cross-legged in bed, some Skill of her keeping the paper rigid despite a dearth of any real support from a desk or clipboard. I watched her eyes bounce back and forth as she scanned the form while she explained things.
“Basically, the Guild understands the reward and benefit of such a find and how those who discover it want to keep it a secret so they can get first dibs at it. However, it also represents a security issue to the city if you go off to claim it without telling anyone about it and die horribly. This form allows you to inform the Guild about it and get a full day head start without the details being revealed to the other Adventurers. Even without any bounty being placed on it, they would naturally all leap at the chance to do it pro bono for the bragging rights and the loot of the hoards. The only problem is we need two Guild members to sign off on it, and neither of you can because you are not Staff, but rather Adventurers, and also because you are the two who saw the dragons in question.” She glanced up at me before driving the point home. “We will need to find someone else who is Staff to sign off on this and quickly if we don’t want to be in hot water.”
“Serideth,” Skull and I supplied as one.
“Hmm, a good candidate, but she has taken a few days off to do gods knows what. I don’t have the means to reach her, especially on short notice.”
“So we need someone we can trust, that we can locate, who won’t ask too many questions, and will go along with signing this form instead of running off to tell their friends,” Skull asked with a slightly puzzled expression.
“That about sums it up,” confirmed Chooka.
As I pondered who I would pick, Skull’s face lit up with an answer.
“Alterez! He has a crush on you, Chooka, and has experience in discretion on sensitive matters from his time scoring drugs. If you ask him nicely and show a little cleavage, he will say yes. Or, if you push him over and put your boot down on him and demand he obey like a good little worm, that will probably also work, as I am pretty sure he is into that sort of thing.”
I rolled in place to turn back and look at Skull directly, not trusting my [Observer] to confirm that she wasn’t pulling my leg. She looked completely honest at that, and I learned something that day that I could not unlearn.
“Oh, I am well aware of how that second option will work on him,” replied Chooka with a grin as I witnessed a plan forming as her inner helion crept into her visage. “I have had him wrapped around my little finger for some time now; perhaps it is best to put it to use.”
I am not sure what level of willpower she possessed to not rub her hands together while cackling maniacally, but she clearly found her winner for the late-night document signing. Rising from the bed, she began dressing for the occasion, with long boots that went up her legs to halfway past her knees, each one laced up the whole way and sporting stiletto high-heels. She also applied some underwear that was more straps and hooks than anything covering, but it did cover the bare minimum she needed. She wore a corset that lifted her ample bosom so as to be enticing, and I must admit that it did the trick as Skull and I stared in wonder. Lastly, she put a trench coat on top of all of it, probably more for the shocking reveal than for modesty. She would have had no qualms in walking around in the outfit underneath, so it must have some purpose in her plan.
“You two wait here. I will go pick up Alterez and have him sign the forms. I will then drop off the forms and bring him back here so we can plan our dragon hunt.”
Her plan garnered no backtalk or dissent, and, satisfied with her preparations, she departed in subdued haste, her movements quickly closing the distance to the door without looking rushed. Given how she was around seven feet tall, her strut could outstride most anyone in town, so she didn’t need to hurry.
Skull and I, left unsupervised, cuddled while we waited, knowing we would need to eventually get dressed when Chooka returned with Alterez, lest he get the wrong idea of why we wanted him here. But until then, we simply enjoyed the company of each other’s embrace for a few moments longer before the reality of our upcoming escapades would need to be faced. Such was bliss.