“I’ll take a half dozen of all my usual products, plus the same amount of this new stuff you are peddlin’. I’m sure the broker informed you boys as to what I came here to buy,” started Alterez with his turn of negotiations. “How's 15 gold for the sum of it sound?”
Pompadour, as I will call him, crossed his arms as he stared at Alterez as if in contemplation of the offer. I honestly had no idea if the proposed offer was reasonable as I have not ever purchased such merchandise before. Pompadour and company are presumably just the plugs who deliver product to the final customer, with there being a middleman broker who people go to when they want to place an order. The broker also handles meet locations, many of the lookouts, bribes, and all the other necessities that allow the underbelly to operate smoothly when gangs rise and fall all the time. Most gangs don’t have the proper Skills to manage such a network to ensure everything stays secret and to give most people plausible deniability, so this setup had worked well for well over a century.
“Cha, ya gotta be kiddin’ me with that offer. That would be fine for everything except this new stuff. It would be an extra 10 gold for that.”
Both explicitly avoided direct names to anything. Dragon’s Kiss, as you may recall, is the ‘new stuff’ being referred to. The haggling continued for a minute, and while I paid attention, something else distracted me. Heavy footfalls, the stench of ale on breath, and some muttering were easily detected thanks to my sensory Skills. Four dwarves were approaching from the outside, and I focused my perception on an [Observer] I had placed upstairs. They appeared to be miners fresh back from their stint out in the mountains, and given that they approached the door to the wand shop, they most likely were looking for some party supplies of the illicit variety.
Thankful that my constant vigilance, or perhaps paranoia, had paid off, I put my hand on Alterez’s shoulder before crouching down to whisper the news into his ear. He nodded in thanks before addressing the kobolds.
“And here I thought we had something special between us. It seems you invited a few more of your friends.”
Pompadour blanched at the news as his confidence in the situation faded. “Excuse me for one moment please while I consult my business associates.” he nabbed the Urchin kobold and called a huddle. I overheard a few insults and cursing as Urchin no doubt received a stern reprimand.
Loud thumps announced the descent of the dwarves as they delved deeper into the stairway towards the six of us. I moved Alterez aside to the right corner and stood between him and the doorway in the event the dwarves were feeling surly and belligerent.
The four of them barreled into the room without any concern for the occupants being in the middle of a transaction. They wore overalls, boots, a hard hat, and each had a pickaxe at their hip. Arms bigger around than a kobold’s body were clear for all to see as none of their shirts had sleeves.
“E-yellow, we’re budging in front of youse, don’t you know that then,” The lead dwarf said in the typical thick accent of those of his kind that were born out in the sticks. “Right, boyce, we wants to buy off of some dat dere Dragon’s Kiss, dun-chya-no,” he exclaimed to the kobolds as he dismissed Alterez and I entirely.
Seizing the initiative, I took two steps towards the dwarves, thumbs hooked into my belt, I gave my best impression of appearing casually annoyed. “You lads have more ale than manners. Go back upstairs and wait your turn before I make you.”
Skull channeled some of her Skill for intimidation through her connection to me as she lurked in my shadow. The kobolds inched closer to the wall behind them as Pompadour gulped nervously, hoping to go unnoticed in the altercation that may break out. Sadly, the dwarves, stubborn and boozed up, appeared to be made of sterner stuff as they remained stalwart in the face of my threat.
“Ishka,” replied the lead dwarf as he and the others turned to face me, a steely gaze in their eyes. “Oi, I knows you. Yoozda guy who won dat dere turdament aways back. I lost a munce pay cause you dint lose. Yooz nuthin’ special, and boat-a-yuz be smart to leave ‘for I lose me temper or we’s gonna give ya a good drubbin.”
“Oh for sure der, bud!”
“Dern-tootin, far as dat goes!”
“Ya sure you betcha!”
The dwarves appeared to be in agreement, but I stood firm, conceding the initiative to them to throw the first punch. Not that I had been idle by any means, for the whole room had been covertly covered in traps thanks to my Skills. To be fair, I started doing so the moment I entered the basement. Activating my Skills, at least from my own personal experience, doesn’t require any movements, speaking, or other overt activities. There would be no outward sign of my activities to such an endeavor unless the Skill itself required some action, such as some sword Skill making you really good at stabbing things would require you to have a sword in hand while doing a stabbing motion towards some poor chap.
Traps have been my main means of combat since shortly after I started my life as an Adventurer. They were invisible circles of magic placed just beneath a surface, such as a floor, which I can slowly slide around as needed. They are only revealed once triggered, typically through touching them or remote detonation on my part, and I make a habit of placing them wherever I go. I can simply keep them unarmed until a time of my choosing, and this situation has devolved into one of those times. I invested heavily in a whole plethora of trap skills, such that I possessed different payloads of both highly lethal traps and those designed more to just incapacitate. The latter are the ones I used here, for I didn’t fancy complicating affairs and drawing attention by mixing dead bodies with a drug deal. Taking them all out swiftly would be easy, but I had another goal in mind that required the fight to drag out.
“Well, are you gonna throw up your hands or just stand there and admire my beauty?”
That did the trick, for the angry and now irate dwarf took a swing at me, which I easily sidestepped. I move far faster than a chunk of rock deep in a mine, and a drunk dwarf would find his prowess impaired besides. I continued my motion from my evasion action, grabbing his extended arm while jabbing him hard a little lower than the armpit and slightly towards his back. Each race has a slightly different layout of muscles and nerves, and while it may not have much of an effect on a human, the dwarf would soon feel his shoulder go numb and somewhat unresponsive. In the same motion I raised my knee into his side to shove him across the room towards the table.
The other three dwarves wasted no time dawdling, and unperturbed by their leader being introduced to the floor, they came in swinging as well. I activated a trap between us, and a great burst of air exploded from the floor and sent the trio sailing upwards and backwards. Their hardhats performed admirably to protect their noggins from the ceiling, but were found wanting and out of their depth for much protection to the rest of their bodies as they slammed into the far wall.
The kobolds, perhaps out of fear or wrongly timing an opportunity to escape, bolted for the door, but the trio of dwarves were already back on their feet and full of piss and vinegar for round two. The dwarves, stout and solid, would do terrible things to the comparatively small and fragile bodies of the kobolds who happened to find themselves on a collision course of the second charge. Heedless of the danger and perhaps focusing only on the exit, the kobolds took no evasive action. Inwardly cursing their stupidity but praising my luck, I lunged forward to grab the four idiots in a bear hug, promptly leaping backwards and onto the wall.
During that whole maneuver, I had changed the loadout of a trap upon the wall there to one that could redirect my momentum. Normally, I used such a trap to trip enemies, but this time I used it to launch me and the now screaming kobolds across the room and more or less back to where they had started.
I lightly tossed them into the corner, but not before activating a Skill to place tracking markers on each of them. I had hopes that they would eventually lead me back to where Dragon’s Kiss was made, and this fight had provided the perfect excuse to reach out and touch them without it being weird or suspicious. I turned just in time to catch the lead dwarf’s shoulder charging into me, slamming me against the wall. I could have avoided it, but I wanted to put on a good show. I felt a few ribs crack as the wall behind me shattered in a large circle around me from the force of the blow. My potent self-healing abilities would tend to my wounds before the fight even ended, but I doubt the wall had such enchantments to affect such repairs on its own sorry state.
The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.
The lead dwarf wrapped his arms around me, not in a lover’s embrace, but in an attempt to grapple me so the rest of his crew could dogpile me. I feigned some degree of incompetence by struggling in the grapple, encouraging and emboldening the other three to do as their leader no doubt intended. Predictably, they charged in, each full of fury as they roared some warcry in an accent too thick to understand.
That is when my trap activated. Sticky strands of shadow sprung from the floor to ensnare all the dwarves now so conveniently corralled into one location. The four of them, caught in my web of umbral strands, found themselves on the receiving end of a Skill of the Shadow school. Entropic tendrils drained the energy out of the dwarves as they fought vainly against the darkness, their struggles only ensnaring them further. Little by little they lost steam, and within ten seconds, the four of them were out cold.
The kobolds cowered in the corner, clutching at each other for comfort and as possible meat shields against any unfortunate kinetic events. I withdrew the pickaxes from the unconscious bodies of the dwarves, and facing the kobolds so they could see me in action, I bent each pickaxe so that they more resembled grappling hooks than mining equipment.
“So,” I started now that the alternative diplomacy had come to an end, “I believe my associate had said that 15 gold was the proper price. Best make that ten for the inconvenience of being double booked and his confidentiality being compromised. Go ahead and knock that down to five because of how he was nearly grievously harmed. You best make that free of charge considering I saved your sorry asses from being made into paste.”
The kobolds all bobbed their heads up and down in agreement as fast as their little muscles would allow. One of their number opened his trench coat wide and started removing small bags from various pockets, tossing each in turn to an awaiting Alterez who had wandered over to us. I glared at the kobold as the tossing of bags stopped, clearing my throat at the same time. A few more bags found themselves tossed to Alterez at that point, and satisfied, turned to leave. I turned back when at the door to address the kobolds.
“You lot clean up this mess. Your broker messed up big time by letting this happen, so I expect that Alterez will be given favorable terms for his future dealings as compensation.”
I did not wait around to listen to their grateful platitudes, opting instead to get out of here before our commotion attracted any unwanted attention. Alterez followed close behind, and once out of the shop, we slipped into a dark alley and continued to hightail it out of there in a different direction from whence we arrived.
“So that was an unexpected twist,” started Alterez suddenly as we made our way on a circuitous route that would eventually lead us back to the guildhall. “It seemed to me like they were looking for any excuse to pick a fight. I am glad that I brought you along,” he continued as he let out a nervous laugh. He shakily fumbled with a bag for something to calm his nerves, no doubt.
“That’s one gold for your protection. That is one more gold for protecting your associates. One final gold for negotiating a discount and extra merchandise,” I stated back flatly, my attention focused on looking for any pursuers.
“Tsk. Well, you did manage to get me a significant discount, so sure. I have heard that you like to itemize each and every part of your payment, but I suppose any manner of neurotic behaviors are common amongst you Adventurers.”
After consuming some calming substances, he fished out three gold coins from a pouch and handed them to me, each one dropped into my hand one at a time. I tucked them away in a secret coin pouch of my own. These were payments for individual deeds of note, each one distinct and separate. I would add these to my hoard, each one never to find itself in circulation as common currency as long as I had a say in things.
My [Hoard], a set of Skills devoted to collecting things, was one of quality, and the circumstances of how I added to it mattered. I couldn’t just obtain a chest full of gold and dump it on top; that was for a quantity-based [Hoard], which was mutually exclusive with my own style. These would be put on display with the rest of my hoard, available for any foolhardy thief with more guts than sense that would dare to rob me. The benefits of [Hoard] scaled with how well known were its contents and how accessible they were, so squirreling it away in a pocket dimension was out of the question. I had to do that once when moving in together with Chooka into a house I purchased and I felt more than just under the weather from even that short stint of being cut off from its boons.
We made our way silently through the night, but I could feel the tension building up within Alterez. He wanted to say something and struggled to muster the nerve. I would probably never have noticed without my [Social] Skills, the way a few muscles tensed in his shoulders, the uneven breathing that quickened and slowed, the way his eyes darted around and glanced at me from time to time. It wasn’t the drugs, but some hidden desire. It fell upon me to give him a push.
“That was quite the little escapade we had tonight. I feel like we both learned a lot,” I said to break the silence.
“Yeah,” he laughed, a little nervous as an all too wide smile grew on his very round head. “I think it would be fun to do it again sometime. All I do is cook and try to escape my inner demons; it would be nice to get out and live a little.” He turned his gaze up at me, puppy dog eyes being amplified by the drooping ears and the oozing of hope that I could detect from him.
“I won’t dismiss you out of turn, but I wonder what benefit you will provide when I go on an adventure. Everyone has to be able to pull their weight in some way.”
“I can cook for you and your party, and the food I make can provide you with potent buffs to your abilities,” he exclaimed enthusiastically, his arms and features animated to go along with his narration. “I can butcher anything you kill, far better than what you have brought me. I know a great deal about all manner of flora and fauna and their value, and who would want them. I can sneak into places, especially those too small for you to fit. I may not look it, but I’m pushing a thousand years old. Well, I haven’t been alive in a body all that time, but I have still witnessed many things and know a great deal of history and cultures. I won’t hold you back, I just can’t contribute in direct combat to the level that you can. Just consider me a support specialist, and I will be a force multiplier for you.”
“I’m sure The Boys would vote in favor of you since you could provide them with snacks. Next time I get a job that I think would be a good fit for you to come along, I will let you know.”
Alterez beamed a hearty smile up at me in gratitude. We chatted idly until we arrived back at the general area of the guildhalls. Alterez bid me good night before he slunk off into the night towards the guild dorms, which is where he still lived despite long since having the means and qualifications to move out.
I casually strolled into a dark alley. I activated the extent of my Skills to boost my stealth, perception, and speed, and taking to the rooftop of a nearby building, I quickly and soundlessly backtracked to see if I had been tailed. I found signs of no one, which either meant I had exceptionally skilled individuals following me or no one followed me at all. Feeling a little dissatisfied with not finding a tail, I made my way home.
I quietly leapt the gate and onto my property. Four heads snoozed quietly, each one resting on the bank of a pond. The Boys must have been tuckered out after a day of helping their Papa, for not a one of them stood guard. I would have to reprimand them for such carelessness later. They were perhaps a little spoiled, living in a city where they did not need constant vigilance to survive predation, and it showed. That would have to wait until another time, for I was already late in coming home thanks to my job with Alterez.
I snuck in through the back door so as to not to wake the hydra. Like a thief in the night, I quietly made my way upstairs, opening the door to the bedroom and stepping inside. Not a light had been on in the house, so I had assumed Chooka had gone to bed. Indeed, a figure lay in our bed, nestled under the blankets.
Two arms suddenly grabbed me from behind, and before I could react, I found myself flying through the air as my assailant body-slammed me into the bed. I had fallen for a cunning ruse, for Chooka had waited for me in the blind spot where the door opened into the room with the ‘figure’ in the bed being nothing more than pillows under blankets. Firmly entrapped in her nuzzling embrace, I contemplated my situation.
“Just how long have you been keeping it secret that you had such strong stealth Skills that even I could not detect you. You must have been planning this since forever.”
“Oh, you know, since after our first date. I had been waiting by the door for an hour, waiting to spring my trap on such an unsuspecting victim,” she gloated as she squeezed me tighter, her entire body wrapped around mine from behind.
“Well, you caught me, you fiend! What do you intend to do with me?”
Chooka maneuvered herself to be on top of me while pinning me down, a victorious smile proudly plastered upon her all-too-smug but exceptionally beautiful face.
“Oh, my darling,” she whispered into my ear. “I’m going to have my way with you.”
Indeed she did, with Skull coming out of my shadow to join in at one point. The whole thing could have been the ‘plot’ of one of those bodice-ripper novels that lonely housewives are fond of. All just another typical night when in a relationship with a [Courtesan], much to the envy of countless men and women who gave me harsh glares when they saw me with their goddess. Happy is the life I lead.