“WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
“Stop screaming and tell me if we’re going in the right direction!”
I almost wondered how I ended up in this ridiculous situation. Then I recalled it was of my own doing.
“Haah…” I shook my head.
After I refused to walk for over a week, I had Nedror chop off a tree trunk with his sword then chop off all its branches and leaves. Then, with [Force Lord], I made the trunk float, and with a little bending of force mana to my will, we had more than enough forward thrust to fly forward.
“How long till we get to… what was it called?” I asked.
“Nonyuhr! And it shouldn’t take us longer than a few hou-”
Before Nedror could finish, a powerful force struck the bottom of the flying log, splitting it in half and throwing both of us off it!
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Nedror screamed as he flailed his arms wildly.
As both of us fell, I quickly looked over the ground beneath us and quickly found the source of the attack – an elf with a drawn bow and a furious expression.
I swore.
“Just what I needed, didn’t I?!”
***
“Ha tel'quiet, Hahlorkh!” The elf yelled as she floated in mid-air.
Language Learning Process – Neo-Elven 17.89%
“Are these pieces good enough?” I asked.
“Hmm, while any proper dwarf could shape them better, I suppose they’ll do for a game of Dwarfsieg.” Nedror answered.
“Pellinta at tel'quiet sunti sal Kaweh lor va!” the elf screamed at us.
“Oh, shut up, will you?!” Nedror yelled back.
“Can you believe this elven wench? She won’t stop yelling my ears off!”
Ignoring the Dwarf’s blatant hypocrisy, I set down the pieces and prepared for a few rounds of this ‘Dwarfsieg’ game.
***
“Blast this, I lost again!” Nedror said, flipping over the board in a temper tantrum.
I said nothing but gave him a cheeky grin, which only made him angrier. In the meantime, the Elf never stopped yelling at us.
Language Learning Process – Neo-Elven 100%
Neo-Elven Language Learning Complete; You can now speak, read, and write in Neo-Elven!
“-e now, you cowards! I will not let you defile me alive!” the elf screamed.
“Who the hell would want to lay a finger on a wench like you anyway?! You don’t even have a newborn’s beard!” Nedror yelled back at the elf.
The elf’s jaw dropped.
“Get some damned meat on your bones and chop off some off that height while your at it, and maybe then you can come back and pretend anyone wants to bed you, you snobby, tree-shagging, ape’s asscrack!”
I whistled.
While I had no idea what half of that meant or how putting the elf in bed was supposed to be something she wanted, the dwarf’s vulgar tongue clearly threw off the elf.
For some reason, though, the elf’s face was flushed red.
“Y-y-your barbaric words have no effect on me, d-d-dwarf!” she yelled back at him before turning to me.
This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.
“And you, witch, let me go right this instant!”
“If I let you down, you’re just going to attack us.” I shrugged.
The elf looked at me with a weird expression.
“F-first, you kill my sister, t-then you conspire with a dwarf, and after that, you enact a p-plan to capture and do unspeakable things to me. J-just get it over with, already!” she said with a strange grin on her face.
“Ah.” Nedror said, with a blank expression on his face.
“She’s one of those people.”
Ignoring Nedror’s cryptic statement, I questioned the elf.
“I am not conspiring to harm you in any way! And wait a minute, what do you mean kill your sister?!” I asked incredulously.
“Seriously?! You’re literally wearing her armor!” the elf yelled.
My eyes widened.
“Oh.”
***
“So, let me get this straight.” The elf said.
“You’re telling me a bunch of Kobolds killed my sister, ate her corpse, and walked away while you just happened to be walking around nearby naked and in need of armor?!”
I shrugged.
“That’s exactly what I am saying.”
“Bahahahaha! Worry not, you snob, we’re all degenerates here!” Nedror laughed.
“H-how dare you lump me with you!” the elf yelled in outrage, though a hint of desperation shone through her objections.
“Will you two stop antagonizing each other for even a single moment?!” I half-begged.
““No.”” they both answered as one.
***
“My name is Lyra Kelleth. A pleasure.”
“Well met, Lyra. Forgive the insensitive question, but you don’t seem very distraught over your sister’s demise. It doesn’t add up with you attacking us.” I asked.
“Oh, I am angry. I am just not angry at you anymore. I wasn’t on good terms with my sister either, but honor demands I take revenge on her killers.” Lyra answered.
Huh.
“I see. As much as I would like to stay and chat with you more, Nedror and I are on our way to a nearby dwarven town.” I said, dusting off my leggings.
Lyra tilted her head ever so slightly.
“…Why does an elf like you need to go to a Dwarven town?”
Before I could clarify I wasn’t an elf, Nedror opened his big, fat mouth.
“Bahahahaha! There’s no way I am letting this lass wear inferior Elven gear when she can procure superior Dwarven equipment!”
Lyra’s temple bulged with veins.
“You dare?!”
I buried my face in my hands.
***
“In that case, why not make a bet?” Lyra said.
“Instead of going to your little dwarf hamlet, we can go instead to Akaross. It’s a large, interspecies, neutral city, and we can let Kiara herself compare the quality of the gear made by both elven and dwarven craftsmen. It’s closer than any dwarven settlement too.”
Nedror narrowed his eyes.
“You want me to set foot in a den of snakes filled with race traitors?! Are you sane?!”
Lyra rolled her eyes.
“If not wanting to butcher everyone who isn’t a member of your race means being a race traitor, then I am fine being one. I am not asking you to take up residence there, dwarf.” Lyra scoffed before widening her eyes.
“Oh, I get it! You’re just chickenshit, aren’t you? Afraid of losing my bet?”
I raised an eyebrow at that.
‘There’s no way even Nedror is falling for such obvious ba-’
“Huh?! Who are you calling chickenshit, you ore-damned pollen dumpster?!”
“P-p-pollen dumpster?!” Lyra stuttered, face flushed once more.
“If you lose the bet, you’ll kneel down before me and acknowledge the superiority of dwarven crafts over elven ones 100 times!”
“K-kneel? 100 times?!”
I had absolutely no idea what was going on, with Nedror’s weird grin and Lyra’s embarrassed face.
‘Do these two hate each other or not…?’
“I-if you lose the bet, you’ll take every piece of gear you recommended, buy it, and shove it up yours!” Lyra yelled back.
Nedror laughed.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time, elf! The bet is on!”
“Are you two done yet? I don’t have all day!” I asked, exasperated.
“We are. By the way, do you want in on our bet? We can change the rules to fit you in.” Nedror said.
I waved him off.
“I didn’t even understand most of what you two were talking about – entering a bet like that is a terrible idea.”
Nedror looked at me incredulously.
“What is there not to understand? It’s perfectly clear what exactly is going on.”
Lyra looked confused for a moment before she paled.
“Kiara. Sorry if this is out of nowhere, but are you an adult member of your species…?”
Frowning at the strange question, I shook my head.
“No, I am a year and a half old. My race reaches adulthood at 20 years of age.”
Lyra’s face paled further, and this time, Nedror joined her.
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“No, no, not at all!” Lyra said vehemently.
“…Do us a favor, Kiara, and forget literally everything we’ve said in front of you so far. It’s all nonsense anyway!” Nedror said nervously.
I raised an eyebrow and shrugged.
Weirdos.
***
“Finally, we made it. Sweet, sweet earth!” Lyra said, falling face first into the dirt and hugging the grass.
I landed the remains of the log we first traveled with before looking in the direction of Akaross, the allegedly multi-racial city in the distance.
“I am convinced, Kiara! I am definitely going to commission someone to make a flying machine when I go back home!” Nedror guffawed.
“I can’t believe anyone sane would travel like this!” Lyra shuddered.
“Eh, you get used to it.” I shrugged.
“Anyway, shall we get going?” I asked.
Lyra got up from the ground and sighed.
“Let’s go. I’d like to get divination charms from Akaross while we’re at it; finding those bloody Kobolds will take much longer otherwise.”
“Hmph. If you had any sense, you’d rent a dwarven scout automaton instead. Much more reliable than your fancy schmancy ‘charms,’ or whatever you call them.” Nedror taunted.
“Just shut up and follow me, damn it!” I yelled.
The trip into Akaross hadn’t even started, and I was already exhausted with this pair of idiots.