"Is this a recurring thing now Medic?" You asked him with a tired smile.

"If jou vant it to be," he answered, smiling as well.

"Why do I see you? I've never had a soul experience like this before. Why now?"

"Vell, vhen people get stressed, zheir dreams can be a stress reliever. Technically, jou could call zhis a hallucination or simply jou just talking to jourself. Does zhat answer jour question?" He sat facing towards you, one leg hanging off of the bed and the other crossed. You were sitting up with your lower back on the pillow. Your mental exhaustion from the day became like a heavy fog over the room.

"It actually does. How did you know the answer?"

"Zhe answer is zhe best way jour mind can explain it. At least, fo zhe moment." You nodded, staring at the floor. Your eyes traced every wooden plank and every line you could see. "Vhat's on jour mind today?"

"The usual really." In your peripheral vision, you saw Medic's eye widen as he seemed taken aback.

"Care to inform me vhat zhat is?"

"I mean, I feel as if I'm in a constant loop of 'I don't have friends my own age anymore,' 'Could I trust these practical strangers while I have my issues with it,' 'I want to grow up and be proactive in my relationships, but it's really hard and it could be too big of an obstacle,' and of course 'What the hell did I sign myself up for?' I don't have answers to the questions that need to be solved and it's just a big mess."

"Vell, um, vhy do jou feel as if jou can't trust zhem?"

"I barely know them, they're adults, ... I'm afraid of messing up when I talk to them. I've already looked like a crybaby multiple times. 'Cause you know that's great for a soldier. I care about what they think of me probably a lot more than I should. I know they care, but can I really be a team player like this? I just want to flip a switch in my brain and just act more friendly, but every time I try, it's like a habit for me to just shrink back into my shell."

"It's a lot to get used to. Besides, haven't jou considered zhat maybe zhey think highly of jou? Zhey like jou enough zhat zhey aren't treating jou poorly after jou supposedly showed zhem jour bad side, ja?"

"Yeah, that's true. Except for maybe Medic." You smirked up at him.

"I'm not sure whether to be offended by zhat or not." You both laughed together, but it quickly dwindled and died out.

"Look, I don't understand why I can't trust them despite them being so, well, accepting."

"Vould jou trust zhem more if zhey vanted nozhing to do vith jou?"

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"Well, no I suppose I wouldn't."

"Zhen try to trust zhem! Zhey obviously care a lot about jou. Just try spending more time vitth zhem."

"Right, right. I will." You looked him in the eyes and gave a half-smile, nodding.

"Good. I know it's only been a day, but has anyzhing changed vith jour Medic?"

"Not really, he's the same old jerk." You laughed, and he nodded with a small frown. You took note of that. "Like you said, it's only been a day."

"No, jou're right."

"On another topic, do you think my friends will ever talk to me again? ...Wow, that sounded really depressing."

"I'm not certain, but if zhey are really jour friends, zhey will contact jou."

"You're right. Honestly, while I was looking through our old conversations, they seemed really... immature. I feel like I've grown up a lot in these past few days."

"I vouldn't disagree vith jou."

A long pause entered your conversation. You both just seemed to look each other up and down and glanced around the room. This is so weird, but it isn't terrible. He's like a different person, but we share a lot of the same things. He's a different perspective that I always had but never used. You sighed. Then, you were snapped back out of your thoughts by the one thing you've wanted to talk about. It was your biggest problem: yourself.

"Honestly, Medic, I can't help but feel as if this whole fighting thing wasn't a good idea. If I'm glossing over the stress of handling battles and school work at the same time, I'm not sure if I can be ready for this. I feel so lost, dazed, confused. I know we've talked through it, but Medic I don't think I can do this. I don't know if I'll be able to bring myself to trust these people..." Your voice caught in your throat as you tried to continue.

When I look back at my experiences so far, all I see is failure after failure. I see mistakes ridden all over the place, and I can't help feeling like I'm just going to mess everything up again. I decided to leave my family and friends behind, which resulted in no more contact with my friends and my Dad refusing to speak to me. That was my livelihood for most of my life! I've treated my teammates like shit so far. I even killed Medic once and then refused to apologize! Then, even when he tried to talk to me, when everyone tried to be there for me, I ran from them. Heavy had to catch and hold me still just to see the problems I was creating! I've run from all my problems and I've continued to push everyone I can talk to away. I feel disgraceful and ashamed! I feel like shit! I have become so exhausted that I practically passed out! What is wrong with me Medic? Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I just learn and be a better person!" Your face was burning and you were full on crying at this point. Everything that you deemed to be terrible were be plummeted at you. You were on the cusp of sobbing uncontrollably. The mere thought of not being able to control yourself made you more frustrated. You never control yourself! That's your problem! What have you done?

You felt a hand being placed on your shoulder in a stern, yet gentle way. It was Medic snapping you out of your tantrum. What a baby.

"(Y/n), listen to me. I know this happened, and I know jou've done a lot of zhings. Vhat's important is zhat zhey've forgiven jou, I've forgiven jou, and I'm sure jour Dad vill come around. I need for jou to forgive jourself. I vant to see jou happy. Zhey vant to see jou happy and ready for battle. Jou need jou to allow jourself to be happy. Forgive jourself so jou can move forward. Move forward and be more trusting and make every encounter jou have a better one zhan zhe last."

A long silence followed.

"Medic, can I be honest with you about something?"

"Of course."

"I-I think that hug we sh-shared was one of t-the single most comforting experiences I've ha-had in my life. It feels r-really awkward to admit that, but it's true." You fiddled with your bed sheets. "I g-guess that would say a-a lot about my relationships, huh?"

"I might, but it also might not." He nodded and cleared his throat. "I apologize for not asking jou zhe first time, however... vould jou like another one?"

"I-I really would. I think I've cried more in these last few days than I ever have y'know?"

"I know."

You both stood up and wrapped your arms around each other. You closed the gap between each other. He placed his arms over your shoulders and had one hand rub small circles on your back while the other held the back of your head. You had your arms wrapped around him and had pressed your face into his shirt. You were softly crying and he soothed you.

"Shhh shhh. It'll be alright I promise. I'm here for jou, stop zhose tears. I won't leave jou."

You were slowly calming down, feeling cared for and protected. It was something more than anyone had ever given you. You wanted to enjoy this while it lasted.

-+-

You woke up with tears running down your cheeks.