You walked back with Demo, feeling both content and satisfied for the first time in a long time. He moved the hand on your shoulder to lay around your shoulders. He smiled down at you. You looked up at him, smiling and feeling a tear prick at your eye as you realized you quite possibly have a genuine friend. You welcomed the gesture, laughing slightly in such a blissful moment. I feel as if nothing could ruin my day!

You both crossed into the hallway leading to the living room and kitchen. Engie passed in front of you two and saw you walking together. He shifted a bit, looking pleasantly surprised. He waved at you and smiled. You giggled and waved back.

"What's for lunch?" You found yourself asking. That's kind of weird, I'm usually silent. Engie let out a short laugh.

"Well, Ah'd have ta say that Ah don't know darlin'," he answered honestly. "Pahro was cookin' today, so how about we go find out?" He pointed to the kitchen and waited for you and Demo to catch up to him. Demo let your shoulders go and you kept your smile on your face. You walked in front of them, but you heard Engie and Demo having a conversation behind you. Going against your usual nature, you decided not to listen in. I'm only concerned with lunch today. I don't want anything else to worry about.

Almost everyone was gathered there, except for Scout and Medic. Still, you grabbed a couple of slices of pizza Pyro made and sat down at your usual spot. You thanked Pyro and he gave you a happy thumbs up. Oh that's awesome. This whole moment awesome. You couldn't help but notice everyone snatching glances at you and murmuring to each other. It put you slightly on edge, but you decided to push it aside. Maybe they're just happy for me! Yeah..., or their confused as to... why I'm so happy after what happened... with Medic. You stared at your food for a second as worry tried to trickle onto you and settle in. Then, you mentally slapped yourself. No! I will not think like that! It'll ruin my mood..., but are my emotions a lie? Am I just ignoring the problem? Am I just trying to cling to one of the only happy moments of my time here? No, no! I will not think like that! I'm letting my brain do too much shit to me right now, and I will not have it! I don't care if I'm clinging to a lie! At least it's a happy one!

You shoved your food into your mouth to distract you. The pizza tasted slightly burnt, but who cares! You sure didn't! It was good and you were going to be happy from now on! Well you know emotions don't last forever, right? Shut up! I don't want your negativity right now! The glass is half-full, not half-empty. Well, actually it's half-empty and half-full, but it's just a glass of water. I'll drink it to spite you! Um, sure. Scout walked in and passed you a concerned look. It seemed to burn into your brain, but you brushed it aside with the rest of your concerns and waved happily at him. See? I'm fine! He lifted an eyebrow and nodded slowly, grabbing a plate and sitting down. Come on, don't let it bother you. See? You're fine! Nothing will faze you.

Then, Medic walked into the door and it was like your world just screeched to a halt. The words around you became a fuzzy mess as you watched him scan the room. Any happiness you felt suddenly disappeared. In its place, paranoia, worry, and panic filled its place nicely. You couldn't find the will to speak, but it wasn't like you would have anything to say to him. Your mind was blank. He scanned the room and made eye contact with you. You snapped your gaze away. You could feel people looking at you and then back to Medic. I'm not bothered, right? You chose a half-lidded expression and looked down at your plate.

It's fine, you'll be fine. Just pretend that everything's normal and it'll all go away. No, you know that's stupid! The answer to the problem is to talk to Medic, but I can't bring myself to do it! What am I going to do? You risked a look at Medic, and as usual he continued to stare at you. However, this time his lips pursed and he straightened in his seat slightly before looking away. This time you stared at him in disbelief. Oh God what is going on? You tried to take a bite of your food, but as you picked it up, your hands shook uncontrollably and you had to almost throw it back onto the plate. You saw Sniper look down at you from the corner of your eye.

"What's wrong, Sheila? Not to your taste?" He joked and you laughed, but your throat had closed and it came out as more of a cough.

"N-no, it's good. I'm just...not hungry," you looked up at him, feeling a shiver run down your spine without the cold. You had to hide your hands under the table. What's wrong with me? What's happening to me? Why can't I stand the thought of talking to him again?

"You know you're not in the wrong, right?" Sniper leaned down to your ear, lowering his voice. You nodded, but your visible shaking said otherwise. You didn't even want to see his expression. "Sheila, if you need someone to talk to, Oi'll be in the sniping tower, alright?" You nodded again. I really just want to be in my room alone under the covers with Bidoof. I can't handle being the center of attention like this.

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"Thanks..." You trailed off, not really meaning what you said, but you wanted to be genuine. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it. So much for that perfect day. Why does this always happen to me? Sniper nudged you and you looked up at him. He smiled, obviously trying to comfort your the best way he knew how, but you could tell he was uncertain as well. Heh, at least there's something I can relate to now. You returned your smile and tried to return to staring at your plate, but your thoughts were interrupted by a hand clapping your shoulder. Your body jolted against your wishes, making you jump in your seat. You turned to look at Engie smiling down at you with the similarity of a proud father. You caught Medic's eye and he was studying you. You shivered again.

"Demo was tellin' me how good of a job you were doin'! I'm proud of ya," Engie spoke as if he was oblivious to the elephant in the room. Is he serious right now?

"Uh-m, yeah. Thanks, Engie." You could only muster a half-smile at his compliment. You were grateful, and it meant something to you that he'd say it. However, he wasn't your father and it left you feeling... out of place? You couldn't describe the feeling well, but hearing it come from him, someone you're supposed to be equal to and yet sounded like a father figure, left you feeling, for lack of a better word, awkward. I mean, if you think about it, he's doing a better job than your actual dad at the moment. No! Don't say that. Our Dad was a good man, he was just logical about coming here. He didn't know anything about this place, so of course he would say no! Yeah, but does that excuse his negligence towards you over the course of your life because of his work? You know he was only doing that to provide for you! You need to be fair! Well what if I don't want to be fair? What if I wanted to spend time with the person who was supposed to be there for me! Even when he was just a few doors down the hallway from us, he wouldn't let us see him! Why don't I deserve to be mad!

"Strategist? You feeling alright? Ya look like yer zonin' out there." Engie chuckled, still oblivious to the stares you have gathered from your teammates. You forced yourself to copy his laugh.

"N-no, I'm good. I was just thinking." You slowly, subconsciously shifted away from him.

"What's running through yer mind?" Engie was really pushing it now, no one was talking and all eyes were on the two. He didn't notice the dead silence of the room unlike you. What's going on? I need to leave. This isn't right.

"It's nothing important, I promise." You laughed nervously, and it went up in pitch as his hand didn't move when you stood up.

"Of course it is! Besides, ya can't be done with yer lunch already." He tried to get you to sit down while you shake your head. You weren't finished with your lunch, but this conversation had stayed for too long.

"It really isn't. I just want to leave now if that's alright with you." You looked down at him, feeling the stares burn holes through your head. You glanced around. Their gazes were laced with concern for the situation. Well, except for Medic's, but you didn't want to care about how stone cold he was being.

"No! It's alright now, just sit back down and enjoy your meal. No need ta leave so early."

"Please, you're making me a bit uncomfortable. I just want to leave." You whispered to him, but it wasn't like the others couldn't hear you.

"How am Ah makin' you uncomfortable? You're alright now and all the mess with Medic is over with. There should be no reason for you to be upset like this!" It was then that you started to shake a bit more. You picked up his hand and used the strength you gained from your training to pry it off from you as gently as possible. You placed it back down at his side.

"Look around, Engineer." You walked away, trying not to cry as you put your dish away and walked to your room. You could hear your footsteps echo down the hallway and everyone's gaze follow you. I can't wait to get away from them! This is stupid!

You trembled as you sat on your bed after letting some tears out of your eyes. You had a tissue in your hand, but you felt empty to anymore tears. You were just overwhelmed and trying to process the craziness that was going on. I can't help but tremble like a mouse to a cat when it comes to Medic now, and Engineer's being really fucking weird. The more I think about what he said though, it's almost as if he just wants me to be happy? I have no idea really, he says I should be okay, but I'm obviously not. It's just... a huge fucking mess like fucking always. Whoo! Party time for cry sesh who knows anymore! You played with the bottom on your shirt, pulling on it and twisting it around. You found yourself going into your habit of biting your lip when you thought. This is so stupid. Of course nothing would be okay. This isn't what I had in mind, but when did that ever go my way. Well, I guess I never really expected anything of these guys in the first place. I just wanted this one day to be good! God, can't I just have ONE GOOD DAY HERE WITHOUT BULLSHIT SMEARING ALL OVER IT? IS THAT JUST TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR? You almost wished for tears to come as you felt yourself turn red, and your face become hot from anger. You wanted to just erase everything that happened, to just throw it all away. But then who knows how it would be? I could still be forcing my feelings down in a pit about Medic and I don't know how much more of that I could have taken.

Then, you heard a small knock at your door. Fearing it to be Medic, you took your time in answering it. On the other side, you found Engineer holding his hardhat in his hands. His eyebrows were furrowed in a concerned expression. You tossed your tissue away. You let a sigh out of your nose fully before deciding to say anything.