The ceiling stared back at you the following morning. Though you had slept reasonably well, you still couldn't wrap your head around what happened yesterday. It all happened so fast. I had only just figured out he was Dream Medic. Well, my timing doesn't matter in the event. Maybe he just really needed someone to talk to? God, it was so weird. I-I didn't expect it, and does it really make up for all the stuff Medic's done to me? Does he even know what he was doing? He seemed pretty damn surprised to here I was scared of him. The image of Medic crying enveloped your mind, taking up all of the space within. With an audible grunt you forced it out, not being able to place how you felt. It was like the moment you could finally grasp what your emotions were, they slipped away and taunted you. This time, however, you weren't going to let yourself fill your mind with concerns over someone who was really just insane. Honestly, grow up, Y/n. Focus on your own damn problems for once.
You thrust the covers off of you, but your hand smacked the wall in doing so. You squeaked in shock, and rubbed your wrist in pain. You shook your hand until the pain went away, standing up in your sheep pajamas and shuffling like an old lady over to the bathroom, laughing at yourself for doing so. See? I can occupy myself! No need for any Germans to confuse my life anymore than I've fucked it up! Whoopy! You placed your hand on the sink countertop, sliding them around the sink, experiencing the sensations for seemingly the first time. So what, I have a sink fetish now? Get it together! With a small, uncontrollable frown, you ripped your hands away and started washing your hands to wash your face. It seems so surreal, as if it was just another dream. Still, the hug felt real. You were washing your face now, allowing the soap to soak into your pores, cleaning them out of the oil and residue of dried tears.
After patting your face dry, you used the toilet and washed your hands again. Streaking over to your closet, you opened its doors, taking one glance at the duffel bag full of clothes from home discarded, forgotten, in the corner. Feeling a need for nostalgia, for a bit of reminiscing, you quelled the urge to grab it. That was barely over a week ago. Except you felt as if you had changed a lot. Maybe, your friends wouldn't like how you are now. What if they hadn't changed at all? Was if just you? You kicked the duffle bag under your bed.
Soldier's unmistakable sound of rapping his knuckles against the door made you jump slightly.
"CUPCAKE! GET A MOVE ON! YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES UNTIL WE EAT WITHOUT YOU, AND I DON'T WANT THAT TO HAPPEN!" Soldier yelled excessively through the door frame. Aww, he wants me there! It dawned on you that he hadn't left. He's waiting for a response?
"Got it, Soldier! I'll be out in two, thank you for caring about me being there!" You called back, laughing at the startled huff you heard outside. Boots clicked away, and true to your word, you had quickly changed and headed out of your room. The bag holding the disks made an uncomfortable thump against your chest with each bouncy step. You slowed down a bit as you made it to the kitchen, having taken off the bag entirely and placing in your pocket momentarily. Immediately after stepping in, you felt off. You swept the room with your eyes until you found the source: Engie. The hardhat which usually donned his head was left abandoned at the table, cast away as if it was roughly thrown there. You barely felt a corner of your mouth turn down. That's not right. You vaguely remember Engie being up late last night and you understood what happened with Medic wasn't a fever dream. If it was a dream, then hearing Engie last night wouldn't have been true, and that's shown with him here. What was he working on? Is he okay? You didn't need to see underneath the goggles to know bags were under his eyes, this was too familiar to you.
As if sensing you, Engie's head turned slightly towards you and you nearly jumped. Something about this mood he's in is... well, it's putting you off in a way you couldn't describe. Not wanting to look like a creep, you awkwardly smiled, raising a hand and giving a little wave. He solemnly nodded and turned back to the plate he was making. Deciding to jump into the line, you stepped in behind Scout and awkwardly shuffled with everyone to get food. You could do the conga like this...oh man food would fly everywhere! You smile to yourself, imagining your team making a huge mess and celebrating together, but when you leaned over to see your team, emotions seemed to run rampant throughout each expression. Heck, even Demo isn't smiling. The only one who seemed like he was having a good day was Scout, but it wasn't like he was about to crack jokes either. I feel like today might not be too great. Once you reached the plates, you grabbed one and eventually made your way to the food. If you were up earlier, you could thank whoever cooked, but you didn't know. You had a feeling it wasn't Engie, that's for sure. Seeing Pyro sit down with the apron on gave you an idea, though. Breakfast was eggs, bacon, and toast. Each in their separate tray on the stove. You grabbed small portions of eggs and bacon, and you took a single slice of toast. You weren't too hungry all of the sudden. Sniper stood up and went to the coffee maker. You hadn't even noticed him here.
"Aye! Hadn't ya had enough, already? That's loike yar fourth cup!" Demo complained after Sniper bumped into him crossing paths. Sniper's gaze snapped towards Demo like a predator, and you could have sworn they would have started fighting there, but he instead grumbled to himself and got more coffee, keeping a close eye on Demo. Demo shook his head, as if to shake himself out of something, and begrudgingly sat down at his seat. How is everyone so tense all of the sudden? Spy decloaked in front of Heavy and Heavy closed his eyes and let a sigh out of his nose, nostrils flaring with an angry expression on his face. Spy didn't appear to have liked Heavy's breath on his suit.
"Well, be faster next time, fat man," Spy sneered, almost snorting while laughing to himself. Heavy's fist clenched by his side.
"Is it wish to keep puny limbs?" Heavy asked, and Spy rolled his eyes.
"Oh please!" Still, Spy hurried to his seat after filling his plate.
Heavy seemed to get bigger in your eyes, as if to keep people out of his space. He kept his eyes on Spy as he filled his plate. You had gently sat down, forgetting a cup for a drink, but not really wanting to get back into that mess. I can grab a water bottle later. Sniper flopped down in his seat, tipping his hat to you, but then focused his attention on his mug. Engie, having stopped for a drink, finally sat down. He waved his hat towards the middle of the table. You placed your hands in your lap, feeling very self-conscious about what you were doing. Soldier made it a point to walk by you to clap a hand on your shoulder and Engie quickly blew air out of his nose. Despite Engie's reaction, you found enough comfort to at least eat some. The air was so thick you could cut it with one of Spy's knives, but Pyro seemed unaffected. Maybe because of that gas mask. He giggled as Heavy - hopefully accidentally - bumped into Spy's chair. Spy scowled as Scout sat down.
Finally, Medic walked through the door and there was no longer a line. Without looking at you, he piled some food on his plate and sat down in his seat. You raised an eyebrow at him a little bit, gesturing around the table hoping to find an ally in this mess. Instead, you were meant with slightly squinted and an exasperated expression. He stared you down until you bowed your head in defeat. It had to be a dream. At the sound of a chair squeaking, you looked up to see Demo leaned back in his chair, his arms folded and eyes glaring at Medic. Medic side-eyed him back. Just as Demo opened his mouth:
"So! How did everyone sleep?" Fueled by God-knows-what, Scout started a conversation and everyone seemed to share the same groan. "What?" Scout complained.
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"Ah didn't," Engie scowled, grip tightening on the fork.
"Well, that's a you problem, pally." Engie frowned. "Come on, guys! Today's da day we get to show the rookie around!" Scout gestured with his hands, buzzing in his seat. You sat back in your chair and smiled. You couldn't lie, he was infectious. "We definitely need ta show ya the respawn room-" Scout spoke to you "-It's probably the most important thing ta know."
"Ha, yeah. Hopefully I won't need it too much, though," you blurted out, joking. Scout laughed, but let it die out when an uncomfortable silence filled the room.
"Yeah...." The silence was suffocating, everyone sharing knowing glances at each other. Medic's mouth tightened as he stole glances at you, brows furrowed in confusion as he picked at his food. I fucked it up. You tried to smile, but it was hard to keep one up when visible fear from Demo met your gaze. You really wish you had water or something to distract yourself. Is it hot in here?
"Ahem," Spy cleared his throat. "Well, we should leave in about five minutes, anyway." The others grumbled in agreement and he stood up to leave. Though you hadn't eaten much anyway, you really wanted to leave. You quickly finished your food as to not seem rude to Pyro despite wanting to immediately throw it back up, and placed you dishes in the dishwasher. Without another word, you went to your room to get your gear...and process what the fuck just happened. You made sure not to look back, but you knew people stared at you. Their whispers clinging to your back.
You closed your door behind you and waved your arms frantically around your room to make sure Spy wasn't there. Thankfully, you didn't bump into anything and let out a breath you didn't know you were keeping in. You placed your hands on your hips and allowed yourself to breathe deeply. Okay, that was stressful and weird. What is going on with everyone? Why is Medic acting like... well, I guess he's just acting like he usually is. God, what can I even say? I can't make this right and everyone's hostile towards each other. You started pacing the floor, the gears turning in your head. Alright, I'm not that stupid. None of them seem to like the idea of me dying, because of how they acted towards my comment earlier. That's...good. Yes, that's good. It'd be bad if anyone wanted me dead... what am I thinking? No, that's not a good spiral. Maybe I should see a therapist? Okay, wow, sidetracked. Alright, I need to ride this out. Maybe they'll be better tomorrow? Man, what am I going to do if they fight each other? I don't know what to do about this..., but I do know I have to make a battle plan. It's my job. I need to study the battle map and learn about what works best. You felt the anxiety of not being able to do well rise up within you, clawing out of the very depths of your soul. It spread like fire through your veins, making your arms shake so you held them. Okay, alright. Okay, calm down. You tried deep breathing, filling your lungs to the brim with air before slowly letting all out. You can do this. It is physically possible. You reach into your pocket to whip out the tablet to see what you can look at.
It had names of maps and weird places on a list. You scrolled for Upward, listed under payload. Guess the payload is the bomb Scout mentioned. You stared at the map. There were industrial buildings made crudely out of wood and a train track circled everything until it came down into a center. It was a giant hole with nothing else in it, or at least it seemed that way? Along the map were red points you'd have to ask about later and respawn locations. It seemed the BLU team advances onto the RED team's territory pushing a bomb to drop into the hole. Simple enough, right? Hopefully. You sighed and slipped the tablet back into the pocket. Grabbing your rifle and the rest of your gear, you stepped out of your room. Soldier was there waiting for you, his hand still raised as if to knock on the door. After a moment of awkward silence, he saluted and grinned.
"You ready, Cupcake?" His grin turned into a madman-like smile.
"Born ready," You agreed, not really sure if that actually came out of your mouth or not. He clapped you on the shoulder - which was a little rough - and led you out of the main door from the living room Miss Pauling first brought you through. The sound of two trucks' engines chucking filled your ears. There was a delivery truck that said RED Bread on the side. The back was open and Soldier hopped into it. Sniper, Medic, and Scout sat in the back while Heavy was driving. Spy sat next to him, staring out of the window. Then, the second truck had a wooden cargo bed. Engie was driving next to Pyro and Demo sat in the back. The choices left you a bit confused. As much as you wanted to sit next to Demo and Engie... the way they were acting wasn't very... well, you were wary of it. Instead, you hopped into the truck after Soldier, taking a seat in the back next to Scout. You needed his positivity right about now. Sniper bent over to close the back and sat back down.
On your left was the door, and on your right was... Medic? How did this happen? You look to see Scout had moved to take Sniper's seat in an effort to mess with him. Sniper didn't find it very funny, but just tipped his hat low and leaned back against the truck. Without a word, Heavy started the truck and drove off. Medic sat against the truck with his arms crossed, his eyes closed not even acknowledging your existence. You saw bags under his eyes as well. Maybe he didn't go to sleep after I left. You didn't want to talk to him, though. In all honesty, you really just wanted to go to sleep and hopefully ignore everyone and... oh shit. I haven't done anything for school in a while. That...could be a huge fucking problem. Alright. You ran a hand down your face. There's nothing you can do about it now. Might as well ride this out. You wanted to ask how long it would be, but between Sniper having fallen asleep, Medic possibly trying to fall asleep, and the fact no one is saying anything made you change your mind. You leaned back and let out a small sigh, but hit your head due to the road right now being so bumpy. You hissed a little through your teeth and rubbed the back of your head. You felt Medic stiffen beside you, but didn't really want to think about that. Not only were you bored now, but you were feeling a bit tired yourself.
"So, uh, Strats," Scout started, speaking fairly softly.
"Yes, Scout?" You were genuinely confused as his demeanor.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Might as well." Scout took in a breath with an unnatural nervous look on his face.
"Do you know how your friends and family are doing? I-It's just dat it's been ova' a week a-and..yeah." Scout cut himself off. You... weren't sure how to take it. You shifted your gaze to the corner and bit your lip, not sure if you should explain everything. "I-It's okay if you don't want to-"
"No, no. I was just thinking of how to phrase it. That's all." You looked back up at him, noticing from the corner of your eye Spy peer back. Soldier shifted in his seat. "My mom, because she thinks I'm at a school, is really excited for me to visit her and talk about my friends and stuff. She's really an optimist whereas my dad... doesn't support it. At all, really, and I don't necessarily blame him. He... won't talk to me. He basically cut himself out of my life."
"Yeah, know what dat's like," Scout added and you could have sworn Spy flinched.
"Yep...," you sighed. "Anyway, my friends have stopped talking to me as well. I don't think it's because they hate me - though I'm sure a few are upset at the fact I left so suddenly - but they... replaced me. In a sense, at least. It's not like they cloned me, it's just that they found someone who was like me and... don't talk to me anymore. I won't lie, it kind of hurts." Scout nodded and Soldier cracked his knuckles.
"Who do I have to kill, Cupcake?" He sneered, hopping in his seat as if he was going to run all the way home.
"No one! No one! It's okay, Soldier!" Scout laughed.
"Anyway, doesn't dat mean dey needed someone like you in dere lives?" Scout brought back the conversation. He waved his hands in the air and if weighing something, and what he said surprised you a bit.
"Yeah, but that also means they'll take anybody who's just like me, too. I'm replaceable."
"But have you tried talking to them since?"
"With all that's been going on... no."
"Well! Maybe I'm just spitballin' here, but why not try to talk to them again?" You let the question ring in your head a bit and nodded.
"Good idea, Scout." You felt yourself smiling.
"Yeah, you know me! I'm da best!" You laughed slightly and stirred Sniper.
"Aw piss. Oi need ta use the bathroom, could we stop?" Sniper asked Heavy. He glanced back at us.
"Fine, but only because Leetle Girl is here," Heavy begrudgingly agreed, pulling over. Before the truck even stopped, Sniper had hopped out and walked around the side.
"Um, so how long will it be until we get there?" You piped up, just wanting to know.
"One hour." You could feel your eyes widen a little.
"Thank you, Heavy." He nodded. Not being able to do anything for an hour made you want to sleep, and so you let the exhaustion fold over you. No harm in a little nap right?
Sniper hopped back in and closed the door. Heavy immediately pulled back onto the road and you tried to get comfortable against the side of the truck. Slowly, you fell asleep.