Your eyes feel as if they're about to pop out of their sockets as your look of pure disbelief registers with Medic. The corners of his mouth turned down as he noticeably flinched, his eyes slightly closing and his head jerking slightly as if someone had slapped him. You covered your gaping mouth, equally unable to hide your real emotions. What the hell is happening? You didn't bother trying to hide your suspicion.
"Are you shitting me? I-I mean, are you kidding me?" You asked so quickly you could barely register your mistake. Despite the flurry of words barrelling out of your mouth, Medic seemed to understand. He let loose a sigh through his nose, his eyebrows furrowing and his eyes closing for a moment.
"Ah- Strategist...," he started, as if his thoughts were weighing down on him. "Could ve possibly continue zhis conversation out of zhe realm of a certain Spy?" He glared daggers into a corner behind you, and you jumped to turn around at the sound of the French man de-cloaking. How did I not know he was there?
"Oh please! It'z not as if I waz going to tell ze otherz!" Spy complained, being overdramatic to play it up. To you it just seemed as if Spy wanted to mess with Medic. It felt like a hiker poking a sleeping bear. Like the bear, Medic was taking nothing this man had to offer.
"If jou step foot into my MedBay or somehow finding jouself outside of it, I vill personally gut you," Medic growled, taking a step towards Spy with a barred fist. A visible shiver shook Spy's suit, but he played it off.
"Not to worry, Doctor. I will not step foot near your precious MedBay." Spy grinned, holding up a hand like he was taking an oath. He then slipped by you like a slivering snake. "...not like you two would talk about anyzhing important anyway...." He slyly laughed and Medic tensed up, gritting his teeth as if keeping himself from snapping the man's neck. He started towards him, but out of fear of another scene being caused, you found yourself forcefully placing a hand on Medic's arm.
Unfortunately, it was more like you pushed him and just let your hand stay there. Damnit! That's not what I- Medic's head snapped back to look at you, his anger with Spy plain as day on his face. You could hear Spy laughing in the distance. You tried to smile, or at the very least tried not to look as embarrassed as you felt and quickly put your hand by your side. Medic tried to regain his composure, the anger fading back into frustration as he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and his index finger.
"Just follow me so ve can speak in peace, please," Medic sighed, turning and walking off. You followed him, and he took a glance back to make sure you were still with him. He held his hands behind his back in his usual fashion. As you both entered the living room, your eyes flowed across the scene. Engie was sitting in a chair, his head slowly lifting up to see you both there. With a small scowl, he let his head drop to his newspaper. Demo looked passed out on the couch. You could just barely make out his arm dropping off the side of it with a beer bottle. You mentally scoffed with a shy smile. Your eyes instinctively snapped up to the smirking Spy who waved you off. Not knowing what to do, you waved back. You took a little pleasure in the confusion on Spy's face. Still, as you turned back to Medic's vest, you couldn't help but be concerned for Engie. What is going on in his mind? What caused that scowl? The hallway echoed ominously with the sharp thud of Medic's shoes while the situation sunk into you.
You twiddled your thumbs while you walked, the anxiety of what Medic's conversation could lead to made adrenaline pump through your body. You were feeling jittery, scared of another conflict between the two of you. And in the same day, too. The only good thing was that if this didn't go well, you could sleep it off with no suspicions from the others. As you passed everyone's doors, the silence seemed deafening. You ran a hand through your hair, unsure of what to do other than just hear him out. Maybe he actually feels bad...maybe this is a trap and you'll die over and over again ne- no! I can scream and people will come for me... that doesn't stop the pain though. Oh come on! When has he deliberately tried to hurt you... physically? To that.. degree. I don't know what I'm doing here. Medic took another glance back and you nearly jumped out of your skin. Jesus, (Y/n)! Pull yourself together! You're making a mess of this again! Like you always do! Just don't fuck it up! I don't know how I would fuck it up, there's so many possibilities! Just don't fuck it up! I don't know how? I don't-
"Are jou feeling alright?" Medic asked, his eyes trained on you in a way you saw threatening. You hadn't noticed the German looking at you. You couldn't pull yourself together internally and it seemed to show externally. Shit. Medic's eyes narrowed slightly. "Strategist-"
"I-I'm fine!" You stammered out. No I'm not. "I was just-um...thinking." More like spiraling.
"Hm, and may I ask about vhat?" Medic voice gave away his genuine interest. Freaky.
"No, s-sorry." You tried to smile, but your bet was that it was lop-sided.
"Vell zhen, zhat's fine." Something told you Medic wanted to press more, but his tone told you that he wasn't concerned with getting the information out of you... at least not right now.
Thankfully or unfortunately, you both made it to the MedBay before you let anything else out of your mouth. Get your head on straight! He just wants to apologize which is weird, but good! I hope... AGH! I just want to get this over with.... For the second time ever, he held the door open for you and you nervously stepped inside. With a coo from above, Archimedes swooped in to perch on you shoulder. Medic didn't comment, simply looking over with a scoff. You didn't know how to react to it, but stroking the dove a bit helped you calm down. You kept your gaze trained in front of you, afraid of annoying Medic any further today. I just can't do that right now. Involuntarily, however, you felt your eyes flick to the machine in the corner and you kept yourself from frowning. You allowed your gaze to linger too long, though.
"Zhat's none of jour business," Medic noticed where you were staring. You flinched and you looked up at him, upset that yet again you appeared weak. You weren't sure whether to be embarrassed or to let it go for the sake of an apology. I mean, when are you going to get one of these again? Then, a plaguing thought entered your mind. What if he didn't bring me here to apologize? What if he's going to shove me in that machine and I'll- "Strategist? Are jou listening to me?" Medic brought you back to reality. You turned to look at him, Archimedes headbutting your cheek. He had crossed his arms and stared down at you, intimidating you like he always did. Still, you let out a shaky sigh. I can't do this forever. "Vell?"
"I-ahm," you calmed your shaking, but it came out in your voice. Stop doing that! "I'm sorry, Medic. I didn't hear you." Medic rolled his eyes and let out a sigh.
"Of course jou didn't," Medic muttered and despite knowing it's true, you took a bit of offense to that.
"Sorry, Medic." You allowed yourself to look downcast.
"No, no. Jou've already apologized vonce. It's time I did as vell." He gestured to two chairs he had set up. We're going to be here a while, aren't we? You sat down in one of them, Archimedes shifting his weight around on your shoulder.
Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.
"What, um, are you apologizing for?" You managed to get out. Medic took a seat in the other, crossing his legs and mumbling to himself while looking at the floor. This went on for a bit. Every time he would stop momentarily, he would look upset at something he said, shake his head, and then continue. It alarmed you, because you've never seen him like this. Granted, you didn't know the man that well, but trying to figure this out was harder than you'd like to admit. Not really know what to say, you stroked the dove on your shoulder and looked around the MedBay. When your gaze eventually wandered onto Medic, he finally looked up at you. Taking in a deep breath, he spoke to you.
"Strategist, it has come to my attention zhat I vas unfair... to jou," Medic started, continuously fumbling with his glasses. They didn't seem to sit right with him. You held back the urge to snort. That's an understatement. However, the better part of you knew you had to just allow him to let it out. Like the others did to me. It occurred to you how Medic was looking at you, waiting for something. Your eyebrows flashed up in a surprise, and you nodded at him to continue. He let out a nervous laugh before catching himself with a cough, hiding it as clearing his throat. Oh my God I can't believe this is happening right now. "And, eh heh, I vanted to apologize... for zhe zhings I did during our training. Jou... vere right. I vas unfair and expected too much of jou. Though, jou didn't let me speak vhen jou vent off on me," a part of him came back when his expression became serious for a second, "I pushed jou too far, and for zhat... I'm sorry." He looked to you while the fingers on his right hand couldn't keep still. You brought Archimedes down from your shoulder and pet him in your hands. Medic stared at you, wisps of concern lacing his face finally poking through. You collected your thoughts before deciding to speak.
"I-"
"Jes?" Medic asked urgently.
"Hold on. I understand and thank you for your apology..., but I don't think I was in the wrong with anything I said," you started slowly, and Medic nodded as if recounting the event. "Still, I was too upset to let you speak and for that I'm sorry. I just... thank you for coming to me after. I didn't think I would be able to talk to you again after it. I was very ashamed of what I said...and honestly very scared to confront you again." God, why did I say that? Medic's hand stopped moving and you grimaced. He didn't hide the shock on his face.
"Scared?" His voice was soft, small, and laced with concern, or was that his own fear? Fuck nuggets.
"I-e-ah, um,.. Yeah," You gave a soft shrug. For some reason this made the conversation more awkward than if Medic was simply mad at you. You only came out as a whisper while you told him "I'm sorry." Silence made its presence known except for the flutter of wings and cooing from above. You wouldn't bring yourself to look up at Medic, afraid of what you'd find. Instead you tried to make the silence a comfort. I mean, at least he isn't yelling at you right now. After what felt like ages, you had to get yourself to look up at some point, but what you saw dumped the heaviest surprise you've had onto you.
Medic was crying.
You couldn't believe it and the shock of it all left you breathless. Oh fuck, oh shit, oh fuck, oh shit! Fuckity fuck fuck! You were freaking out mentally. What do I do? Oh God, what do I do! Medic was staring blankly at you with a small, yet steady stream of tears rolling down his cheeks. A small look of horror was present in his eyes, but you didn't know how to react. Damn it, I can't relish in this. I feel horrible! Is this how the others feel when they see me? What do I do? Your heartbeat felt like it was flying miles a minute. Archimedes was concerned for you and booped your stomach. To comfort him, you stroked his head with your finger. Don't just sit here, do something! UGH! What do I do? This is so fucking awkward. You placed Archimedes back onto your shoulder and stood. Medic's eyes barely seemed to follow you as you walked over to him. Your hand hovered over his shoulder, when you went to place your hand on it, you instinctively pulled away. Stop being a fool, (Y/n). You placed your hand on his shoulder and he looked up you. You didn't have to fake the concern on your face. As if caught in a lie, Medic blinked rapidly and used his hands to wipe his cheeks, but it didn't stop the tears and he mumbled in frustration.
"Gottverdammt...," you could make out when he wiped his eyes again. He had his index finger and his thumb touching the outside corners of his eyes, shielding them from you. He let out a sigh that told you he was disappointed in himself. How did you know? You did it all the time. You let a sigh out through your nose, not sure how to progress this. Sure, he was an ass hat to you, but you knew how this felt. If was your Dream Medic as you suspected, then there's got to be something here you can reach for. Come on, think! In the meantime, your gently squeezed his shoulder. He seemed to stiffen, but at least you knew he could react to you. Okay, oh boy.
"Medic... you know I forgive you, right?" Your gentle voice seemed to fill the room, engulfing all of the space available. Medic let out another shaky sigh, and you saw the sparkling glint of tears drop onto his shirt. "And... I, um, I know.. that you're my supposed Dream Medic." Medic became still. "I just... wanted to thank you for that. Honestly, like I-I don't know what I would be doing without you. It still baffles me how you didn't call me out on the things I said about you." You let out a weak laugh, but it sounded frail. "U-Um... yeah. Heh. Still, don't think I'm being soft on you just because you're crying." You tried to laugh again. Why would I say that? "No, um, scratch that I guess... I don't know what I'm saying, but I do know that despite the questions I have... I'm grateful you were there for me when I couldn't be there for myself. I'm sorry for what I did, or said made you-" Medic stood up to face you, your hand sliding off his shoulder. With another shaky breath, he removed his hand to reveal his icy-blue eyes now read and puffy. His hand dropped to his side. He appeared to be trying to hide his emotions with a steely gaze which usually worked for him, but this time it didn't. It really didn't.
"Strategist... (Y/n)," Medic started, his voice choking up, but he cleared his throat and composed himself. You felt a flare of anxiety well up in the pit of your stomach, but you let it die out. "I-I'm sorry for pushing jou to be... scared-" he spoke the word like he was afraid of it "-of me. I never meant... I didn't know vhat I vas doing to jou...." He trailed off, covering his eyes for a moment like he couldn't handle you being there. Regardless of Medic trying to look put together, it wasn't really working. Know what that's like.
"I-I-It doesn't make what you did okay..." you died out and he nodded. "But I forgive you." I never expected him to be able to do this. He moved his hand down to his mouth. "Ahm, do you want a-a hug?" You felt tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Something told you he meant what he said. Medic's eyes widened, but for only a moment. Then, in a relief to you, he nodded. You two met in the middle of an embrace Medic didn't seem to know he needed. He held you tightly in a desperate way that felt if he let you go, you would drift away. You returned the favor. No words needed to be spoken as your own tears fall out your eyes. This was what you both needed. This was your apology to each other. Every fight, every argument, every backhanded comment felt like you two could apologize without messing it up. Of course, there was a lot that needed to be talked about later, but this moment right here made you feel like someone deeply and truly cared about you. This was your safety, your fortress, and the mere thought of it made you never want to let go. You had your face buried into the doctor's shoulder and his hung next to you. You knew this moment couldn't last forever, so you enjoyed it for as long as you could.
Still, you two had to pull apart at some point, and when you two separated, Medic's expression was indiscernible. You wiped your eyes and Archimedes cooed, making both of you laugh.
"Strategist, I... thank jou, but I'm afraid it's getting late," Medic chuckled. You did as well and nodded.
"Well, I need to go to bed anyway. It you want to pop in, feel free to," you smiled, confused if this was all real. It really can't be, but it is. You took Archimedes off your shoulder and stood on your tippy-toes to place him on Medic's head. He laughed and ducked slightly to make it easier. With a wave goodbye, you left to go to your room, not caring about the gaze that followed you. Thankfully, you made it to your room without anyone stopping you. As you passed by Engie's room, however, you heard a frustrated voice followed by metal clanging inside. Still, you made it inside your room and managed to get ready for bed before ultimately passing out, letting exhaustion take over you.
Medic didn't visit your dreams, though.