Taking a good lick at the Energy-Heart, I close my eyes and sink into myself once more. I see the wave of light rushing at my Core from the same spot as before. ‘Zooming’ in closer, I try to take control of the Energy. It feels slippery, like I’m trying to grasp a bar of soap in a bath; even when I think I’ve got my fingers around it, I try to grip it and it shoots away from me. I attempt it over and over again even as we approach my Core.
The Energy seeps through the wall around my Core, fading into it without causing any damage to the walls of it. I watch in frustration as the last of the light fades without me having been able to affect it in the slightest. But I don’t give up. I sense that there may be something here that can solve my issues.
Returning to the physical world, I take another lick, then dive back into my inner world. Again, I fail. Again, I try, again I fail. I repeat the cycle several more times. I even break a shard off the Energy-Heart in hopes that the elongated period of Energy will give me more chance to grasp a mote. It does, but I still fail.
I question whether to give up on the idea or not. It is, after all, just intuition telling me that there’s a path through this way; perhaps it’s just my imagination which wants to see opportunity rather than a valid possible method. Then again, what other ideas do I have right now? Maybe I’ll get some more from Kalanthia tomorrow, but I might as well try this one until I’m too tired to keep going.
Setting to with renewed determination, I try and fail, try and fail, try and...succeed? For a fraction of a moment, I manage to actually hold the slippery Energy. Then it twists free and I lose it again. However, even that ever so fleeting success was enough to give me hope. I try again and again, each time showing a little progress on improving my grasp, now that I’ve succeeded at all.
When I reach the point of actually being able to grip the Energy, I have to next try to guide it the way I would guide the healing energy of Lay-on-hands to my wounds. The Energy fights me. It’s not the docile, calm healing mana that I’m used to; this is more like trying to herd cats. And, with my recent experiences looking after Trouble, Ninja, Stormcloud, and Lathani, I feel like I’m now sufficiently expert in the subject to tell.
However difficult it may be, it’s not actually impossible and I start to make progress. It feels like I’m taking hours over it, but my frequent returns to the physical world prove that actually less time is passing than I thought. Less doesn’t mean none, however, and the second moon is starting to rise before I manage to get any proof of concept of whether my idea might even work at all.
When I finally manage to grasp a small part of the light rushing into my Core, redirect it to the wall of my Core and succeed in controlling enough to feed it into the crack, I’m ecstatic to see the results. Almost like those windscreen-repair people who add some sort of substance into a crack to repair it, the Energy sinks into the crack and mends a small section of it.
Looking at the number of cracks all over my Core and the small section which I’ve spent hours trying to repair, I should be dismayed, dispirited. I’m not: I’ve successfully proven that this is a method that can be used to repair my Core without causing further damage. I’m ecstatic!
I’m also tired, not just physically but mentally. Deciding that further efforts right now would probably have diminishing returns, I instead push myself to a standing position and stretch my stiff muscles. Checking my status, I’m not surprised to see that there’s no change to any of my reductions – I’ve only made a very small change to a big problem, after all. I have gained two percent towards my next level, though – a testament to just how many times I’ve had to lick the Energy-Heart.
The diminished size of the Energy-Heart is another indicator: it’s probably about two-thirds the size it started, even though I only broke a shard off it that once, licking it all the other times. Maybe we’ll have to visit that cave again sooner than I thought, I consider with a little dismay. We might have harvested a whole bunch just recently, but at least Bastet and River deserve to have a share in the bounty since they’re the ones who harvested the bulk of what we have. Then Kalanthia may want some for Lathani. And I want them as well for healing my Core...suddenly, the slightly over a hundred Energy-Hearts which I have in my Inventory seems far too few.
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Well. Something to consider another day. For now, it’s time to sleep. Heading towards the cave, I take a moment to touch my Bonds to see where my companions are. Sirocco is in the trees, her Bond sleepy, though with a sense of alertness if necessary. River’s and Bastet’s are a lot more deeply asleep: obviously they feel safe enough where they are. River seems to be having some uneasy emotions, perhaps giving him bad dreams. I try to send soothing sensations down the link, a smile creeping onto my face when his emotions calm down in response. As for Fenrir, he’s not far, still wide awake. I send a questioning feel down the Bond to him, wondering if he’d like to come and join us in the cave. A moment later, he comes running, his scaly hide reflecting the moonlight as he gets closer, his whole being full of excitement.
“That’s a yes, I suppose,” I say to him wryly. He replies with an image of the whole lizog pack piling together to sleep, and a sense of wistfulness. Well, I suppose that makes sense then. Together, we head inside. River is a lump on my bed, turned towards the wall and leaving plenty of space for me. Maybe I won’t need to add more clothes, then? Bastet is curled up near the fire, the cubs tucked underneath her outstretched wing.
Yawning, I use the light of the fire to get changed into some fresh clothes: these ones are smelling rather ripe. Then, almost falling into bed, I realise that I’m exhausted again. My last memory is of feeling Fenrir nestle up to my side.
*****
The next morning I wake up to something I haven’t seen since arriving in this world: rain. I actually wake really needing to pee, then realise that it’s because of the sound of water falling heavily outside. I quickly go to the cave mouth to watch the downfall, sticking my hand out into the rain and feeling it run down my skin.
“Good thing we got home when we did,” I remark to Bastet as she comes to stand at my hip. She sends a feeling of distaste over the link, happiness that she’s inside and away from the damp. Fortunately, Kalanthia had clearly considered the risk of flooding and the cave is designed so that rain comes off the overhang onto a space in front of me, but then flows away from the cave mouth, down a slight slope. I’m struck by an idea and excitement rises in me.
After doing my business from the doorway of the cave, I go into my alcove, grab my soap, and shove it in my Inventory. Then, walking out into the rain and a bit away from the cave, I glory in the feeling of a free shower from the skies. When I strip off my clothes, I do shiver a little, but it’s not much colder than a refreshing shower and my improved Constitution can probably cope with a bit of damp cold. Taking my soap out along with a pile of dirty laundry, I let the clothes start soaking in the downpour while I soap myself up.
Dirt streams off me in rivers, the accumulation of not just normal sweat, ash, and blood, but also several level-ups’ worth of nasty residue. Frankly, I’m surprised the lizogs couldn’t smell me, even with me being downwind! I was an offence to my own nostrils for too long; not so now. My two more reptilian companions join me, Fenrir and River both using the rain to wash themselves off. Well, River is. I get the feeling that Fenrir is pretty young because he’s instead frolicking in the water as though he’s never seen it before.
I glory in the feeling of the dirt washing away, in the sense of finally being clean. My soap is a bit rough, nowhere near even the cheap stuff I used to buy for myself, let alone the nicely smelling and moisturising type Lucy would buy and insist on us using. At the time I’d objected on the grounds of not wanting to smell like a garden, but had secretly enjoyed the soft feeling of my hands afterwards. When she’d left, I’d gone back to buying cheap soaps, not even able to look at the other type for the memories and regrets they brought back to mind.
Still, at least it does the job. Naked, I next set to cleaning my clothes, scrubbing them as best I can. There’s no getting most of the stains out, not without hot water and industrial-strength detergent, but if I can at least get rid of the encrusted dirt and smell, I'll count that as an achievement. Of course, I then hit an issue of where to put them when I’ve rubbed away as much of the dirt as I can. After that, I use the low bushes dotted around the hilltop as my drying racks, spreading my clothes out one by one over the plants.
By the end of my task, the bushes look rather odd, adorned with man-made garments as they are. Still, hopefully the rain will serve to rinse out the soap, and then the things will dry out when the rain stops. Either way, it’s saved me a trip down to the river! I’ve even managed to fill my water containers just by putting them outside for a bit.
Finally, my hunger driving me inwards, I return to the cave, taking a few moments to drip at least partially dry just under the overhang. Once I’m not pouring with water any more, I head back into the alcove and grab a jacket from my ‘bed’ as a towel. I need to make a better bed… Sitting down, I hungrily munch a few bits of meat and some more of my soup from last night.
Markus Wolfe, we need to talk, I hear in my mind. I wince, knowing that it’s necessary, but dreading it even more than I’m anticipating it.