Using Inspect Environment turns out to be a bit different from Inspect Flora, interestingly enough. The same pulse of mana is sent out from me, but this time it doesn’t just go through my feet; it seems to emerge from all parts of my body, shooting in all directions.
When it returns, there’s no notification. Instead, it’s like there’s an overlay over my sight. Certain plants are haloed in a golden light, with one or two being haloed in red. The plant I’d just inspected is one of those outlined in gold, so I have to guess that it’s something about being edible, or useful in alchemy, or something.
The plants aren’t the only things haloed – there is a subtle glow to the cave itself, though when I venture closer, the light doesn’t seem to be around anything in particular. Interestingly, I noticed a bright gold light coming from my side – my knife. Brighter than anything I’ve seen so far, I realise that the gold must indicate that my knife is indeed as special as I thought it was. Is this proof of its enchantment?
The overlay doesn’t last more than about thirty seconds before it fades from view. Good to know. I wonder if I can somehow give it more mana in order to make it last longer, like I did when turning Lay-on-hands into its channelled version. Perhaps it’s not necessary, though – I could just use the Skill again for the same benefit.
Right, time to test my last new Skill. For this, I need a target. Looking around, I see all my Bound absorbed in their activities. Still, there’s one person I’m going to have to disturb in a moment anyway, so it might as well be now.
“River,” I call quietly. The lizard-man jolts a little despite my low volume, opening his eyes immediately.
I’m ready to go, he says, pushing himself to his feet.
“Yeah, we’ll do that shortly. I was just hoping to try something first, if you’re OK with it?” I check. He tilts his head, a questioning sense coming down the Bond. “I’ve got a new Skill to find out information about…creatures. I wanted to know both what information it gives me, and what it feels like for the…for you.” River just waits expectantly. “Are you OK with me using it?”
Of course, he answers. I am at your service.
Yeah, why didn’t I expect that? I ask myself a little sarcastically, still not comfortable with the way he seems to be willing to do whatever I want. I’m not going to over-analyse it now, though – I doubt that this will hurt him in any way after all. Inspect Fauna, I trigger mentally, hoping that it will work like the other two did. I don’t see why not.
The pulse of mana which leaves me this time is much like Inspect Flora had been. The only difference is that, like Inspect Environment, it doesn’t just leave through my feet. So Inspect Flora expects the plants to be rooted in some way? Makes sense, I suppose, but what if they’re flying plants or something?
It doesn’t move entirely like Inspect Environment either, though. That one had just expanded out from me in a rolling pulse. This one expands from multiple parts of me, but seems completely focussed on River. Before I lose sense of the connections, I feel them spooling off directly at my Bound.
Then the pulse returns and I feel knowledge enter my mind just as the nagging of a notification starts niggling at me. Opening it, I see something much like Inspect Flora had shown me. Does that mean that Inspect Flora and Inspect Fauna are more similar to each other than each are to Inspect Environment?
Lizard-folk: Runs-with-the-river (River)
Tier 1 Beast (unevolved)
Special abilities: None detected
Health: 830u
Mana:70u
Minimum Willpower recommended to Dominate without other impacting factors: 25
Bound (Dominate) of Markus Luke Wolfe. Most commonly used weapon is a spear, though this Beast is capable of using claws and teeth when required. Social Beast with strong capacity to form bonds.
Close message? Y/N
Nothing I hadn’t already known from my Bound tab or experience with River himself - though the minimum Willpower is quite interesting to see. If I hadn’t thought of asking for my Bounds’ stats to be added to my status screen, though, I would be quite happy to have the information.
However, it does raise a question: do I only see so much information because I already know it? Or would I see the same thing for any creature? I guess I’ll have to try it on different animals just to see.
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“How did it feel?” I ask River curiously. He seems unsure for a moment.
Odd, he says finally. Like a poke in a place I didn’t realise existed.
“Did it hurt?” I check, concerned that it had.
No…he replies, though doesn’t sound completely sure about that. It was…not pleasant, but it wasn’t terribly unpleasant, either. Just…odd.
“Alright,” I say finally. I suppose that in a way it’s surprising that River felt anything at all: the description had talked about Beasts in Tier Two and upwards having a chance to feel the inspection, and River is very clearly still in Tier One. Is that why it was ‘a poke’ in a place he ‘didn’t realise existed’? Because for him it didn’t yet? “Well, shall we go, then?”
River tilted his chin upwards briefly, sending agreement over the Bond. Moving over to Bastet, I lay my hand on her shoulder. She opens her eyes and looks up at me inquisitively.
“Sorry to disturb you,” I say, knowing that she’s not often able to absorb her Energy-Hearts in peace like this. At the same time, she’s the one I trust most out of the group, particularly since she actively accepted my Bond again. “I’m going into the forest with River. Can you keep an eye on things here?”
She sends a sense of asking if I want her to come with us, starting to push herself to her feet even before I answer.
“No, it’s fine,” I reassure her. She eyes me doubtfully. “Look, I’ll be with River. And we’re not going far. If I need you, I’ll call, OK?” She gazes at me for a few moments more, sending over the sense that she will be annoyed if I get in trouble and don’t call her. “OK, deal,” I say, unable to help a sense of amusement from bubbling up inside me.
Amusement, but also a little bit of grief; it’s been a long time since I felt like someone was concerned about me in a familial way. I push myself to my feet as I start to feel my eyes get a little hot, banishing those memories away from me.
“Alright, I’ll see you later. OK.” Without waiting for her response, I turn and stride over to River. “Let’s go,” I say a little roughly. He seems to take the cue that I’m not in the mood to speak and keeps pace with me silently even as a sense of confusion drifts over the Bond towards me.
I appreciate his presence, realising in this moment just how lonely for human companionship I am. My Bound are great, but they’re not human. They don’t understand where I’m coming from, why I react the way I do. Kalanthia’s the same: while she may have had (bad) experiences with humans, she’s still not one.
And still so long before I see another human, I mourn a little, the pricking in my eyes intensifying until I have to fight to keep the tears at bay. Why is this hitting me so hard? I wonder, trying to distract myself. It’s not like I’m alone, after all.
Bastet was great, like the big sister I’d never had. River was a solid companion, even if his recent tendency to be a bit too servile means that I have to be careful in my words in case he takes them too hard. Even Fenrir is a solid presence, and I’d felt reasonably safe with him on guard.
Thinking about it, I realise that my emotions have been a little out of whack for a while. I’ve been mood swinging like it’s my time-of-the-month. Sadness, depression, frustration, but also ecstatic happiness. Why?
I’ve been putting each emotion down to the situation. Frustration over not being able to make a bloody needle? That’s because with sixteen points in Dexterity, as well as memories of having done the task a hundred times, I felt like I really should be able to. But frustration to the point of throwing a childish tantrum? That’s a little over the top. Abnormally so.
Or it should be – if that’s who I’ve become after a couple of months in a solo survival environment, then I don’t like who I’m turning into. It shouldn’t take me snapping at River and him asking me to punish him because he doesn’t want me to go back on my promise to help out his village to make me realise that my behaviour isn’t appropriate.
And when was the last time I started dancing because I was so happy? OK, it’s happened, but usually about something momentous. I think the last time was when Lucy agreed to move in with me. But although managing to flense the crocodile hide was pretty exciting, did it really warrant such a degree of happiness over it? Not that dancing or being happy is a bad thing, but I can’t help but look at it suspiciously in the light of my other out of character mood swings.
Actually…I rather worked myself into a panic over Bastet, didn’t I? Looking back on it, I wonder how I managed to convince myself that she was going to attack me. I’m still grateful that she didn’t choose to leave, but in the light of her so-easy reacceptance of the Bond, I find myself wondering how I could have misread her so much to think that she would react violently to the Bond being taken away. I lost all sense of perspective, becoming mired in my depressive thoughts.
Then again, I suppose that considering what happened just before coming to this world, this is the most understandable of my mood swings. Still, I’ve got to find some way of pulling myself together; I’m not only responsible for myself now. If I’d thrown myself off my apartment roof, few would have mourned me, and I had no dependants who would have been affected. It’s different now.
So, either I need to start exercising more self control because this time alone in the forest has made me lose all manners, or something else is wrong. Thinking about it, could it be to do with the lack of balance in my stats? In a way I hope it’s that simple; nothing that time or another level up couldn’t cure.
Another possible option I can see is that it’s linked to the damage I experienced to my soul when I absorbed the Pure Energy. If it’s that, hopefully it’s fixable – I have a couple of ideas to try there, but am not sure if they’ll work.
It could be trauma, I suppose. I think I read somewhere that trauma can cause mood swings and heaven knows I’ve been through some traumatic situations recently. Though if that’s the case then I’m out of luck: I don’t think there are any therapists in this ‘uncivilised’ world. If it’s that then I’ll just have to revert to option one: try to notice when I’m experiencing an unusual level of emotion and do my best to control my reactions while feeling it. A bit of a tall order, that, though.
Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I realise we’re just standing in the forest, not that far from the treeline. River is looking at me quizzically, confusion and concern coming from his side of the Bond. Concern over what? Me? Or my reactions?
Deciding that therein lies pointless navel-gazing, I try to distract myself. While I need to be more aware of my emotional state, clearly, I can’t second-guess myself so much that I hesitate at the wrong moment. We’ve come into the forest to fell a tree, so that’s what we’re going to do.