I didn’t think her such a fool, Kalanthia snaps. Even after you’d gone, I impressed on her how dangerous the foe you sought was, and thought that she had understood. I imagined she had gone hunting, but when she didn’t come back by nightfall, I became worried and went searching for her.
“You’ve been searching for her for a night and day?” I ask incredulously. A growl comes at me from the other side of the space.
Yes! I worried that she had been killed by a creature, or caught by those wretched lizards again – and my patience is wearing thin on that matter – or taken by some other predator to provide food for their own young. When I picked up her presence on the edge of my senses, I was overjoyed – and then I saw her and saw exactly what you had done to her!
The anger is back, but I understand it far better now. Kalanthia has spent the majority of the time since we’ve been gone frantically worried for her cub, probably combing every inch of the mountainside and forest for any trace of her presence – or her body.
Not being a parent, I can’t imagine how it felt to feel the relief of knowing her child was alive, but then finding out that she’d been ‘chained’. Her fury is no surprise, but I still don’t want to be killed by it.
“And that’s exactly why I did it!” I respond to Kalanthia just as firmly as she’s been speaking, but without the anger.
Did what? The seeming non-sequitur seems to have derailed her a little – good.
“Lathani followed us into a battle with a dangerous opponent. I offered her a temporary Tame Bond – temporary, mind,” I repeat just in case she didn’t hear it the first time, “to protect her.”
How does chaining her protect her? Kalanthia asks more than a little incredulously. But at least she’s actually asking the question now rather than just rejecting my words outright.
“Telepathic communication both ways means that we can communicate danger and a decision to retreat in split-seconds. In addition, I made it a requirement in Lathani’s Bond that she listened to the instructions of my other Bound, all of whom knew how important it was that she survived. That was to stop her from deciding to disobey an order to retreat if necessary. Without that, she would have been a complete loose cannon, and I wasn’t willing to put the rest of us at risk just because she refused to sit on the sidelines.”
The pressure against me lessens even further and I actually manage to start creeping forwards a little. I meant what I said to Kalanthia – I’m not trying to Dominate her at all – but gaining a bit more of a sense of her feelings would help. That it would also help her feel the sincerity and honesty within my own words can only be a benefit too.
You are telling me that she accepted a chain willingly? Kalanthia asks, still incredulous, but this time sounding a little less sure of herself.
“She did since that was the only way I would permit her to be part of the battle.”
If you had a choice, why not keep her out of the battle completely? Kalanthia demands. I know what you were up against and cannot fathom why you would let Lathani anywhere near one of them.
“Because the only way to keep her out of the fight was either to tie her to a tree, which could lead to her being vulnerable to any other predator that came past,” I say to Kalanthia, my words snapping through the space between us, “or tying her to one of my Bound, thereby depriving us of another fighter.” I breathe in and out deeply. I probably don’t have to in this space, but it helps me clear my mind a little, dropping back into Light Meditation. “It seemed like the best idea of the time, and in fact meant that I was able to keep her alive.”
What do you mean? Kalanthia questions me furiously, the pressure suddenly hitting me full force once more. I lose one of the inches I’ve just gained before I manage to brace fully against the force. I can feel myself tiring, though – the soulspace isn’t likely to last all that much longer. River’s lasted longer than this, but it was significantly less draining than this constant battle against pressure that I’m required to engage in now.
“She almost died from the venom of the danaris, but because she was my Bound at the time, I was able to heal her without her body putting up any resistance.” I know that for a fact now that I’ve had to heal her while unconscious and not Bound to me. “When the dawn came, as intended, her Bond dropped away and she was ‘released’,” I continue.
Then why is she still chained to you, if the Bond released? Kalanthia demands, seemingly confused. I don’t blame her, but I’m thankful when it means that the pressure between us drops a little and I can start inching forwards again.
“Because of what happened after,” I sigh. “To give you a little background, since I don't know what you know and what you don’t, I have three types of Bonds. One through Dominate, gained through a Battle of Wills in this space,” I explain, gesturing to the space around us with a hand that quickly returns to clinging onto the ground. “One through Tame, which is more of a negotiation. That is the kind I had with Lathani. It’s more limited in duration or extent, or both.
Unauthorized duplication: this narrative has been taken without consent. Report sightings.
“Then I have Companion Bond. This requires me to already have had a Bond of significant depth with the other being.” Actually, how come Catches-leaves was able to have a Companion Bond with me, then? We’d only met less than a day before. Unless it’s because of his deep gratitude for me healing his eyes? I dismiss the thought – something else to consider later, maybe.
“I discovered by accident that I don’t have to be the one to offer a Companion Bond – if one of my Bound feels like making a significant commitment to me, apparently that’s enough to trigger it.” I feel Kalanthia’s impatience even without her saying anything. I get to the point. “Lathani almost died again. She went off hunting with Trouble – without instruction or telling any of us – and angered a family group of cyrans.” I try to project a picture of the creatures to Kalanthia. Whether it works or not, I feel Kalanthia’s exasperation and see her tail lashing.
“We got there just in time to save the two of them, and I was able to heal Lathani, though not without a huge amount of difficulty since she wasn’t my Bound at the time,” I add, just to help justify why Taming her in the first place had been a good idea. I don’t, however, mention that I activated Dominate on her: I don’t think it actually made any difference to the Bond between us, but still don’t feel like I should muddy the waters here. Kalanthia has only just properly started listening, after all.
“Afterwards, when she woke up, she decided that she wanted to join our group – permanently – and the Companion Bond snapped into place without any intention on my part. And she wasn’t lying earlier,” I add, “or being deceived. Unlike Dominate, beings Bound with Companion Bond are able to end the Bond at any time. However, once broken the Bond cannot be reestablished – ever. And I think there’s probably some significant soul backlash – on us both, most likely.”
My piece finally fully said, I wait for Kalanthia to speak.
She’s been listening in silence and doesn’t seem to be too inclined to break that streak yet.
Why should I believe your claim? she says finally, sounding calmer than she’s been all conversation, yet I sense that the calm is just on the surface.
I search for a good response before finally shrugging helplessly.
“You can sense my mind, can you not? You can detect if I’m telling the truth or not. You can speak to Lathani and see whether her story is the same as mine-” Kalanthia snorts.
And hear only what you have told her to say? I think not. I pause, momentarily derailed before picking up my train of thought again.
“Well, you can still tell if I’m lying or not in my mind.” I’ve closed the distance between us enough by now that I can start seeing some details of her body and I see her looking at me thoughtfully. I know I’ve only made this much headway because she’s not been actively working against me for the past while, but even the non-focussed pressure between us is enough to challenge me. If she actively starts resisting me, I’ll be blown back to my starting point before I can say ‘Kalanthia!’.
Out of respect for that, and to prove that I meant what I said when I told her I wasn’t trying to actually win this Battle of Wills, I pause my movement forwards as soon as I can see enough of her to properly read her body language. Plus, we’re now probably ‘touching souls’ or whatever happens when I start being able to feel my opponent’s emotions – and they mine.
Kalanthia’s dominant emotion right now is one of consideration, as if she’s weighing up pros and cons of a decision. If it’s one about whether to let me live or not, I’m seriously hoping that the pros outweigh the cons. But for now, I’ve said my piece; speaking more would just weaken my position.
Let me into your mind and if your memories and thoughts match your words, I will let you live, she says finally, her voice resolute.
“Like you did with River when we first came back with Lathani?” I ask, a little dubiously.
Yes.
I grimace a little: even second-hand I’d felt the pain of what she’d done to him. Actually, why does she need permission anyway? Isn’t reading minds something she does all the time? Sort of, anyway? Unless maybe her telepathy is a bit like my Flesh-Shaping – possible to do with or without permission, but a lot easier with permission.
“Alright, fine,” I say after a few moments of thought.
Although I’m a bit nervous about what she might find in there – my thoughts aren’t all pure or well-meaning, after all – and not too keen on having myself completely laid bare, I’m also rather attached to my life. If this is the only way she’ll be willing to agree with me keeping it, I’m willing to let her into my mind.
Hopefully this way will also maintain a reasonable relationship between Kalanthia and me too – although I might be able to escape or hurt Kalanthia enough that she couldn’t follow us, that would mean making her an irreconcilable enemy. Not what I want. I’m willing to take one on the chin if it means avoiding that.
“Do you want to do it now?” I ask, a little concerned: I suspect that it might shatter the soul-space around us.
No, this is your domain. We must do it in mine, she tells me, eliminating that possibility anyway.
“OK, I’ll exit this space. I won’t be able to move for a few seconds after,” I warn, before wondering whether I should have revealed that vulnerability.
It matters not. You do not have to move for me to read your thoughts.
Joy, I say to myself sarcastically, before stepping backwards.
The Battle of Wills space shatters around me as I intentionally fail it, and I mentally sigh in relief as a burden falls away from my metaphysical shoulders. A headache blooms, sharp and strong, and I feel liquid trickling down from my nose. Am I bleeding?
Without being able to raise my hand, I can’t tell, but since I didn’t have a cold earlier, I don’t think it’s mucus. Did I actually cause myself some damage?
Before I can send healing magic through to check my brain’s condition, I see Kalanthia moving towards me.
Perhaps healing my brain after she’s done digging through it would be a better option anyway.