We’re next to the river. It’s a bit of a detour to where I want to go, but necessary for what I need right now, though I’m going to have to figure out a way to get water closer to the cave. Even with Earth-Shaping I think it would take too long – the river is pretty far away from the Energy Hearts’ cavern. Hmm, maybe Kalanthia would be open to a trade….

For later consideration. For now, I quickly cast another Inspect Environment, my third in the last few minutes. I’m just very wary of what might be lying in wait in the river. All my Bound currently present are watching carefully too. This is probably one of the safest level ups I’ve done recently, but we are further down in the valley than most times I’ve done it. It’s following pretty quickly on the heels of my previous level up, but that’s what spending a large quantity of time near Pure Energy does.

With no sign of anything about to attack, I quickly strip off my clothes and armour, leaving them in a neat pile on the river bank – even if I can clean my spider silk undergarments and my hide and chitin armour with magic after they’re covered in gunk, it’s better not to need to.

Heading into the river, I go in up to my waist to the point where the current starts tugging at me slightly, then close my eyes and focus.

Once more, I’ve decided that I need to invest some more points in Willpower. We’re about to return to the village which means it’s time to Bind the rest of the Warriors – having more Willpower will ease the slight strain I can already feel from the number of Dominate Bonds I hold.

Of course, the possibility remains that I use Tame instead of Dominate, or even Alliance, but I still don’t know whether I trust the samurans enough for that. Although I was grateful for them not attacking River when she – he, at the time – entered the village with an intention to stop the shaman, the fact that they did step aside proves that even the loyalty of the Warriors has its limits. Or rather, it’s loyalty to the village generally rather than the leader of the village specifically. Which means that if one of them decides he doesn’t agree with what I’m doing, I could find a spear planted in my back.

Obviously the easy solution to that is to not make myself unpopular, but I can’t guarantee that. Hopefully everything I’ve got planned will be obviously for the benefit of the village, but it’s true that for the Unevolved to benefit more, the Warriors will benefit less. Having lingering resentment over that could be problematic. That’s another advantage of the Dominate Bond – even aside from its guarantee of my safety, it gives me an insight into what my Bound are feeling, allowing me to discover that resentment before it turns into hatred. Tame doesn’t necessarily help me with that.

So, for now, I’m definitely going to make sure all the Tier twos in the village are Bound to me with Dominate. Which means I need more Willpower.

However, that’s not all I need.

This time, I decide to add a single point each to all of my physical stats. I’m determined to put a full level up into both Intelligence and Wisdom, but since I need the Willpower this time, I’ll do that on my next two level ups. Which means I need to shore up the gap a bit between my physical stats and my mental and soul ones. I’ve already experienced what happens if they get too out of balance, and my soul stat is a bit of a monster already.

I’ll probably need to dedicate a level up to each of my physical stats too, but I’ll do that after Intelligence and Wisdom: those are more urgent since I use so much mana on a daily basis.

Triggering my level up, I assign three points to Willpower, one to Constitution, one to Dexterity (Flexibility), and one to Strength (Endurance). I pick Flexibility because I have a theory that it’s not only talking about physical flexibility. If it can make me more adaptable and able to think of ideas outside the box, that can only help. I dedicated the Strength one to Endurance because I want the stamina. I don’t use Power a huge amount these days, but I do run out of stamina from time to time.

As I watch the symphony erupt in my Core space, I notice how it clashes a bit. Not in a way that seems like it’s detrimental, more in a discordancy which is somehow harmonious if you listen to it carefully. It’s fascinating to watch – as interesting as watching a single stat be increased, but in a different way.

The wave of Energy erupts from my Core as usual, but after that it is far less unanimous. Some of it goes to expand my Core space – the points towards Willpower. Other bits flow into my body and do something there. Strength, I would guess. Or maybe Dexterity. My mental presence frowns as I try to follow it.

At the same time, something impacts my channels themselves. Again, there is too much confusion with clashing energies to see exactly what’s happening there, but I can tell that at least one of them is affecting my Energy channels. I didn’t expect that: I know it’s not Willpower which means that one of my physical stats has an impact on my channels.

Something I do notice which concerns me a little is that some of my Energy channels look a little…brittle. Almost…corroded. They’re the channels furthest away from my Core, the ones which emerge from my Core space to absorb Energy from my environment.

I’m troubled by what I saw as I watch the final act of the level up, the way the Energy all rushes back to my Core and then explodes outwards, taking the motes of bronze impurities with it. I remain troubled as I wash off the disgusting mess that covers my skin with soap and cold water.

Why would the ends of my Energy channels be corroded? And it isn’t because of Raven’s acidic mana attacks: I’ve already dealt with those issues. So this is something else that’s happened since. Could it be to do with Earth-Shaping? I don’t see why it would be that, but I can’t really think of anything else it might be either.

I’ll need to investigate the problem in more detail, but not now.

As soon as I’m clean, I walk back towards my clothes. My Bound are still being reassuringly attentive, especially since I’ve been far deeper in my thoughts than I probably should be in the middle of the forest.

After getting dressed, we all set off again. Sirocco’s gone ahead to check on the village, making sure that everything is well with them. She’s been a bit bored over the last five days – three of them with me stuck underground learning Earth-Shaping; the other day and a half also spent underground harvesting Energy Hearts.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

We’ve had all hands on deck – well, paws, mostly – to collect as many of them as possible. Not that anyone complained about needing to be in contact with crystallised Energy. In fact, I rather had to practically order them away to eat, drink and rest in between shifts.

In fact, I’ve noticed that all of my present Tier one Bound have gone up significantly in progress towards the next tier. The most amount of progress was made by Lathani who is already at eighty percent towards Tier two. Fenrir has also made good progress and is right on the cusp of Evolution. In fact, Bastet had to recommend that he be barred from the team working on Energy Hearts – apparently he should use an actual beast Core for the final push to Evolution. He’s therefore been absorbing the danaris’ Core, but hasn’t quite triggered his change yet.

Sirocco is another who’s close to Evolution at ninety-five percent. She hasn’t been involved much in the excavation of Energy Hearts, though, not liking the small spaces underground. Apparently she’s been close enough to the Pure Energy to gain six percent at least.

My avian companion would have made the slowest progress of all of the Bound who came with me – and survived – except for the surprisingly little progress made by Honey. The honey badger-like woshel’s Bond came to an end a couple of days ago, but apparently she likes being with us enough to want to extend it. Much like Sirocco, she didn’t want to be too tightly bound, but she did want to be part of the group. Bastet was happy to not lose another member of her little scouting band, so Honey now has a relatively permanent Tame Bond, unless one of us decides to break it.

She only managed to gain three percent progress to the next tier, which I have to guess is because of the significant damage she sustained from Raven’s acid mana attacks. Actually, maybe that’s why Fenrir hasn’t made it to the next tier? Working on finding a way to heal the damage made to the Energy channels of my Bound is definitely high on my priority list – and it’s even more urgent if the damage is affecting the progress they make to the next tier. Only stabilising the samuran village is higher.

As we approach the village, the huts becoming visible through the trees, I notice Iandee tense up even more than he has been recently. The normally garrulous young samuran Warrior has been worryingly quiet over the last five days. I can tell that Shrieks and Lee are concerned about him too. I’ve been giving him space; I don’t know what the other samurans have been doing. Guilt goes through me again as I conclude that it’s probably the deaths of two of his brothers which has caused the change.

What’s wrong? I find myself asking him. At least I manage to keep it as a private message, even if I probably shouldn’t have sent it at all.

For a long moment, during which the huts and fence of the village come properly into view, I think that he’s not going to respond. And then he does.

I shouldn’t be here, he says with a hint of despair in his mental voice.

Why not? I ask, surprised. It certainly wasn’t what I was expecting to hear.

Murmurs-quietly should be here, not me, he replies, as if desperate to say it, as if he’s been holding it in for too long. And now I recognise what I’m feeling from his side of things. It’s so similar to my own emotions that I couldn’t identify it. Sometimes we’re blind to what is right in front of us. He feels guilty. Terribly, horribly guilty.

Why do you feel that way? I ask gently.

He pushed me out of the way; took the attack which was meant for me. The attack which killed him. Ah. Survivor’s guilt. Hello darkness, my old friend.

Iandee, I start, then I check myself. I change direction, moving over to where he is and stopping next to him, my hand on his shoulder holding him in place despite the lack of force I put into it. The rest of the group looks at us curiously.

“Everyone else keep going,” I tell them firmly. “We’ll catch up.” This close to the village, I doubt there are many threats that we won’t be able to handle, especially not with everyone else in shouting distance.

We must enter with the leader, rumbles Shrieks. We will not be welcome if we do not, he points out. Traditions, right.

“Alright then, just…give us a bit of space, OK?” Even if we are communicating mentally, I feel like it’s right to ask for that. Especially since the samurans find it difficult not to let their emotions spill into their spikes even when not actually speaking aloud. I know they can stop it, but it takes a lot of effort and practice.

When the rest of the party has withdrawn a little, I turn to face Iandee, both hands on his shoulders, my head almost close enough to his extended jaw to bump into it.

Eats-dirt, I say, the use of his full name apparently startling him. Listen to me, OK? I’ve been there. I’ve felt that it should have been me who died rather than a family member. And I’ll ask you what my…friend asked me. Do you think that Murmurs-quietly would want you to be consumed by guilt and be unable to live after his death?

No, but it was my fault-

It wasn’t, I refute firmly. If anything, it’s my fault that you were all in that situation to begin with. I let that sink in, the surprise flaring through his spikes and the Bond telling me that he hadn’t considered that. I could have made a different choice. We could have retreated, or not investigated the tunnel at all. Perhaps we would all be alive now, or perhaps we would all die later from the consequence of those choices. But it’s not your fault that you were in that position.

But if I’d fought better… he trails off, guilt flaring again.

Then perhaps he would have died later, or you’d have died when he wasn’t able to save you, or perhaps neither of you would have died. We don’t know. We can’t know. All we can do is move forward from here. And I ask you again, do you think that Murmurs-quietly died wanting you to be consumed in guilt? Or wanting you to live?

I think I’m getting through to him. Thoughtfulness creeps through the guilt and self-condemnation which had been roiling together inside him until now. I should have spoken to him sooner, but I honestly thought he blamed me for the attack, not himself. I was trying to let his brothers help him. Maybe that was a mistake.

He would want me to live, Iandee concludes finally.

Then live, I say simply. Don’t forget his sacrifice, but be grateful for it rather than guilty. It’s easier said than done; I know that better than most. But I wish him better luck than I’ve had with actually putting those words into practice.

Patting his shoulders, I turn and start making my way back to the rest of the group. A moment later, a scaled and clawed hand lands on the opposite shoulder to where Aingeal is bobbing up and down. I pause and turn back to Iandee. I’m not worried about an attack: all I feel through the Bond is gratitude.

Thank you, he says simply, then steps forward to rub his cheek against mine. I’m frozen for a moment, enough for him to step back again. Then, sending another pulse of gratitude down the Bond to me, he looks at me expectantly, sending glances towards the rest of the group. Oh. OK.

I start moving towards the rest of my Bound, still feeling a bit off-balance.

Was that a samuran version of a hug or something? I hope I’m not misunderstanding flirting gestures again!