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Taming Destiny - a Tamer Class isekai/portal survival fantasy.
Book Four: Expansion - Chapter Four: I Don’t Want To Be Alone

Book Four: Expansion - Chapter Four: I Don’t Want To Be Alone

As Kalanthia walks towards me, I sense my Bound tense, ready to attack. Lathani shifts over me, having obviously moved to guard me while I was vulnerable in the Battle of Wills.

It’s OK, I send to all of them at the same time. We’ve talked. She’s going to look at my memories. Then I consider what might happen if Kalanthia decides that I wasn’t justified in Binding her cub. But be prepared to move anyway, just in case, I add.

The massive nunda stops when she’s less than the length of my body away. Honestly, even if my Bound are prepared, I doubt they’ll be able to move fast enough to do anything.

Move to the side, Lathani, I hear Kalanthia tell her cub, muffled through our connection. The nunda cub tenses for a moment, but then reluctantly complies with shifting off me. Instead of moving to the side, though, she puts herself between her mother and me. Do the protective aspects of Dominate apply to Companion Bond too? Even if the Bound in question started with a Tame Bond? And what about the inclination towards obedience? I’ll have to ask Lathani later and hope she has enough self-awareness to be able to tell the difference.

However, to be able to even ask her, I need to survive the next few minutes. With the way Kalanthia has placed herself, she’s looking directly into my eyes, unimpeded by Lathani’s body.

Bracing myself, I prepare for Kalanthia to start her work, but nothing could prepare me for the actual experience.

Her eyes boring into mine, I feel like I’m falling within them, while simultaneously feeling her tunnel inside me. It’s a very different sensation from the Pure Energy, though, I muse in the moment before the pain hits.

Suddenly, it feels like a needle the size of my finger is piercing my brain. I grimace and can’t prevent myself from trying to close my eyes. A shiver of fear goes down my spine as I realise that I can’t close them. Nor can I move under her gaze – it’s like there truly is a needle pinning me in place.

River coped with this without letting out a cry, I say to myself stubbornly. I’m not going to either. Clenching my jaw, I set myself to enduring this, remembering belatedly that I can use Sensation Management to dull the pain a bit.

I sense Kalanthia flicking through my memories, odd snippets of conversation or half-seen images flashing up unbidden. It’s much like I remember the most severe period of my PTSD was after the accident with my mother: a memory would surge up from the darkness below and grab me by the throat without my direction. And during the worst of the times, I was unable to exit the memory until it released me either.

This is very much reminiscent of that, without the strong emotional component of my PTSD flashbacks. I never experienced as much pain then as now, though. I’m reluctant to use Sensation Management too much – if I don’t know that I’m injured, I won’t be able to heal it.

When the needle finally pulls back, it leaves my mind feeling as sore as if I genuinely have just had a thick piece of metal shoved into it. And maybe I did, in mental terms – perhaps my mind was forced to yield to the telepathic intrusion as much as flesh would be forced to give way to the piercing of sharp metal. Still I don’t think that any damage has been done, certainly nothing that won’t heal with a bit of time.

While I didn’t see a lot of the actual memories she examined, I saw enough of the flashes that I can tell she was mainly looking at the last few days, in particular the moments with Lathani linked to both Bonds. What I can’t tell is how she feels about them. She could have been angrily pawing through them or methodically inspecting them – I don’t have enough experience with having my mind ransacked to know the difference.

Kalanthia blinks and turns her attention elsewhere. The paralysis from ‘failing’ the Battle of Wills wore off a while ago, but I was forced to remain unmoving. Even now, I stay still: I’m anxious to know how Kalanthia is feeling about things before I draw her attention back to me.

Through my connection with Lathani, I sense that her mother is now interrogating her instead. Not surprising, really – she’s heard and seen my side of the story; now she wants Lathani’s. Well, now she’s willing to actually listen to it properly.

Whether she doesn’t know that I can eavesdrop on the conversation, or she doesn’t care, I’m not planning on giving up the advantage unless she actively objects. As before, they don’t exactly communicate in words, but their thoughts are so well directed that it takes little effort for me to put their mental speech into something that makes more sense to me.

You agreed to two chains, Lathani. Two! Why?!

I had a moment of enlightenment, mother, Lathani says, a little subdued, but with a core of defiance running below the surface.

Enlightenment? Kalanthia asks, startled.

Yes.I want to be part of their group, Lathani tells her, more of that defiance coming through this time. It’s the best thing for me.

You’re a nunda, Lathani. You don’t need to be part of a group. We’re not pack Beasts; we’re apex predators! A group will hold you back, prevent you from being all you can become.

My moment of enlightenment said exactly the opposite. Just because you and my sire are solitary apex predators, does that mean I have to be too? Lathani hesitates for a moment. Mother… maybe…maybe I’m not like other nundas.

What do you mean? Kalanthia asks, sounding confused. I have to admit that I am too. I’ve been trying to get Lathani to tell me exactly why she prompted the second Bond ever since it happened, but she’s been rather tight-mouthed over it all, and what she has said has been confusing. Perhaps Kalanthia will be able to get more out of her.

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I…. Lathani hesitates, fear winding sickly through the connection between us. You won’t hate me? She sounds so much like a plaintive cub that my heart goes out to her.

Never, her mother promises.

Perhaps I'm different because…of what the lizard-folk did.

Explain, the adult nunda demands, her own mental connection suddenly emotionless, like she’s intentionally keeping her reaction back.

They wanted to make me into a protector, right? Into a spirit loyal to them, who would fight danger with them and…help them.

That seems likely, Kalanthia agrees, though still as flatly as before.

I think they succeeded. But not in making me loyal to them.

The Binder has made you loyal to him instead? Kalanthia hisses, her hackles rising and her tail starting to lash angrily. If I kill him then your forcibly transferred loyalty shall be sundered. You will be free.

No! shouted Lathani urgently. I mean, yes, but not in the way you think. Mentally, I roll my eyes. How eloquent…Hopefully she doesn’t talk me into getting killed rather than out of it. The next moment, I feel bad for my scathing thoughts: Lathani’s doing her best. It’s not her fault she’s an awkward teenager who’s unable to properly explain herself to an angry parent – I didn’t do much better with my own parents in that situation either.

Then tell me, Lathani! Kalanthia demands forcefully.

Pack-leader has never been anything other than good to me. He’s played with me, fed me, taught me, and saved my life multiple times. I owe him for that.

Which is exactly why I rewarded him every time he saved you, emphasised Kalanthia. Debts must be paid, but you should have waited to get back here. I would have rewarded him on your behalf, as your mother. You did not need to allow yourself to be chained to him.

But I wanted to! Lathani shouts back at her mother. I like spending time with him. I like spending time with the other elders. The time I spent Bound to him was… The next part of the communication is not translatable into words. Instead, it’s a sensation of joy and connection and togetherness that warms my heart. Mother…I know what you’ve been trying to teach me when we go out. I know you’re trying to make me independent. But…maybe I don’t want to be independent like you. And…I don’t want to be alone.

Lathani…. Kalanthia sounds like she doesn’t quite understand where her cub is coming from. I get it, kind of. But I don’t want her motivation to Bond with me to be from fear of being independent. I guess I’ll have to see how things work out. If Kalanthia doesn’t kill me or force the sundering of the Bond, that is.

Lathani, my cub, the adult nunda starts again. You are young, inexperienced. Your growth has been affected by those pests but that is not permanent – in time you will barely remember it. I can’t help but feel a little sceptical at her thoughts here – not only do I have my own memories of enduring childhood trauma, but she’s indicated that she does too. So either she thinks that whatever she went through was worse than Lathani’s experiences, or she’s hoping that Lathani will be able to do what she can’t.

You will grow into your paws; you are like any other nunda juvenile in that. Independence requires experience, and judgement, Kalanthia continues soothingly. Both come with age. But this Bond? You have marked your soul. If you end the Bond now, there will forever be scars, but they will be limited. If you wait for yourself to feel more capable of independence, the scars at the Bond’s end will become much, much deeper.

But I don’t want to give up the Bond, Lathani says sincerely, though a hint of petulance comes through with her words. I like it. I’m suddenly struck by the uneasy thought that I am now Bonded to a teenager, by her own decision. Is that morally wrong?

She’s very much still exploring her place in the world – maybe now she’s keen on being part of our group, thinking that that’s what she wants to do with her life but what happens if she changes her mind in a year’s time? Or ten years’ time? Once, I wanted to be a fireman. Then I wanted to be an astronaut. Later, I realised that I wanted neither. What if Lathani is as changeable as younger-me? Suddenly, I understand a little more about where Kalanthia’s coming from here.

The main issue is that if I break the Bond now, it burns a bridge. I remember what the Companion Bond description said: A Bond once broken may not be reinstated. While the description did indicate that another Bond might be able to be created, it almost certainly wouldn’t be Companion Bond. And I’m not too keen on just breaking the Bond I have simply for the sake of breaking it.

The thing is that though I didn’t ask Lathani to reinstate the Bond between us, or make it into a Companion Bond instead of Tame one…as long as Kalanthia doesn’t kill me over it, I’m not actually upset about having it. Lathani can be a bit of a pain sometimes, but it’s the way Trouble is – she’s my pain.

While I haven’t known her for all that long, I feel like I’ve been there through multiple significant moments in her life. I was there when she was attacked by the wolvezard. I rescued her from the lizard-folk. I reunited her with her mother. Between my Bound and I, we’ve helped her develop a fair bit as a hunter and been part of battles with her. I definitely feel at least an uncle to her at this point.

So to break the Bond with her when she doesn’t want to, just because of her mother’s qualms doesn’t sit well with me. Through her decision to Bond with me, I now have more ability to keep her alive. That could be by actively keeping her out of danger: with her in a Companion Bond, she will be forced by the connection between us to stay on the sidelines if I order it. She wouldn’t like it, and I won’t do it unless I absolutely have to, but it’s possible.

The other protective aspects are the same as I offer all my Bound: a telepathic network to call for help, mana stores in the body, and now the ability for each Bound to use one attack from any other member of the group. In addition to her natural advantages, these should keep her safe. Plus, I might even work out how to send healing down a mental link: I certainly managed to pull mana from River that one time.

Putting aside my emotional connection to her, though, there are very good practical reasons for keeping Lathani close, though I had better not think about them too hard while near her mother: they are the same reasons for why Kalanthia was so afraid that I would Bind her in the first place. But it’s only necessary to look at Kalanthia herself to recognise most of them.

So, overall, I’m not going to break the Bond unilaterally. I might have offered the Tame Bond, but Lathani’s the one to make herself into a Companion. If she decides later down the line that she wishes to break it, that’s her right – she has the power to end it at any moment.

But it remains to be seen if Kalanthia will understand that. And even if she understand it, whether she will accept it.