GhoulSpawn crept close to ZooLock to get a better look at the strange squid priest and immediately the Thullid began screaming and trying to escape.

"What is your problem now?" Quaraun asked.

"Please! If you value all that is holy, keep GhoulSpawn and the Gremlin away from me. I must never touch either. The space time continuum depends upon it."

"What are you talking about?"

"I can not explain. I dare not explain."

"The Gremlin?" GhoulSpawn asked. "Does he mean my car?"

"No," Quaraun answered, looking back at the orange AMC. "He means the future version of you."

"Me?"

"You from the future was here earlier with some warning about not going into that village up ahead."

"And I called myself The Gremlin?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Apparently at some point you became infected with a Thullid larvae and changed your name to distinguish the Thullid from the dead half-Elf 's corpse that was your host."

"You mean I was dead, like you?"

"Something like that."

"What happened to me?"

"I don't know."

"I died and he stole my body and it living in it?"

"Apparently."

"That's awful! I don't want to die."

"No one does."

"I did!" Unicorn piped in. "I killed meself on account of I no more wanted to live, and idiot here resurrected me."

"You killed yourself?" GhoulSpawn asked.

"Aye."

"Why?"

"Be still me beating heart. I was dying of infection. Did more want to suffer."

"The still beating heart of a unicorn!"

"What?"

"Something my father used to do," GhoulSpawn said. "He'd walk up, hands cupped and closed so as to hide something, and then he'd tell me to open my hands, the goal being that he would dump whatever he was hiding into my palm. Could be anything. Cicada skin. A frog or frog's eggs..."

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

"Eggs?" Quaraun interrupted. "Do frogs lay eggs?"

"He... ya son of a tit!" Unicorn said. "Ya is a rather stupid Elf ya know."

GhoulSpawn didn't seem to notice the interruption and continued talking. "The still beating heart of a unicorn. The point was always the same: for me to find delight in being grossed out."

"The still beating heart of a unicorn?" Unicorn asked, wide eyed.

"Yes. The heart keeps beating once it's cut out, but not for long. You have to work fast with spells requiring unicorn hearts."

Unicorn looked mortified.

"Ya was no joking when ya said that?"

"No. I never joke. I don't have it in me."

"Your father killed Unicorns?" Quaraun asked.

"Yeah. Was kind of his thing. Horns, heart, and hooves, all have huge magical properties."

"Elves avoid killing whenever possible. Being a Unicorn Hunter, that's a strange thing for an Elf to do," Quaraun said.

"No," GhoulSpawn shook his head. "My father wasn't ... He ... Uhm ... It was my mother who was the Elf ... My father ... he ... uhm ... he liked killing things. He liked to hear them scream. Strangled agonies of death. Said it reminded him of home. He kind of got kick out because he wasn't ... uhm ... evil enough."

"Evil enough? What kind of tribe did he come from?"

"They valued evil acts as... the more evil you were the better they liked you. I lived with them for a while ... but ... I guess I've too much Elf in me. I ... I ... uhm ... I couldn't kill things. Faeries and Pixies and Gnomes and Humans and Elves and Kelpies and Unicorns and ... I couldn't do it. They'd take me on hunts over and over again. Get a kill bound and laying in front of me, put a blade in my hand and tell me to slit it's throat. They'd all be cheering me on. And then I drop the knife and run. I couldn't do it. I couldn't take a like. Then I'd listen... to the screams. The horrible screams, begging for mercy, begging for their life, still alive through the whole thing, as they were tore apart and devoured."

GhoulSpawn stopped talking and stared, his eyes wide with terror, staring into the distance as though watching the memories play before him. Seeing that GhoulSpawn had spaced out and retreated into his own head once again, Unicorn took the opportunity to seduce Quaraun. A devilish look came into Unicorn's eyes.

"Ya soft ivory shoulders beckon to me," Unicorn said soothingly as he kissed the Elf.

Quaraun, briefly hypnotized by the Phooka's touch, mesmerized by the scent of the Phooka's hair, tingling under the soft caress of Unicorn's talon clawed finger tips. Quaraun never dreamed, Unicorn's razor clawed hands could feel so warm and gentle. Flames of passion burned within them both. A tremor heightened inside his thighs and groin. Quaraun wanted desperately to yield to the flooding sweetness that captivated his senses, as Unicorn's hands gently caressed him.

Suddenly, Quaraun snapped out of his trance and pushed Unicorn off him.

"Unicorn, stop it," Quaraun said bluntly.

"Why?"

"Because we're not alone for one thing."

The Phooka gazed at the Necromancer's warm, shapely throat.

"Ya has such a lovely slender white neck," Unicorn purred seductively, as he leaned closer to Quaraun.

"You're not biting me," Quaraun stated, backing away from the Phooka.

"I did no say I was."

Quaraun sighed. He was weary from arguing with Unicorn.

"You're talking about my neck," Quaraun said.

"Aye."

Unicorn climbed on the Elf again, kissing his shoulders and slowly pulling the Elf's clothes off.

"That means you want to bite me. STOP IT!"

Quaraun shoved Unicorn hard enough to knock him on the floor.

The Faerie just sat there laughing as he watched Quaraun readjust his bright pink feather boa, so that it covered his neck and shoulders from view.

"You're annoying me," Quaraun growled as he bit his lip until it throbbed like his pulse.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why? How the hell should I know why you are annoying me?"