Typer’s room: GREETINGS FRIENDS! (LATE) MERRY CHRISMTAS YOU ALL!

You see, me and the author from Insania Online and (Re)Install decided to get together and make a three part Christmas special crossover! Why? No idea! Don’t go expecting anything grand happening, though, as the idea is mostly what would happen if the characters found themselves in a room together, so instead of content, we are focusing more on the flow of the story. (If it wasn’t clear enough, I’m also the author of the two other fics, okay?) Anyway, each part will be posted in one of the stories and will be posted one the day before, during, and the day after (hopefully). I know not everyone read all stories, so I will make sure to at least post a link here after they are posted.

Be warned that this special was hastily created, thus the fourth wall is very feeble, so expect some leaks during this story.

May your reading be enjoyable.

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PART ONE

“I have no idea what that is, but now we’ve started talking!” Mister Golem said with an amused expression while leaning back on his chair. I gave a brief look towards Miss Tian and she nodded with satisfaction.

Well, it didn’t really take long for the two of us to notice that this strange stony person who was in front of us was actually just baiting us to tell more about ourselves. Though we weren’t quite sure about his reason, we didn’t feel like it would be too problematic to talk about ourselves.

In fact, if I had to guess, it seems mostly that his reason is so that he gets to see something amusing.

“Hmm… Spiritualist are...” I started before stopping myself and choosing my words. I wasn’t quite sure on how to word it, but luckily the professional took over for me.

“Spiritualist are people who use the spirit that permeates both the air and their own bodies to mold them into Chi.” Master Roshi said in a slow and calm tone, like when he was teaching us. “Afterwards, we can use said chi to enhance our own bodies and become stronger and allow us to use specific techniques that would be impossible for humans otherwise.”

“Oooh? Like?” The golem asked with an amused expression.

“Walking in the air!” I replied instantly, remembering that time with mother. This, however, got a gentle smile from Master Roshi, who patted my head for a moment while giving a brief chuckle.

“Yes. Indeed. That is possible, but it requires a specific alignment and much training to achieve.” He said with a laugh.

“...Is that a joke?” The white haired girl with cat ears asked in her expressionless tone.

I didn’t really like her very much, seeing how hard it was to read her expression. Peeking at miss Tian, I noticed that she also shared the same feeling as me. Another thing that bothered me a lot was that she was a bit too quiet all this time, mostly simply using her own fan to hide her expression and watching everyone closely.

While I wondered why she was being too cautious, I decided that for now it would be better to simply follow her and avoid talking too much. Or at least was what I had decided, but since the subject of the talk changed to us, we couldn’t exactly keep quiet.

“By any chance did you miss the fact that Yuu here created an ice spear out of nowhere not even five minutes ago?” Surprisingly, the one who defended the group was the Golem himself, who then pointed towards the kitsune at his side who was calmly and graciously eating her food.

“...Point taken.” The girl said before turning to us. “Sorry for being rude.”

“It is understandable. Even for us, those who walk in the air as young Lia here said are extremely rare.” Roshi said while shaking his head. After stopping to think for a moment, I finally nodded. In fact, I don’t think I even saw any other type of use of spiritualism besides what mother did back when I was a baby. “However, there are some other smaller things that someone of my level is capable of doing.”

Both me and Tian blinked surprised while spying Master Roshi. With our training to the point where we were, we still didn’t get much insight on what we would be able to do once we became more skilled.

The others also turned to him curious. More specifically, the white haired girl and the girl with two long black tails. The golem also looked interested, but I could somehow tell that the way he was interested was different from these two girls.

“Well, with my current level and techniques, I could say that I have a very tough skin.” He said with a small awkward smile. Both me and Tian looked at him confused.

“Would it be a bother if I were to ask for a demonstration, Mister Roshi?” The two tailed girl asked with a curious tone.

Master Roshi nodded with a kind smile, which received a confused glance from mister golem. Meanwhile, I didn’t miss the fact that Lady Tian seemingly got interested on the girl. It took me a while to understand the reason, but after looking at her for some time I finally got it.

From the way she had acted earlier when she attacked Yllia… Yvilia… The Cat girl, and when she was smiling while being petted, which I couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous, it wasn’t very obvious, but now that she was calmer, the way she looked and acted was very refined. Almost like a noble.

Hmm… Did Tian notice that before me and watched her words so she wouldn’t say something troublesome?

While I tilted my head to the side confused, the girl noticed me and gave me a brief smile from the other side of the table.

She was really pretty...

“...Are you sure about that, old man?” I snapped out of my curiosity when the golem asked something. Blinking, I looked around and noticed as the golem touched himself around the chest in what looked like an action he was used to, before frowning and looking to the other group.

“No need to worry, young man… Erm… Young gole… Sir golem...” Master Roshi started, but became confused on how to refer to mister golem, who only gave a brief laugh and waved his hand saying that he didn’t mind. The other group that had the robot also looked amongst themselves for some time after finally shaking their heads.

“Don’t worry about it.” Mister Golem said and looked towards the cute cat with furry antennae, who was sharing a piece of meat with the small blue fox. “Hey, Furball. Get us a knife, will yah?”

I blinked confused at his words, but what surprised me even more was when the cat meowed in response and suddenly a knife popped up in his paw. Everyone on the table almost jumped in surprise at the scene before the cat offered the strange red knife to Master Roshi, who took it with a hint of suspicion.

From my time at father’s Smithy, I could say that it was roughly done, but the color and feel it had were strange, looking almost crystalline to me. While feeling curious about the knife, I watched as Master Roshi quickly examined the blade before nodding and pulling his sleeve up.

It took me a moment to understand what he was going to do, but before I even had the chance to react, Master Roshi brought down the blade against his hand. Me and Tian held our breaths in surprise.

Then, the blade shattered against his skin with a loud sound.

“Oooh! Now that was a amazing!” Mister golem said with an amazed voice.

Me and Tian nodded in agreement, seeing how it was the first time we saw something like that, but Master Roshi simply shook his head with a wry smile, as if saying that it wasn’t much.

“This isn’t even praiseworthy. Even these two girls will be able to do something like this in a couple of months.”

“Eh? Really?” I asked surprised, but master Roshi simply nodded.

“Indeed. This is one of the most basic skills that all spiritualist learn.” He said with a brief nod.

“Ooh! That’s nifty!” Mister golem said with an amazed voice before frowning and looking at us. “Say, would I have to meditate and stuff to do that?”

“Yes...”

“Guh. Denied before even trying!” Mister Golem said while his face fell on the table once again.

“Could you teach us?” The white haired girl asked.

“Muu… I don’t think you can.” I said with a wry tone. “No one here have an inner spirit.”

“Inner spirit?” Miss Yuu asked curious.

“Yes. It is a kind of prerequisite before learning spiritualism.” Tian replied. “Cute plebeian here is specially sensitive to that kind of thing.” She said full of pride, so I decided to also stick my chest out too. To my surprise, the white haired woman gave me a brief smile before nodding and putting back an indifferent gaze.

“I see, so it is a talent thing besides hardworking, huh?” Mister golem said with a nod. “So, not even Yuu here have that talent?” He pointed to the girl besides him, but I simply shook my head. “...Somehow I’m glad. Yuu is already as overpowered as she is right now.” He said while taking the fragments of the knife and gathering them in his hands.

“Speaking of Miss Yuu...” I said when he mentioned her name, making his attention gather on me. “Is she a noble by any chance? She looks so refined and cool!” I said while putting my best amazed look.

“...Indeed. That has been bothering me since earlier.” Lady Tian said with a nod after understanding what was my intent in asking that question. “I must say that your manners are extremely exquisite.” I didn’t miss the fact that Lady Tian peeked at Mister Golem, as if saying that he wasn’t the case.

“Me? A noble?” Miss Yuu asked surprised before shaking her head.”No. From where we come from, we don’t have nobility.” She replied in a teaching tone. I nodded in agreement, but Miss Tian and Master Roshi both stared at her wide eyed.

“No Nobility? Then who is in the power in your country?” Miss Tian asked shocked.

“We use a different kind of government system that would take too long to explain in this small special chapter.” Mister golem said briefly. “But basically, most of our country use another kind of government system.

“I-Is that so?” Miss Tian asked surprised. “I see... I was mistaken then.”

“Well, that said, my family is a traditionalist one that leans heavily on these kinds of customs, so i’ve been trained like this since I was a child.” Miss Yuu explained patiently, and both me and Miss Tian nodded understanding.

“I see, so that is where you had your training.” Master Roshi added with an acknowledging nod before turning towards Miss Ylliav… Ylli. “Is that similar to you?”

“No. Job requirements.” She replied briefly.

“We… Yllivia is part of a mercenary group.” The strange red girl said shyly. “She is a Close quarters expert.”

“Heeh! So you are mercenaries!” I said honestly surprised due to her age, but the girl shook her head hastily.

“No. I’m a… Scientist. Only Yllivia and Beepy...” She lowered her head while blushing heavily.

“Scientist?” Master Roshi asked.

“Researcher.” Mister Golem replied briefly.

“Oh! And so young!” Master Roshi said surprised while looking at her again. “You must be extremely talented then!” He said. “It seems we have quite a gathering of talented younglings in this table!” Master Roshi sounded cheerful while saying that.

“Not quite. I’m just your average hard-headed guy who is too reckless for his own good.” Mister Golem said with a raised hand, and I couldn’t help but giggle a little at his annoyed face. “Bunch of talented bastards.” He said with a pout before looking away.

The crystal girl smiled wryly at his words while the cat started laughing at him. The cute blue fox looked at him wearily for a moment before nudging her head beneath his hand.

I smiled wryly at the scene before preparing to say something, but just at that moment, I felt as someone started approaching the house at a scary speed. The moment I noticed that, I quickly stood up from the chair and looked upwards, towards the direction that strange person was approaching.

Tian and Master Roshi both reacted in synchrony, standing up and taking position, with Miss Tian behind me and Master Roshi in front of us.

Their reactions was half as expected, seeing that they already knew about my sensibility. However, I became sincerely surprised when I noticed that the others also became ready, with Miss Ylli and the cool looking wolf robot standing up in front of Ruby, while Miss Yuu and the blue fox also readied themselves.

Only Mister golem and the cute cat with really long name stayed quiet as they were.

I eyed them confused for a moment, but quickly changed my attention towards the ceiling, where I felt that the person was at the moment. For some time, there was some movement, but nothing big. Ylli’s and Yuu’s group both eyed me suspiciously, but I simply kept looking upwards and waiting for any movement.

Then, whoever it was, started coming down the fireplace.

“It’s coming!” I shouted while pointing to the fireplace, however…

“OUCH! HOT! HOT HOT!” An old sounding voice came suddenly before a gust of wind blew out the fireplace, sending the whole room into darkness, soon being followed by a strange blue reddish light that gathered in front of the fire-place. The light soon formed into the shape of a person. A large and tall person, with a big belly and a long white beard, wearing a full red suit. On his back was a large sack and some smoke coming from his bottom. “By the three spirits of christmas! Who in their sanest minds keep the fireplace lit during christmas night of all days?”

“HA! KNEW IT!” Mister golem said in a pompous tone while laughing to himself and fist-bumping the cat.

Although his figure sparked something on my mind, I couldn’t quite pin what it was before both Ylli and Master Roshi cornered him, grabbing him by the neck and slamming him against the wall.

The old man let out an ‘oof’ sound after being slammed, before eyeing the two who were cornering him with an exhausted look.

“Who are you?” Master Roshi asked and Ylli nodded in agreement.

“WHO AM I?” The man asked angrily. “I am the very personification of christmas, you two dumb mofos!” The fat man said angrily before quickly pushing the two back with a move from his arm. “Do you really think the two of you can stop a force of nature like me? Go train you newbies!” He said angrily before stopping and taking a deep breath, rubbing the middle of his eyes as if he was tired. “Oh god. This whole around the world in one night is already killing me, now I also have to appear on a special. Fantastic!”

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

“Wow, you are a lot angrier than what I expected.” Mister golem said surprised while trying to eat something, only to have it disappear from his plate.

“What would you expect?” The man in red replied angrily while puffing angrily. “Do you have any idea how much of a pain it is to not only catalogue all those children during the whole year, but also go to each and every one of them to deliver their presents? Not only that, but I also have to deal with those annoying elves!”

“Elf? Lunn?” Miss Ylli asked confused.

“Not her.” The man denied with a shake of his hand before throwing the huge bag on the ground. “Not the kind of elves you think.” He sighed before leaning forward and supporting himself on the bag. “Goddamit. not only to I pay them a lot, give them a living place, food and three days weekends, the bastards also want to take a two months vacation this time! I swear that I will kill someone if another elf ask me if he can have another raise of 2000%”

“You sound oddly like a bad employer, but what you said really doesn’t make you look like one...” Mister golem said wryly.

“Yeah. Show them a bit of generosity, and the little bastards start wanting more and more.” The man sighed once more before straightening his back. “Also, please tell me you have some cookies and milk for me. And none of that diet and glutem-free trash!”

“Ermm… I don’t think we have cookies, Mister Santa...” Yuu said in a absentminded tone. “But… Erm… I guess you can eat on the table with us.”

“Hmm… Oh well, better than nothing.” He said with a shrug. “But before, I really want to empty this crap already, so let’s get to present distributing, shall we?”

As he said that, he opened the huge bag and showed lots of large boxes wrapped in colorful papers. While looking curiously as he rummaged through the packages, grunting here and there some really bad words, I noticed as someone approached us.

“...Is it just me who is completely lost?” Me and Tian turned towards the red girl who was watching everything confused from right behind us. The two of us nodded in agreement with her.

“I… Think I can explain… Somewhat… Despite logic… And common sense...” The cute floating crystal doll said while approaching us. However, despite her words, it looked like she was the one who was hit the hardest of all of us, as she looked at the scene completely shocked. “That… Santa Claus… Delivers presents to good kids on Christmas… But… He should be a legend… Mathematically impossible to do that… How...”

Despite the doll’s words, it looked like the three of us were still completely lost on what she meant. Though she did spark an old memory about a red man delivering presents. Despite that, we were mostly still in the dark, so we could only wait and see.

“Here are the damned things! Thank god already!” Mister Santa said angrily while taking some small boxes and a bunch of small envelops from the bag. “There we go!” He said angrily before reading something that was written on the envelops. “Okay. Here is the deal, since this isn’t canon for any of your stories, I’m not supposed to give you guys anything concrete that you can carry over, so you will have to survive with these things here that are a bit more imaterial, okay?” He said while waving the cards.

“First, let’s start with you guys.” He said while pointing at Master Roshi, Miss Tian and me. “Here you go.” He said while throwing one of the envelops at us, making the three of us scramble on our feets to get them. However, before we could even open then, he continued. “For the little one, since you’ve been so dedicated to your work, you’ll get a promise that you will soon grow older. For the purple haired brat who have been taking care of you, it’s both the promise that the smaller one will grow cuter, and some ideas for outfits you can have her wear.” Huh? Huh? Huh? Why do I suddenly feel this shiver on my spine? M-Miss Tian? Why are you looking at me like that? It’s… It’s scary! “Old man, you’ve been taking care of the two of them, so we decided to improve your luck with women. Be happy.”

“Huh? Luck with women?” Master Roshi asked confused before widening his eyes. “Yo-You couldn’t mean...”

“Tsc. Lucky bastard.” Huh? Did Mister Santa just click his tongue? “NEXT! The robot group.” As he said that, he waved us away, so we all took a step back automatically, and with the corner of my eyes, I watched as miss Tian opened her present and showed a small book full of pictures of clothes. Once again I felt a shiver on my spine.

“M-Miss Tian… Yo-You are drooling...” I said worriedly.

“You’ll look so cute in these, cute plebeian.” Was her reply while looking at me with predatory eyes.

“Erm… Well… Look! They are getting their presents!” I said while pointing to Ruby’s group.

“...red Brat and Cat girl get the promise of even more robots.” Mister santa said angrily before waving the two away, who stepped back with shining eyes. “While the remaining two will get a new adventure very soon.” Huh? Remaining two?

When he said that, I noticed that Ruby froze for a moment, while mister robot stared at Mister Santa for some time. However, Mister santa didn’t care much for him, and simply made a grumpy face before turning towards Mister golem who was still sitting in the table, watching us with amused eyes.

“Okay… now the troublesome ones.” Mister Santa said with a sigh. “First, the two furballs.” As he said that, Mister golem made a motion for the cat and the fox to approach the old man. “Well, Lieutenant needlessly-long-name. You haven’t been exactly good, but you aren’t exactly naughty, so you just barely get a present. You’ll get a new playmode soonish, okay?”

“Nya-ha-ha-ha-ha!”

“And if you steal my laugh again, I’m throwing you out of the window and keeping the present.” Mister santa Stared a pair of holes on the cat’s forehead, who nodded briefly before running away carrying his envelop. “Now, the blue fox. You and your vulpine companion are the nicest of the bunch, so you deserve something nice.” he said while sighing and stopping to think. “If I remember, you’ll get even more petting sessions from now on, as well as a present from your master.”

“Huh? I will?” Mister golem asked confused, but before he could even react, the blue fox jumped on his arms while wagging her tails happily. He blinked surprised and started petting her mindlessly with a confused look.

“Now, the maid and the girlfriend. Come closer.”

“G-G-G-G-Girl F-F-F-Friend?” Miss Yuu asked shocked.

“Whatever.” Mister Santa completely disregarded her reaction before making a motion for the pink doll to come closer. “Cygnas. For doing your best on being impartial on your game, you’ll get the bonus of completely forgetting this illogical series of events and also some more screen time on your actual body.”

“Eh? Really?” The doll asked surprised, but I tilted my head confused. Wasn’t her name Crys?

“Well, to be honest that depends on the author, but he said he would try. Black fox girl, since your very existence is a kind of a personification of a nice person, You’ll get a special present.” Mister Santa said while pointing to the envelop on her hand. “You’ll get to either deny, or create your own fourth wall break once in the main story. ”

“Huh? W-Why?” She asked confused.

“Because that way you can get your boyfriend on a date using his own magic fourth-wall breaking powers. Or deny any attempt of his to escape one.” Santa said briefly while waving her away.

For some reason, Miss Yuu’s expression became really scary, despite her face becoming completely red. Finally, it was only Mister golem left. While watching him curious, I saw as he took a step forward and looked at Mister Santa with glowing eyes.

“Now, Gondorrer Gravelheart...” Mister Santa sighed. “Not only do you drag your friends to dangerous situation, you also are constantly disobeying the author and completely destroying the fourth wall. Even if you do some nice things here and there, you usually have a hidden meaning behind it, like getting a monster or something.” Santa sighed. “It was really hard to do this but… BAH! Who am I kidding, you were easily the easiest one to brand a bad child.” He said while extending the small box in his hands towards Gon. “There’s a very specific thing bad kids get.”

“Huh? Why only me?” Mister Golem asked confused while receiving the present with a sad look.

“Because the author said someone needed to be a bad boy this year. Simply as that.” He said victoriously before laughing. “It always feels good to see a pompous brat like you open their presents and get a sad look. Maybe you’ll learn a thing or two about being more obedien…”

“A PIECE OF COAL? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Mister golem shouted after opening his package.

“COULDN’T YOU WAIT FOR ME TO FINISH SPEAKING BRAT?”

“THIS IS AWESOME! I GOT CRAFTING MATERIAL!” Mister golem started jumping around cheerfully while moving a piece of coal to one side to the other.

“...What?”

“You said that it was a bad kids present, but this is perfect! Thanks Santa!” He said before hugging the large old man in an overly friendly manner.

“What… Brat! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DISAPPOINTED!”

“Huh? Why?”

“ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? COAL IS USELESS!”

“IT’S NOT! I can use it to heat the furnace or make steel! It’s bloody perfect!”

“... GODDAMIT!” Mister Santa said angrily before finally grabbing Mister Gon by the neck and throwing him away. “Thanks for destroying my last enjoyment of this bloody night, you bastard!” He said angrily before walking towards the fireplace once again. “Even lost my bloody hunger now.”

“Waaah! Shishou!” Miss Yuu said while running after the Golem, who was shoved halfway through the wooden wall, with his head popping out from the other side.

“That… Looks painful.” Ruby said wryly.

“Well… He kind of deserved it… Right...” Master Roshi said while choosing his words.

“Haah… Master is used to this already, so no need to worry.” Crys said with a wry tone.

As if answering to her reply, we saw as Mister Gon slowly raised his arm and made a thumbs up while trembling in pain.

“Serves him right.” Mister santa said before his body disappeared in a bunch of lights and flew up the fireplace. “TILL NEVER AGAIN, YOU BASTARD!”

As his shout echoed through the room, we all stood there in silence for some time, everyone looking at each other while trying to find out what we should do next, but seeing that no one was doing anything, I sighed and gave a brief smile.

“Erm… I think that’s all?” I said while looking to everyone, seeing as they nodded to each other. However.

“WAIT RIGHT THERE!” Mister golem shouted angrily before forcing himself out of the wall, breaking it even more while scaring us with his fierce expression. “WE CAN’T CLOSE A CHRISTMAS SPECIAL WITHOUT AT LEAST ONE MISTLETOE JOKE!”

“Ah what?” Ruby asked confused, but only after a few seconds of asking, she suddenly blushed. Almost as if she suddenly understood what it meant. While I wondered about her reaction, I noticed how miss Yuu also looked confused.

While all of us stood looking around confused, Mister golem started looking around as if searching for something, and after some time, his gaze finally landed on a spot above us. It was a small plant that was hanging on a beam.

“AH-HA!” he said in a proud tone before pointing towards it. “Rules of christmas say that whoever pair is standing beneath the Mistletoe must kiss!”

The moment he said that, everyone else blinked surprised and looked upwards to the plant in a hurry. I felt my cheek blushing slightly as the idea of kissing someone passed through my mind. Following the position of the plant, we all looked downwards, seeing who was standing right beneath it.

“...Huh… Does it still apply?” Miss Ruby asked confused.

“...I guess?” Mister golem replied briefly in a confused tone. “...This wasn’t what I was expecting, to be honest.” He said in a confused tone.

“...So close. It looks like luck was on our side this time.” Master Roshi said in a relieved tone.

“...So, do I kiss Beepy then?” Crys asked confused.

Yes, the two who were directly below the mistletoe were the floating pink crystal doll and the cool looking wolf robot. For a moment there was silence in the room as everyone looked towards the golem in confusion, and all he could do was shrug in confusion.

Finally, we heard a sigh, and before any of us could react, we saw as the crystal doll lowered herself and gave an briefly touched the place where should be her lips right above Beepy’s muzzle.

It was a strangely cute scene looking the two like that. It seemed that I wasn’t the only one that thought that, because I saw as the others also had small smiles.

“Ohh! So he’s your type then?” Mister golem said with a mischievous tone.

“Master. Go die.” Was the cold reply that came back.

As the small doll started staring at the golem, he waved at us before running away through the door that he had firstly come in, being followed closely by the angry Crys. Miss Yuu lingered behind for some time, before bowing to us and following them with both the cat and the fox.

We turned towards Ylli’s group and exchanged some wry smiles. After some time, Ruby finally gathered her courage and said.

“Hmm… Good bye then.” She said to us.

“Hmm. See you later!” I said cheerfully while waving to her. The robot made a brief beep while the cat girl nodded.

After watching them disappear through their own door, we finally exchanged some glances between ourselves and nodded.

“This was interesting.” Master Roshi said.

“They were unique, indeed.” Miss Tian said with an amused smile.

“I liked them. Mister golem was really funny!” I gave my honest thoughts.

The other two smiled wryly before nodding. After one last look to the dining room where we stood all this time, we finally walked through our own door and closed it, preparing to go back to our own story.

“GAAH! SO MUCH WASTED FOOD!” I heard mister golem’s cry of despair from the room near ours.