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Scathing Reviewer [Satirical LitRPG Prog Fantasy]
Chapter 9: Leveling Up - Ep. 2, II

Chapter 9: Leveling Up - Ep. 2, II

SIDE STORY #1

SEA SERPENT

Difficulty A- Task Successfully defeat the sea serpent. Time 30 minutes Reward 10,000 stars Failure Death

[Is that the side story you want?]

I stare at the blue screen in front of me, the broadcast still hidden from the other gods.

“What about 15,000 for the reward?”

[Stop being stingy.]

“Do you even know what that means?"

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ wants to discuss details of the contract.

“Whatever, that’s fine for the side story. As soon as you restart the broadcast, assign it to me. As for the contract…” I typed my own terms into the iridescent blue box first. If I left it up to Chang and Athena, there was absolutely no way I’d beat the side quest.

The entire system was, in a way, a manifestation of an uber-capitalistic society. One that had people turn into disciples and work as slaves for the gods and observers now as well. Simultaneously, it was the most pure and elite form of entertainment. That meant if I could do something interesting, more gods and observers would watch me.

Although Socrates did go radio silent, that wasn’t a big concern. I still had enough spiritual energy to get through this.

WU PEIJIN CONTRACT Wu Peijin will receive 100% of profits from all messages sent within the broadcast. Wu Peijin will receive Medusa's head from Divinity 'The One Who Fights in Front.' Wu Peijin must uncover 'Eternal Wish.' Wu Peijin may only be streamed directly from Azure Dragon Chang's broadcast. Contract will only be terminated in the case of Wu Peijin's death. Under the circumstance that Wu Peijin fails to meet any of these obligations, Wu Peijin's death will occur.

What a completely unfair and one-sided contract. But I figured there would be greater backlas—

[Are you insane?! 100% of profits earned? How do you ever expect me to agree to that?]

There it was.

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ says this contract is unfair to you.

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ wants your reasoning behind the contract.

[Are you delusional, too? In what world does 100% of profits ever exist within a contract. You may be a god, but you are by no means a businesswoman. Peijin is completely screwing us both ov—]

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ is warning the Azure Dragon to watch his tongue.

Every time one of the blue messages appeared, one of the gods or observers would have paid 50 stars to send that message. This was easy for most prominent gods like Athena or Archangel Michael, but smaller gods struggled without enough believers—disciples were a chance to bring more fame.

At this point, I didn’t know how much observer messages were costing, but I assumed they were under the same principles. As for who was providing all these stars and abundance of spiritual energy to observers, I was still unsure.

Chang was a young Azure Dragon, barely longer than my forearm, and he was thus in charge of a relatively unimportant broadcast. Even though 100% sounded like a lot, it would only help me during early stages. Once story parameters permitted gods’ descent, there would be no incentive to continue sending messages through the broadcast system.

“Athena is right. The profits will only help me in the short-term, and you gain most of your finances from channel subscribers anyway. Term D ensures that I’ll only be streamed from your broadcast, and I can promise you that I’ll give you the best stories out of any other disciple.”

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ says you’re overestimating your abilities.

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ laughs and says you’re not the most promising disciple in the area.

I glared at the words, biting my lower lips in thought—Socrates made the same threat of leaving to watch other allegedly interesting disciples.

I figured that I wasn’t the richest disciple from the earlier failure of Editor’s Pen, but this confirmed it. How could there be anyone else stronger than the writer of the story? Even Feiyu shouldn’t be this far ahead.

“Well, there must have been a reason for you to sponsor me instead of them, right?” I smirked, grabbing the rock above my head and pulling myself up to avoid the rising water. “Eternal Wish is my current sponsor, so I’m the only disciple with the best shot at uncovering them. If I fail to, then I’ll die for breaking the contract unless its terminated by my death.”

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ adds a condition you must read her fate.

"Ah, but if I do, then won't that lock it in certainty? Even if I lied about your death, my knowledge on Feiyu and the future arcs were all correct." A wide smile was on my face. Saying I was the god of fortune and fate was especially impactful on any Greek gods; with their heavy religious emphasis on oracles, they were terrified of playing around with something inevitable.

Divinity ‘The One Who Fights in Front’ adds a condition that she must become Amelia’s sponsor.

“Can’t do that either,” I said, a small grin on my face. “That’s her decision. I won’t stop her from picking you if it’s what she wants, but this deal is already against my favor. You want me to bring down my own undefeatable sponsor or I’ll die.”

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

[Why would I make this deal with you if you aren’t even the best disciple here?]

“I will be once you sign the contract. I’ll even lower my profit to 86%.”

The Azure Dragon huffed before signing his name down on the contract.

[Do you have any idea what this means, fool?]

Chang roared, growing in size as he unhinged this jaw.

[If you fail Athena or me, you will di—!]

“I’ll die,” I sighed, annoyed. “I’m aware.” I typed my name into the screen and waited as Athena reasoned through her options. As soon as she agreed, the broadcast would open up once more, and I’d need to defeat the sea serpent. If I failed? Well, there was no one else to blame but my own skill.

All signatories have signed! The contract is now in effect until Wu Peijin’s death.

Chang quickly reopened the broadcast, and a flood of messages appeared from the flood during the ad break.

You have received 43 stars!

You have received 43 stars!

You have received 43 stars!

You have received 43 stars!

[Hello everyone! So sorry about the ad break, but it’s mandatory in terms of my managers. Huh?! Special treatment? That could get me terminated! I take my job very, very seriously here. So does karma.]

Any spiritual energy I had was fully expended now, and all messages from Athena were terminated. I was alone once more with not even Socrates to bother me.

There was nothing Athena feared more than defeat. She was overwhelmed by her reason, but even then, her rage was unparalleled when she lost against those she viewed as weak enemies. Thus…

The Shield of Truth glowed in my hands, and glowing orange light seemed to make up the missing half. It was incredibly heavy and glistened in the water, painting beautiful orange reflections in the blue waves.

By buying the Shield of Truth, I would fight with a symbol of Athena. To lose against an easy enemy in her eyes would bring shame to her name. If I wanted to survive, I needed to play to the god’s desires for entertainment, money, and greed.

Wielding Medusa’s head in my other hand, her mouth gaped open with water lapping in and out as her eyes stared forward, I dove under the water as the sea serpent slammed against the cave once more, finally forcing it to collapse in on itself.

Observers are clamoring in excitement and anticipation!

Observer 'Nipon23': boo, the wicked witch of the west is back

The dark water surrounded me, and I quickly swam back from the sea serpent as its fangs became embedded in the rock from the collapsing cave. I hid Medusa’s head behind my shield; I had only one shot to kill the serpent, and I couldn’t let it discover my plan so soon.

Just a few meters away, the sea serpent suddenly got free and darted toward me. I raised the shield in front of me, grunting as the glowing orange light forced the serpent back. It roared under water, sending a current that forced me back, but hindsight quickly calculated its next move.

Was hindsight keeping me so calm and level headed? I brought the shield up and, with my right arm, stuck Medusa’s head out from behind the shield as the sea serpent snaked closer, crying out.

As soon as Medusa's writhing head locked eyes with the sea serpent, the vicious beast began to turn into stone. First, its eyes took on a hazy gray as it seemed to freeze just before me, slowly turning into stone as the back end of its long body thrashed and slammed into the side of the river. Losing consciousness, its last operable limbs struggled to escape its fate.

Fate. It was something I knew and could alter in this world. My survival was proof of that.

Countless observers are screaming in excitement or rage!

Observer 'Hedgehog1938': How is Peijin pulling this off? I thought she was stupid

With the last ounce of its strength, the sea serpent crashed into the sides of the river, violently spasming and trying to break free of its curse. Suddenly, the river seemed to collapse in on itself, soil and rocks beginning to tremble and cave in toward me.

Damnit! I quickly began to dodge the rocks, swimming toward the head of the sea serpent. If the sea serpent didn’t kill me first, the subsequent underwater landslide would.

Avoiding a crashing rock, I latched onto the now stone whiskers of the sea serpent. With the shield and head in my other hand, I began to pry out the eyes of the sea serpent.

The entire river floor was shaking violently, causing countless rocks and sediments to cascade down.

I dug into its eye. I was so close, it was almost loose. Just a bit more, and—

A rock smashed the front of my face, prying the pigeon’s lung from my mouth.

Divinity ‘Supreme Commander of the Heavenly Hosts’ is urging you to swim to the surface!

A divine message? Did Archangel Michael expend spiritual energy just for that message?

I felt water flood into my nose, sending a sharp stinging pain as I felt myself losing oxygen. The serpent’s eye finally fell loose, the eyelid crumbling away as fine gray dust.

Kicking up desperately, I hacked underwater, my body spasming as I tried to kick up toward the surface. The sun’s rays were breaking down into the deep river, casting bright ripples on my skin.

The influx of messages had brought in thousands of stars, but I was forced to spend all of them once more.

Agility level 10 → level 20

I moved with unparalleled speed as my hand broke through the surface of the water. I sputtered, hacking up water while swimming over to floating debris from the bridge. Pulling myself onto the debris, I briefly vomited all over the scrap piece of metal, but I had made it. Broken Shield of Truth, Medusa’s head, and Petrified Eye of the Sea Serpent. I had all of it.

Side Story #1 - Sea Serpent has concluded!

You have completed the side story.

You have earned the exclusive achievement 'Butcher of Abyssal Horrors.'

This was the world I knew. This was the world I fabricated with my own hands and mind, and it was a world I knew better than anyone.

Hindsight, the skill that had served me most so far, began to flicker before me. The screen crackled, glitching as the pixels shifted into an unfamiliar deep red.

THE MAJOR ARCANA HAVE SPOTTED YOU.

… The Major Arcana?

My eyes grew wide in a mixture of confusion and fear, my throat thick with anxiety. Had I written about such a thing in Surviving My First Run?

THE MAJOR ARCANA HAVE SPOTTED YOU.

The screen glowed in front of me, waving unsteadily as bright orange sparks flew off and burned my skin.

THE MAJOR ARCANA HAVE SPOTTED YOU.

image [https://i.imgur.com/CIjtVw2.png]