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Scathing Reviewer [Satirical LitRPG Prog Fantasy]
Chapter 39: A Battle for Fate - Ep. 7, I

Chapter 39: A Battle for Fate - Ep. 7, I

Wei flushed bright red and gave me as astonished look before he took an anxious step back. “Ha ha, you’re very funny, Peijin…”

I stared at him, my grip on Zhige’s hilt tight. “No, I’m dead serious.”

“...” His pouting lips quivered as he stared at me, looking like a betrayed puppy.

Yang grabbed my ear and tightly tugged on it, scolding me.

“Stop bullying Wei, and tell us what to do before the metro arrives at the destination.”

“Agh-!” I exclaimed, wincing as I swatted at his hand. “Fine, fine!”

One of my eyes shut while my hand rubbed against the side of my head to try and get rid of the achy pain. “As the esteemed god of fate and fortune, I can see that we’re going to be split as a group. Wei, you’ll end up alone.”

Wei’s nervousness was apparent as he rested his chin on his sword’s hilt, anxiously swaying back and forth before he let out a whine.

“I’d rather not hear about any of this if it’s so abysmal.”

I waved my hand, brushing him off. “Well it doesn’t really matter because as soon as the room starts, you’ll lose all your memories.”

“W-What?!” Yang exclaimed, peeking over and staring at me. “Don’t tell me we’re going to fight him or something.”

Before I answered Yang, I quickly sorted through my own thoughts, one of my fingers tapping my chin. Other than Wei, the rest of the party would be split into groups of two—ending up with Yang would be the best case scenario. Afterall, we were the smartest… although I didn’t trust Amelia alone with Yue.

Well, I guess Yang or Amelia would work then.

Yang snapped his fingers before my face, and I quickly jumped back into reality. “I’m not going to let that happen. You forget that Wei’s luck is incredible,” I insisted sincerely before continuing.

“The posters were right. Wei was born thousands of years ago as a cultivator who managed to ascend into the heavenly realm.

“Wei’s deepest fear is reliving his life from back then. Think of it as my room but worse because there’s the added element of amnesia,” I smiled and gave a thumbs up at the crumpling Wei.

Many observers are gawking at the extent of the knowledge you’re sharing!

“What the fuck?!” Yue exclaimed, tugging at her hair. “Who created these torture chambers?"

“Ha ha,” I laughed awkwardly, running my hand against the back of my head while avoiding her eyes. “But it’s alright. I have a good idea of how to get Wei out.”

Wei’s hands trembled as he looked up at me with glassy eyes. “You must be mistaken. That’s impossible! I don’t remember any of that!” He insisted, clasping onto his white robes. “Is there nothing that… I can do?”

“Nah,” I said calmly, walking up to him and putting my hands on each of his shoulders. “You have a strong enough character to beat this room,” I declared confidently, staring straight into his eyes. “I know that for certain.”

He stared at me with glowing eyes before loudly sniffling, looking like he was about to cry.

“You better not start crying right now.”

“I can’t help it! Do you really think that about me?”

I let out a loud sigh before I flicked his forehead and turned back to face the rest of the party. “Our first initiative is to meet up as soon as we end up in the other world. That being said, some of us will arrive at earlier periods.

“All of us need to buy a skill called ‘Continuous Convey.’” I pulled it up on the Azure Dragon store and showed them all my screen. “This will let us communicate with each other. Amelia, I’ll buy yours because it’s expensive, and I like you.”

The skill was stupid expensive at around 8,000 stars—that’s why I hadn’t made them purchase it sooner. I was glaring at the purchase button as I click it before I spotted Amelia beaming with pride from my words, and it looked like she could burst at any moment. I snorted, placing my hand at the top of her head before ruffling her hair.

We all bought the skill and quickly added each other, testing it out. Messages would be sent telepathically, and we could make individual chats as well.

Peijin: This is the main chat that has all party members. Don’t chat here unless it’s emergencies. You only get twenty messages a day.

Yue: Twenty messages?? What kind of idiot came up with that?

Peijin: Now it’s nineteen.

Yue: I’d curse you out right now if Amelia wasn’t here.

Yang: … Wei is doomed

A quick pain flashed through my head as Yang smacked both Yue and me, and both of us quickly cursed him out.

The metro began slowing down, the path becoming increasingly bumpy before slowing down.

I looked around one last time with a cocky grin, trying to ease their nerves. It was fun teasing them, but I’d lie if I said I wasn’t nervous. The chance I’d end up killing Wei was pretty high after all.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

He already suffered amnesia to have lost all of his past memories—now, he was about to lose all of his new ones. One he regained both, who knew how’d he react?

“Don’t panic. The first objective is to find one another and locate Wei, alright? If not all of us appear, just wait. We’ll all show up eventually.”

“What about Archangel Michael?” Wei asked, looking up with a slightly more confident expression.

“Uhh… he’s probably still in trial,” I said awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck.

Observer Socrates: He’ll be out soon because of the contract you signed with him. It lessened the karmic restraint.

That damned contract. I was owing more and more gods with each arc.

Wait, did the observers or gods know about Karma? I doubted it—if they did, the entire system would have been heavily skewed considering that Karma knew I was Jia Li. I’d ask later.

I turned back to Wei, reassuring him: “Don’t worry, he’ll be out soon. There won’t be much he can do in this dungeon room with you anyway, since he won’t be allowed to communicate with you.”

“Peijin, please don’t ever become a cheerleader or coach," Wei pleaded.

After giving Wei a deadpanned look, the metro car finally came to a stop as the doors slid open. I gave Wei a hard slap on the back before we all walked forward.

All of them stood in a line before the open metro door, trying to squeeze in shoulder to shoulder. I held Amelia before me, apprehensive of letting her go.

“Take care of each other,” I said softly, staring into the black abyss. Typically, the room would have appeared just before the doors, showing the scenery; however, there was nothing but a black void.

“Ah, I say we push Peijin in first,” Yue sneered, giving me a mischievous look.

I glared at her. “Don’t you dar—”

Before I could finish my words, the metro car erupted, the entire train bursting outwards as metal panels flew all around the void before vanishing.

“Amelia!” I shouted, looking down at my now empty hands. I swiveled around the void for a moment, looking around to realize I was completely alone.

I let out an exasperated sigh as I floated around the emptiness. It was uncomfortable in how lukewarm it felt. Reaching for Zhige, I stroked the blade in boredom as I waited.

Well, clearly I was not the first group to arrive.

“Sorry I yelled at you earlier, Zhige,” I said softly. It was stupid to be apologizing to a sword, but since Zhige shrunk earlier, it refused to return to its original size.

The red eye blinked at me for a moment before rolling, clearly not convinced.

“Hey, I’m serious! I really am sorry!”

Zhige’s eye narrowed even more before the blade shrunk significantly as if protesting.

“...You should be apologizing to me. Why does Karma know you, huh?”

Observer Socrates: Wait Jia Li what are you talking about?? Isn’t karma just the power system you wrote?

Jackpot.

The surrounding environment slowly began to flood with colors and beautiful floral scenes that quickly flew by—it was like I was watching an entire timeline float past me.

Zhige flew out before me and waved around frantically as if trying to justify itself.

“Uh huh,” I said with a raised eyebrow and my arms crossed, “I’m not convinced. I thought we had something special,” I sniffed dramatically, wiping a fake tear.

This was the room where I was going to turn over a new leaf. No more impulsivity or half-thought out plans—I wrote this very room verbatim, and I knew it like the back of my hand. That included the plot holes, I guess.

“Zhige, get ready! I’m going to absolutely wipe this room once I get there,” I shouted, smashing my fist against my open palm.

Both of us suddenly froze at the appearance of a glitching red box just before me.

UNKNOWN ENTITY DESCENDING INTO WEI’S DUNGEON ROOM.

“No.”

I looked around, cupping my hands around my mouth and screaming into the flurry of images. “Chang! Chang! Come and fix this bullshit!”

1%...5%...48%...97%

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?!” I cried out angrily, glaring at the screen.

Descent into a system implied it was being done by some kind of god or ghost—it was still too early in the arcs to have a being descend in their true form. That meant whatever spiritual energy they were backed by, it was enormous. It was big enough to deter karmic restraints.

“Fuck!” I screamed, smashing my fist against the red screen. “Is this from you bastards in the Major Arcana? You piss me off!”

Zhige’s hilt bashed into my forehead, and I let out a grunt before wrestling with the blade. “Don’t tell me you’re on their side?!”

The sword shook back and forth at me, trying to convince me we were on the same team.

“What’s your issue then? I’m going to lose my mind if I ever see this stupid Major Arcana bullshit again! This spiritual energy is literally—agh!”

Zhige smacked me firmly again, leaving a purple mark on my forehead.

DESCENT COMPLETE.

“Fucker!”

I reached for the screen with the intention of throwing it before the flashing images suddenly stopped as I hurtled toward the ground.

Sharp cries slipped from my mouth while I crashed through countless trees before finally landing on the ground with a loud thump.

“Ugh…” I groaned, my eyes squeezed shut. Through my ringing ears, I could make out a faint voice speaking to me as I struggled to open my eyes.

I stammered, “Y-Yang?”

Two firm hands quickly scooped me back onto my feet, and when I pried open my eyes, I made out the blurry figure.

Long black robes adorned her towering figure as she placed a hand on her hip before crossing her arms. Her silky black hair was pulled up into an elaborate bun, and her lips were tinted a mauve color. I hadn’t realized it before, but she was quite pretty.

She gave me a demeaning glare before opening her mouth. “Are you going to keep staring at me or what?”

“...There’s no way I got trapped here with you, Yue.”

“Excuse me?!”

I fell backward on the forest ground, clamping my hands over my face and kicking my feet. “God damnit! At this point, god can strike me down!”

Yue let out a loud groan and reached over, trying to lift my limp body. “You’re seriously annoying! Get up!” She tugged on me repeatedly, but I dug my body into the soft ground below me.

Hindsight activated!

My eyes immediately widened as I looked over to my side and saw a figure come crashing down into the ground miles away—but the subsequent seismic wave immediately shot toward us.

I reached up and clasped my arms around Yue's abdomen before I rolled over her body as the ground erupted all around us.

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