Yang was practically trembling in horror now, but he quickly shut his eyes and extended his staff, using it as a walking stick to navigate the ground.

“I-I’m really sorry Peijin!” Yang stammered, his face green.

He must have realized it too—these plants were alive. This wasn’t a thriving forest, but it wasn’t an illusion either. Rather, every single living thing here was a demon, and from our presence and attention, they began to move and shift.

I looked down and noticed Zhige’s bright red eye still staring up at me. “That includes you, Zhige. Shut your eye.”

The red eye blinked shut.

These flower demons would lurk for their victims, often young men before emitting a pollen that would first cause cloudy judgment and weakening muscles before driving them into a state of mania, where only satisfying their deepest desire could end the suffering.

Upon seducing them and murdering them, the demons would thrive off of their energy. Women had a distinct advantage as I noted before, but the demons would be even more hostile at the sight of Yue and I.

The flowers all around me began to wiggle in the ground more, their petals fluttering in an awkward, controlled manner.

“Don’t apologize, Yang” I said, keeping my words calm. “Let’s just get out of here. What do we need to do?”

In Surviving My First Run, I had only mentioned such a forest off-hand in one of my many info-dumps.

“We need to make it out of the forest or kill all of the demons here,” Yang responded shakily.

Just like Yue had a sense of what to do in her personal dungeon by getting to the end of the stage, Yang would also have that same intuition here.

“Kill all the demons? By what? Starting a wildfire in a wetland?” I grumbled, continuing to follow the path until a small fork in the path appeared. “Besides, lighting them on fire emits a poisonous gas.”

The more I kept my eyes open, the more I alerted the demons of my presence, but I had to guide the rest of the party. However, once I crossed the fork in this path, I’d shut my eyes and use Zhige to guide me.

You have purchased ‘Kau chim!’

A small box filled with sticks landed into my hands. These were fortune sticks by The Oracle of Kuan Yin, and they were often used for guidance. This particular set contained many sticks with some denoting good, neutral, and bad fortune.

These didn’t require any actual gambling. It worked more closely to a magic eight ball.

I shook the box and took in a steady inhale. “Should I take the right fork in this path?”

A stick jumped out, landing on the poorly paved road. I got a weird sense of deja vu as I bent down to the ground and picked it up.

It read the worst of luck!

Blinking awkwardly at the stick, I reread it multiple times as if to confirm the result.

I quickly put it back into the box, shaking once more. So what if it read “worst of luck?” That meant the other path would inherently be better.

“Should I take the left fork in this path?”

This time, when the stick jumped out, I already knew what it was. It was, once again, reading that this path would bring me the most miserable fortune.

Wei’s voice rang out over my despair as I squatted on the ground, looking down in miserable annoyance.

“Peijin, are you gambling again?”

“I’m not an addict, Wei.”

“Let me roll instead. Your luck is very bad.”

“...”

I turned around and handed him the box, ensuring his eyes were closed. He rolled for both paths, and I eagerly looked over to see what both sticks read.

This time, they showed the best fortune for both paths.

“Are they good?” Wei asked, obediently keeping his eyes closed.

“Eh, they’re alright,” I replied begrudgingly. “Let’s go right.”

Confident in the path, I closed my eyes and led the group forward, using Zhige to feel the ground and continue walking down. As long as I could quickly guide the group out, this would be a rather simple dungeon.

While gently skidding Zhige across the ground, the blade would bump into small rocks, pebbles, and a few pieces of tangled natural debris.

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

But to my surprise, Zhige suddenly slid over a springy, long texture.

I froze, immediately extending my arm out behind me to signal Wei to stop moving forward. The right path was straight, and I didn’t think I made any unnecessary or accidental turns; Zhige continued to glide across the ground, but instead of a scraping sound signaling the path, I only felt the same texture that felt like strands of hair.

My eyes peeled open, barely more than a sliver, but as soon as I saw the sight that met me, they shot wide open, my black pupils trembling in shock.

Before me were beautiful rolling plains; long green grass tinted with burnt sienna blew in the wind, and countless wildflowers sprung up from the ground, dancing in the air. Bright red poppies the color of blood, weeping lilacs, massive sunflowers—we were no longer stuck in that earlier forest.

A beautifully eerie voice rang out from the field. It was feminine, full of vitality as if it had just been touched by the dew of life.

“Someone is watching us,” it called out, alluring and smooth.

“Yes, yes, yes,” countless other voices echoed back.

“Oh my, how long has it been?”

“Too long, too long!”

“Oh, we are starving!”

I squeezed my eyes shut, quickly turning around.

“We’ve taken the wrong path!” I barked, quickly circling the group around and using Zhige to direct me once more.

Apparently, my luck was so bad that I still managed to choose the wrong path when both sides were supposed to work out.

You have received a new review!

4 / 5: Wu Peijin’s luck is so bad that I’m hoping this review boosts her karma. I have no idea what she did for her luck to be this bad, but I wouldn’t want her to be my god of fortune. Maybe god of misfortune.

Thanks.

Sweat began to fall down my brow now from the beating sun, but suddenly, a cold darkness blew over me again. The dim light one saw with their eyes shut suddenly burned out.

“Shit,” I murmured under my breath, opening my eyes once more to find myself on a cobblestone path with vines dangling overhead.

The path changed as soon as someone shut their eyes. I had to keep mine open.

“Peijin!” Yue exclaimed, “What the hell is going on? How the hell do you mess up walking down a straight path?”

“The forest changes anytime you close your eyes,” I was borderline breathless while leading the group away. “The demons have sensed us.”

Beautiful red flowers were draping from the overhead vines, and they almost looked like bells the way they draped and swished in the wind.

We were on a brand new path now, another fork before us. I grabbed the kau chim sticks and put them in Wei’s hands.

“We’re at another fork. Could you see which way would be better?”

“P-Peijin,” Yang’s voice sounded out. “Can I please open my eyes?”

Yue angrily clicked her tongue, responding in an exasperated tone. “I told you, I’m not whispering anything in your ear! Stop being paranoid.”

With his flushed face buried in his hands, Yang let out a loud sigh. “But you are, I can hear it!”

“Stop it, both of you,” I barked. “I feel like I’m a babysitter sometimes…”

Wei rolled the box and two sticks popped out, bouncing on the ground before they came to a rest.”

They both read the worst fortune.

“Oh, we’re so fucked,” I muttered, staring at the two sticks.

Wei suddenly stiffened beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Wait, Peijin, I hear it, too.”

“See, I told you I wasn’t doing it,” Yue exclaimed.

Yang’s hands were covering his ears, and he looked like he was about to curl up into a ball. “It’s so loud… it’s like my whole head is ringing.”

Since I didn’t flesh this out in Surviving my First Run, the world must have been taking more liberty with the idea.

My grip tightened around Zhige, and I stared up at the black sky.

“Archangel Michael or Athena, are either of you there?”

The only thing that greeted me was an eerie silence.

“Sun Wukong? Bull Demon King?”

…

I hesitated for a moment before the next god.

“Eternal Wish?”

It was as if the entire forest halted—there was nothing here. Nothing but that deafening silence and the shifting of the plants.

“Socrates, did Archangel Michael give you any spiritual energy?”

Observer 'Socrates’: J̷̹̺͚̬̮̖̠̭̜̣̉̋̉̇̕͜Ĭ̴̛͈̬̳͙̼̇̎̓̽̓̄̌͠A̵̗͍͉͈̋̑̂̈́̔̉͝ ̷̡̢̝͚͔̒̂̔̏̐̇̒̔̂̈͌̀̒͝L̷̺͖̂̾̒̓̈́̓̃͘͝Ï̶̮͈̯̗̓̋̊̓̅̆͒̆̆͝ ̸̨̡̥̗̳̰̘̪̖̳̦̈́̈̈͋͝Ŗ̴̢̬̖̼͓̖̉͑́̈͂͑͌͝Ǘ̴̪̫̻̭͇̽͑̋̊̌͒̄̇̈́̔̚̚Ņ̷̻͎̦̬̙̱̝̭̜̮̘̘̉̌͊̒̀̏̿̉̉̋́͠ͅ

My eyes widened at the message, causing me to freeze in shock. Was the system...?

I felt hot breath on the back of my neck, causing my hair to stand as a smooth voice spoke right in my ear.

“My, my, we have ourselves a new visitor,” a seductively slow voice called out

I whipped my head around, and a red bell flower fell right before my face. With one quick movement, it blew a golden dust straight into my face, causing me to violently hack immediately as I shoved everyone back behind me.

“G-get back!” I shouted at the party members while shoving Wei back as hard as I could, immediately reeling over and trying to wipe my face as an intense burning sensation took hold.

Countless cackling voices rang out from all around me as the flowers grew from the ground, their roots exploding from the soil as they began to walk on the ground.

Their roots and petals formed and tangled into limbs before the forest was filled with the beautifully demonic and female figures.

That’s right, this was Yang’s biggest fear: women.