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Scathing Reviewer [Satirical LitRPG Prog Fantasy]
Chapter 4: The First Arc - Ep. 1, IV

Chapter 4: The First Arc - Ep. 1, IV

Yue stared at me for a moment before reeling over and laughing, clutching her stomach as she bent over and her shoulders shook. Grabbing a small blade from one of the goblins, she lunged forward and slashed the blade with vicious speed toward my throat.

“Peijin!” Yang shouted, rushing forward.

The blade made contact with my throat with astounding force, but it simply clattered against my skin. Yue froze before readjusting her hand to grip the knife as an extension of her fist and drive it into my stomach. The blade snapped in half as I smirked down at Yue, my expression smug.

“What are you?” When Yue looked up to face me, her voice trembled slightly as her brown eyes shook.

I gave a cocky shrug. “Just a pest control worker,” I replied before balling my hand and slamming my fist into her liver, watching her fly back and slam into a car. She let out a surprised yelp as she bounced off of the now totaled car and skidded on the ground.

The freeway was filled with more and more dead bodies as people continued to fight and lose against the violent horde of goblins. Blood and gore littered the streets, painting the initially dusty gray and cracked asphalt with a deep red. I shook out my fist in the air, rubbing my knuckles, and waited for Yue’s retaliation.

Observer ‘Socrates’: This is the action I wanted to see. Keep this up, and maybe I’ll send a few stars your way.

“Am I a street performer and pest control worker now?” I grumbled under my breath before I looked up at the sky once more. A few more stars were present, signifiers for the divinities, so at least some showed interest.

Observer ‘Socrates’: Woooow, that was the first time you responded to me. I almost thought these weren't getting through. I’ll send more now, though.

The Azure Dragon gasped at the sight of me hovering over Yue and covered his snout with stubby hands. “Do I really have a fortune teller in my channel? This is so good for business!”

I glared at the Azure Dragon and looked back to the freeway, watching the horde of goblins sprint toward me, since I had attacked their “ruler.” With a simple sweep of my foot, they easily dissolved into speckled black ash that blew into the air. More and more charged and met a similar fate, and I continued to leisurely walk closer and closer to Yue.

Time left: 2 minutes 21 seconds

She coughed up blood but wiped the side of her mouth with skinned hands turned pink.

“Yue,” I say in a firm voice, kneeling down beside her, “I want you to team up with me.”

Yue was, unfortunately, part of the main cast, but more importantly, she’d become one of the strongest of the demon disciples in Surviving My First Round with the Demon Bull King as her sponsor. As one of the only beings to ever match Sun Wukong, the greatest Chinese divinity, the Demon Bull King was a truly formidable wrath.

Wei looked over, admiration and idolism glinting in his surprised expression. He nudged Yang’s arm while Yang was trying to wipe off the bug guts from his hands. “Peijin is so generous,” Wei whispered when I extended my hand out toward Yue. Wei was too far to be in earshot, but he was receptive to my actions.

Yue snickered and tilted her head back, eyeing me as I stared at her busted lip. “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

“No, not really,” I gave a toothy grin as she sat up and reached for my hand. Suddenly, her hand slammed against my gut with unexpected force, causing me to fall back onto the ground mostly from surprise.

“These observers and stars do come in handy, huh?” Yue dusted herself off, readjusted her school skirt, and crossed her arms as she hovered over me.

How could she possibly have enough stars to level up her strength that much? I groaned, getting up rather quickly. She should have what, maybe 500 or 600 stars? That wasn’t enough to overpower my physique level.

Observer 'Nipon23': Sorry not sorry Jia Li

You have received a new review!

0.5 / 5: Liu Yue needs to win this fight. Wu Peijin is beyond incompetent.

Seriously? That guy gave Yue stars?

And, if these insulting observer ratings had an impact on my progression, I was completely fucked.

I quickly checked to see how the chapter was progressing, looking at the blue screen.

Percent killed: 52%

The Azure Dragon gawked as it redirected the broadcast back toward my fight with Yue.

[Seems like a lot is going on here, too! Feel free to donate some more stars to my broadcast, so I can bring you better content!] The Azure Dragon batted his long gold lashes at an invisible camera just above Yue and me.

Looks like the goblins had done their job at killing the majority of the population… but still, something about this was unsettling. The number shouldn’t have climbed so quickly. As per the Azure Dragon’s comment, where else would a cooler disciple interaction be taking place? I was at a better spot than Feiyu at this point of the story.

Returning my focus to Yue, she must not have invested many stars into physique given her labored breathing and the sweat on the brow.

I didn’t want to use this many stars for the prerequisite arc, but it looked like I had to.

You might be reading a pirated copy. Look for the official release to support the author.

2000 stars used.

Strength level 5 → level 15

“Sorry, Yue, I don’t think you understand what’s happening,” I slowly stood up and lowered my hands to my sides, trying to avoid intimidation. “Your fortune ends here.”

Disciple Yue has unlocked skill ‘Demonic Fire!’

Disciple Yue has activated ‘Demonic Fire!’

Yue’s fists started glowing with an ominous black and purple flame that flickered up her arm. She looked down in amazement, a chaotic grin lighting up her expression. “Did you predict this, then?”

This time on impact, her fist threw me backward and hurdled me straight into the fence on the side of the freeway. My body crashed straight through the metal railing before I collapsed into the ground like a starfish, groaning. Wei sprinted over to me, lifting me up and slapping my face to try and keep me conscious. He stood before me, blocking Yue from me as he armed himself with metal rubble from the car accidents.

You have unlocked skill ‘Hindsight!’

Hindsight activated!

[... This seems to be a very embarrassing play on behalf of our… fortune teller.]

At once, my eyes began glowing a deep blue and the entire world like frames on a film. Yue's hands continued to a glow with the demonic flames, but she was overshadowed by a blue tint and countless white text before her describing every potential move, every potential detail.

The amount of information was overwhelming, and with every breath she took, it constantly shifted to show possibilities in blips of red and purple frames. Above her, a strange, ominous green creature with pointed ears and a squished face lurked, glaring at me with glowing eyes—only hindsight allowed me to see him.

The demon 'King of Resourceful Goblins.' That bastard was still mad at me for killing all those goblins, and now, he was controlling Yue's movements in an attempt to kill me.

Observer ‘Socrates’: You just lost a bunch of observers from that hit, Jia Li.

I grabbed Wei’s shoulder, gently pushing him to the side. “I’m fine, Wei. I’m just really pissed off now.”

Yue faced me, angling her chin up with both of her arms now blazing with demonic fire. Admittedly, I hadn’t quite seen this coming; even though the skill was the same as in Surviving My First Run, she hadn’t activated it until the second arc. These observers were seriously throwing off my entire story just like they did before the apocalypse.

“Come back for more, Peijin?” She must have picked up my name earlier from Yang’s shout. Yue announced my name, and it only sounded more like an insult.

I spit out blood onto the freeway, causing a thick splatter just a few feet away. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.” My two hands were raised in front of me and gestured for her to make the first move. "I'm not here to fight you."

Yue stared at me, dumbfounded, before she burst out laughing, borderline cackling like a hyena. "Ha! You're really something."

"I'm not talking about you, you narcissist. I'm talking about the demon you made a deal with."

As soon as Yue moved, the blue frames highlighted the most likely possibility before vanishing, forcing me to synthesize all the information in a mere moment.

Yue’s fist barely missed my right cheek as I dodged, side-stepping at the last possible moment. I let out a sigh of relief—maybe I’d be able to keep a sliver of dignity despite the Azure Dragon’s convoluted broadcasting.

I shouted over the sound of chaos, sucking in a quick breath. "These aren't your movements! You let the Goblin King control your body to kill me, didn't you?" I spat.

A flaming fist narrowly missed the top of my head before I quickly ducked down, jumping out to the side and quickly regaining my footing. Yue’s jaw was clenched tightly, her brows furrowed in rage, but she continued to throw violent punch one after another.

“What’s wrong, Yue? Cat got your tongue?” I smirked, lightly jumping back and forth between my two feet. Growing more comfortable with the hindsight skill, I danced around her in a teasing, mocking manner.

You have received a new review!

4.5 / 5: Wu Peijin is very quick to understands her opponents, and she pieces together complex deals or relationships with seeming ease. She's not as good as Qiu Feiyu, though

Yue let out a frustrated cry as she battered me with her fists, yet I easily blocked every single move with the side of my forearms. The positive review seemed to fill my body with a sudden burst of revitalized energy. Each burst of flames would leave the top-most surface of my skin charred black, but thanks to my physique level, it quickly dusted off.

My leg smashed into her side, launching her into the pavement once more. Her body crunched on the pavement, leaving a human-shaped indent, before she skid a few feet further. Yue drooped, unconscious, as she laid on the crusted asphalt with spit dripping out of her open mouth.

Flipping through the Azure Dragon store, I quickly purchased a weak exorcism potion and shoved it into her mouth, forcing her to swallow the black liquid. With a rancid puff of smoke, the goblin demon's energy burst out of her mouth with a loud cry before exploding into sparks.

A god influencing such an early chapter would undoubtedly be subjected to the horrific punishments of karma. After all, karma was all-powerful.

My feet crunched on the broken glass that was scattered around the freeway as I picked Yue up, wrapped my jacket around her waist, and threw her over my shoulder. I held onto her thighs and walked back to the pest control car, dumping her body in the back seat.

At the assault of their leader, dozens of goblins shrieked and charged at me, furiously wielding their battered sticks and stones. A clever few even picked up shards of glass and attempted to slash my legs.

With a light side kick, an entire row of them faded into black ash as I made my way back to the van. Countless of the grotesque green creatures, however, continued to swarm people on the streets that previously tried to attack them.

Observer ‘Socrates’: Jia Li!! You’re so popular! Wait till they find out you wrote Surviving My First Run! That's the ultimate review bomb LOL

I finally made it back to the pest control van and let out a heavy sigh, sinking against the side of the battered truck. This had become much more convoluted than I was hoping for. It seemed like they had already invested their stars.

Yang moved to assist me, but Wei shot me a conflicted expression as he eyed Yue with disdain in his expression.

“I don’t like her either,” I reassured Wei, “but you can’t deny how powerful she is.”

With a blue flash, the timer for the first chapter flashed, marking the end of the first challenge.

Chapter #1 - Prerequisite has concluded

Stars received: 21,400

[https://i.imgur.com/OfLbZeq.png]