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Chapter 46

I saw many things.

As I looked into the past, I saw that some of my memories had been lost. Others had been tampered with. Tiphoon did it a lot, but before him others also did it.

So I am not my memories.

As I looked deeper, I saw that long before I was sent to Tiphoon, long before my heart was first enveloped by Gaia, my True Heart didn’t exist.

As I pried deeper, I saw as Gaia took small pieces of Hearts and kept them together. They attracted each other and eventually become full hearts, ready to be enveloped by Reason Cocoons. The Key of Reason. That was it.

My own True Heart was made of many pieces.

So I am not my True Heart.

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I pried further.

My True Heart pieces came from many, many beings.

They had many, many memories.

I was anxious, so I selected only one of them. And I looked further and further.

I began following my heart.

Then I followed a single piece of heart.

Then I followed a smaller piece.

And another, another…

Until I found the beginning of that small piece. And it was a small ray of light.

There was nothing else beyond that. Only nothingness.

The limit of Time. The limit of Past. The nothingness at the beginning of everything.

I am not any of that, but somehow that is also part of me. That small strand of light is in my heart.

If all pieces of me begun there, then is this what I am? 

A collection of small rays of light from the beginning of time?

Still, that doesn’t satisfy me.

Because those rays aren’t me. They are only pieces of me. All I am is the union of them, right here, right now.

Even if they form again in the future, they won’t be me. I am me, just here, just now.

I am the collection of things which exist here, and now. At this moment. No other. I am not what my pieces where back them. I am not my memories, I have no true past. I simply am, right here, and right now.

I have no past, and I have no future. I only have now. An Eternal Now.