It was a bright, sunny day in Rome when I descended from the heavens as the savior of the Romans. Unfortunately, my entrance had some ehh… let’s say… technical issues.
“S*it s*it *sit s*it heeeeelp-”
I know, I didn’t sound like a savior in particular, but give me some credit! It’s my first time! And besides, I was a little distracted.
The clouds had parted, and the sun was smiling a warm hello to the city below. Just a few blocks beneath me, I could make out the outline of a bustling city, slabs of brick and clay stretching for miles. In the distance, if you looked closely enough, you might be able to catch a glimpse of the towering statues, the sprawling palaces, or the massive colosseum, ever looming over the Roman’s heads. It would’ve been an amazing sight, if I wasn’t falling to my death.
I have to admit, of all the ways to arrive in Rome, being splattered on the sidewalk like bird poop wasn’t on the top of my list.
Lydia’s words came back to my mind.
“That would be… quite a difficult choice, actually… rather weak in the beginning.”
As I would soon learn, Lydia was prone to understatements. Which often causes some quite painful problems for me!
Ok fine, maybe it was a mistake, picking this power, but I wouldn’t let it stop me! With a quick scan, I caught sight of the countless clothes being hung out to dry below. They were connected to the apartment blocks by ropes. Many, many, ropes.
Reaching out my hand with a flailing desperation steady determination, I grabbed on to the ropes. My descent slowed, and for a moment I was hanging just above the streets, with the sun at my back, arms spread like an angel from heaven.
Then the rope snapped, and I screamed like a little girl.
As I landed, I heard a wet squelch beneath me, then a crack. Wood snapped, and I yelped as a fruit stand collapsed on my face. Then came the clothes. All of them. As I groaned and scrambled to regain my senses, several families’ worth of laundry crashed onto my head.
“F*ck.” I groaned. My arms, my legs, my bottom. Everything hurt. I moved to stand, but winced a bit as my left leg gave out under me. Not the best of landings. The tarp of the fruit stand had fallen on top of me, and now everything was dark. Somewhere around me, I could hear people talking, bustling movement, but not much else. All in all, a pretty shitty start.
I rubbed my head. That was… a fall. I shifted around cautiously. Was anything broken? The thought was strange. It sure felt like something should’ve broken, but then… nothing did. Lucky landing? Something buzzed in my ears as the pain flared up, making me groan.
Thankfully, the feeling didn’t last. My attention was all stolen by the ever familiar message that all litrpg readers dreamed to see.
[Heaven’s System announcement]:
Hello user, and welcome to [Ancient Rome]. We look forward to guiding you on a fun and enjoyable experience. Please swipe left to access the main menu and stat screens. In case of emergencies, please contact your liaison, [Lydia].
Note: Response times may vary based on network traffic. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.
“Hell yes!” Briefly, my fear was replaced by excitement, I swiped left.
[User: Roland Frost]
Stats:
HP:50/100
Str:10
Int:10
Dex:10
Char:5
Lck: {Nan}
50/100? Now that was concerning. The fall left me half dead, quite literally. I could probably regenerate that, knowing litRPG logic, but still… I shouldn’t do that again.
But the HP drop was hardly the most galling, no. 10 Str, Int, and Dex? Average in… everything? Then that 5 Char stat? Now that was infuriating! Ok fine, I’m bad with girls, and I have no friends, but that’s no excuse to sell me short like this! They could’ve at least given me 1 point extra somewhere to compensate. Anywhere.
It would’ve made me feel a lot better, at any rate. Much better than the luck stat. Nan? What did that even mean? Well, I suppose there was a way to find out. I slid my hand across the screen, towards my special power.
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Launch AI? [yes/no]
I selected yes.
Hello! How can I assist you today?
I grinned, and I felt my heart racing. My god… an AI, an actual AI! Right here in front of me! Come on, who wouldn’t be excited?
Hi there! Tell me a bit about yourself.
As I watched, the AI generated its response.
Of course! I'm ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI. My purpose is to assist and provide information on a wide range of topics. I'm trained on a diverse dataset that includes books, articles, websites, and other text sources, allowing me to generate responses based on the information I've learned. Whether you have questions, need help with a problem, or just want to have a conversation, I'm here to assist you to the best of my abilities. How can I assist you today?
Huh. ChatGPT? Well, I was expecting something a bit more flashy, I suppose. But who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth?
I just got my stat sheet generated, and my luck stat is listed as {Nan}, do you have any idea what this means?
A NaN (Not a Number) value typically indicates an error or an undefined result in mathematical computations. In the context of a stat sheet, if your luck stat is listed as NaN, it suggests that there was an issue or inconsistency in calculating or assigning a specific value to your luck stat.
Well… thanks, I suppose. But then that isn’t too useful. I shelved the thought, and then went to work on exploring my new power. Or at least I would’ve, if a man didn’t yank the tarp off my head.
I blinked a bit as the light slapped me back into reality. I was in the middle of a street in ancient Rome, and a small crowd had gathered. Or well, it used to be small. Probably. It certainly wasn’t anymore.
All around the streets, eyes stared at me. I stared back.
People from all walks of life seemed to have gathered here. Men and women, children and servants. People wearing cloth of every color. They were everywhere, in front of me, behind me, at the sides, and they didn’t seem too happy.
Shouts came from every side. Too much for me to process.
Quis es?
Unde Venis?
Quid vis in urbe nostra?!
Que vis ta… something. I’ll be honest, I can’t really follow at this point.
I scramble to my feet, holding up my hands. “Wait, wait!” I shouted. “I come in peace!”
It was then I realized, too late, that I couldn’t speak Latin.
God damn it! All isekai settings were supposed to be english. Or korean. Or whatever else the earth person spoke. How else were they meant to do well… anything?
I gulped. Lucky me. Looks like I’d have to find out. The hard way.
The crowd didn’t seem to be calming down. One person in particular was advancing, pushing past the others and he rushed towards me. I found myself shrinking back as he approached, my mouth widening. “Oh, f*ck.”
He was a big man, his rounded pot belly making him seem as wide as he was tall. Fat, flesh fingers gripped a vine of sorts, now soaked with the juice of all the fruit I had sent splattering over the streets. His face was soaked too, as was his simple white tunic.
In any other situation, I might’ve laughed, or maybe cracked a joke or two. Picture this: a hulking, fat giant of a man, waving some vine as he screamed incoherently. With half his face a cherry red and the other half dyed purple from fruit juice, he seemed like an angry cartoon character. I would’ve chuckled, if I weren’t on the receiving end.
“Barbarus!” He roared, waving his vine in the air. “Ubi est denarius?”
I gulped. Whatever that meant, I couldn’t even guess. But I’d bet my life savings that it wasn’t a good thing. Not that I had any.
“No, no, no.” I protested. “This is a misunderstanding!”
My diplomacy didn’t seem to work. The man continued advancing, his eyes blazing bloody murder. With a meaty finger, he pointed towards his even meatier palm. “Ubi est denarii?”
Wait… denarii? that sounded familiar. I didn’t pay that much attention in history class, but still, the name was familiar. As I retreated, I slipped, and I fell back onto my bottom with a yelp. There was a clinking sound, and something flew off. The man dove after it.
As I sat back up, I found myself staring at the man’s outstretched hand, with a small silver coin in the center.
It clicked suddenly. Right. Denarii. That was what they called money. For a moment, I was proud of myself. Then I realized-
“Oh… um… I…” I stared up at the man looming over me. “I…”
He said something I couldn’t catch, and made another gesture towards his hand, more violently. I gulped. “No Denarii.” I tried, scrambling until my back hit the remnants of the fruit stand behind me. “I have no Denarii!”
“Non?” Then he threw his head back and laughed.
Huh?
I stared for a moment, mystified, as the man clutched his overfilled stomach. Was he joking with me? A small, hesitant smile made it’s way to my face. “Ha! Yeah, that’s right! No big deal, am I right?”
I should’ve noticed the quickly departing crowd, their terrified, almost piteous gazes. I should’ve noticed the mother holding up a hand to shield her child’s eyes, or the old man quietly shaking his head. But I didn’t.
It was then that I felt the prod of cold metal at my back. As I spun around, I saw a soldier, his hands gripped a wickedly sharp spear.
“Esne civis Romanus?”
The fat man answered on my behalf. “Non.”
The soldier glanced at me one more time, then he drew out a pouch and threw it. The fat man scrambled after, clutching it like his firstborn child. Inside the pouch, I could catch a glimpse of silver. Lots of silver.
I blinked. “Wha-”
It was then that I realized, too late, that the soldier had brought something else. As he lifted his arm, I found myself staring at a heavy chain.
***
Cheers greeted me as I marched into the colosseum. As I stared up at the high walls and countless rows of seats, it struck me just how many people there were.
The stadium was the size of a football field across, and several stories high, each row packed full of hundreds upon hundreds of people. Up in the stands, a jostling mob reigned supreme, shouting and fighting and cheering with a raucous spirit that would’ve put any NFL stadium to shame. Together, an endless sea of humanity, their roars were deafening.
I received this rock star’s reception, along with the few hundred others that had been picked off from god knows where. Shame, they didn’t seem to appreciate the attention. I certainly did. This had to be the first time anyone has cheered for me since… well… ever. Well, me and a few hundred others, but still, it was something!
I grinned at my newfound compatriots with some confusion. Why did they all look so… glum?
In stark contrast to the roaring audience, most of my fellow rockstars were quiet, almost despondent. Heads drooped, shoulders were hunched. Bare feet dragged on the coarse, sandy pit below. I saw a young woman clutching her child, a boy of five or maybe six. She was hugging him, whispering, her eyes glistening with tears. Another man embraced her, his breathing uneven.
Soldiers approached them, keys in hand. As I watched, their hands were unlocked, and their shackles were carried off. Soon, it was my turn, and I wiggled my fingers with a smile.
Free? nice!
I waved and blew a few kisses at the crowd. Most ignored me, or maybe they didn’t see, but I got a few laughs. My smile widened slightly.
I could get used to this.
Then I heard the trumpet. Loud, blaring, it sent reverberations throughout the arena. With an ominous creak, the gears shifted behind the metal gates. As I watched, the steel bars lifted like the mouth of some hungry thing preparing for a feast.
Then came the growls, the roars. Low and rumbling at first, then loud, louder than any blasts of trumpet could hope to match. As I stared, wide eyed, lions came into view, their pink tongues flicking across bloodied manes and grimy paws. They smiled at me; baring sharp, wicked yellow teeth.
For once, I wasn’t smiling back.