“Oh come on, come on.” I pleaded. My voice was trembling as I spoke.

I backed away, hands on my sword. It felt awkward, trying to hold it. Like trying to lift a tree. My shoulders were sore already.

“You can’t do this.”

“I’m afraid I have no choice.” Gaius said, drawing closer. His blade shone under the sunlight, sparkling light a lightsaber.

“Traitor! I trusted you!” I shouted.

Gaius yawned. “Surprised? This is Rome, you’ll have to get used to it. The last two emperors said the same thing.” He swung.

I tried to block. Weakly. There was a brief clash, and I winced as my arm was twisted down at an unnatural angle. I did the normal thing, and let go of my sword. It hit the ground with a clatter. Just in time for Gaius to slash my throat.

“Dead.” He said, sounding more disappointed than anything.

I grumbled. We were in the courtyard at the back of my new villa, and Gaius had already started my combat training. Only it wasn’t called combat training. The liar, he hoodwinked me by saying he’d instruct me on politics!

Last I checked, politics didn’t involve trying to literally kill your political enemies? I mean, come on. Stuff is bad, but it hasn’t gotten that bad… right? Well, I wouldn’t know, I don’t follow it closely enough to say.

But I wasn't the politician here. Apparently.

“Wrong, wrong, wrong.” Gaius shook his head. “You have to hold a sword with two hands while moving, Roland.” He grabbed my other arm, and forced it onto the pommel. “Seven finger grip, like this. Use your pinkie finger on the left to direct the blade, and your thumbs to balance.”

I tried, but unfortunately, I was all thumbs. The blade wobbled as I attempted to steady it. I swung at the air in frustration, but only succeeded in almost falling over.

What I would’ve give for a skill point in swordsmanship! Alas, all I had was…

GPT, how do I swing a sword?

Practice: Practice regularly to develop strength, coordination, and muscle memory. Start with slow, controlled movements and gradually increase speed and intensity as you become more comfortable with the technique.

Remember, safety is paramount when practicing with a sword. Always use appropriate protective gear, such as gloves and goggles, and practice in a controlled environment under the supervision of a qualified instructor if possible.

Very helpful, I know. And I chose this over super strength? Idiocy, I tell you. Absolute clownery.

“Mars be cursed, Fraus! What did they teach you as a child? Did your drill instructor not teach you how to take a proper stance?” Gaius gave my back leg a good kick. “Keep your feet apart. Don’t walk like you’re delivering wine!”

I stumbled some more. “Ok, ok, ok, I get it! I’m new to this!”

“I can tell.” Gaius sighed. “What was your drill instructor doing?”

“What drill instructor?”

He stared. “You did not have an instructor?”

“Well… no. We had school. Think…” I scrunched up my face. “Many instructors, many students.”

“And none of them taught you how to fight?”

“No!” I gasped, horrified. Well… that’d have been cool, actually, but no.

“What shall you do if an assailant is threatening you?”

“Oh, easy, we call the police.”

Gaius’ eyes bulged. “You would trust the government to protect you?”

“Uhh… yes?”

“I suppose things are different in Olympus. Rest assured, men are much less trustworthy than gods, and far more bloodthirsty. You will have to be ready for them.”

Well, hard to argue with that. I thought of the fat soldier, laughing as he drew close to Tana. I shuddered. My grip on the sword tightened. Ready, huh? Well… I knew someone I wanted to thrash the next time it came to a fight.

Gaius shook his head. “How am I to work with this? No experience to speak of. You are as green as a peasant conscript.” He gritted his teeth. “Tell me, what did they teach you?”

“Well… reading, writing, math, some history-”

“No, no.” He waved his hand. “The useful stuff.”

Silence.

“Roland?” He prompted.

I shrugged helplessly. “You asked for the useful stuff.”

He buried his face in his hands. “Come now, there must be something. Did they teach you at least how to march in lines?”

“Well… yes, actually.”

Gaius’ ears perked up. “How to obey orders?”

“Yes?”

“How to perform drills, even when tired and bored?”

“Splendid! Something to work with!”

Gaius lifted his shield. It was a heavy thing, red and gold with a Roman motto inscribed atop. Dark bronze domes were scattered over the surface, shields atop shields. It looked like a good thirty pounds at least.

“Lift this over your head, 100 times.”

I stared at him like he was crazy. “What? But… why?”

“You want to get stronger, yes?”

“Well… yeah?”

Come on, it wasn’t just us isekai protagonists. What kinda guy wouldn’t wanna get stronger?

“Then work! How else shall you get stronger? Magic?”

I was tempted to retort yes, but then that route seemed less viable for me. I checked my XP bar. It was empty.

XP to next level: 10,000

Right… how many lions was that again? Probably best not to think too hard about it.

I gritted my teeth. God damn it! My powerup was supposed to replace all the hard work! Wasn’t that the whole point? But oh, of course I had to choose a stupid AI instead of anything actually useful.

I looked at the shield apprehensively, and then tried to lift it. I yelped. God damn was it heavy. I grunted, struggling to lift it over my head. “O-one.” I was sweating already. “Hhrr– two.”

Gaius was smiling now, but it wasn’t a good smile. You know that smile the coach gets when he sees the new kid trying his best and doesn’t have the heart to tell him how badly he’s doing? “Your… doing great!”

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I made it to five with inhuman effort, and then dropped the shield with a clang. I gotta say, I’m proud of not hitting my leg. I sat, panting.

“Roland!” Gaius admonished. “Keep going! One More! I know you have it in you!”

Is this the one more rep scam?

“Alright, alright, I will! Just… give me a moment.” I sucked in greedy gulps of air. “ Is there a fitness test or something? What does this have to do with politics?”

The scoundrel! He got me to do so much without ever explaining himself!

“Why, everything, of course. You need to be powerful. Project strength. Who’ll support you otherwise? And besides, every good soldier needs a strong body.”

“I thought…” The struggling had a lot more to do with my panting than the language issues this time. I’m improving, okay! “I’m politician, not soldier?”

Gaius scratched his chin. “Is there a difference?” He counted on his fingers. “Julius Caesar, tribune, but a general. Augustus Octavian, emperor, also a general. Marius, Scipio, Pompey… come now, Roland. Everybody important has gone into the military at some point. Even Crassus!”

The names didn’t mean anything to me except for Caesar, but this wasn’t the time to look dumb, so I nodded.

“And besides, we’re going into politics. Want to know what people respect most in politics?”

“Charisma?”

“Maybe, but no.”

I scratched my head. “Leadership?”

“Eh… not quite. I could see it though.”

“Competence at governing?”

Gaius laughed. “Come on now, Roland. Since when has that ever won an empire?”

Ok, fair enough. I guess some things never change.

“No, no. It’s strength, Roland! It doesn’t matter what people think as long as they do what you say? What gets them to do that? Not anything else, it’s fear! Especially for your enemies. If they cause a ruckus you’ll be having headaches dealing with them.”

What?

“So I should be… gang member?”

“What’s that?”

“Criminals. Terrify people into obeying. Collect taxes.”

“Sounds like a government to me.” He muttered. “Look, Roland. I can’t spell this out more clearly for you. If you want to make politics in Rome you’ll need to know how to fight. Especially the people who don’t agree with you. Trust me, they’ll know also, and if you don’t they’ll walk right over you.”

“But… but…” I stammered.

“I thought this was a democracy. Shouldn’t the people decide?”

“This is a Roman democracy, Roland! Rome understands that a leader needs to have the power to decide for the people if necessary. And besides, what sort’ve people would vote for a weakling? Have you ever seen someone voting for an eighty year old elder half a step from their grave?”

“Well…”

Gaius gave him a funny look. “Really? Guess it’s some old history I never heard about then. They must be weak people. I wonder how many wars they lost.”

I decided to stay quiet this time.

But still…

“Whatever made you such an expert on politics?”

“I’m a praetorian, Roland.” He deadpanned. “We’re both politicians already, like it or not. Remember that senator we stole from? The man who we work for? Politicians, all of them. By Styx, the big guy won’t be sitting his fat arse on his palace chair if it weren’t for us. We replaced the old praetorians, did you know? That’s how he become emperor. And that’s how he’ll stay that way.”

“Wait.. aren’t we supposed to work… for the emperor?”

“Yes.” Gaius said earnestly. “For the emperor. Whomever that is, well…” He shrugged. “I’d prefer to work for the one who pays me the most money. If that involves a few knife wounds, well…” He grinned. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

Let’s hope the secret service never learns a thing from these guys.

“But let’s get back to training. You’ve had your break.”

I cursed god under my breath.

Gaius was back in a combat stance now, his sword firmly in hand. I blinked as I realized how different he must’ve looked. Where my grip was wobbly and my balance was off, Gaius looked ready. Like, one cut from killing you ready.

I scrambled to match his stance, though it must’ve looked rather panicked. “Not bad.” He observed.

“Now, respond again.” His sword flew forwards in a flash. I scrambled to block, wincing as the metal clanged. Shockwaves ran down my arm, but I held on this time. Barely. I scrambled back, off balance.

“No, no. Why did you block?”

“Because… you were swinging at me?”

“Was that the only way you could’ve avoided being hit?”

I stared at him for some time before it clicked. “Oh.”

“Try again.”

He swung. I scrambled back, though this time I almost tripped over a rock. Gaius’ blade flashed past the air where I was harmlessly.

“Move one foot at the time when retreating, always with your back foot first. Shuffle. But better. Now…” He paused, his blade now at his far right side after the swing. He hadn’t moved it back. “Why are you just standing there?”

“Oh.” I was grinning now. I lunged forwards, my sword swinging down with a vengeance as I leaped. The metal glinted in the sky, glowing with power… and then completely missed as Gaius took two steps back. Unlike me, though, he was unfazed, and completely off balance.

Gaius made a simple motion then. Sword forwards, sword back. Perfectly simple, inelegant, uninteresting. But it struck me right above the skin of my heart. “Dead.” He said, poking me.

I fumed.

Gaius gave me a questioning look. “Say, where did you learn to expose yourself so completely after every attack? Were the warriors you watched all drama performers?”

“Well…”

“That explains a lot.” Gaius took in a breath. His voice slowed down. “A battle is not a play. There is no need to impress some imaginary audience. If you lose, though, you’re dead.” He lifted his sword. “Simple motion. Stab.” He moved the sword forwards, and back. “No loss of balance. No misdirection. No energy lost. You can do this forever. If they do what you did.” He pointed his sword at my chest again. “They’d die. Pretty fast.”

Aw. But I wanted to look cool tho…

But then, there were bigger problems. I frowned. “But how would we win then?”

“Mistakes. Even the best fighter gets tired. Or enraged. Or just has a bit of bad luck. If they lose balance and create an opening for you, that’s how you win. Let me demonstrate.” He lunged at me again.

I yelped, stumbling back. I jerked to the side as he stabbed forwards, and swung my sword up to parry his swing.

Clang! I stumbled back as my arms shook, the striking swords making my muscles tense with effort as I tried to hold the blades in place. Then Gaius slid, and the locked blades came free.

My sword went flying in the air, leaving me completely open.

“There.” He poked me in the chest again. “See, you never know where exactly a swing might be coming from. One slash from one bad place at a bad time, a mistimed parry. Anything could be fatal.”

Wait…

“Can you do that again?” I asked. I felt an idea coming to mind. Grabbing the menu, I hit the pause button. I took a look at Gaius. A good, hard look. Then, I hit unpause, then pause again.

Time moved so slowly as I spammed the button, flashing glances at Gaius all the while. Seeing the way his eyes turned towards me. The way his shoulders moved. The direction his blade was pointed in, the tense in his muscles, the spring in his legs.

“Sure.” The word came out slowly, like he was underwater. The whole thing felt surreal, like I was watching a movie play at x0.10 speed.

But I saw him moving this time. Already, I was moving back. I saw his eyes slowly widen in surprise as his arms shifted, the blade suddenly traveling in a different direction.

Ah, so that was what redirecting a swing looked like. Cool.

I suddenly dodged another direction. Gaius’ sword passed by harmlessly.

He raised an eyebrow. “Interesting. Did your reflexes just improve?” He swung again, just as carelessly. I dodged.

“Huh.” His swings got more serious now, focused. But I dodged, and dodged, and dodged. None of them hit.

“So this is how you beat the lions?” He asked. He was attentive now, his face serious. “Well…”

He sprinted forwards, his feet hitting the earth in soft thumps. I swallowed. How to dodge…

Well, I guess I could run, but then I doubt I had more stamina than him. I raised my sword to parry, but this time, it actually seemed to work. There was a spark of light as metal hit metal, but this time, I didn’t feel off balance. In fact, I could start to press my advantage a little, grinning as I forced the whole weight of my body down on Gaius’ swordpoint. It started wobbling.

“Ha!” I did the motion this time as I forced him back. Stab forwards.

Unfortunately, I made the rookie mistake of celebrating too early. Gaius lunged down, letting my sword graze by his neck. I wobbled, trying to redirect the blade, but it wasn’t fast enough. His sword poked me in the chest, just a half second before I had him.

“Damn it!”

“Hey, that was close!” Gaius said, impressed. “You’re a fast learner, Roland!”

Well… not really, I kinda cheated.

But that was neither here nor there.

“So, are we done?”

“With sparring? Sure. I’ll need some time to figure out how to deal with you. But…”

YESS!!

He fetched his shield. “That means we’ll be taking some time to build up your strength instead.”

Oh… oh no.

I could swear he was smirking. “Ninety five to go. Finish strong.”