I found Juniper in one of Bramble Watch’s rare ground level areas after the sun had already gone down. Two pine trees grew slightly offset from each other, but their roots wove together in such a way that it kept the surrounding ground in place. It felt spongy to walk on, but not to the point I thought I would plunge a foot through it if I jumped. The tribesfolk had grown their bramble wall around the small area and two sentries watched the surrounding landscape from the top of the wall. Within the walls everything glowed. Lines, dots, larger spots, all glowed greenish-white as they swirled across the tree’s trunks and roots, spongy ground, and the walls—though nothing went higher than the bottom half of the wall. Taking a closer look at the glowing section closest to me, I saw that it was some sort of paste that had been painstakingly painted onto the bramble vines, thick in some places and thinner in others, seemingly on purpose based on how even the applications were.
I took a step back, blinked, and an image resolved from the glowing paste and contrasting dark surface behind it. A tree full of blooming flowers and hanging vines. The artist had even used the unevenness of the walls to add some texture to the painting.
Taking in the other scenes I could pick out, I saw Juniper’s mother, more nature scenes, battles between fish and people. Some abstract bits that didn’t look like anything in particular. However, that all paled in comparison to the image that covered the entire bottom half of the back wall. The Water Frond Snake coiled around itself again and again, head dead center and mouth opened to strike at its next victim. The head jutted out from wall to form a morbid, glowing seat that Juniper watched me from.
She wasn’t in her normal clothes. Her entire outfit was white, highly impractical and exactly like the Water Frond Snake. It even had stitching reminiscent of snake scales to push the impression, though I didn’t remember seeing actual scales on the snake. It was also a dress, which I doubted I’d seen her wear before. Pale twigs were tied to the sides of her head to match the snake’s fronds and her hair was down which I knew was a rarity. The pearl was on full display on her forehead and she was looking at me like she expected criticism.
I settled on a thick root halfway across the small space even though I wanted to drag her off her self made throne or even simply pace back and forth. There was little doubt about who the artist was behind all the paintings. I still remembered how good she had been at the drawing portion of our lessons in the Seed Landing. But I couldn’t start with aggression. Juniper was making a point by meeting with me here and I wasn’t about to lose the first part of the battle by falling into her pace and doing what she likely expected me to do.
Juniper’s lips pressed together when she realized I wasn’t going to speak first. She tried to control the conversation anyway. “I know you’ve learned about the Water Frond Snake and have been wanting to speak with me.”
I just watched her. I needed her to make her argument first so I knew what angle I needed to take in order to change her mind.
A flicker of a frown and then she placed her hand on the constructed snake head. “I made this after the first time I joined the Water Frond Snake. I wanted to capture what it felt like.”
“Did it feel like being swallowed whole?” I let her bait me. Knowing how she felt was just as important as knowing her argument. Both could be used to my advantage and I needed everything I could get if I was going to pry her away from the idea that she had to give her mind to the Water Frond Snake.
“It felt like being made whole. I finally had a purpose I could fulfill, a way to help my people, rather than just pining for the day that I would join the whisper women and hoping that something might change. No questions, no doubts, just killing the enemy.”
My jaw clenched. That sort of conviction wouldn’t be easy to break.
But I also wasn’t about to give up before I had even really tried.
“You have other ways you can fight. There’s that water bubble trap you do and you have your boons.”
Juniper shook her head. “That’s not enough. The boons aren’t combat focused and the water trap is too slow, especially with the fish in the delta. I need to do what I can to keep my people from being overrun.”
“The delta is going to be abandoned.” Inwardly, I flinched. The statement had come out sharper than I intended, but perhaps it was best to be heavy handed. Juniper didn’t seem like she was going listen to anything solely based in logic. “Whether you give your mind to the Water Frond Snake or not. You’ll be risking yourself for no reason. The tribesfolk won’t be able to stay here.”
Her back straightened. “The Swirling Waters tribe have held our own here year after year without help. We’ll defend our home or die trying—no matter what the whisper women do.”
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“You’re a whisper woman.” Sapling was close enough to count.
“I’m the Pearl Bearer first.”
I glared at her. She had always been set on killing the fish and getting back to her people to protect them, but I hadn’t thought she’d throw away everything else so easily. I wondered if I would be acting the same way if I was given the opportunity to heal again, without consequence, except for possibly trapping myself and hurting those I meant to save.
Part of me insisted that I would take the opportunity without question if it was offered. The part of me that craved healing. But I craved it because it was a skill I built up through sweat and tears and no small difficulty. I had made it my own. A part of my identity that I had slowly been cleaving from myself for years.
Perhaps Juniper was the same…except she had never been forced to cut herself from the thing she identified with. She always had the pearl, used it even for the water bubble trap. She always had the conviction that she would return here, to the delta, and fight the fish, just like she was planning to do. And that conviction had only grown stronger when she hadn’t been able to outshine everyone else in our cohort. When she struggled with her sling and being up high and the shadow paths. When Ento and Idra abandoned her for reasons I still didn’t know or understand.
Every time she had trouble she likely had comforted herself with the thought that she still had the pearl. That only she could give her mind to that storming snake to fight the fish and protect the tribesfolk. No whisper woman could do that. Neither could any of her tribe’s fighters, her mother. They might be able to fight from the walkways and leave Bramble Watch without panicking, but they would all still be forced to turn to her, the Pearl Bearer, with things turned dire.
She was sure that things would change then. That she would feel fulfilled and accomplished and that she really would be able to turn back the horde on her own.
Nothing I said mattered. I wouldn’t be able to change her mind or stop her. I knew stubborn pride well and she was radiating it in thick waves. She needed this and she would force everything she could into making it happen.
My priorities changed.
I still didn’t want her stuck in the Water Frond Snake or being used without her knowledge, but she had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t care about the circumstances. She just wanted a straight fight against the fish using the most effective weapon she knew, a weapon only she could use.
She could have her fight.
After speaking with the others we had a plan—two actually—for bringing her back to herself. I wouldn’t have thought them possible before, but I also wasn’t used to always factoring others’ blessings into my plans, especially when they weren’t within my immediate group.
Now I was more concerned about what came after. What she might do if realized she couldn’t keep up with this horde of fish even as the Water Frond Snake or that the delta truly would be abandoned. Right now she thought she could do enough to change that…but based on what I knew of the proxy war I had my doubts.
However, I was sure of one thing: if I couldn’t stop her from making the mistake in the first place, she would only give her mind to the Water Frond Snake once. That’s where I had gone wrong with Fellen. I had tried to force her hand before she was able to even act on her convictions. This time, no matter how much I didn’t like it, I had to give Juniper the chance to fail, so that afterwards she couldn’t say she didn’t even get the chance to try. After that, no matter how much she hated me, I take more extreme measures to stop her from giving her mind to the Water Frond Snake. The costs weren’t worth it, especially when there were other options.
Still, I had one last thing to say, “When I was frozen all I could think about was getting warm, but I couldn’t shiver, couldn’t even blink. I needed to get warm, I was desperate for it, but I was helpless—and that was the true agony. No matter how much it physically hurt, no matter how much I told myself that I couldn’t die so it didn’t matter, I was desperate to get warm and there wasn’t a single thing I could do change the bone chilling cold. Nothing.
“I understand that when you give your mind to Water Frond Snake there’s a similar need to fight. You’ve done it once, so you know. Perhaps you’re certain you won’t get stuck or that you’ll tie yourself into knots before you can attack your people. All I can say is that I wouldn’t wish that state on anyone and that whatever control you think you have doesn’t matter in the face of it.”
“You’re not frozen now,” she pointed out.
I stood. “Only because of Prevna.”
Juniper crossed her arms. “I don’t need you save me.”
“We’ll see.” I turned to leave but stopped when she spoke again.
“I thought you’d try harder to stop me based on all those whispers you sent.”
My jaw clenched. “Are you going to change your mind?”
“No.”
My glare turned into a glower. “Then I’m not going to waste my breath. You think this is the best thing you can do? Fine, risk it. I’ll pick up the pieces after.”
She stood too but with a stomp. “What else am I supposed to do?”
All sorts of answers rose up on my tongue and…died. I could tell her about the plans I had made for fighting the fish, and I would, but that wasn’t what she was asking. Not really.
Nothing quite had filled the hole that healing had left after I ripped and cut out piece after piece of it. Learning poison was an interesting but poor substitute while becoming a skilled whisper woman was fulfilling in its own way but it wasn’t same refuge healing had been.
But healing was in the past now. I had made the decision to move on, so it had to stay that way.
I gave Juniper an honest answer. “I’m still figuring it out.”
“That doesn’t help.”
I glanced around the decorated space. “You could draw. You seem to like it enough.”
She scoffed. “How is that supposed to help with fighting?”
“Who said you had to be a fighter?” I asked. “We’re in the Hundred Eyes sect. You know enough to protect yourself, I doubt Ziek and Ingrasia expected much more than that.”
She looked conflicted, but not enough to stray from her current course.
I added, “Think on it.”
Then I left. If I couldn’t save Juniper from her convictions, then I’d just have to make sure I could save her from the aftermath, and for that plans had to be put in place.