We flew higher and higher towards the veil. Higher than we ever had reason to go before. Juniper had her eyes squeezed shut and looked like she was trying not to pass out or throw up. I focused on keeping my grip and guiding Anore, though she hardly needed help aiming for something that covered the entire sky. Part of me was tempted to try a few flying tricks with her, but I didn’t want puke blowing back in my face and it seemed idiotic to show off only to delay or hinder my chances of earning the second boon.
So we flew up as straight as possible without being completely vertical. Some of the cohort had already reached the veil and the rest weren’t far behind. Irritatingly, I couldn’t see the others’ reactions to taking the boon to better know what to expect as their birds blocked my view. Though it was interesting to see the birds circling overhead instead of immediately heading back down to the Rookery.
There had to be some reaction then to the boon, like there had been when we drank the piercingly cold shadows. I doubted that it’d be the same this time, but darkness and shadows were similar, so I braced myself for the idea that I might have to withstand another round of bone aching cold.
I had Anore level off just below the dark veil. In a way it remind me of the smoky mists in the shadow paths, though it didn’t move and was a hazy black rather than the silver-gray of the mists. Then I twisted onto my back and hooked one arm under a handle while I reached for my prayer needle with my other hand.
“You better take the boon!” I called to Juniper.
She yelled something unkind in return but when I tilted my head to look I saw her struggling to reach her waist, where he prayer needle would be secured, but she couldn’t quite get it with how she was trapped in Anore’s beak. Instead, she wiped the blood from where she had nicked her arm on Anore’s beak while trying to get the needle onto her other hand.
Surely, the goddess would understand blood was blood even though she hadn’t used the needle. I directed Anore to tilt to the side so that Juniper got just enough height that she could stick her bloodied hand into veil. When she pulled it free black smoke clung to her fingers, covering every spot her blood had been and nearly obscuring her hand. She stared at the darkness pensively for a long moment before she swiped it across her eyes and immediately went limp.
I watched her a bit longer as Anore leveled back out but Juniper didn’t so much as twitch. I sat up and looked beyond Anore’s wings. Breck and Loclen were winging their way back down, but everyone else was still struggling with the boon from what I could tell.
Well then. There wasn’t much information to go off of, but there hadn’t been with the first boon either. It was time to see what the others were having difficulty with and gain the boon for myself.
I pricked my wrists with the prayer needle, tucked it away, and then smeared the welling blood over my palms and fingers. No prayer this time. Just an offering. I stretched up, straining to reach without losing my balance, and sank first one hand and then the other into the veil.
It felt like nothing. Like I was only touching normal air but each time I pulled my hand free darkness clung to my skin. Very carefully, I laid back down in the saddle and hooked one arm under a handle while I wedged my feet under the other and tried not to touch the darkness to anything. Once I was as secure as I was going to get I drew in a deep breath. Then I covered both eyes with the darkness clinging to my fingertips.
The goddess’s gaze pierced through me. I froze and instinctively tried to hide myself from Her attention but it was no use. If the goddess wanted to look there was no stopping Her.
It was both like and very different from the times I had nearly died. Those times had been more…impersonal. Like the gaze had been more a function of Her power pulling me closer to death even as Her blessing kept me from it.
This was Her. Still probably an impossibly small mote of Her power and attention but I couldn’t deny that it felt like Heliquat was staring directly into my soul. And there was no secrets She didn’t know, no fears or desires She couldn’t judge. She could rip my soul from my blood and bones and all I could do was lay there and hope I didn’t offend Her gaze.
Pressure built around my eyes. But I couldn’t blink, couldn’t look away from the darkness covering everything. The sheer absence of light and the phantom flashes of thinking I could see a shape in the darkness only to realize my mind was desperately trying to make something out of nothing.
The goddess’s attention increased a hair and I was a breath away from the child that couldn’t stop offering blood as She walked by out of sheer awe and terror. But I was no longer that child and the goddess didn’t like weakness. So I set my jaw and resolutely stared back in the darkness as if it was my idea that I couldn’t stop looking rather than Her power.
Very mild acknowledgment. The faintest bite of interest.
Just like that I was swept up in another of the goddess’s tests. She didn’t speak but I felt the change and the invitation all the same.
You wish to see? Then look for as long as you can.
The phantom images that danced on the edge of my vision resolved themselves in bits and pieces. A cramped cell and a stick. Fish and Shore Eaters invading a forest. An old woman covered in scars and no one for company but shamble men in front of a splintered and broken Seedling Palace.
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Impossible things. Terrible things.
The Beloved smiling at a younger woman in a rounded hall that had to be in the goddess’s nest. Hands held fast with no owners but a feeling of security and home. A plant full of long, thin leaves and bunches of delicate petals with unforeseen potential.
Wonderful things.
A pine tree holding up a wilted suncrest vine—
I blinked without willing it or wanting to.
Things no one was supposed to see.
I blinked again but more out of shock than any need to clear my vision. Everything was black and silver and gray, but I could see. Everything was as clear as it would be during noon on a sunny day except for the lack of color. Even the veil overhead was no longer a simple mass of hazy back. Instead it looked like a complex pattern of very slightly changing shades. It was beautiful.
The dark no longer impeded my vision. Now we could be in the pitch black hut and see perfectly fine. Not be tied to fire except for warmth and cooked meals. I hadn’t been that excited to earn dark sight compared to the other boons, but now that I had it there was no denying how useful it could be.
“Are you alright?”
I twitched at Juniper’s question but I did everything I could not to show she had startled me. Between the new sight and the visions I had forgotten she was there. The goddess’s gaze had disappeared as soon as I blinked as well and that been distracting all on its own.
She continued, voice somewhat strained, “We should go back down if you’re ready.”
I glanced around and saw that we were the only ones still up in the air. Part of me wanted to ask if she had seen the visions as well but I kept my mouth shut. No one needed to know about them until I was sure they were more than a test of my resolve. I could think more about had happened once I was safely on the ground and alone.
“I’m fine.”
Juniper kept her eyes squeezed shut as we descended back down to the Rookery. Anore let me guide her to the runway even though she didn’t seem to have much trouble navigating in the dark and knew her way by heart. Really, while this had been our final flight test, it seemed more about gaining our boon than the flying skills we had polished over weeks of practice. The only one who might have failed it from what I could tell was Juniper and that was more so because she never even got the chance to start.
I had to stop myself from marveling at all the things I could see now as we got ready to land. It was so easy to see the cohort and tribe members gathered along the runway’s edge, the birds, and nests and all the little details that had been obscured by the darkness. I tore my eyes away and focused on not embarrassing myself in front everyone. Dark sight might not have the same learning curve as shadow walking, but my vision was still different than I was used to and that made it more likely that something could go wrong.
I gave Anore the signal to land and she glided gently toward the ground in the middle of the runway, nowhere close to clipping her wings on someone. I could have gone went down faster but I still didn’t trust that Juniper wouldn’t vomit if I did anything too fancy even if she looked like she wished the ground would hurry up and touch her feet. We landed with a bit of a jolt, but that was expected when Anore had more weight than normal with both of us weighing her down. After she ran off her momentum, she carefully placed Juniper on the ground while I got myself and the ladder untied so I could climb down.
Juniper laid on the ground until Tufani brought over the bird she was supposed to fly with. It was still saddled and ready to go. When Juniper opened her eyes and saw Tufani standing there with the bird her expression morphed into pure horror.
Tufani thumped her cane. “Relax and tend to your bird. You’ve clearly shown that it’s best for everyone if you don’t take the sky on your own. Should you ever need to fly again, you will be required to join one of our fliers or one of your own.”
“Oh.” Sullen embarrassment quickly overcame horror.
Tufani rested a hand on her shoulder. “You progressed more than most with your…condition. But you are not the first, nor will you be the last, who weren’t made for the skies. Find another strength and cultivate it.”
The Tamer had us remove the saddles from the birds and check both bird and equipment over before we could join the rest of the cohort. Wren was telling everyone about her experience and how it felt be under the goddess’s gaze while Loclen stared pensively off into the distance. Prevna bumped shoulders with me while she had a smug look on her face.
“Two down, two to go.”
I smiled back at her. “What do you think we’ll get next?”
She chuckled the smug look becoming more mischievous. “Adventure.”
I rolled my eyes and didn’t press her for a better answer as everyone settled down for a late feast as we watched the veil fade out and the night sky glimmer into existence. It made for an interesting change with my new sight. Where the cook fires spread their light I could see in color and where the stars helped chase away shadows it was closer to my old night vision, but if I looked further, into the places where the light didn’t reach, that was when the dark sight slide more into focus and made everything monochrome.
The next evening was when I truly learned what Prevna had meant when she answered my question. Mishtaw came to collect me after the Rookery tribe had their final ritual and burned the giant bonfire they had gathered together. They didn’t have any girls to send off to the Seedling Palace but there was still chanting and a procession and now everyone telling stories to pass the time until dawn.
Mishtaw hadn’t come alone. Eliss stood next to her and looked entirely displeased at being confronted with my face, but I ignored her to focus on my mentor.
“Are we leaving now?” My things were already packed and ready to go near the feathered tree.
“We are.”
The answer came from behind me. I spun to find Prevna with a pack on her back and looking very pleased with herself.
“But—”
She cut me off. “They know better than to split us up.”
Mishtaw added, “She can be very persuasive.”
I stared. I had been trying to figure out what I was supposed to say or do when it came time to leave, to make Prevna understand that I wasn’t abandoning her, and meanwhile she had a whole little plot she neglected to tell me about.
I glared at her, just a bit, and her grin got wider. Then I looked back at everyone who came over to the feathered tree to watch leave. A handful of the more curious tribe members, Tufani and Barra, and the cohort. I think Ulo showed up because she wanted to see with her own eyes that I wouldn’t around anymore. I wasn’t sure what to say to the others, so I just grabbed my things, nodded to them, and held my hand out to Mishtaw. Prevna hugged nearly half the cohort and then she was ready to go too.
Eliss took her hand in hers before Mishtaw asked, “Ready?”
We nodded again and the two whisper women stepped into the shadows.
—End of Book 3—