Jin gave me an appraising look with her unsettling yellow eyes as I approached her after the morning’s training while the cohort went to enjoy the midday meal. She had settled against the training ground’s railing, one leg lazily crossed in front of the other, while she lectured and we worked.
“Looking to challenge me now that you found the arena? I’m under no obligation to accept here.”
I leveled my own steady gaze at her. She might be a whisper woman and my mentor, but quailing wouldn’t help me here or anywhere. “Put me in charge of a team for the Hunter’s Quarry challenge.”
She snorted as her lips pressed together in wry amusement. “What makes you think there’ll be another one?”
“That’s not the kind of training you only do once.”
Acknowledgment passed over her face before Jin pressed her next question. “And why would I grant you such a position? I didn’t even assign leadership this past round.”
I stood as straight as possible. “Assign me as leader and I’ll prove that I can work with others.”
“You must think me a fool.” She pushed off the railing with the shake of her head before she started to circle me. “Once and done? Is that it? You think you can order a few of them around, if they would even listen to you, and claim teamwork?”
“I…” I swallowed the excuse I’d been about to utter. It wouldn’t help, especially not when she was right on the mark of what my plans had been. If I could show her that I could work with the others while I was still protected by the cold, then she could find a new target and I would be one step closer to my goal.
She stopped in front of me, gaze focused on the mark on my chin. “You should know true teamwork better than most, from what I hear.”
I couldn’t look her in the face any longer. “That was different.”
“Why?” Her tone didn’t permit silence.
I swallowed down the full truth and gave her what was left. “If we didn’t work together then we would have died.”
A wry smile twisted her lips. “Well, that’s not quite true, is it?”
My teeth ground together. “She would have died and I’d have spent who knows how long in Flickermark as close to it as I could be.”
“Indeed.” Jin’s smile turned more sinister. “What makes you think here is any different?”
Something writhed under the cold in my ribs as she delivered the question as if it was of no more importance than anything else she had said. It wasn’t thought I hadn’t known the Seedling Palace was dangerous, any place so close the goddess’s heart was bound to be, but those born with a bless mark were rare. Surely, the whisper women would do what they could to minimize accidental death. Nor was it like the dangers of the cold season had reached between the palace’s branches or bane packs stalked the paths.
Jin leaned back against the railing, arms crossed. “Your growth is your own.”
It was a threat, challenge, and dismissal all rolled into one. The only reason I didn’t flinch was because of the cold that made it so I could pretend like she was talking to someone else.
I left her and began to make my way toward the cooking area. I needed a new plan. Some other way I could prove myself without embroiling myself too deeply with the others. I already had tools for traps and poisons I was making in case Jin set us on another game where they could be useful.
The sticking point was dealing with other people. I could work on my own skills well enough, but Jin seemed to want us to be closer than Pack huntresses, as knowledgeable about each other as Grandmother and Old Lily, as understanding as Rawley had been with Crest, Keili, and Veris. It was too big of a demand.
And yet if we didn’t do it, she implied we might as well be leaving each other for dead.
I let out a long breath. Idra, Ento, and Juniper would make it, at least when it came to teamwork. The three of them were practically joined at the hip. If…if the other housing groups also kept on as they were, they would likely get to a point Jin would find acceptable as well. Nii would fill in the loose end Breck created in the third dome group and Loclen could join up with Prevna, Wren, and Dera if she really wanted.
Really, Breck and I were the only ones who didn’t automatically fit in with a group, but even she had managed to be partially included with the first dome group, if our training sessions were any indication. Which meant I really was the only one with the threat of failure looming over me. The whisper women might not want us to die because of the rarity of the bless marks, but given their limited number they also didn’t have infinite time and resources to train a seedling they thought wasn’t meeting expectations.
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Failure wasn’t an option, even before Jin basically said I might as well be dead if I didn’t fall into line. News of my blessing had already swept through the cohort based on the various appraising, dark, and interested looks I had received during the morning’s training. No doubt someone would approach me about it soon. I could use that; if they thought they could use me someone would let me into their group, no matter that I hated the thought.
My pace slowed until I stopped just before I came into view of the cooking area. I could pick two to get “close” to. The distant cold seemed to thicken at the notion, but that only furthered my resolve. I couldn’t fail, not now, not when becoming a whisper woman was all I had left. I could use the cold to protect myself and pretend until we were no longer under Jin’s command. It might be dangerous to allow even that much, but the shameful danger of failing out of the Seedling Palace before I had even been here for six months was worse.
The true question then was who should I target? Prevna was an obvious choice given how far she had already forced her way in as well as the way she didn’t…cling. I could work with her without needing to give any more and that should give the illusion of true partnership. I just had to avoid her a little less. As for the other…it made the most sense to target someone else who was often in the same company. My stomach fluttered at the thought of Wren and I dismissed her as an option. We might supposedly be allies, but that was too dangerous.
Loclen or Dera then. Loclen was currently still upset with me which made her a more difficult option, though we did often end up in the same group. Dera, on the other hand, had invited me to join her and the others once before, so she was more accepting of my presence and she had a powerful blessing. If I had to “work” with others it made sense to at least be connected to someone who could pull their own weight.
Choice settled, I took comfort in the thought that this wouldn’t be like with Fellen. They wouldn’t get to know me enough, or me them, for us to truly hurt each other. I would just work with them sometimes instead of trying to everything on my own. That had to be enough for Jin, at least to show her that I wasn’t unteachable. That I deserved to be here.
Drawing my resolve in with a long breath, I crossed the remaining distance to the cooking area, collected my meal, and sat next to Prevna. She blinked at me in surprise, her flat bread wrap held almost to her mouth, while Loclen, Dera and Wren also startled.
I took a bite of my own wrap as if this was nothing out of the ordinary. I could feel the glances of shock from other groups as well.
Lowering her wrap, Prevna raised her eyebrows at me. “Did you get hit on the head or are you here to dissuade the rumors about your blessing?”
Loclen cut in, “I heard it firsthand.” She glowered at me. “You still owe me a game.”
“Fine.” Loclen looked like I slapped her with my easy acceptance, so I added, “You won’t win.” Her scowl returned. I turned to Prevna after taking another bite, “Jin already tried stabbing me in the throat. Besides, why do you think Grandmother was so cavalier about you poisoning me?”
Wren spoke at the same time as Dera. “Wait, you really can’t die?”
“Why would you poison her?”
Prevna snorted out a wondering laugh. “You really are a horror.”
I gave her a sideways glance. “You would know.”
She smirked but didn’t say anything.
Wren glanced between us, eyes wide with exasperation. “Are you going to answer our questions?”
A look at her earnest face killed the sarcastic comment I was about to make in my throat. So, instead, I cleared it and said, “It doesn’t seem like it. Prevna can answer the other one. I’d still like to know myself.”
Prevna rolled her eyes. “As if.” Then she flicked a dismissive hand. “It’s ancient history. I had to prove that I really was blessed when I asked her tribe to grant me Sanctuary.”
I kept silent about the fact that had been the second poisoning and that her “asking” had been more of a demand, in the name of my new ploy. I didn’t need them to ask more questions than necessary, either.
Loclen asked, “What’s it like?”
“What?” I knew perfectly well what she was asking, but that didn’t mean I was going to make it easy for her. It was easier to have someone to be difficult with, rather than forcing placidity with everyone.
She clarified, “What’s it like not to die?”
I shrugged one shoulder. “You tell me. You’re not a shamble man, are you?”
Loclen drew in a long suffering breath and I noted the moment she decided she was going to utterly humiliate me the next time we faced each other. The questions died off after that, though the others still cast uneasy glances my way. They didn’t trust my sudden change of attitude, which all things considered, was smart of them though it didn’t entirely help my goal. It wasn’t going to look like I was part of a team if they kept casting distrusting looks my way every minute or so.
Prevna finished her meal and shifted to face me better. “So? Why have you joined us?”
“Jin has made it abundantly clear that doing things on my own isn’t an option.” I couldn’t hide the bitterness in my voice.
“And you listened?”
“Better than being kicked out.”
That quieted them. No one knew what really happened to failed whisper women, but common sense dictated that it couldn’t be good.
After a long minute Dera piped up, “Do you really think she would? Kick you out?”
I shrugged while I scowled at my food. “Rather not find out.”
The group made noises of agreement and they left me alone. I doubted that would be the last of the questions about my blessing or behavior, but I took what I could get. I just had to stay prepared, calculated, and not get too wrapped up in this ploy and everything would be fine.
It had to be fine.