I couldn’t decide if tents and small spaces were worse or better than being encased in ice. At least when I had been trapped in the tent I could move, and I had been learning something of interest. But, here, there wasn’t a relentless presence of judgment and disappointment. No sense of constant comparison and failure.
The frozen needles of the pine tree chimed together as a breeze brushed past. My thoughts ebbed and swirled around each other for an indeterminate amount of time as I tried to consider each situation.
Two different types of cold, I decided, in the end.
In the healer’s tent the air might have been as warm as it ever got, but there had been no warmth lost between me and her or with the rest of the tribe. A void of connection that made the small space feel smaller and a numb resolution for me to be be all I ever needed. And the warmth I saw between the others only made that lack even starker.
An emotional type of cold that froze over the hurt.
Being physically frozen was a whole other matter. It ached down to the bone and tore at all my senses without the slightest touch of numbing reprieve. I couldn’t push it down and ignore it, but there also wasn’t the constant comparison, the fear of what else could be taken away. This was as frigid as I could get. That was the long and short of it, even if I didn’t know how long I would have to endure the aching for.
A sudden pressure thumped against my back. If I could have startled away I would have. The fact that doing so probably would have sent me plummeting down off the tree was the only slim good reason in favor of being frozen to the branch.
Prevna’s voice cut through the cold induced fog from where she sat, leaned up against me. “I bet you would have punched me if I tried this before.”
How was she here again? How was she not freezing? Why was she here?
She shifted and a whole lot of things bumped and rattled against each other. How had I not heard her coming?
Prevna held a streamer made of fallen brown pine needles and small blue flowers in front of my face. The needles were sewn into place with a dyed green thread. From what I could see of her hand and arm, Prevna was bundled in much more clothing than she had been when she and the others had first found me. Thick enough that she apparently didn’t feel the artificial chill.
“Everyone expects the winds to come today. Mishtaw and Petra made this for you. I think Eliss picked the flowers. Creed tried to help, but his thick fingers kept getting in the way.”
The pine needle streamer disappeared back over my shoulder only to be replaced by a bone chime set. Two dozen different bones dangled from a round, woven top. Each bone was shaped into a creature or plant, some more crudely than others.
“Dera and Wren made the chimes and roped Loclen into making the top. Wren wanted to make sure I told you that they think they figured out what Shawsh meant when he said we have everything we need for the blessing of shadows, and that they should find the remaining pieces soon.”
The bone chime set disappeared and I internally winced as I realized how little thought I had given to Wren—or the others—since coming to the battle camp. Prevna’s weight settled against my back again. There was a brief pause, and then more rattling, before I felt her start to work on something.
“I still need to finish making my streamer. I’ll have it done before the winds come, don’t worry.” Her voice turned wry. “I think you’ll like it.” There was a long, long pause and then she added, “It really is odd not being put off by a sigh or ‘go away’ after every sentence. Then again, you can rest assured that you got the stony silence down to perfection.”
She continued to work on doing whatever it was she needed to do to finish her streamer. As she worked, she rambled. Not constantly, but it seemed like every time she needed to rest her fingers or a new thought bubbled up about something Prevna thought I should know, she would talk.
Not that I could truly complain. Her rambling gave me something else to focus on other than the same scene in front of me and the cold. Though it was a different type of pain to stay present enough to listen, rather than sink into the foggy state that had been my near constant companion since becoming frozen.
That was how I learned that Prevna had been brought along by a small patrol of whisper women and their fire starters. They, and other patrols, were checking along the coast to make sure the everything remained frozen and that the Lady Blue didn’t have anything else unexpected planned for us. So far the rumors said that the coast was quiet after each side’s destructive last attack.
This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.
Prevna also told me that Tasha tried to secure a hearth stone for me to repay her debt from leaving me to freeze over, in the hope that it could melt the ice, but, unfortunately, even a pebble sized hearth stone was out of her reach. After hearing of her failure, Mishtaw along with Kaylan, the lazy lookout, and Hattie had also thrown their lot in with her to try to secure a stone for me. Prevna said they spoke both to the commander as well as their own sect leaders, but so far they hadn’t managed to get a hearth stone. Between the unprecedented nature of having the camp fall as well as the Lady Blue’s other unexpected actions, the large number of injured whisper women, the preparations for the coming of the winds, and the unique nature of my predicament, it was to be expected.
Though Prevna’s presence was due to their effort.
It was decided that it couldn’t hurt to see if the warming winds worked on me. And if a seedling was willing to gather chimes and streamers, and brave the chill to set them up, then it wasn’t difficult to send her along with a patrol. Little risk, no loss to manpower, and the potential for reward.
The hearth stone was something else entirely. No one was sure how aware I was and, given what they knew of my blessing, there wasn’t a fear that I would die while they figured out what do. There were bigger problems to focus on and the thought of giving a hearth stone to a seedling, even a tiny one temporarily, was nearly unthinkable. Better to wait and see, especially when the seedling in question had developed a bit of a reputation for being troublesome. Plus, there was a hint of fear that using a hearth stone might be seen as going against the goddess’s wishes given that She had helped bless the High Priestess’s ice.
Honestly, it was a bit of a surprise to learn that so many whisper women were trying to get me a hearth stone despite the nature of the situation. I hadn’t spent long with Kaylan or Hattie, so I wasn’t sure what had pushed them to join the cause. Even Mishtaw’s effort was odd to hear. I might have been a part of her squad, but I had gotten the impression that she suffered my presence more than welcomed it.
A part of me also realized through Prevna’s account that there wasn’t any mention of my mysterious benefactor, the Lady of Calm Waters. I didn’t doubt that if she wanted to the mysterious lady could get me a hearth stone. Which meant she hadn’t heard yet or was withholding her aid for reasons of her own.
Prevna held her streamer in front of my face when she finished it to her satisfaction. It was a four foot long five strand braid made of different leather cords. The leather cords were of varying tones of brown from a light tan to a dark dirt brown. At various points on the leather cords she had carved Black Root with its tufts of spiky looking leaves on top and tubers underneath.
My fingers itched to touch the felt leaf in my pouch.
After she thought I had enough time to admire her handiwork, Prevna wrapped the streamer around my neck, so “you can have the best view of it when the winds blow”. She set about tying up the rest of the streamers and chimes after that. I hoped that she wouldn’t slip and break her neck as she pranced around, debating whether to put up this chime here or that streamer over there. I didn’t think the placement really mattered but it seemed like she spent a good amount of time on it. It got darker out at least, though not the deep dark of night fall.
When she finished, chimes and streamers gently clinked and flapped all around me as a light breeze brushed by. Prevna settled next to me to enjoy a small meal that she had tucked somewhere, proud of her work.
After she finished eating Prevna leaned back on her hands. “Have you ever met someone and thought ‘ah, this is someone I’ll be friends with’?” She waited several long moments before she continued, though we both knew I couldn’t reply. “I have. Three times.”
Another breeze brushed by, stronger this time.
“The first was another girl in the band. Igi. She joined with her father when she was eight. I was six, but she didn’t treat me like I was younger. I first saw Igi when she was trying to filch a bowl of pluckings from Dogar—who was always extra protective over his cooking—and I had that thought.” She lapsed into silence for another long moment before Prevna seemed to draw up strength to say the next part. “We were like sisters until she got caught on the wrong side of a raid two years ago.”
Even if I could have spoken, I would have known better than to do so in that moment. I knew she had more to say and trying to stop her wouldn’t have done any good. Not to mention, that there was a part of me that was curious about what she had to say and why she was saying it now.
“The second was a boy named Ver.” I heard the crack of a smile in her voice. “He’s still alive and kicking. We trained together. I had the thought when I learned he stayed up the entire night in the hopes of spying on ice folk. He had set out a tiny cup of warm water and everything.”
I felt her turn and focus on me. “The third one was you.” Prevna said it with a tone of finality and I noted the lack of time and place she had offered with the other two. “I know you’re not Igi or Ver, but I’ve learned to trust the feeling. The person it leads me to is always interesting. And that’s why, no matter how you huff and puff, you won’t be getting rid of me. I’ll be your friend even if you won’t be mine.”
My heart did an odd twist as it tried to sink and lift at the same time. This was dangerous territory. Everyone was safer when I kept myself to myself, but this…
She was already closer than she should be.
But what if I ruined everything again? What if I got things crossed like I had with Fellen?
I couldn’t. Shouldn’t accept the offer she had blatantly laid out in front of me. If I did, it would be dangerous for both of us given my history. I didn’t need the lack of control such things brought.
But…but wasn’t that also just falling back under her influence? She had been the best at rejection.
Rawley would have wanted me to accept the offer of friendship. Wanted me to trust despite the dangers that went implicitly with it.
I didn’t want to hurt anyone, but it seemed like whatever I picked that was part of the answer.
A distant howling rose behind us and Prevna twisted with a whoop. The warming winds were coming whether I had an answer or not.