I stepped into our instance and spawned right at the nexus point of our outpost. I didn't move a muscle as the wind blew my coat, ruffling it. I'm in, I sent to Frank.

Deploying, he replied.

My arrival here was the signal for the rest of our people to enter the portal to our instance the slow way, spawning in at the designated entrance point rather than our outpost. They would make their way to the outskirts of our base as fast as possible. Several teams were already in position, including Team Mongoose and the remains of Team Ragtag. I had Warren Black watching too.

I pulled our modified embassy stick from my inventory and very carefully crouched, careful not to move my feet from their position. We weren't sure how wide the zone of ownership around our nexus was.

Make sure everyone is flagged for combat, I added needlessly, checking my own status. I’d set myself as a hostile combatant before spawning in here. That meant even if I stepped off the nexus point I’d still be able to use my skills. However, it was critical that I plant the stick in our territory and not theirs.

I shoved the stick, pointy end first, into the dusty earth at my feet and wiggled it to make sure it got a good, firm grip on the ground as it started working. This was going to take a couple of minutes.

"Hey!" someone shouted. I straightened up carefully, dusting off my hands. Two of Waters' goons emerged from the command center. They were carrying rifles equipped with drum magazines and grinning at me. I did a quick inspect. The rifles were labeled as modified M16 carbines with oversized magazines. So, I wasn't expecting anything too fancy. I carefully set one foot on top of the embassy stick. Then, balancing carefully, I crossed my arms and grinned at the two.

"Howdy, folks.”

“You just step away from there nice and slow," one of the two men said, pointing his gun at me.

"No, I don't think I will," I said, and triggered High Noon with him as my target.

The man's eyes widened. He pulled the trigger six times in quick succession, but no bullets fired. "What the hell?"

His fellow lowered his own muzzle and found himself also unable to shoot.

"Check your status sheet," I advised my target. "You're under a compelled duel. Until I fire, nobody can fire on me or use any other ability to move me off the spot, which is still Misfits Guild property, by the way."

I stayed right where I was, whistling to myself.

“Should we get the major?” The two guards put their heads together and muttered before one went running back inside the church. The other one, who I had targeted with the duel, took a step closer. "I don't know what you're playing at, but you don’t want to be here.”

"No, I'm sure you don't want me here,” I agreed. "I'll ask my granddad to go easy on you. He might scalp you, but I think we can skip some of the ruder tortures. Probably you can keep your fingernails."

The man scowled. "That's not what I meant, and you know it. You’re going up against someone too big for you to fight.”

“Just reminding you that if we're going on military ranks, that my grandfather is also a colonel, and he is acting under orders from the direct chain of command of the United States Armed Services, whereas Major Waters is not. Are you even Army?" I asked, sizing him up. The man, and the other one with him, had been wearing camo, but an old pattern, green and brown, not the modern desert stuff. He had a paunch and a balding head, and if he had ever been enlisted, I thought those days were well behind him.

"None of your business," the man said, scowling. I targeted him with an inspect, and got back the information that his first name was Carson, and his class was [Shade-Tree Mechanic.] That wasn't much to go on.

"What are you doing working for a loser like Waters, anyway?" I asked, trying to sound sympathetic. "You've already beaten his schemes once. It's not going to go any better this time. Now you're hurting innocent people with your antics."

"I'm not working for him," Carson muttered, looking at his feet. "Alabaster Sky promised to let me out of my contract if I helped out with this."

"Ah, yes, well, I hope you got that deal in writing, and that they agreed to pay up even if you folks lose here, which you're going to," I said. I had a lot less sympathy for him than for Sam. He’d been here keeping my grandpa and the others prisoner for most of a day now, he knew the score.

I was saved from any further chit-chat by the appearance of Waters and three of his cronies in the door. I sent a quick message to Rosa. Tell Juana that Plan Shad-definitely-thought-this-through-and-is-only-going-to-get-himself-killed-if-it-actually-helps is underway, and they should be prepared to act.

Got it, Rosa replied.

I sent to Tall Smith, How many goons left in the church building?

He answered back at once. We think twelve. Sorry, can't be more precise.

Waters scowled at me. "What's this all about? Here to negotiate? I've already given you our terms."

"And I didn't like 'em, so I thought I'd suggest my own.” I started counting on my fingers, very ostentatiously. "One, all y'all get out of here at once. Two, you disband both of your guilds and send me a list of everyone who was part of 'em. Three, you hand over every soul coin in your treasuries as reparations, and four, you personally surrender yourself to Colonel Ames for military discipline as soon as that can be arranged." I gave in to my inner John Wayne and delivered that speech in a nice long drawl. I had Waters’ attention on me, right where I wanted it.

Waters shook his head. "I see you're still just as full of shit as ever, Williams. You might consider that I have your grandfather and your girlfriend at my mercy."

"You can't just keep trying the same threat over and over when it clearly hasn't worked," I said, "but that would involve you being able to learn from your past mistakes, and it's quite clear you can't. It's fine, Waters. I didn't expect you to make the smart decision." I checked the timer. I had been here for five minutes. My hacked embassy stick should take effect any moment now.

The broken stick we'd gotten off of the crafter, meant that our own team had been able to reverse engineer the embassy sticks to create one of our own. Planted on our own territory, it would project a zone of “Misfits Guild” base right through the middle of Waters’ stolen outpost. I’d lined it up carefully according to instructions to intersect the headquarters. As soon as that activated, my people would be, as far as the System was concerned, back on Misfits territory.

How's the positioning coming? I asked Frank.

We'll be ready, he said. I get first crack at Waters.

Only if you can get him before me.

I wished that I had been able to save High Noon to use on Waters himself. I would have dearly loved to get in the first shot on that asshole. I had a couple of rounds in my belt with his name on it. But unfortunately, I had needed to make sure that nobody could use any abilities on me, so I had targeted the first of Waters' cronies to show up.

A notification flashed up. [Outpost Extension Created!]

There was a shout from inside the church, and all at once a whole stream of messages popped up on my notifications from Dwight, from Juana, from Grandpa. Juana's most recent just said, You did it, Shad. I knew you would.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

I minimized them, didn't have time to read right now. Waters' people came running out of headquarters. "They're gone!"

Waters whirled. "What? Who?"

"The prisoners, sir. They're all gone."

I stayed where I was. As long as I stood right here, with my foot on the stick, none of them would be able to dislodge me. Not that it mattered, if all the hostages were freed, but the longer I distracted Waters the more time my people had to prepare.

"You're smart enough to figure this out, Waters," I said.

Waters' eyes grew wider. "Get him!” he said to the men with him. Two of them charged forward, ignoring the fact that High Noon was in effect. One came in high, as though to push me off my position, the other in a low tackle. As soon as they were within six inches of me, they both bounced.

A moment later, I heard sounds of combat drifting over the walls. Shots, explosions, shouts, and a distant roar, like somebody was unleashing a tamed dinosaur. The cavalry had arrived, and it was about time.

I pulled up my leader chat. Everything good? Can I get out of here?

Everyone's out, Grandpa confirmed. Come on and join the fun.

I lifted my foot off of the embassy stick and raised my gun. I fired one shot at the man I'd challenged to a duel, and then I engaged Fastest Gun in the West and sprinted away from the point. A flurry of shots rang out. I heard lead whistling past my head as I ran.

A warning popped up at once. [You are in another coalition's claimed outpost. You will be teleported away in two seconds.]

It took four of my racing heartbeats for the timer to change to one second. An additional four before it disappeared, and I was teleported away outside the walls to join the rest of my guild.

In that time, only a couple of Waters' men recovered enough to fire off any shots. Half of them went wide, the other half tearing through my coat and dropping my HP down by 40 points. As soon as I teleported out, I popped a health potion and healed back up to full

It was complete chaos outside our gates. There were at least 600 of Misfits’ Guild finest here. Everyone from our combat miners to our farmers and crafters had insisted on joining in this fight to help avenge what had been done to our comrades.

Spells fired off wildly, filling the air with sounds of sizzling electricity crashing against the walls. Dozens of colors exploded overhead. Shots of every caliber rang out. The air was full of whizzing lead and arrows, throwing stars, all sorts of weaponry. Someone not far from me unleashed a fireball the size of my head straight at our gate.

"Whoa, whoa!" I shouted. "Disabling, not destroying! This is our stuff! We want it back! Disable! Make sure everyone has combat toggled on or you’ll get teleported out as soon as we’re through the gates!

Most of the attackers were doing exactly what I’d told them: using their flashiest, least effective spells and suiciding right at our gate. The traitors had no choice but to kill us. We respawned fast, and their tally of fines was going up with each so-called allied death.

At the same time, many of our people were ignoring the offensive entirely as they sought each other out in the crowd, embracing.

I looked around and spotted Grandpa not far off, standing behind a pack of angry miners hurling smoke bombs and firepots at our walls. I pushed through the crowd to him.

"Are you all right?" I asked, looking him over.

Grandpa looked tired, but he nodded as he watched the fireworks. "I'm fine."

"Waters said he broke your arms."

"Wasn't as bad as all that," Grandpa said. I was pretty sure he was lying, but he held up both his hands. "Drank a health potion as soon as we got out of there. You did good, boy. You'll have to tell me all about it once we've got things back under control. What's the plan now?"

Another batch of Misfits volunteers ran up to the gate and got incinerated. This is too fun, Sage said. I had her leading one of the suicide squads. I understand why you’re so messed up in the head, Shad.

Just keep your count going. We need to know how big a fine they’re racking up. I turned back to Grandpa. "Once we're inside the walls, my dowsers and finders get to work. Waters planted a bunch of devices just inside our walls that let him take over our base sneakily. We're gonna find them, rip them out, and then go nail Waters’ hide to his own wall.”

"Sounds good." Grandpa looked around. "I think I'll grab a couple of the more mobile folk and get up there on the battlements.”

"Shad!"

I heard Juana shout my name. As soon as I turned around, she was there, throwing her arms around my neck. She kissed me. Surprised, I found myself losing my balance. I took a step back, wrapped my arms around her, and returned her kiss.

"Get a room, you two," Grandpa shouted over the commotion as the most recent batch of our people burst out of the tunnels and went on the attack. "There's still work to be done."

Juana let go. She grinned up at me. "You did it. How many times did you have to get yourself killed to make it work?"

"Only once," I said. "I had to get back to our nexus somehow, and since I hadn't re-attuned to the Kobold King's throne, it was the fastest and easiest way."

She shook her head. "I should have known it wouldn't be a Shad Williams plan without you getting yourself killed. If we ever get out of here and back to somewhere with normal rules, I'm gonna have a hell of a time breaking you from this happy suicide thing you've got going, aren't I?"

"Not a chance," I said. "I can give it up any time you ask.”

Grandpa made a disgusted sound. "Barney? Leanne? James? Get over here. We're getting up on that wall and collecting some scalps."

A moment later, he was gone, Shadow Stepping up to the wall to attack one of the defenders.

“Get out of here! Help your mom out, and re-construct our command team,” I told Juana, who nodded and pushed her way through the crowd to our escape tunnel.

By now, Waters had most of his people up on the outer ring of walls fighting us off. They deployed miniguns and alien explosives, hurling them at us, knocking back dozens of miners in craters of dirt and fire. I got caught in the explosion this time and briefly killed.

We respawned quickly. Frank and some of the crafters had arranged for a portable tunnel to be constructed between the outside of our walls and the Kobold King's throne room, and turned it on as soon as the assault began. Our people were back in the fight in under a minute.

Waters' people took much longer to respawn since he had never been able to successfully claim our nexus point. They had to come in from their own secret backup base. I grinned to myself as I thought of what would be waiting for them once we were done here.

We breached the gate, and the army streamed in, with me and Sage at its head. Once inside, we split into two streams, going left and right around the inner circle of fortifications, sweeping Waters' people back, and giving my hand-picked miners a chance to hunt for the embassy sticks. They started reporting in right away. Found one. Found another. We're up to four now. Got one.

I monitored with a special bracelet that we'd made, seeing the status of our outpost. Our own rights were vying against the claim put in by Waters' sticks, and with each stick we found and removed, our claim got stronger. When we'd removed seven, Waters' virtual outpost collapsed. The base once again belonged to Misfits.

Two seconds later, every single one of Waters' people was gone, transported back to their own base. I sent a message to the second team. Get going!

As the people around me cheered, I shouted over the crowd to Grandpa. "I gotta run!"

"What? We just finished here!"

"Yeah, I know. I'll explain later. There's another front in this war. Come on, Sage!"

I shot Grandpa a quick message with an explanation as we ran for the portable tunnel, diving in, racing through the kobold king's chamber along with the miners we had asked to come with us.

We left a sizable crew on defense. I would not be letting Waters take our outpost again without a big fight.

I popped up through the tunnels and emerged from a cave entrance, yawning at the mouth of the Hansel and Gretel forest. Waters' secret base lay just beyond the last of the trees in an open meadow, shaded by the shadow of a distant mountain peak as the sun set in the west. A couple of hundred Misfits were already surrounding his base. My reinforcements joined. We swarmed over their walls, chewing through their defenses, not caring how many deaths we incurred. Those deaths would not incur a soul coin penalty to us, but instead to the members of Waters' team. I had instructed everyone what to do, and I was glad to see they were behaving. Though we engaged Waters' people, shooting at them and harassing them, we were careful not to kill any of them. Waters' men, however, weren't doing the same. They shot, stabbed, burned, and melted us. My people took it.

I sent Waters a message. Have you checked your fines recently?

He didn't reply, but five seconds later, a message popped up. [Faction message: Gloomwing Damnation has left Team Tunnel Rat. Members of Team Tunnel Rat may now kill members of Gloomwing Damnation without incurring fines. There is a ten-hour bounty on members of Gloomwing Damnation. All kills will receive a soul coin bonus to the miners participating.]

I sent a quick, coalition-wide broadcast. We did it. They're out. Time to rack up the kills.

I fired a Trick Shot at the nearest of Waters' people, drilling him through the head and taking away the last ten of his HP. He vanished, only to respawn twenty feet away at their nexus.

My people killed him again, and again, along with the rest of his crew. By the end, they were all respawning on top of each other, getting in each other's way, tripping over themselves and being hosed down with spells and bullets before they could step away from their nexus point. It took them a good seven or eight minutes before they just stopped respawning.

I worried a bit about what Waters would do next. A prick like him isn’t so easily put down. But it would hopefully take him some time to come up with his next scheme. We had other fish to fry.

"Anyone got an estimate of how much that little jaunt is going to cost Proxima?" I shouted as at last we retreated from the destroyed enemy outpost.

"It'll be in the millions of soul coin," Sage predicted. “I got that one lady with the orange hair and weird green sword at least eight times.”

“I bet they try to wriggle out of it somehow,” Grandpa said. “Claim they’re not really the sponsors or something. I’d better put my head together with Veda and start our legal case going now. Catch you guys later.”

“Sage, with me? We’ve got more work to do.”

“On it!” she said cheerfully. “Last one there’s a rotten egg.”