The enemy had been clever. Jones flew his drone overhead and given us a quick estimate. Eight of the Akazan dwarves, four orcs — not from Congruent Paths, they were still honoring our non-compete — and three different animal people teamed up together.

They had erected a temporary fortification, four feet high with six turrets facing outward. It looked like it was built out of the same sort of basic materials used for outposts in Phase Two. They had the generic silvery appearance that we had customized into being an old west stockade.

I knew from experience that those defenses would take a lot of damage. A straight-up frontal assault would be suicide.

“We are really lucky you got that class evolution to Carpool Driver," I told Lara as we quickly grouped up. "Minivan only used to get us out of trouble, not into it."

“That’s why I took it,” she said tightly as I made sure everyone understood what was going on.

Juana was right; I did like this plan. I was a little too fond of theatrics if I was being honest. And this one catered to that failing beautifully.

I checked my cool downs. Call ‘em Out was ready again. We had one ace up our sleeves that we hadn't used yet.

I turned to Frank, "Deputy? I mean Sheriff,” I amended, grinning at him as he raised an eyebrow. "You want to do the honors?"

He pulled his hat brim lower on his forehead and posed, arms akimbo, for just a moment. "Let's ride," he said as I refreshed my Hat Tip buff on my team.

Grandpa had sent both Smiths and Brown to me. They linked hands as Hester put her hand on Brown’s shoulder, and then Smith touched Lara’s.

Lara waited until Frank raised a hand and brought it down. She disappeared along with the forward team as a pair of war elephants in armor painted red and black appeared in front of us. A couple of terrified-looking spear-wielding soldiers clung atop them.

The enemy popped their heads up past their barricade, firing laser rifles and explosive grenades at the elephants. An orc had a device that shot a rope out, trying to entangle the foremost elephant’s leg, but it did not work like in movies. The rope wrapped around one leg and the elephant just kept charging forward.

And as Frank was distracting them with Hannibal and his elephants, Lara snuck our team in the back.

"Go!" I told the rest of us, and we charged in behind the elephants. The enemy team was shooting wildly as the elephants smashed against their barricades.

I needed to ask Frank sometimes what the parameters were for his reinforcements. Sometimes he'd gotten no more than a pair of London Bobbies while other times he pulled out overpowered options like fighter jets or war elephants. I thought again and decided to make sure to ask somewhere we weren't likely to be overheard. If the reality engine was shifting things in our favor, like sometimes I thought it was, it wouldn't be good to draw attention.

You've got about three minutes before the Drippy Sisters get there, Grandpa warned me.

We'll punch through, I promised. I deployed a particularly ridiculous item Dwight had made for me and I had sworn I would never use, a bright silver whistle, put it to my lips, and blew.

A moment later I was several feet higher in the air clinging to the back of a saddle-less horse. I had my fingers tight in its mane. My gun went flying. It didn't matter. I'd be able to use Quick Draw once I was where I wanted to be.

Dwight had called this the “Hi-Yo, Silver!” It was apparently accompanied by a spell that would draw enemy attention to it. It wasn't a taunt like my "Call 'em Out." More like a “what the hell is that, I can’t look away?” spell.

I clung on for dear life as the horse charged right past the elephants and up to the stockade. It planted its front feet and sent me flying over its head.

I landed like a gymnast dismounting from a balance beam, knees bent, arms extended. All those points in Agility counted for something, at least. And as half a dozen alien heads turned to look my way, I Quick Drew my gun, shot the nearest dwarf in the face, and then cast Call 'em Out again.

Enjoying the story? Show your support by reading it on the official site.

"Annie, go!" I messaged frantically. A second later, I lurched six feet to the side and felt a wave of coolness wash over my body.

The aliens' heads didn't turn. Instead, they started shooting the exact replica of me who stood where I had been with a dumb grin on his face. It was like one of the Shad dummies I had used against old Squid Face come to a more detailed life.

The fake image of me waved his free hand and pointed his gun around wildly. Annie's recently acquired skill, [Ventriloquist's Dummy], created an exact replica of someone on the spot while relocating them to a location of her choosing.

Now I called in my final card. Okay, Jack, go for it.

I stood waiting, and while I did, I checked on Team Mongoose. The three members had reached the beach behind our enemy's defensive lines. Between me, Frank's elephants, and our oncoming charge, the aliens hadn't noticed yet. They were all still facing outward, aside from the couple that were trying to fill the fake version of me full of the alien equivalent of hot lead.

By now, Mongoose had constructed their machine gun nest. Smith gave a thumbs up at the smiling replica of me.

"Do it," I said, and they opened fire.

Their bullets didn't hurt me. Brown had a skill, [Friendly fire], which was a confusing name, because it meant actual friendly fire was impossible. I guess it made your fire more friendly. Whatever. It meant their bullets couldn’t hit me, and that was all that mattered.

As they ripped into the aliens, some of the orcs turned and began shooting beam weapons toward Team Mongoose.

Too late.

I heard the ear-splitting roar of artillery fire dropping down on my head. Good old Jack the Tank Driver had rejoined our offensive team for this one. We hadn't dared use his [Artillery Barrage] ability during the Podaga fight, since if somehow Podaga survived and all of us were dead, that would have been a bad thing. But now, with me as his target, he was raining incendiary shells down on our enemy.

As the first shell fell, I threw down a really, really expensive single-use item. This wasn't something Dwight had made. We had bought it from the Galactics a while ago. It was a one-man, 20-second invulnerability field, and it had cost almost 50,000 soul coins. Right now, it let me stand in the middle of the camp for a couple of extra seconds while Jack rained down death.

By the time the shield was up, most of our enemies were dead.

Cease fire! Cease fire!, I told Jack, and sprinted away from the destroyed enemy position as the last couple shells fell.

Mongoose picked off the couple of alien stragglers who had made it out of the hellfire. I popped my head out from behind a tree and watched as the three Rusalka meandered down their stream the rest of the way to the lake.

As their feet hit the water, a [Quest Complete] box popped up. I cheered, and so did everyone else. Team Mongoose began disassembling their machine gun nest.

Grandpa called out to me as he approached the water. “Come say goodbye to the ladies.”

The [System Quest Complete] box appeared.

[Mission successful. Team Twofeather has led the Misfits Guild to victory yet again. All the rest of you have failed. Maybe you should start watching what Misfits do instead of trying the same thing over and over again. That's worked really well for you so far, hasn't it?]

I thought the taunting was a bit much.

I approached the lake as the Rusalka embraced their sister, the one who had given us the quest. She disentangled herself from their watery limbs and turned to Grandpa and me. "How can I ever thank you for restoring my sisters to me and ending the reign of that cruel sorcerer?"

"Just doing our job, ma'am," I said.

"I have a great gift to give you," she said. She reached her hands out. There were seashells on the palm of each hand. She held one to me. I accepted it. "To open your eyes," she said.

As I touched it, the seashell melted away. A system message popped up: [All inspect functions are now restored for your team members.]

"Well, thanks," I said to the ceiling. "By reward, you mean give us back something that you stole from us in the first place? Really?" I shook my head as Grandpa accepted the other seashell. It, too, dissolved.

The message that popped up this time said, [Creep is immune to Seething Miasma]

Grandpa and I exchanged a look. "What's that?"

"No idea." He sent a message back to the command team. Anyone know what seething miasma is?

We're taking a look, Juana said. But nobody recognizes it right off. Gabriel says it’s not a Slavic myth thing. If you're done there head back. We've got some interesting information to report. And there's probably still angry enemies out there. We don't need to pay a resurrection bill if we don't have to.

"All right," Grandpa yelled. "Nice work, everyone. Back to camp. Stay close. I'll put in a take-out order from Mama Grace and we can all kick back and talk about what we did right and what we can do better next time."

"Next time?" I said to him in an undertone as Sage whooped and skipped ahead of the rest of us. "Which part of this is going to have a next time?"

"Certainly the boss fight," he pointed out. "You did good this time, Shad. You didn't even die."

I sighed. "Would have been cheaper if I had. Respawns don't cost a tenth of what that shell did."

"True, but we needed to make sure to get down as many of the enemy as possible," Grandpa said. He clapped me on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get back. There's a lot to talk about."