Go figure, one cannot be arrested and brought before the king on the same day. It’s dramatic and moves the story along, but it’s just not reasonable. It also didn’t fit our plan. With Alma Greyn simmering in the dungeon, we were able to lay down some more tracks on the railroading we’d planned for UNLV. Rumors flew, but the commonality was that Alma Greyn and her doppelganger were being held in the dungeon while an investigation was being made. Most people thought that it was a little unfair to the real Alma Greyn, but the story of her deformity was bolstered by the rumor that she was being examined by experts for a cure. This also served us as it totally pissed off both the church and college. Since neither had been called, they each assumed that the other had been.
“Class is cancelled for the week?” one of the students read the notice on our classroom door.
“The notice says that we are still supposed to show up just in case the trial concludes early,” another remarked.
“So, we just show up to class to see if it’s on or not?” I put in, passing out cookies. What? The doppelganger was locked in a tower room under the care of experts. I didn’t have to stay there. Besides, how would that look that I disappeared at the same time as the doppelganger? Be reasonable. The cookies were oatmeal today.
“What about the quiz?” someone mumbled around a bite of sweet, chewy oatmeal.
“The one about the psychological significance of the colors people choose for their Among Us avatars?” I asked.
“I spent three hours reading the chapter on how imposters are more likely found out if they wear hats or choose lime as their color,” a student complained.
“Lime does seem to stand out more,” I nodded as if the conversation wasn’t as inane as the chapters I hadn’t bothered to read. “I prefer maroon.”
Charm +1
“Do you think boxes hide the colors too much?”
“What about the goggles?”
This is college, folks. The students sat around debating whether the text specifically favored certain colors or outfits for recognition purposes. Could you blame them? We had a five-thousand-word paper on the subject due in two weeks. I couldn’t make this shit up. Sucking the fun out of everything you could possibly enjoy. Considering that these students didn’t even have the ability to play the game, they had to rely on the sparse pictures in the textbook to make judgement calls that would determine whether they agreed with the professor or not. If they agreed, they got good grades. If they didn’t, their grade was knocked down a grade. Well, unless that student sucked up particularly well.
I tucked the cleaned plate into my inventory and left, shaking my head. Why do people rationalize this idiocy? I’ve actually heard a seemingly rational person justify the class content with the following logic. It doesn’t matter what subject you write about since you’re supposed to be learning how to write. Therefore, you might as well choose class content based on something students can enjoy writing about. If you bought that as an excuse for studying game theory in an English class, consider yourself brainwashed, because it uses fallacies that are specifically taught in the general education requirement of Philosophy. I, personally, don’t understand how a student can take both classes and not see through the fallacies, but then I think of how I left those students debating the colors of imposters as if it was the difference between the Dean’s list and flunking out. They’re right, but it’s a sad commentary on what is supposed to be higher education.
Intelligence +1
So think about it. If we could use any subject to teach writing of papers, why aren’t we using current events and applying critical thinking to those events to elevate a student’s awareness as well as just teaching how to write a paper? If psychology classes aren’t enough to prepare a student for becoming a counselor, have we, maybe, wasted the chance to teach something of significance that could have helped more to prepare? A practical application of symbolic logic to what is spit out by spin doctors for the political arena would be a blast. Practicing the art of presenting two diverse viewpoints in order to then parse the truth from spin would be an invaluable skill for any student, whether they’re engineers or trophy wives. Did you know that you can complete all pre-med coursework and still have a bachelor’s degree in philosophy?
Teaching +1
Exp +10 (5,720/788,209)
I’ll bet you didn’t know that you could get a medical degree in psychiatry and only take less than four psychology classes. I did the plot for it and was shocked enough to put it on Facebook. Dom’s mother, a lawyer who is entrenched in the status quo and in love with college as a way to get ahead in life, assured me that it wasn’t true. Entrance to medical school doesn’t specify any certain degree, and general education requirements only require a single psychology class. The medical degree itself only has one class in psychology. Residency only requires a single rotation in psychology. I’m not kidding. It’s broke, man. Just broke.
Teaching +1
Exp +10 (5,730/788,209)
I slipped up to my room and out my window, Terra catching up to me on the roof. She’d been sunning herself. I’d put in my appearance at school, so I could now get caught up on business. The bakery was my first stop because, well, cinnamon rolls. That and Dom was meeting me there for breakfast. Dom spent his mornings at the bakery and his evenings in the pub, both of which were doing very well as news spread of new recipes.
“I need another five scrolls of Disguise, if you don’t mind,” Dom licked the frosting from his thumb as he caught me up.
“No worries,” I leaned over his table to give him a kiss hello and used the action to steal his next cinnamon roll.
Dexterity +1
“Hey!” he protested with a grin. “Get your own! They’re charging me for them.”
“If they didn’t, I’d be out of business in a week,” I held the cinnamon roll out of his reach playfully.
Flirting +1
Exp +10 (5,740/788,209)
“Fine,” he leaned back, and I was charmed by the sparkle of play in his eyes.
“Burnt has fired another whole houseful of staff,” Dom informed me. I took my stack of paper and began my work around bites of cinnamon roll. I might have gotten some cinnamon icing on the new Disguise scrolls, but I doubted anyone would mind. “I’m running out of new people to throw at the job, so we’re using Disguise to put old people in.”
“You think he’d notice a repeat?” I snarked, charging another scroll. “They are only servants, so he probably doesn’t even look at them when he hires them.”
“You have a point,” Dom took each scroll as I charged it, rolling them carefully. “But it’s an excuse to get those Disguise spells up in levels.”
“The king sends information,” Terra gave Dom’s leg a bat to get him to summon her so that we could share the information silently. Terra was one of the rare familiars who could speak in clear sentences. She’d been going back and forth to the castle to get updates. That is not to say that she walked. The king now had a spell book with several spells including Summon Witch’s Familiar. He hadn’t been able to get the shared headspace that Dom and I shared with Terra, but he could talk out loud to her and have her return to me, which is to say that she called me to summon her.
“The church has sent an official offer to assist in Alma’s deformity,” Terra told us in our shared link. “The college has sent a similar offer, but the king is offended by them both.”
“So the rumors worked,” Dom nodded, tying a ribbon on another scroll. It said something that we were making the scrolls in the public dining area of the bakery. Customers filed by, some of them gossiping staff from the college, but they were so interested in each other that they didn’t often notice the crime being committed only a few feet from where they stood in line. I’d worried about it at first, but Dom and I had become a little blasé about it, given our status with the king. This is a lot like saying, it could be worse. Just thinking these things of course triggered some notice of our deeds.
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
“Did you see that?” One of those people whispered behind their hand. “They’re making scrolls.”
“Isn’t that against the rules?” their line-mate asked, and I could have smacked myself for getting too comfortable.
“Wedding invitations,” Dom waved one of the scrolls at the woman who had noticed us.
Two sets of brows creased over their noses as they considered the explanation. It had worked before. Dom gave a charming smile that could only be the result of his climbing charm stat because he hadn’t ever been that charming before.
“We have to wait for school break, but we want to get our invitations out early so all our friends can come,” I smiled at the gossipy women, striving for the same charm as Dom but coming off a little more bitter and sarcastic than I’d intended. Honestly, I just hadn’t thought they’d notice snark.
Charm +1
“Oh, well, congratulations,” the first woman said, and I thought I recognized her as one of the philosophy professors.
“Yes,” the other woman agreed, turning from our beaming smiles.
Dom resummoned Terra so we could continue our conversation.
“Nosy biddies,” Terra groused, and the sparkle of mirth in my eyes only made the two women turn away with rolling eyes. How silly is it that two people in love can cause such a reaction.
“The king?” I prodded Terra, who was eying the skirts of those women like she wanted to shred their hems.
“Can you believe they let a cat in here?” the first one said just a little too loudly.
“Burnt says he’s being tormented by a cat, poor thing,” the second one said, but the snicker under her breath said something else.
Perception +1
“You shouldn’t joke,” the first woman admonished, but she was also taking pleasure in the man’s pain. “He’s allergic.”
“Oh, I know!” the second one failed to hold back a chuckle. “He tells us all every day!”
That’s where I recognized her from. The first woman was a professor in the liberal arts department but the second one was Burnt’s secretary.
“He had to say something,” the first teased back. “He comes in looking like Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer!”
“More like Adolf,” I said just a little too loud. “Hitler.”
They pretended not to hear me, but their judgy mouths thinned as if I was going to be reprimanded by their petty snippery.
“The king told UNLV that he’d contracted someone very high up, and that it has to be kept very private,” Terra informed us, as I got up to slip behind the service counter.
Mischief +1
Exp +10 (5,750/788,209)
“That had to burn their butts,” Dom said, watching me as I whispered to the gal behind the counter.
“Worse,” Terra snickered and if you’ve never heard a cat snicker, you are missing out. “They are now convinced that someone high up in the college is secretly a favorite of the king.”
“How do you know that?” Dom asked Terra as I slid back into my place at our table with a cat-that-swallowed-the-canary look on my face.
“The ferrets,” Terra answered. Cumbers had worked hard to get pretty clear information from his familiars. He was also the only one to have gotten two of them so far other than Dom. Most drones didn’t work as hard to increase their skills quickly without quests like the servants at Burnt’s house to motivate them. “But it’s better than that. Cumbers and the ferrets have slipped it out that different high-level administrators are the favorites.”
“We should up the ante on that one,” Dom told us, but half my attention was on the college women who were almost to the counter by now. “Darling, do you think you could slip in and out of the college as a few of the upper-ups tonight and tomorrow night?”
“Sure,” I answered automatically, but I was aware of what he was getting at. If I disguised myself as some of the higher administrators as I came and went from the college in the night, it would get around that they were slipping out for something worthy of rumors. “I might as well do some good with my comings and goings.”
“I can do the same near the churches,” Dom suggested, watching the front counter even as we plotted in our mental link.
“Be careful with that,” I told Dom, turning to him with concern at the thought of him being too near the churches. We really weren’t ready to take on a god.
“I will,” he took my hand and squeezed it gently.
“What do you mean they are three gold each?” the first gossipy professor demanded. “The sign says they are a silver!”
“I’m sorry, ma’am,” the server gave a nonchalant shrug. “The owner has specified that if you want her cinnamon rolls, you two will have to pay a premium.”
“That’s absurd,” and it would have been except that they weren’t in our old world, and I wasn’t required by law to serve everyone equally any more than the college was required to pay for kidnapping me. “I want to see your boss.”
“She’s at the table over there,” the server pointed helpfully at me and Dom who were smiling and waving at the woman.
“Ha, ha!” the secretary woman called out to us. “Funny. She’s just a student and a problem one at that. She isn’t the owner of this bakery.”
“I don’t find it funny,” the professor gave a snobby look at the server who was confused by their statement. “I demand that you give me my pastry, or I shall report this to the authorities.”
“We’re important mages from the Universal Neophyte Leveling Venue,” the secretary insisted, her voice raised over the hum of other people who had stopped to stare at the complaining women. “We’ll have your license revoked.”
“Actually,” I stood to face the woman. “I own several establishments and my license is through the Merchant’s Guild. So, you are free to take your complaint to them.”
Subtlety +1
Exp +10 (5,760/788,209)
The Underground and the Merchant’s Guild were buddies. When Dom had taken over the Underground, he’d also taken over the contract for protection that the Merchant Guild paid the Underground to upkeep. Only merchants who were not part of the Merchant’s Guild and/or didn’t pay their dues were robbed by the Underground. For the dues-paying members of the guild, the Underground would protect them from rogue thieves who bucked the system. It was a model based on mob protection rackets, but with us being prominent members of the Underground, we were well protected by both the Underground and the Merchant’s Guild.
“I’ll take it up with Juby at the next Merchant’s Guild meeting,” Dom purred out, leaning back in his chair with a predatory look on his face.
This completely confused the two women who were still thinking that they lived in a world where complaints from important people like them could tank a business. This world didn’t have Yelp. The complaint department didn’t care about their magic or position at the college. In fact, the Merchant’s Guild didn’t take kindly to high-handed college staff trying to bully their businesses.
“I’ll take it up with whatever boss you have!” Burnt’s secretary fumed. “And I’ll take this matter up with Dr. Burnt as soon as we return to the college. Mages, even problem student mages, are held to a higher standard than the average merchant.”
“I look forward to my next code of conduct violation,” I smiled, but it was true. Just as they had no power over what I did as a merchant, I had no power to stop their code of conduct violations.
Subtlety +1
Exp +10 (5,770/788,209)
“I would suggest all you other customers take a stand as well,” the professor announced to the crowd of gawkers. “Report this incident to the Merchant’s Guild today and you will have done a favor to the Universal Neophyte Leveling Venue.”
“Ooooh,” I taunted, uncaring of whatever sanctions they’d impose next. “I’ll offer a free cupcake to anyone who will report these women of the college as having caused a ridiculous scene in my bakery.”
Several patrons raised their hands. More importantly, two of Dom’s men appeared at the door of the bakery. They looked exactly like the thugs that they were supposed to be. Scrolls were produced, and patrons traded their written testimonies for luscious happy-face frosted cupcakes. The two thugs loomed over the women who, while they tried to push themselves out our door, ended up signing apologies and glowing reviews before being allowed to pass by our thugs.
“Is there a problem here?” a passing guard eyed the disappearing gossips as the crowd of people dispersed with their cupcakes.
“Can you believe they wanted free cinnamon rolls just because they were mages at the college?” I asserted to my buddy guard. He’d played poker with Dom just the night before. Those free meals for guards were working out just fine.
Charm +1
“Hubris,” the guard nodded a friendly greeting to our thugs as they left with their own free products. “It’s like you said. They think they own the world because they have the corner on magic.”
“They accused us of making scrolls in the dining room,” Dom handed the guard a cup of hot chocolate, our newest treat in the bakery. “Then they said they’d say the scrolls were wedding invitations if we gave them free food.”
“Extortion,” the guard took the cup with one hand, but waved over a fellow guard with another. “Like we wouldn’t know you two have been married for weeks. They just think we’ll overlook facts because they’re mages. I know you merchants tend to take care of your own problems, but the king has been trying to tighten down on this kind of corruption lately.”
“Yeah?” another guard took another cup of cocoa from Dom and let his eyes find where his boss was pointing.
“Take a couple of guards and arrest those two for extortion,” my buddy guard told him.
“Take my cocoa?” the second guard handed his cocoa to my buddy.
“I’ll keep it safe for you,” my buddy guard grinned, making the second guard pause with a pout.
“I’ll have the girls make sure you get a nice hot cup when you get back,” I reassured the second guard with a smile.
Charm +2
With that, Burnt’s secretary was arrested at the gates of the college before she was able to get to Burnt for that new code of conduct violation. Yes, I lied. Yes, I used my power unscrupulously. On the flip side, since spinning the message is more important than a practical use of symbolic logic, that’s okay, right? Rumors of the incident flew around the city like wildfire. Why? Because the spin was that the pompous Universal Neophyte Leveling Venue was finally getting their comeuppance from regular people fighting against their supposed omnipotence. If I was a real jerk, instead of a person trying to right the wrongs of those who’d written themselves as the heroes of their stories, this might be an antihero moment.