I lived in a sixteen-year-old body, but my mind still cringed at the thought of sleeping on bare rock. I wasn’t tired, even though it was late, and I’d done enough today to earn a rest, but my mana and health were full and if I wasn’t singing for my supper, I might as well dungeon dive for it. I felt the fool for coming with just a backpack and dagger to my name. I’d eaten one of my own meat pies on the way and had a clean plate in my inventory. I had stopped at a stream and drunk my fill of clean water, but if I couldn’t provide for myself in the dungeon, I’d be headed back to town before morning.
I squinted into the darkness of the first dungeon, having no idea what lay inside. After all the mental gymnastics and days of conversation reruns, it was a welcome change. The entrance narrowed and sloped down into the hills. I was a girl who grew up next to the Rocky Mountains. Anything less than those magnificent peaks was hills. These were large hills, but they were not mountains to me.
“Are you sure?” Terra asked, giving the air of the dungeon a sniff.
“Nope,” I admitted, trying to smell whatever she might be sensing.
“We could die in there and no one would ever know,” Terra sat and gave me a solemn look.
“That would test a theory,” I replied mentally, not daring to state it aloud. I didn’t think it was enough to be suspicious, but I didn’t need to take any more chances. The dungeons were enough of a risk for me that night.
I tugged a torch off the wall and put it in my left hand. I held my dagger in my right hand. I must have looked idiotic in my peasant-girl clothes, but they were all I had this time. I’d only managed to tie the apron in such a way that hopefully the skirt wouldn’t trip me up. I held the torch behind me so that I wouldn’t be blinded by it. I wanted to have the courage to leave it behind and get some dark vision, but I wasn’t that brave my first time in.
I bumped my nose on an almost invisible barrier. Okay, I didn’t bump my nose. My dagger bumped into the barrier first, but I thought the nose thing sounded funnier. I reached out a hand and touched the barrier.
Castle Eroomtsim: Undead Dungeon
Level 10-20
Recommended Group size 5-10
You do not qualify for this dungeon. Please return when your class level is higher.
That was a little anticlimactic. While my profession levels counted toward my health and mana calculations, they did not help to qualify me for this dungeon. That was okay, actually, because the hills were littered with these dungeons. I simply backed up and had to look left and right to find another set of torches. I kept my torch, but I stubbed out the flame in the dirt near the entrance. On a hunch, I took the second flame and stubbed it out too. I stuck both torches in my backpack and flipped a coin to decide a direction.
My hiking helped my constitution go up by two points, so I didn’t feel like the hour walking to the next dungeon was wasted. Again, I took a lit torch, stubbed it out on the ground and then put it in my pack. I’d learned from Infocom games to never leave a potential tool behind. If the program let you take it, it would be useful. I plucked out the last lit torch and approached the dungeon.
If I looked very closely, I could almost see the shimmer of a zone barrier. I laid my hand on this one.
Darkburrow: Gnoblins Dungeon
Levels 5-15
Recommended group size 3-4
You qualify for this dungeon but do not have a group. Do you wish to override group recommendation? (Y/N)
I thought about trying to find a solo dungeon but there was no guarantee that one even existed. I was in this to help level up my skills and hopefully get some real fighting experience, something on which I’d always been lax. I turned up my notifications. I had a much higher health and mana pool than the average adventurer of my level. I had taken on a level nine bard with half my current stats and won. The more I thought about it, the more I wanted to try it out. Would it be better with a tank and a healer? Probably, but…
I triggered the entry.
Zoning, please wait…
I was glad that I was holding both my dagger and the torch. I was attacked at the doorway by a gnoll with green skin covered lightly by brown and black fur. It was like someone had taken a German shepherd, taught it to stand up and then fed it enough spinach for its skin to turn a football-field-colored green. Its doggy face snapped at me almost before I’d completely materialized. I’m not a person who responds well to someone getting in my face, especially if its got a doggy snout and big teeth.
I shoved the torch into the doggy-face and had the satisfaction of seeing it recoil from me. I followed up with the dagger in my right hand and managed to scrape it against furry ribs, opening a long gash in the gnoblin’s side. The gnoblin retaliated with a dagger thrust of its own. I couldn’t see if it had doggy paws, but it held a rusty dagger, so I was pretty sure it had to have fingers and a thumb of some sort.
Health -8 (706/714)
Dual Wielding +1
Exp +10 (220/1800)
Its dagger didn’t do much damage. It was like my skin was thicker than his. Even though I wasn’t wearing armor, my higher constitution and health made it harder to cut into me. His dagger was also a bit dull, so that couldn’t help him. My dagger was sharp, but it didn’t do much more damage the way I was using it. I tried to use my Identify skill.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 90/100)
Identify +1
Exp +10 (230/1800)
My dagger hadn’t done much damage either, but I had a ton more health that it did. I swiped the torch at it again and followed up with my dagger aiming for a punch into the gnoblin’s gut. The torch worked really well as a feint because while it dodged the torch, my dagger dug deep into what I knew were intestines. The gnoblin bit at my face and slashed at me with the dagger. It obviously had a double-attack ability too. While I arced back from the teeth coming at my face, I took the dagger slice on the forearm that was holding my dagger. I expected it to hurt, but it barely broke skin. It was like someone had slapped me playfully.
Health -10 (696/714)
Dodge +1
Skill Learned: Piercing
Exp +40 (270/1800)
Each time I hit the gnoblin, I used Identify to watch the damage I was doing.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 75/100)
This stabbing had done more damage than slicing. Rather than pull my dagger out, I dragged it up the gnoblin’s stomach with all my strength. I didn’t expect it to do much more than my other attacks, but the gnoblin lurched with an agonized howl, dropping its dagger and reaching for me with two clawed hands. It grabbed my arms as if to hold itself up more than to attack.
Health -2 (694/714)
You have been grappled.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 49/100)
The gnoblin used its claws on my arms while plunging his open jaw down at me again. I dodged my head to the side, but he bit into my shoulder with every ounce of strength he had. I used my backward lunge to wrench my dagger further up into the gnoblin’s chest cavity. I’d just ripped past his stomach and felt my knife hitch on his sternum. I let my left hand drop the torch to the floor and tried to snap my fingers for an extra boost of Sparkler damage into the gnoblin’s side.
Health -14 (680/714)
You are grappled.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 22/100)
While the gnoblin was obviously determined to hurt me, my stats protected me. As the gnoblin lurched to the side to avoid my fire spell, I held the dagger firm. In essence, it punctured its own lung, my dagger lodging under the ribcage, nearly pulling me over as the gnoblin flung its head and the rest of its body backward in a sprawling death flop.
You have broken grapple.
Health -3 (677/714)
You have killed a Gnoblin Pup – Exp +100 (370/1800)
“Ugh, dogs,” Terra complained, licking her paw. Was that blood on her paw?
“Did you scratch it?” I asked her, casting clean on my dagger and then her paw.
“Yep,” she fluffed her tail. “I did a whopping ten points of damage overall, but it was something.”
This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.
“Well done, my love,” I praised her, rewarded by her pretense of being above the praise. “Terra the Terrible indeed!”
We didn’t get a chance to say more as another two gnoblins came around the corner, probably in response to the first’s howls. We hadn’t even had time to loot the gnoblin still at our feet. I cast Sparkler at the one of the left and readied my dagger for the one on the right. I might have been able to do more damage with spells than the dagger, but I needed the fighting skills.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 101/110)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 100/100)
Sparkler +1
Dual Wielding +1
Exp +20 (390/1800)
I slid to the right to attack the gnoblin with the least health and noticed that I’d put the right gnoblin between myself and the other one. I plunged my dagger into the gut of the one on right, getting right up next to him, while angling my left hand around it so that I could cast another Sparkler at the one that had started with more health. I was surprised that it worked. I was in such close quarters with the dagger-impaled one that he almost served as armor against his pal.
The gnoblin close to me wrapped arms around me in a hug and bit down on the same shoulder the first one had bitten. Still, it didn’t break skin any more than the first one had. It hurt a bit, but nothing like I’d dreaded. The one behind could only yelp in pain at the Sparkler, anything else blocked by his buddy.
Health -12 (665/714)
You are grappled.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 93/110)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 79/100)
I hugged the gnoblin back, wondering if I could get the grappling skill. The act served to force my dagger deeper into my dance partner and I used my new muscles to slide the dagger up and into major organs. I knew how to dance. Cotillion had been a while ago, but I always appreciated a strong dance partner, so I used my palm, strength, and body to wrench my partner to the side that his buddy was trying to slide around.
Health -10 (655/714)
You are grappled.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 93/110)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 60/100)
“Sorry, buddy, no cutting in,” I told the blocked gnoblin. The dancing left me unable to cast on that gnoblin, but I was okay with that because I could feel the dagger doing my work for me as I used this guy as a shield. All my dance partner could do was continue to try to bite my shoulder. Heck, that just felt like love bites anyway. He also stepped on my toes a bit but two could play that game. I’d had more aggressive lovers in my past. “I’ll save you the next dance.”
Health -11 (644/714)
You have reversed the grapple.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 93/110)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 40/100)
Skill Learned: Grapple
Skill Learned: Dancing?
Exp +40 (430/1800)
Getting into the feel of it, I spun my partner through brute strength, of which I obviously had so much more than he did. The act flung it back over my arm in a dip that allowed me to twist my dagger and still kick out at the confused gnoblin that had been impatiently trying to get a hit in. I could hear the tune to I’ve Had the Time of My Life playing in my mind. My kick knocked the second gnoblin into the wall, where he slid down onto his butt, the air seemingly knocked out of his lungs. Well, I had the advantage of knowing exactly where the solar plexus was as I’d just punctured through it with his buddy.
Health -3 (641/714)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 89/110)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 13/100)
Strength +1
Dexterity +1
Skill Learned: Kick
Skill Learned: Multiple Foe Combat
Exp +40 (470/1800)
Now this was fun. And here I’d thought that fighting would be a grind. I liked dancing. I liked it even better that I had the dexterity, grace, and energy to dance in this world. It didn’t have to be tedious. The skills were nice. I was so happy that I grabbed my partner’s hand and spun him into the cave wall on the other side of his partner. Have you ever seen a dog that looked so confused that it jerked back in shock?
“Nobody sits baby in a corner,” I held out a hand to the remaining gnoblin.
“You think you’re so cute,” Terra snickered, her final scratch finishing off my previous partner.
“I am very cute,” I insisted, the gnoblin in front of me flinching back from my hand. I couldn’t blame him. It held a knife covered in the blood of his buddies.
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 87/110)
You have killed a Gnoblin Pup – Exp +100 (570/1800)
The remaining gnoblin took a swipe at my outstretched hand and struggled to its feet. When it actually managed to knock the bloody dagger out of my hand, I hit it with spells instead. It took two blasts of Sparkler as it got to its feet and another two as it tried to take another swing at me. It had lost its dagger at some point, so it only scratched me a little. We’ve mentioned more than enough about my sex life so I’m not going to explain why I just chuckled. You figure it out.
Health -4 (637/714)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 70/110)
The gnoblin lunged at me, trying to grapple again, but without my dagger it didn’t make sense to let him. My dexterity was obviously higher. While I was of equal level, it was clear that my higher stats, skills, and health pool was going to more than make up for it. They weren’t one-hit mobs, but they just couldn’t do enough damage to me to take me down. Three of them had been wailing on me in my unarmored self and hadn’t done enough damage to make me hurt, much less kill me. I practiced dodging and kept casting my Sparkler.
Health -5 (632/714)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 52/110)
Sparkler +1
Identify +1
Exp +20 (590/1800)
The unarmed gnoblin couldn’t do much harm to me, so I played with it a bit. I couldn’t see what any of my newer spells could do to help me or I’d have practiced them on the frustrated thing. I sparred with it, doing a dodge boxing thing that looked better on television than what I could do in person.
Health -4 (628/714)
Gnoblin Pup – Level 5 (Health 25/110)
Dexterity +1
Skill Learned: Unarmed Combat
Dodge +1
Exp +30 (620/1800)
Then it turned to run, and I stopped messing around. I hadn’t had trouble with three of them, but I didn’t need it to bring a train to the zone edge. I wasn’t even sure that it would let me back out without clearing the zone. It could be that sadistic and I didn’t really want to try it in the middle of a fight I could easily win. I lurched to grab at it, snapping both fingers as I did it. The Sparkler singed its fur and was a little warm when I managed to jump onto its back. My weight and momentum managed to knock it to the floor where it smacked its forehead against the stone.
Sparkler +1
Exp +10 (630/1800)
You have killed a Gnoblin Pup – Exp +110 (740/1800)
I looted the bodies, getting three rusty daggers, a ration, two gnoblin teeth, a leather bracer, and the equivalent of three silver and two copper. I was happy with the experience, stat and skill boosts, and the loot. I could use almost all of it. The leather bracer fit my arm as the gnoblins were about my size. I put on the leather bracer and healed myself up, sitting with Terra for a few minutes to get my mana and health to max. I had to lace the bracer up with one hand and my teeth, but it would keep me from getting scratched again. If these gnoblins continued to drop leather armor, it was a great place to equip myself.
We were in a cave with rough walls. The entrance was at a little bend in the cave. I figured the one pup was at the zone in and the other two had stood guard around the corner. It was typical game logic to put the weakest mobs at the entrance. No one would really do that, but most games did, filling the entrance with trash mobs. The further I went in, the harder the mobs would get.
I peeked around the bend in the cave path. The two had likely come running from where the cave opened up. My torches ended up being relatively useless, considering that torches were stuck in the walls every few feet. The torchlight made the shadows dance, but I ignored that and sneaked up along the path, hugging the walls. I really wanted a move silently, sneak, or hide in shadows skill at some point. I was as quiet as my dexterity allowed but I didn’t get any skills for it.
The cave path curved ahead for about ten feet before I ran into another set of guards. I heard them before I saw them. They grunted at each other in what was probably supposed to be a gnoblin language. All I knew was that I didn’t understand it in the slightest. I backed down the path and stopped.
“So, Terra,” I whispered to her in my mind so that I wouldn’t alert the guard prematurely. “I think it’s about time I taught you how to pull.”
“Pull what?” Terra asked, sitting next to me and cocking her head to the side.
“Pulling is a gamer term for getting a single monster to chase you back to where your group can kill it,” I explained silently, trying to think about how we’d pulled stuff back in my EQ days. “Monsters are stupid most of the time and if they see something they can handle easily…”
“Like a helpless little kitty cat?” Terra gave me an innocent look.
“Yes,” I smiled at her. “You go out there and piss one of them off, hoping only a few will follow.”
“But we could take both these guards up ahead easily,” she protested, her whiskers atwitch.
“This is just practice,” I explained, giving her ear a scritch. “I know you get skills. If you can get a skill for pulling, it could prove very helpful in the future.”
“That sounds very good,” she rubbed against my hand with a purr. “These are very stupid dogs anyway. If I could get Damon, Cliff’s cat, to chase me, I can get some stupid green dogs to do it. Damon was very stubborn and lazy.”
“Cool,” I stood back up and backed down the cave path.
The first time, Terra brought both the guards, but when they howled at the damage I did, no one came to save them. I considered that a big win. Terra became my scout. We pulled them from small alcoves, path guard spots, and even a larger alcove of seven gnoblins. No more than two ever chased a little cat and Terra was fast enough to laughingly bring them time and again. The last group of two had been level eight. I learned that experience was based on their health, the higher levelled ones having double the health and giving double the experience as the ones at the entrance.
I took a break to gnaw on one of the rations I’d found and drink from a wineskin I’d picked up from one of the higher levelled gnoblins. I had three more pieces of leather armor; a set of shoulder pads, one shin guard, and another bracer. I had a stack of twenty rusty daggers that made me wish I had a sharpening kit or something to make them into regular daggers, but I was glad they stacked up to twenty in the pack. I tried casting repair on them, but it only helped with the worn handles, not the metal of the blades.
I had to cast Cure Poison after drinking the “wine” in the wineskin. I let the poison take me down a few health points, just long enough to get my Mild Poison spell. When I cast Freshen on the wine, it became much more palatable. I tried it on the ration I’d found, but it didn’t do much. I had also finally gotten my sneak skill. I was happy with the progress.
Name: Karma
Class: Mage-ish
Level: 6 (1720/2700)
Profession: Cook (Level 5: 330/1800), Storyteller (Level 3: 20/800), Singer (Level 2: 450/500), Carpenter (Level 1: 50/300), Seamstress (Level 1: 20/300)
Health: 846/846
Mana: 864/864
Intelligence: 25
Will: 23
Strength: 22
Constitution: 25
Charm: 22
Beauty: 7
Perception: 27
Dexterity: 32
Luck: 25
Skills: Knife Fighting (35), Dodge (22), Cooking (26), Storytelling (20), Identify (19), Meditation (17), Singing (15), Dual Wielding (13), Piercing (13), Alcohol Tolerance (12), Bartering (10), Intimidation (9), Multiple Foe Combat (9), Comedy (7), Woodworking (7), Grapple (5), Kick (5), Unarmed Combat (4), Dancing (3), Sewing (3), Sneak (3)
Spells: Sparkler (36), Clean (33), Basic Repair (16), Freshen (14), Basic Heal (13), Casting Stone (10), Basic Buff (9), Cure Poison (7), Soft Breeze (6), Moisten (5), Lift Spirits (4), Summon Witch’s Familiar (3), Mild Poison (1)
Recipes: Fruit Pie (9), Sourdough Bread (6), Stew (6), Chili (3), Cornbread (3), Meat Pie (3), Porridge (3), Buffalo Sauce (2), Chicken Coop (2), Cobbler (2), Mint Sauce (2)