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Wood and Stone Elves Suck

Wood and Stone Elves Suck

We leave the dark elf group and join up with the main road

We walk along the road before discovering another branch, Come to think of it ‘’Hey side, where exactly is the elf kingdom? What is up with these branches?’’ side pushes up her imaginary glasses and gets into teacher mode ‘’Ah, we are already in the elf kingdom! The elf kingdom has many branches of the elves in their own villages, This road just leads to the capital, which acts as a central hub and branches out connecting each and every elf village! The two clearings we just encountered are the villages of the high and dark elf tribe respectively’’

I don’t think a single house and a few elves count as a ‘village’ but I guess there must be more hiding somewhere, We continue walking along this branch in the road before stumbling upon a large wooden workshop with a bunch of moving wooden mannequins doing all the labour

Wood Elf, level 23 puppet threat 11%, Specialize in wood and puppet magic, Totally a real elf, The most normal of normal elves that like to do normal elf things, Is in no way a puppet and is a normal living being

A ‘Wood elf’ spotted up and jogs over waving its arm, the so called wood elves are life sized wood mannequins, the kind of mannequins you find in art stores with the joints that you pose and make in all sorts of funny postures, The mannequin is wearing what you would expect an elf to wear, A green suit with leaf patterns all over it and embroidered gold runes highlighting against the cuffs and edges making it look like one of those fashion mannequins you set up in front of a store, the elf mannequin itself though is a little less fancy with rough cuts, sharp edges and ball joints it is hardly what you would call a work of art, heck there are so many wood sculptures why don’t they just ask one of the other elves to make them look more elf-like? For the head of the wood-elf is a smooth featureless oval with a badly drawn face and pointy ears at the side

‘’How do you do, Other, Normal living beings like me, What is your purpose visiting our normal elf village?’’ the ‘elf’ asks us with a voice trying really hard to not sound monotone but failing miserably ‘’I was taking a tour around the elf kingdom and asking around, what do you do here?’’ at least with these guys I can have an actual conversation

‘’We normal elves do normal elf things like raising plants, shooting bows, sacrificing an impure one to increase our numbers, frolicking in the trees, normal elf things the normal elf way’’ I take a step back reflexively, only now I notice a faint whiff of blood emanating from this elf and an even stronger scent coming from their factory, I look at what seems to be a landfill only to notice it is full of pointy ears and bones.

‘’I-I t-think this is enough of this village for now’’ the wood elf seems unaware that I saw that landfill and knocks its head making a hollow *pok sound ‘’Oh silly me I forgot to give you a normal souvenir to remember this normal village’’ oh I think I've seen enough of this village to remember it by now, the mannequin reaches into its pants and with a loud CRACK hands me a wooden rod

‘’Here is a normal souvenir to remember us by, Don’t worry about me, It grows normally back when I lie like a normal elf’’ I hold the wooden rod that was forcefully thrust into my hands with a blank expression, The rod is long, Hard and warm, If I didn’t know any better I would be happy if someone gave me this mage wand, I look over to side who seems equally stunned as I am, ‘’D-do you want it?’’ she shakes her head so fast it might rip off with a forceful ‘’NO!’’ and backing away from me, I store the wooden rod and abscond from the village post-haste

We reach another branch in the road, obviously taking it since its not much of a tour if I don’t visit every village I come across, taking that path the trees we encounter along the way gradually turn more and more gray before everything gets replaced entirely with stone, we walk into the ‘village’ which always consists of a single house for some reason and take a better look at the surroundings, the jungle was replaced completely with stone and so is the house, the house resembles a church and there are many stone statues of elves on pedestals

Stone/Rock elf, level 23 gargoyle threat 19%, Can petrify victims turning them into stone, uses stone magic and petrification, makes you rock hard, one of the densest of the elf subspecies

One of the elf statues opens its eyes and climbs down its pedestal, the elf in question is a beautiful elf woman with outstanding features like a master sculpted her, I freeze up, stunned at this beauty as a certain part of my body hardens in response ‘’my~ my~ my~ what are two little ladies doing here? Are you here to have a chat with me?’’

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she asks in a playful manner ‘’Y-yeah, In fact we are here to ask you’’ she tilts her head innocently ‘’whatever is it about~ my young girl~’’ does she have to repeat girl at the end of her words? ‘’u-uh, w-we are touring around the elf kingdom and asking questions, what do you do here?’’ its getting harder to move as my skin gradually turns grayer and grayer, she seems unaware of my predicament and responds with a

‘’we just stand here all day sleeping~ I have no idea why no one visits us though girlie~’’ its getting harder to control my breathing so I need to leave now ‘’thanks for the info, time to go now!’’ I say as I take the unresponsive side and run back to the main road, we reach the main road again and the petrifaction starts to wear off as I gain back my control of my body

Restore(Regeneration) levelled up

That was dangerous

Status: insert 'elves make me rock hard' and 'elves give me wood' jokes here

Name: Sucksuke Level: 53 Race: Beastkin - Cat Class: Assassin HP: 1413.775/1440.45 MP: -- Str: 125 (+50) Sta: 59 (0) Spd: 50 (+5) Agi: 42 (+12) End: 50 (+4) Vit: 47 (+6.35) Int: 37 (-11.1) Wis: 31 (-6.2) Unspent points: 15   Skills Cheat skill: Succ lvl 31 Restore lvl 21/50 Accuracy lvl 7/10 Item box lvl 9/20 Night vision lvl 5/15 Translate Identify Feline reflexes Mind resistance large Feline intuition Luck down Feline curiosity

martial arts: hand-to-claw combat lvl 5/10 sharp claws MAX swordsmanship

swordbreaker style lvl 6/10 summon sword style lvl 3/10

Titles Otherworlder Beastkin - Cat Character creator Cheat skill holder Sucker Main character One who stared into the abyss Scaredy cat Black cat Natural airhead hold E to heal cut me some slack Pyrophobia Superhuman strength Snowball warrior Dungeon diver Cross-dresser Baboon king

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