SCARY

I am now a cat stuck in a tree, What are those things anyway? ‘’Hey identify what are those things?’’

Abyss wolf lvl 100, You have no chance of living

Oh, So they’re wolves. And the ridiculously strong type too~

DINNER OLD MAN! WHERE THE HILL DID YOU DROP ME!

*Soft dubstep in the background* W-what is that noise? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SUN? 🌞🌈WHY IS EVERYTHING SUDDENLY RAINBOWS! 🌈*bgm*

Some. The wolves all vaporized in a puff of orange triangles,🔺🔶

BODY A flash of green light erupts near me in the symbol of weed.🍀☘️

ONCE Is this all-stars in nightcore?⭐️✨

TOLD Oh god it's getting louder!🔊📢

ME I see a silhouette emerging from the leaf, Puffs of orange smoke obscuring whatever inside🍃🌱🌫

THE The silhouette clears up and out comes an obese man, Riding a unicycle, Looking like Jabba the hut in human form,🌫☁️

WORLD On his head wore a snapback 🧢neon jesters cap fedora that has ‘mk amrka grt agn’ labelled on the front, Diamond shutter shades (glasses)👓 with a pink eye patch over one of the lenses✨🌟

WAS His left foot wore sandals🥿 with socks, While his right wore crocs, There are fidget spinners orbiting around him like planets to a sun🌞

GONNA His right arm was covered in diamond and gold watches, While his left as a red band with a swastika drawn on it.

ROLL His body. Oh god, His body was naked except for the 🌈rainbow 🌈fanny pack covering his crotch, He is wearing a cape made entirely out of fidget spinners, Hundreds of different coloured fidget spinners spinning in different directions making a dizzying sight, I'm getting vertigo just from a glance

ME My eyes.👀 My poor virgin eyes are bleeding👀. My ears 👂have started leaking blood long ago,

I God said I would know the demon lord when I see 👀him. That isn’t a demon lord. That is a Lovecraftian horror.

AINT I can feel my SAN points dropping

THE The music is so 🔊loud 📢I cant hear what he’s saying📣, Pointing at my ears gets him to flap his large lips

SHARPES- Oh it stopped?🔕 Am i saved?🔇

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‘’AheM cAn yoU Hear m3 nOw?’’ He says with a voice that sounded like someone swallowed helium

‘’i-I think so?’’ Is this his voice🔊 or are my ears👂 still ringing? how can I still hear👂 after that ear 👂rape?

‘’GO0D👌👌💯, N0w l3T m3 dO my 3ntrAncE aGain, buT wiTh0ut That 📢mUsic📢👌👌’’ his voice now sounds like an old man, He walks back through the glowing weed 🍁symbol and everything returns to the normal forest 🌲🌳if you count black trees 🌲🌴and red sky normal🌅.

I get down from my tree 🌲and puke 🤢🤮until my insides turn into outsides, Now to formally greet him this time, Glancing at the used to be wolves that had poofed into a pile of Doritos a shiver runs up my back.

All the colour in the world got replaced with rainbows; The sun 🌞looks like the one from Teletubbies🌞 as the green flash of light shaped as a leaf 🌱reappears in the world.

‘’💯Her3 c0meS Dat b0y~👌👌💯’’ The Lovecraftian monstrosity emerges from his leaf portal, Barreling through on a unicycle, Voice ever changing. He needs to die.

’'I 👌cAm3~😍👌💯 aS s0on aS I f3lt a diSturBanc3 In th3 f0rcE-d3gozAru👌💯❤️, So y0u MusT b3 tHe New👌 her0😇😘 mEanT t0 KiLl☠️ m3-d3su~😘❤️’’ He says while squirming❤️, All the rolls of his fat body jiggling❤️ I REALLY NEED TO KILL HIM, WHAT DID THE WORLD DO TO DESERVE HIM?

Wait. If I kill him won't that mean he just goes to hell? Those poor sinners, They’re already in hell, I don’t want to make them suffer more with sending this thing over there.

He’s eyeing me up and down😍, As if licking me all over 😍🥰😘with one hand 👌in his fanny pack moving in an up and down motion🍆, And another stroking his patchy neckbeard that has been spread out across all his chins

‘’I l1Ke whAt I se3~deSu~’😍🥰😘’ All my hairs stand up, My tail puffs up and the shivering won't stop🤢.

NOPENOPENOPENOPE ‘’buT t0O bAd You’Re w3aK RigHt Now-nAno💔, oR eLse I wOuld’Ve Had a taSte d3su~😘🥰’’ I'm sweating a waterfall right now. What did I do to deserve this? All I can do is suck.

‘‘Oh d3ar❤️😘, YoU MuSt b3 ❄️c0lD❄️ WitH 4Ll tHat ❄️$hak1ng-d3su w4, h3rE Ar3 s0me CloThes aNd a WeaPon jUsT FoR yOu-naNO❤️’’ He throws a string in the shape of a V and a floppy pixelated rod to the ground next to me🍆🍆

‘’ 1t m1gHt bE UseD-d3sU🍆👌😘, BuT Ple4sE tRe4t tHeM w3lL~😘😍’’ IM FINE THANKS, I WILL BE FINE ON MY OWN WITH ALL THESE NOPES, I HAVE SO MANY NOPES I CAN BUILD THE GREAT WALL OF NOPES

‘’K4mi-sAm4👌💯 MusT’v3 mAde 4 MiStakE 💔iN Dir3ctiOns-d3su~❤️, ThiS iS tHe l4st z0n3 b3foRe My cAstl3-deSu💔, bUt DoN’t woRry I wiLl s3nd You tO th3 Right pLace-nE❤️😘👌💯’’ He claps his flabby hands as a 🌈rainbow-coloured🌈 weed 🌱portal appears below my feet and I fall in.

It's really dark, Sticky and warm in here, Rubbing me all over in all the wrong places. It doesn’t help that I’m naked right now.

When I came to, I found myself in an abandoned wooden house filled with holes and dust. The ideal starting location, So it seems the demon lord wasn’t lying about teleporting me to the right place.

On the table has a note saying

‘’Sucksuke, If you are reading this that means you met the demon lord and he teleported you to the right location. So how was it? Did you have fun? In the nearby chest is your real starter kit and you can use this house however you like. P.s. Please kill the demon lord’’

 THAT WONDERFUL GOD PLANNED ALL OF THIS! WHEN I MEET HIM AGAIN I WILL SEAL HIM ALONG WITH THE DEMON LORD I A V E R Y SMALL ROOM!

Well at least my shelter problem has been solved, My body is covered in sweat, Blood (that leaked from my ears/eyes) and a sticky white substance that smells like mountain dew, Not the kind of thing you want to walk around in. Looking around I find the aforementioned beginners chest at the corner of the room.

I open it up and find a gray cloak, A water canteen, A flint & steel and another note, WHAT THE FELL, IS THIS IT? MY PRECIOUS BEGINNER SET IS A SINGLE CLOAK? Ugh, What does this note say

‘’LOL I can't believe you trusted me~ tbh this is all you need though, A fire starter for warmth and cooking, A cloak as a blanket and a water bottle when thirsty. Anything else you can make using stuff you kill in the jungle and for weapons, Just use your claws ps remember to identify items and enemies, It might be useful’’

 sigh fiiine ''Identify items''

Input wrong command

What? So I have to say hey identify for everything? What are you, Siri? ‘‘Hey identify, What are these items’’

Cloak of concealment – Makes you harder to notice, repairs itself after a certain time Bottomless bottle: water - An infinite supply of water Fire starter – Instantly starts fire by clicking towards wood

Oh, That’s… Better than I thought from that Beautiful god.