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VII

“I clomped to the bridge as my spirits were revived once again, I was to be free of my uncle’s sin and dedicate my life to make a decent man of Jenny least that’s what I had in my mind, upon entering this new life I was scarcely feared but was relieved as well for the thought of being free. I looked straight and found Jenny, he was contemplating the kids that had themselves busied in their work of enjoyment though it seemed as if they had deserted Jenny from their embellishment, I walked up to him and a due politeness drew over his face, he stared at me, to use his inducements over me to have him a toy to resemble their satisfaction, though I had no valid reason to be tamed as we were to depart early, to bid our last adieux to this savagery bridge, haunted with such dismay of poverty, no matter what, to what extend these young hard workers could pour their efforts, there was no chance of propitious and so I wished to desert those lands of London, and to travel to Norwich, I had wished to be a governess and I was quite sure that I was competent to hold such position if they do not possess any knowledge of my past then I was in a desperate position to seek any. We walked half a distance to Norwich, suffering through four days, and then we found a gig, in trade of some coins the man had obliged to take us to Norwich. The man was quite an orator himself as he intended to speak a lot, one story that I still hold in my heart was the story of a gunslinger, an American, I suppose you may have already been acquainted with this tale, a menacing wrecked man rugged with vengeance, perhaps I should not indulge myself into this very contemptuous story. I am more than delighted to share mine. We reached Norwich, the town was not in a mood of relaxation. We left the gig and made our gesture of thanking the man. After I had observed every person and every stool that was standing or roused to move, and listened to a long prodigious speech, Jenny had interposed my gawking by announcing his hunger. I tried to acquire something for Jenny when I spotted a stall, awash with a lot of bananas, We walked to the stall, and Jenny thought not to exert his hunger any longer so he quickly grasped a banana, and I paid the owner then we proceeded to walk though in an instant a man held my hand with such tightness that it left the stiffness in the spot.

“Her boy has stolen money from my pocket!” Those defective allegations had been made towards us, his words had stopped the bustling crowd and to their great enjoyment, they stopped to only observe.

“No, he did not! Leave me, you are hurting my hand!” It scarcely meant any objection to anyone. Jenny had run to the other side of me, afar from the man’s reach, I looked at The Man’s eyes and there were no emotions but only the wickedness lying.

“You shall return it right now, or I may have it my way, young woman!”

“Leave my hand you menace bastard!” I suffered the consequences of my words as he slapped me across my face, and the blood infused onto my lip, I was yet to find a valid reason to partake in his frugal acts while we were not to blame but him.

“Shut up and come with me you hazy bitch!” he forbiddingly began to drag me across the street as he held my hair with a tight grip, and with no avail from the crowd and my shouts of help be looked in vain, I asked Jenny to find shelter for himself, before all disappointments I could experience once again a fine lady interposed into the irksome accident.

“You have my apologies, sir, Here is your money, now you may as well free the woman.” The Man looked at her, amused yet disappointed but at last his acquirements were enlightened and satisfied, he freed my hair and the man deserted us and so did the crowd yet their chatters were quite diligent to hear. I scarcely touched my lips, the pain was yet to append perhaps I suppose it was for what I had observed, a shock, my hopes had not depicted Norwich to be cruel in this regard, The lady stood still and Jenny ran to me, crying, I suppose with the thought of parting from me, he was so disheartened and for that he hugged me tightly.

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“The bastard! Harming a pregnant lady, did not even give a glimpse of the consequences,” The accent had forced the thoughts upon me, it was entirely different from what I am accustomed to bear, it was American!

“Here, wipe your smeary blood with this,” she contrived to hand me her handkerchief, and as I began to wipe my cheek Jenny had subsequent my actions.

“Evelyn, I did not steal the man’s money,” his eyes were dragged with tears and I felt that there was no remedy for the remorse of the past, yet I was quite disheartened by his rueful expression.

“Of course, you did not! You have not grown up in that regard to perform such stout acts,” I held him and hugged him with so much love of mine. The lady stood still and observed us.

“This is your firstborn?” The lady asked solemnly.

“This is my brother,”

“So that may be your firstborn?” she pointed to my belly.

“No, this is my sin only,” I looked at her while an abundant smile took hold of her, she looked satisfied with my answer yet she had no notion of saying further but to announce her statement.

“We have some room for you two, If you may seek shelter then you are very much welcome, ask any man’s presence for Americans and they will point in the directions, here I should confer some money for you,” she handed me the money, I was content with to see it onto my hands but she was, in some sense felt a very bad woman, and I was quite happy with my decision to not exchange words furthermore with her. She walked away but then ceased and looked behind once again.

“Should I hold my hopes for your arrival?”

“For sure you may.” She smiled and walked away, I was tired of gratifying everyone’s needs, and she was so suspiciously published in my eyes, I mean for all the days I had been forced to spend after my parents’ dismay I had mostly seen the reason for a person to help some stranger to satisfy their personal needs and by this means I did not hope to enter her place, I determined to refrain from any further troubles. I had no such intention to deprive Jenny of his meal as I asked him to peel the skin of his banana and have it all for himself, he was delighted and ate it in a flash, though we were accustomed to finding a suitable job yet the drama that had inclined with my utmost welcome to this Norwich City it surely coaxed me to avert my mind as it had went through my head like a knife, now I was too busy myself in pursuit of a shelter and as I looked at my hand I saw the money which that lady had provided, perhaps it was sufficed to cover our sorrowful head for a week. The night had shown itself once again when we were successful in finding abode. We walked in and I hoped that no other troubles would impute in our life though I could not prepare myself to close my ears as the place was reeked with the utmost moans and shouts of husband’s and wife’s arguing consistently. Deprived of guilt or say god’s lights, this cheap place was no safe haven for us, but lack of money had coaxed me to suffer within these walls until our suffering would be tolerable if I may find a job. After the arduous task being supposed to be handled by me my labour was in vain. I was devastated as no person could provide work to a pregnant lady no matter if I was merely pregnant for only a month or so. I was so raged with the innocence that I had uttered my conditions to them before they could offer me work, and so during night I was awake and had curtailment myself with the thoughts, worrying thoughts when I ventured to think I returned with an answer, what I seek for it cannot be achieved without the aid of my potent mind, yes I was afraid, and was censured by myself, and worried as well as the landlady had enumerated the shillings that were supposed to be fulfiled according to her satisfaction, and it had vexed me in pretty badly, perhaps I had gotten to understand that I was to seek the freedom of this unborn child, I walked to my bag and possessed a piece of cloth that the woman had gave me, I rifled it to find its contents and when I had uncovered it, I only found a bunch of pellets. I leered at it, observed it, and looked upon the thoughts that may resemble with any adequate of mine then I must suspend this action yet to no avail I had not found any idea of such. Sometimes, on such occasions, I tend to think about how my life would have unfolded if I had suspended my actions before I used those pellets. Perhaps I had deserted the authority to know, least I know a consequence of my actions at the current moment and that is I had not let any kind of light shed upon this unborn child and that I had murdered an unborn infancy, or say I am no better than a MURDERER!”