“My life suddenly changed, the interest, the sacrifices, the fear and the desertion of hope, these all were tangled within myself, and the interest had only and only to be surrounded with the name of Jenny, with the thought of bearing the sinful child within me, weeks had fallen, perhaps as my memories are intact ----- least I hope, was only 4 weeks and my face had despairingly showed what I had expected, the slanting taste fell mellow over my tongue though it was in my least concern as we had no roof over our heads, we were to sleep in street, and to eat what the person with propriety had left out of the brothel, yes sir, I was offered to be submissive for the last time and to be work as a whore though I harshly rejected it, perhaps after the rejection my words did embitter me when we were to suffer the cause of insufficient foods for the only purpose of the populous street that were waiting for any employment, housemaid or some had gracefully taken the offer of prostitution, though there were some women like me. Perhaps this line of the street used to be known as the slavery sold, the person among riches had their vilest of thoughts to buy a slave now it is to employ a worker yet I never was offered a job of purity until I met her, sir perhaps When I talk in regard of her it will surely bring me to my happiest times, but sir I am afraid it is not the right moment, I have a lot of desire to say a whole story of myself, few more weeks elapsed and I was pretty deeply swollen as my pregnancy progressed, sir if you may think that I had my desire concealed upon my thoughts that I was to raise my sin then you are wrong in this matter as well, I had my idea of handling this sin, I was to put the baby into a safe circumstance and to never look back, Jenny did not know about my pregnancy as he was bestowed a life by myself, that I was only ailing in some way that may have caused the great damage onto me. For sure, he rightfully understood that we were detained to hide as if the coppers identify us then they may very well take me away and that had held his nerves so high that he sometimes even hesitated to speak, sir enough about Jenny, now let me reach onto the incident, one night we were under the bridge while the rain was cascading, there was this old woman who may or may not be hunting an employment was to stay beside me, well hidden from the light rain, her eyes were stuck at me for most of the times though I did not dare to say word as her fingers had the nails perfectly intact yet some fingers had no nails as if someone had her forced or deceit her to rip her own nails and her hair opened as if she had no manners, though in the darkness it seemed as if she was a witch, her teeth were be gone from her mouth, she had a necklace that seemed very peculiar to my own eyes, sir, my grand mother, died when I was only 8 years old, yet I remembered most of the lessons that she managed to deliver it to me, now her ancestors had witnessed a lot of witch craft and the execution of a lot of witches, but the thing that had struck them was the despairing look on the vile faces of them, no sir, I am not here to abstract if witches exist or not I am here to say my part, I remember when I asked how to identify if a person is a witch or not, she said to have a nice look on their body marks, I tried but the darkness had prevailed me to not have a sight to capture, I remember her words when she said it to me in my own request.
“If you are not in manners to have a view then you must ask her with direct words, are you a witch?” she laughed very bravely after those words, “Then look at their despairing look, you may understand after that.”
Now sir, at present when I am writing these words for your perusal, these words did provide me a good chuckle as I get to know how cheerful stupidity I had at that time, I was never supposed to take my grandmother’s words so eagerly and so studiously as she was only to have herself enlightened with my 8 years old innocent self, now sir, let me not distract myself from the story, or if I may venture to talk about my grandmother then I may very well take a whole day of yours as I have my remembrance of her stories. As I looked upon her face my lips trembled yet I managed to say those words,
“Are you a witch?” I did not spot any peculiarities in her reaction as she only laughed, though when she laughed I felt suddenly nauseous within myself, consulting Jenny, I had no intention of letting him be with herself so I hastened away with my brother to free myself from my nausea when I returned the old lady was a far from the old position yet she called for my presence, I, with hesitation walked to her, she had managed to acquire a front position under the bridge to leave this rotten place as soon as the rain cease their movement.
“You see young lady, when I first spotted you my reaction was “Oh my lord, is she pregnant?” but when you whisked away within a second after you prostrated a weird question to me, that worked as a confirmation to my vindication,”
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I did not dare to say a word, and before I could even, she spoke with the latter of perplexity in the most deplorable manner.
“Do you suppose that you will be hired with your present condition?” she asked,
“And who that little gentleman might be?”
“He ----- He is my brother,”
“I see, you may mind exhausting yourself as much as you desire, yet it may never tumble you any work, but I am afraid only the future of a whore beholds in front of you,”
The silence prevailed over me to say a word, I must ascertain what my feelings were, I was scared by her words as I had no live desire to sell myself, yet the most important thing that worried me was what would become of my Jenny if I dare to step my foot on the profession of them?
“Do you have any suggestions?” I said with the eyes of perplexity.
“Perhaps I do, Tell me something, how old are you?”
“I am 19, ma ‘dam,”
She chuckled before announcing her suggestions, I must say it again – She looked just as same as a witch once again under the bridge while the rain occupied the sky with the obsession of the thunderous lights. Jenny had learned to stay silent in this world of cruelty, he intelligibly understood the cruel way of surviving and to stay afar from dangerous people, so in this matter, he stayed silent as in his eyes the old woman held such dangerous traits.
“What is the matter that helped you to laugh?” I asked.
“Oh dear, I am no ma ‘dam, I am, for what are you, an old woman in the hunt of a job, though no one has any wishes to hire such a useless woman now,”
The prescient sadness had the possession of me, the new day and the new light of hope were always tortured by the new facts of this embittered world, I was derailed by my sense of grief.
“Do not worry about me, I will be gone in a few years regardless, but I suppose I may leave you in a better condition before I can walk to heaven,” she chuckled again as the rain ceased the vile movements itself.
“Do you have any farthings with yourself?” she asked.
“No, No I do not have any besides this piece of bread, if you may then you can have it,”
She looked at me with utter despair and then ventured out to check if any drop of rain may stay alive, The departure of the rain was quite visible as the others dared to leave the healthy shelter, I was though, detained to stand still.
“For what you are waiting for? Come on, get out,”
I did what she had told me to do, The moon was so gorgeous within the clouds and the saddened destitute of any kind of help poured onto me as if she did not help me then I may rot with my savagery fate.
“You must gather some farthings before we can proceed,”
I looked at her with sheer incredulity at what her plans being concealed upon her mind in the sake of my help, to what help may require any amount of farthings, I supposed at that time that there would not be any kindness that happens without any consent of profitable urges.
“Where will I gather any amount of money? There is no such way to earn.” I said, bewildered as my mind could not find a movement to earn some in a short time.
“Oh dear, you already know of that, I will be waiting for you tomorrow in this same position and I suppose you will have the money within yourself.”
She dispersed into the darkness with those words, under the bridge where we occupied to have a conversation earlier, now I heard her whole words and it felt more fragmentary, perhaps more of a scam, and as I could resemble my senses round my surrounding, the evasive manners of such young women who craved for money, the smile that was formed within their faces as they waited or say sought for their next customer.
In London, the streets often changes its course when the night befall upon us, some that are employed to be settled in a whore house and some that are waiting for a new customer in the streets, though I did not know at the time why my attention had been stolen by the irritable and most unkindly work, I did not heed much on the matter, I walked with Jenny to have a safe place for our sojourn, the denseness of the night had us so weary when the streets had saw one of their most busiest night, and most of the safest places that we had taken shelter were renounced by the young lads who were there for the sake of celebrating a day when The King of London had welcomed a dear son, the town had delighted with the chuckle and fun for their beloved King’s happiness, though now we were in such trouble that we could not find a warm place for ourselves, we slumbered to the roads and when I tumbled upon a store that had it’s door ajar, and there was no sorts of lights as we procured the place, a corner beneath a table that was abandoned for unknown times, yes it was declared to be in a bad shape though at that time I wondered that no such person could decompose our sleep. Jenny had kissed me and fell asleep, huh, What a lovely kid he used to be but he was so derailed by such cruelty that it gave only such harsh ache to my eyes to see no smile, he was in such dismay to say even a word, the shock was impenetrable for himself.
Sir, now I suppose I must declare my story to be paused, for now, I will have myself asked to write another letter for you so soon.”