BANG!
I flew backward as a wave of hyper-compressed air slammed into my chest. The force flung me through the safe deposit box room and crashed me against the stairs.
“Ow,” I groaned, picking myself up off the ground. The ringing in my ears was already fading, and I could hear…screaming? I shook my head to clear it and readied my wand.
[HP 3/6]
[Gritty Recovery! +1 Grit Point Pending]
The Extras—the hostages, that is—were all screaming. And with good reason.
“Professor Pancake sent you, LABRAT? He was never here at all, was he?”
The [Laboratory Assistance Bot–Retrieval, Aggression, Terror], Peter’s masterpiece and lieutenant, unfolded itself to its seven-foot height and stomped forward on its two legs, crushing jewelry and papers beneath its three-toed feet. Its arm cannon was already spooling up for another shot. It stared at me as it spoke in its digital monotone. “Of course not. He knew you’d come, but he grabbed these chumps off the street to sweeten the pot! The professor planned for everything.”
If LABRAT and the remaining Panic Pals wanted a fight with the hostages at risk, I’d have to be better. Much better. “Luckily for you folks, I’m a [Hometown Heroine]! I’ll have you safe in no time,” I shouted to the hostages. A faint, bright blue glow surrounded me, weaving around my body. It’d last twenty seconds, and I’d be—
“No, she won’t!”
BANG!
—faster than usual while it did. I spun to the side as LABRAT’s cannon fired again. This time, [Hometown Heroine’s] speed buff let me dodge. Instead of hitting me, the shockwave spun me around a second time before I steadied myself in a crouch.
[Graceful Dodge! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]
With the arm cannon recharging, I waved my wand. “[Stellar Ray]!” The light beam clipped LABRAT’s blue-colored steel torso just below its pincer arm, but most of it went past the man-shaped robot. The Extras’ screams redoubled as the bright blue light sliced over their heads in the vault. It also hadn’t caused much in the way of damage.
“You’re willing to hurt the hostages to destroy me? Bold, Magical Girl Understudy!”
For a second, I froze. No. I wasn’t willing to get the hostages hurt. It wouldn’t cost me any Style Points, but it wouldn’t make good TV. I lowered my wand slowly. As long as LABRAT stood between me and them, I couldn’t use it anyway. This fight had just gotten a lot more complicated, and I wasn’t sure I had a plan for the—
[Inkling] activated, urging me to dodge right.
I dodged right.
BANG!
The airburst slammed against the wall in front of me, shattering deposit box doors and throwing them across the room. But I’d pirouetted clear. Sometimes [Inkling] let me predict attacks. Other times, it helped find clues. But I didn’t have much control over when it activated, and it’d never happened more than twice in an act.
[Intuitive Moves! +1 Cunning Point Pending]
“Panic Pals, get her!” LABRAT yelled. One…two…three bots flew out of the room. The first two charged me, while the last opened up with its best weapon—its speakers.
“HIDE YOUR RUBIES, YOUR DIAMONDS, YOUR PEARLS!
PROFESSOR PANIC’S IN THE HOUSE, BOYS AND GIRLS!”
I looked for an opening to get to the hostages. Nothing. “That line’s the worst one! [Stellar Ray]!”
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point Pending]
I blasted the bot as it flew away from the Extras. I sprinted toward the two remaining Panic Pals before the speaker-bot hit the ground. With [Hometown Heroine] ticking down, I quickly ran down the first one, springboarded off the wall, and windmill-kicked it in the eye.
I ran toward the next bot as that one spun crazily.
BANG!
An airburst punched into my side, flattening me against the wall. I held back a curse; I’d tunnel-visioned on the annoying Panic Pals and lost track of LABRAT! I picked myself up and kept chasing the Panic Pal, but this time, I kept an eye on the hulking bot standing by the vault door.
[HP 2/6]
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
I caught up with the chomping, flailing Panic Pal just as the buff from [Hometown Heroine] ran out. I grabbed it and kicked off from the wall, launching myself toward the Panic Pal—and LABRAT! It spun, trying to bring its compressed air cannon around to blast me. Eddies of smoke whirled behind me.
BANG!
LABRAT’s airburst missed me by inches, whipping my hair and bows back and forth. The bot couldn’t change angles fast enough, and both the Panic Pal and I slammed into its arm. The Panic Pal bounced right. I skidded left.
Toward the vault door.
I sprung to my feet, readying my wand. LABRAT struggled to its feet and stepped toward me. Its air cannon swung from a few tubes and wires, hissing as air spurted from its tank. It reached its pincer arm across, severing the lines and wires. The cannon arm clattered to the ground. A moment later, a three-clawed foot crushed it. “So, Magical Girl Understudy, you have chosen destruction?”
“Yeah! Yours!”
[Badass Line! +1 Badass Point Pending]
I got ready to cast another [Stellar Ray]. But I didn’t need to. As the robot started walking forward, the ceiling above it collapsed, burying it in floor tiles, half-burned chairs, and the check-writing desk. Its clawed arm started flailing around, trying to move the heavy, flaming desk off itself, but it wasn’t going anywhere for a while. I let out a sigh I hadn’t realized I was holding in. Time to focus on the Extras.
I ran into the vault as LABRAT continued to struggle with the desk. Four hostages sat on the floor, none of them bank employees. I had no idea where Peter had found them, but a couple smelled like booze. Had he picked them up from a bar? Either way, they needed help.
I pulled the duct tape slowly off the first one’s mouth and wrists. “Have…well, a little fear. You’re in a burning bank, after all. I’m Magical Girl Understudy, and I have a plan! Get yourself the rest of the way free, then start helping the others. I’m going to make sure you’re safe and—what is that?”
“The big robot put it there. There’s a note, too,” the woman said shakily. She rubbed her wrists and ripped off the duct tape holding her ankles together. “What’s your plan?”
“I’ll lock you in. The fire department can bust you out in a couple of hours. Chief Thatcher said it was fine,” I said, distracted. A pair of green-tinted safety goggles sat on the vault floor in a pile of bills. Peter’s goggles. With a note.
To the victor goes the prize. Try these out to shield your eyes.
He’d left his goggles here. For me! He really did care, even if he was an absolute ass about showing it! I scooped them up and put them on over my forehead.
“Magical Girl Understudy, I’ll break you, and then I’ll break that vault!”
“Keep getting people untied. I’ve gotta go!” I said and ran for the vault door. Sure, I could close it from the inside. But LABRAT had gotten in once. It’d break in again. I had to deal with the robot. After I made sure the Extras would be safe.
The check-writing desk rocked and teetered as I pushed on the bank vault’s massive door. It thudded shut. A second later, the terrible screech of metal on metal filled the air. I spun the vault’s handle and turned to face LABRAT.
[Hostage Rescue! +1 Drama Point Pending]
I peered through the pooling acrid smoke, coughing. The desk rolled to the side, and green lights in LABRAT’s head and unbroken limbs straightened slowly until the robot towered above me. The light made glowing spheres of green in the swirling smoke. LABRAT stomped toward me. It had ripped off the rest of its damaged arm, but the crab-pincer one snapped open and shut.
“[Stellar Ray]!” I swung my wand at the menacing machine, but its torso armor took the light beam without a scuff. “Ugh, I hate fighting you so much, LABRAT!”
“I hate you too, Magical Girl Understudy,” LABRAT monotoned back at me. It stepped toward me, swinging its claw. It clacked shut on my arm, and the robot flung me into the corner. “It’s in my programming.”
[HP 1/6]
Picking myself up, I brushed off my dress quickly. “I’ll be your [Hometown Heroine],” I said, running as the robot clunked around behind me. The blue buff kept me in front of the damaged robot while I thought.
I couldn’t fight LABRAT. One more hit, and I’d start getting hurt, not just taking superhero damage.
And I couldn’t just run away. If LABRAT got the door open, the hostages would be in serious trouble.
I needed a solution before [Hometown Heroine] ran out and LABRAT caught up. I came up with one. But it was pretty dumb. Peter had programmed the robot to hate me. So maybe it’d hate me enough to follow me away from the vault.
Hey, it was worth a shot!
I gained a little distance as the blue glow faded, then skidded to a stop among the jewelry and promissory notes. I glanced up; the floor had collapsed on top of LABRAT, and there had to be a gap up there. Maybe one big enough to…
There.
LABRAT lumbered toward me, but it’d never make it in time. “[Starwave Sail]!” I shouted, immediately leaning back as the sailboard popped up under me. The board rocketed up. I jumped, throwing myself toward the jagged hole in the ceiling. The sailboard vanished almost before it’d fully appeared. I went flying back up into the lobby, somersaulting through the air. The floor greeted me, and I rolled, arms flailing.
[Dramatic Escape! +1 Drama Point Pending]
[Showoff! +1 Flamboyance Point Pending]
I picked myself up. No HP loss. No grit point gain. And no sign that LABRAT was following me. I took a deep breath, grabbed my wand, and peered over the edge. The robot stared up at me, mouse ears glowing. I stared back, wiping smokey sweat off my face. Time to get LABRAT up here, away from the vault door.
“Hey, bolt-brain, get up here! A fair fight, just you, me, and this burning building,” I called down at it.
The robot just stared. Its gaze dropped to the vault door.
“Unless Professor Pantry programmed you to be chicken! Bawk bawk bawk!” Tucking my hands under my armpits, I strutted around, clucking at LABRAT and bobbing my head like a pecking hen. At the same time, I tried to shield my reddening face from the circling camera drone. Taunting a robot? What was I thinking? How was that supposed to work?
But it did.
LABRAT stopped moving. Its gaze turned toward me. “Professor Panic has directed me to tell you that he ‘didn’t build any scaredy-bots.’”
“Coulda fooled me!” I waited for it to run for the stairs. If only I could be so lucky.
The giant robot’s arm locked in place at its side. Flaming jets poured out of its feet. I watched, wide-eyed, as LABRAT’s glowing green eyes grew even with mine.
[Play Stupid Games! +1 Drama Point Pending]
I groaned. This was so unfair! I just wanted to stop Peter and go back to sleep! Then I ran for the left front window, wand in hand, and threw myself out of it. "[Starwave Sail]!”
As I tore across the bank’s lawn on the sailboard and Tails sprinted after me, LABRAT crashed through the window frame behind me. The plushie cat only had one question.