Saturday, January 30
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[Casting Call]
[Episode: Short: The Hand of Fate - PG-13]
[Role: Heroine! Do you accept the role? (Yes/No)]
[Role Focus: Cunning+Flamboyance]
[The Hand of Fate: Act One in Progress]
By the time Fursona—in her Kaiju suit, thank God—and I left Walnut Tower and headed for Mid-Town, the nerves were really getting to me, and I had regrets. Not about the plan. The plan was fine. Or, more accurately, I couldn’t do any better with the resources I had, and I couldn’t trust any other heroes or villains except Fursona. I wasn’t sure about getting Fursona to use her Kaiju mode so she’d be tired tonight. A whole Episode just to get her to lay down and read.
But my frustration…that was the wrong word, but I couldn’t think of a better one…toward Snowball, Cartman, and all the other Ilneats had only grown, and I was committed. The more I thought about it, the more I saw flashes of Snowball in Rocko, and I hadn’t even dug back farther than a year in my head. I had to do something, and this was what I could do.
So, we rocketed through the air on my sailboard, heading for the Alkirk building. Not that I expected to find Theseus there; I’d told him to find a suitable arena and start making chaos, and that we’d be there pretty quickly.
The first explosion at the old football stadium clued us in on how literally he’d taken that, and we dove for the stands. Snow covered the yard markers and clung to the uprights on the goalposts, and coming out of the locker room with a funny-looking machine tucked in his six arms, was Theseus. The machine had parts that could—loosely—be described as limbs, so that had to be why he was here. At least, it was his excuse.
“He’s been upgrading,” Fursona said.
I nodded. “Sure has.”
All six of the supervillain’s arms connected improbably at his shoulders, giving him a thrashing mess of different weapons; I saw a chainsaw, two harpoon-launcher-looking things, a machine gun of some type, a crab claw—not a metal one, but a giant crab’s claw—and the expected rocket launcher. I sighed in relief, turning it into a gasp for Fursona’s benefit. “He’s loaded for bear.”
“But not for Kaiju,” she replied.
“No, not for that.” I landed, hopping off the board as it disappeared.
Kaiju-Sona stomped toward the villain. “Theseus, we’ve already beaten you once! Surrender!”
“Oh, I’m wringing my hands in worry! Listen, Fursona, you two may have been powering up, but so have I. I’ve got the best tech Alkirk can afford to kick your butts with.” Theseus fired a harpoon launcher at Fursona, who ducked it.
The fight was on!
I leaped to the side to get a [Starlance] off around Fursona’s wide, plushie suit. It zipped toward Theseus, slamming into him and firing a ray off toward the sky. I blinked, but it made sense; there wasn’t a secondary target to hit yet.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
Theseus turned toward me. “Trying to give yourself a leg up? It won’t help!” I dodged as the machine gun started opening fire on me. Its shells bounced off the cross-bar and buried themselves in the snow, but a few crashed into me, throwing me into a drift. My head rang, but before I could get up, Theseus was rushing toward me.
[HP 10/14]
I backpedaled as the chainsaw arm whooshed through the air toward me. Its elbow joint sparked—a weak point? As the blade roared, I ducked, and it made contact with the solid steel goalpost. It dug in, more sparks flying, and I used [Spotlight Strike] to slam the joint. A loud creaking filled the air as the arm disconnected, the blade kicking up snow and thrashing around.
[Stylish Strike! +1 Flamboyance Point]
But the many-armed villain only laughed and fired another harpoon at me. It crashed into the snow, and I laughed. “That’s your best sho—ooof!”
[HP 9/14]
Theseus retracted the harpoon, pulling his many-armed frame toward me. As he collided, the impact drove me into the ground—and pushed some air from my lungs. I tried to suck in a breath, but the crab claw clamped shut around my neck, cutting the air off. I kicked and flailed dramatically but couldn’t even reach the villain. Was there a weak point on this arm? No? It was too soon for this!
“Guess we’re not neck and neck anymore,” Theseus quipped.
[HP 8/14]
Something slammed into him and roared. A wave of fire ripped over him, and he let go. I hit the snow, gasping for breath, as Fursona said, “No, I’m head and shoulders over you!”
I sucked in air, massaging my neck; even through superhero damage, it still hurt. But the plan was coming together. Theseus fired a long volley from the machine gun arm and retracted both of his harpoons, forcing Fursona to disengage before she could do more than damage the crab arm’s connection point. And in the distance, I could hear the first drone humming its way in.
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My wand stuck out. I took aim. “[Starlance]!” I shouted, and the ray ripped into the cold January air. It made contact with the Alkirk drone but only clipped it. A secondary ray shot from the impact hit Theseus in the back of the head, and he winced.
[Dramatic Damage! +2 Drama Points]
As the drone started a controlled fall toward the snow mid-field, I fired another [Starlance] toward it. But this time, I missed. I tried for another shot, but a harpoon sliced the air over my head, and a moment later, the machine gun arm rattled back to life. “No laser, Theseus?” I asked as I dodged.
“Not yet,” he replied.
“Well, that’s going to be a problem for you! [Limelight Barrage]!” A half-dozen [Starlances] took off toward the villain, who tried to dodge—and failed. The first impact clipped one of the harpoon launchers, and the rest crashed into his center of mass, right where I’d aimed.
[Dramatic Damage! +5 Drama Points]
He snarled, rushing toward the downed drone and detaching his broken crab claw. The new arm socketed in a moment later—an electrically-charged Tesla coil. It whined loudly, sending a lightning bolt across the battlefield toward me. I used [Quick-Time Change] and [Freeze Frame] to dodge this time, finishing my Itsy Bitsy Spider dance and rushing to a new position.
[Flashy Fitting-Room! +1 Flamboyance Point]
[Steel Yourself! +1 Grit Point]
As time picked up, the electrical arm went into the most obvious ‘charging’ state I’d ever seen. Panels opened on its sides, revealing glowing-hot heat sinks. Theseus waved them through the frigid air, leaving steam in the arm’s wake. “Guess you’re catching me red-handed!”
“God dammit, Theseus, stop with the puns!” Fursona slammed into him, tail thrashing and massive plushie jaws biting. They wrestled for a bit, but the electrical arm’s head sinks retracted, and another electrical blast ripped into her, knocking her away as sparks coursed dramatically across her suit.
“Hey, leave Fursona alone!” I shouted, using [Power-Weaving] and [Wind Front] to shove the villain away from my partner. Then I followed it up by putting a [Thunderhead] up, knocking him even farther away. As the clouds overhead went from white-gray to an angry near-black, I smiled. “You’re in trouble now!”
[Badass Move! +1 Badass Point]
[Pause for Effect! +1 Drama Point]
[Floating Points: 1 Badass]
Theseus responded with a laugh and a burst of machine gun fire that caught me unprepared. Pain flared across my stomach and chest, and I hit the ground. But it wasn’t a [Combo-Breaker], so I popped back up and kept fighting.
[HP 4/14]
His lightning arm was almost recharged. Now was the moment. I used [Ride the Lightning], letting the electricity pour through me. It rushed toward him in a familiar tendril, ripping into the heat sinks on his arm. They popped and crackled, then exploded in a rippling boom that tore his entire arm off his shoulder.
[Ride the Lightning! +1 Flamboyance Point]
[Floating Points: 3 Badass, 1 Drama]
As he reeled from the blow, I followed it up with a [Thunderhead]-empowered [Wind Front] and threw the villain across the field and into the visitor’s entrance tunnel. The blast kicked up a massive amount of snow, too, and I lost sight of him for a moment, but I could hear another drone overhead.
[Badass Move! +1 Badass Point]
[Thunderstruck! +1 Drama Point]
[Power-Weaving! +6 Badass, 3 Drama, and 1 Flamboyance Point]
With the combo landed and the drone getting closer, I quickly used [Quick-Time Change] and flipped back to Magical Girl Understudy. Technically, Lab Assistant Panic would be the best suit against Theseus’s current weapons, but I couldn’t risk it. The plan had to go off perfectly, and an early villainous breakdown could mess everything up.
[Flashy Fitting-Room! +1 Flamboyance Point]
[Rejuvenation Activated! HP 9/14]
But I hadn’t even fully finished the choral music and lights when Theseus erupted from the locker room.
According to plan.
I used [Solar Wing] to take to the air and fired a [Starlance] toward the villain as Fursona roared and sent another gout of flame his way. He couldn’t dodge both, and he didn’t try. Instead, he tanked the damage with one of the harpoon launchers and the smoking stub of his Tesla coil, then aimed the machine gun up toward me.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
My damage wasn’t enough to stop Theseus—not even close—and he fired a harpoon that punched through Kaiju-Sona’s tail and pinned her to the ground. As she struggled to free herself, the villain turned toward me again. “Time to fall back to Earth, Magical Girl Understudy!”
The machine gun rippled out a barrage of gunfire, and I ducked and dodged through the air on my [Solar Wing]. But every burst forced me lower to the ground, and one sliced across my back and clipped one of the wings.
[HP 5/14]
I was at critical HP. Another burst could easily take me out. But at the same time, I had to do something. Fursona wasn’t free yet; the harpoon’s reversed teeth gripped the frozen ground too tightly. So I stopped mid-air and started another [Quick-Time Change]—this time to Super Girl Spotlight Star.
The music swelled as the hood covered my head, and I took my [Freeze-Frame] seconds to get off to the side, away from Theseus’s machine gun. If we wanted to win this, we needed to do something about that.
[Advanced Accessories: Magical Girl Understudy, Magical Girl Rainy Day, Copy Cat]
[Skill Siphon Activated: Style Points Disabled]
[Meter’s Running: 7/8]
I set up a shot with [Limelight Barrage]. Four massive [Maximum Starlances] slammed into Theseus, sending arms tumbling to the ground, but missing both the harpoon pinning Fursona and the rocket launcher. More drones buzzed toward the battlefield, but I couldn’t be bothered with them right now.
[Dramatic Damage!]
[Meter’s Running: 6/8]
My entire attention was on Theseus.
The harpoon snapped; Fursona had given up on pulling it out and just broke it instead. She roared toward the villain, but another arm dropped next to him before she could get there. The wreckage of his electricity cannon fell off, and a moment later, a glowing shield covered the new arm in a blue semi-sphere. She slammed into it, bounced off, and ate a laser ray to the face for her trouble.
That did it.
As she popped up, plush smoking, her roaring doubled in volume. She’d drank the juice box. And that meant…
It was time.
As she doubled in size, then doubled again, I used another [Quick-Time Change] to switch back to Understudy. At the same time, a dozen rockets zoomed toward me, and I [Freeze-Framed] to the edge of the blast zone. The explosion rippled across me, even though I wasn’t in it, and the shock knocked me off my [Solar Wing].
[HP 2/14]
Would that be enough? I’d see in…one second.
WHAM!
[HP 0/14]
I hit the snow and tried to push myself up, but as Theseus rushed toward the ever-growing Kaiju-Sona, he lashed out with a wrecked arm, hitting me with the ruined chainsaw’s bulky gas motor. As darkness rushed around me, I had one last thought: this was all according to plan.