55 - Faith, Hope, and Charity
Saturday, December 12
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[Casting Call]
[Episode: Faith, Hope, and Charity - PG-13]
[Role: Sidekick! Do you accept the role? (Yes/No)]
[Role Focus: Flamboyance+Badass]
[Faith, Hope, and Charity: Act One in Progress]
I wasn't surprised when the Casting Call appeared halfway through North Poudre. A little disappointed that it wasn’t my Episode? Sure. But not surprised. After all, we weren’t striking against 3V1L; this one was all about Sister Sly. And if it was all about Sister Sly, it was also all about Fursona.
She rode on the sailboard, clinging to the steering rail as I navigated through the North Poudre apartments with one hand—the other was on the kangaroo suit’s waist to keep her steady and reassure her.
The plan was simple, and as we rocketed toward the old abandoned church’s stained-glass bell tower, I set the first part in motion. “Ready?”
“Uh, sure. Yeah. Yeah, I’m ready,” Fursona whispered. “You can do this, Bee. You can do this.”
“If you want to back out, we can try a different strategy. It’s really okay,” I said, even though having her in the tower would give us a huge advantage. “You can hit the front door with me instead.”
“No. I can do it.” Fursona gathered her legs under her, let go of the sailboard’s handle, and jumped as we zoomed past the bell tower. I watched her fall feet-first as she screamed into my comms.
CRASSSSH!
[Badass Bomber! +1 Badass Point]
The circular stained glass window just below the bell tower came apart, shattering inward in a hail of sharp shards. I pulled back on the steering bar, leaning against it with all my weight, and did a quick circle of the building. “You good, Fursona?”
“Whew, okay.” Fursona laughed, the nervous tension bleeding off through my earbud. “Yeah, haha, I’m good. I’m good. I’m in. Let’s do this thing. I’ll see you by the pews.”
“You got it.” I circled one more time and headed for the front door.
For this one, I’d brought every ounce of firepower I could. Understudy, Rainy Day, and Copy Cat, of course, but also Lab Assistant Panic. I wasn’t carrying a single investigation-oriented power, and I didn’t have anything to save Extras with. We were hard committed here: win, beat Sister Sly badly enough that she couldn’t recover, and let 3V1L off the chain, so to speak. And I had a couple of new tricks up my sleeve, things I’d gotten from that Investigative Episode. They’d help make this quick—at least, I hoped they would.
I landed and pushed the front door open; it squeaked on its hinges as I peered inside.
Sister Sly’s henchmen had cleared the room. Every pew was stacked neatly against the walls, forming a long, dark hallway with an arched roof overhead. Across the room, near the podium where the preacher should have been, a few more pews had been stacked to make a wall. I stopped with my head in the door. How had they known we were coming?
“Boss, boss, it’s not 3V1L! It’s a Magical Girl! We’ve got a Magical Girl!” A hench shouted, throwing a metal orb my way. It bounced along the floor, skittered to a stop by my feet, and exploded as I threw myself to the side. Chunks of metal bounced off my back and side, gouging holes in my superhero damage that would have been a problem if I didn’t have any.
[HP 10/13]
I took aim at the handful of henchmen as I came around the corner, then spun and used [Limelight Barrage]. Five [Starlances] raced off toward their targets, each veering toward a different one, though one unfortunate hench took a pair to the chest. Within a second, the henches—who’d been on the attack a moment before—were down, clutching wounds and moaning about how their boss had made them to it.
[Dramatic Damage! +5 Drama Points]
So, that was my first new trick, and frankly, it’d worked great! I stepped into the now-cleared room, glancing back and forth in case I’d missed a hench or two. I had, and a gunshot cracked out but whizzed over my head as I ducked. Then I fired a [Starlance] toward the gunman, who crumpled in a pile of brown monk’s robes a moment later.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
The attack was going great so far; I’d secured the church’s naze, and Fursona should be clearing from the top down. We’d pin her down, one way or another, and then Sister Sly would be out of the picture.
If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
A camera drone—one from Rocko’s collection I’d been storing in the Green Room—hovered overhead, filming me as I headed for one of the unblocked side doors. The next part of the plan would be room-to-room fighting, where a hench could easily ambush me and knock off a few points of superhero damage. So, as I pushed forward, I used [Quick-Time Change] and transformed into Lab Assistant Panic.
[Flashy Fitting-Room! +1 Flamboyance Point]
[Steel Yourself! +1 Grit Point]
“THE PANIC IS BACK, SHE’S READY TO GO!
SO YOU’D BEST WATCH OUT, CAUSE SHE’S READY TO THROW!”
“Reading your villainous breakdown levels at 34%. Take it easy, okay?” TA-1LZ asked.
“Yeah, whatever, just go stealth and start clearing rooms.” I reached toward a device on my wrist that hadn’t been there before, then activated [Set Dressing]. I’d gotten the power last year, but it was niche enough that I hadn’t bothered carrying it before. Invisibility was powerful, yes, but working with others weakened it a lot. Fursona and I rarely went stealth, anyway, so it wasn’t worth the slot. Usually.
But TA-1LZ and her active camo? That was a match made in hell—at least for our opponents. I shimmered and faded away, and so did my cat.
[Dastardly Plan! +1 Cunning Point]
As I crept through the church’s offices and storage rooms, I’d occasionally point out a target for TA-1LZ to mow down with rubber bullets and tasers, and every once in a while, I hacked a device when a hench noticed our near-invisible advance. The war cat’s Gatling gun whirred on her head, giving away our position in quiet rooms, and I started wondering if I should make a weapon with [Science has Rules?]. I’d accumulated a half-dozen Cunning Points and a handful of Badass ones by the time we finished the loop around the burned-out courtyard.
But I hadn’t found Sister Sly.
----------------------------------------
I returned to the church’s naze in time for Fursona to come down the tower stairs. “How’d it go?”
“Uh, Understudy? Where you at?” Fursona asked, looking around.
I deactivated [Set Dressing] quickly, shimmering back into existence. “Yeah, sorry.”
[Good Thinking! +1 Cunning Point]
“New power?” Fursona asked, glancing at me as I slow-transformed back to Understudy. It took a moment, but all signs of villainy had faded when I'd finished. A good thing, too; I’d been planning on taking over the building once Sister Sly was out of the way. It’d be a perfect lair for Lab Assistant Panic to start her reign of terror, and honestly? She wanted to make her mark on Tokyexico, just like every other vil—
Fursona cleared her throat, and I flushed. “Sorry. No, not new. I’ve had it since the Episode with Professor Bagges. I didn’t find Sister Sly anywhere. I checked every room down here.”
“Same for the tower. There were a few monk mooks up there, but mostly just electric gizmos and wiring. I think she’s been using the bell tower to gather electricity, though, and storing it below. Maybe she’s doing Frankenstein shit or something.”
“Okay, then. If she’s up to something below, we’ll need to stop it and beat her. Let’s get to it.” I headed for the stairs into the church’s undercroft. Some churches were more modern, but by the fourth step down, I knew for sure this one was a classic, and that whoever had built it had spared no expense in making it as authentic as possible. As my feet hit the flagstone floor below ancient arched ceilings, I wondered briefly if the whole church had been imported.
“Careful,” Fursona said. “We’re in a Genius’s lair now.”
“How do you kno—“ A laser wall shimmered into the space in front of me, its grid similar to the grid grenades Sister Sly had used before, and I stopped a few inches from it. Then, a turret popped from the ceiling and filled the hall with fire before sliding toward us!
I leaped back as the flamethrower pushed through a gap in the laser grid and then rolled along the ceiling. My wand came up, and I fired a [Starlance] at it. It exploded, filling the room with even more fire for a few seconds; I could feel the air pulled from my lungs as it ate up every ounce of oxygen and then burned out.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
[HP 8/13]
I gasped for breath as air rushed back into the hall from the stairwell. Then I shivered once and pointed at the now-cleared hall. “Let’s keep it moving, yeah? Don’t want to get trapped in here before we find her.”
“I don’t want to get trapped in here after we find her, either,” Fursona quipped.
I laughed and kept pushing forward, down the hall. As I went, the flagstones under my feet all felt like land mines, but shockingly, none clicked underfoot to reveal a massive killbot or horde of henches. In fact, the whole lair felt quiet.
Too quiet.
I rounded a corner toward a glowing, blue-green light, wand at the ready. This had to be something bad…something dangerous. But as I pressed forward, all I could see was a cavernous room filled with different computers. Lab equipment covered every wall, from robotic arms that’d make pre-corporation Theseus jealous—and post-corporation Theseus laugh at how pathetic it all was—to simple beakers and welding equipment.
And in the center back wall sat a gigantic aquarium. Its round wall loomed over the rest of the room, and a shadow swam back and forth inside. “Is that…?” Fursona asked.
“Yeah. Baby maneater. I can’t believe she still has those things.” I shivered. The last time I’d seen the thick green-gray scales, sharp teeth, and powerful tail of a maneater, I’d been strapped into a chair—no doubt it was still there, behind the pews in the church’s main room. I stopped another shiver with sheer force of will as the small Florida maneater looped around its tank repeatedly, floating serenely on the surface. It’d only be serene until it found prey.
But we weren’t prey right now because we weren’t in the tank, and the glass had to be thick enough to let Sister Sly work in the lab. So, forcing myself to relax, I started looking around.
[End of Act One: Act Two in Three Minutes]
Fursona held up an empty orb; when she tossed it my way, I could see the holes where a laser grid emitter was supposed to be. I dropped it on the floor and wandered across the lab to a collection of arms and a person-shaped indent in the wall. “What does this look like to you?”
As Fursona hopped over, I checked out the sparking conduits, wires hanging from the ceiling, and the open steel restraints. The whole thing looked way bigger than a person should be. When Fursona finally arrived, she took one look. “Didn’t your ex use power armor?”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. He usually worked on workbenches for something this custom, but maybe Sister Sly prefers building while it’s standing? Either way, it’s not here, so we’ve missed our shot at Sister Sly. Let’s get going. Maybe she’s further in, but I doubt it.”
I turned toward the wooden door on the room’s far side, but a yellow light started flashing before I could get there. A moment later, Sister Sly’s voice echoed over a loudspeaker. “Don’t get cold feet, Fursona. Or, actually, maybe do!”
The aquarium’s walls parted, sending a wall of water crashing toward us—along with the Florida maneater!