We left Tearjerker on the floor and followed Iron Fist and Flare. She was out of the fight for now, and whoever the tiny freshman heroine was, she’d need our help more than we needed to pin Tearjerker down. I transformed back to Understudy. If the villains got holed up before we could get there, it’d be entirely up to the professors to get Tractor-Beam-Girl out, and I wanted to do it myself.
My phone was blowing up. As we sprinted up the stairs toward the ballroom, I grabbed it and read some of the messages.
“Okay, Sara’s team is almost here, but we’ve gotta keep Iron Fist and Flare busy. I feel good about Kite Fight for me while you sit on Flare. Sound good?” I asked.
Fursona nodded, and a moment later, we crashed through the ballroom’s double doors. “Shit,” I muttered.
“Indeed,” Fursona said.
The Kite Fight battle plan was not going to cut it. Flare and Iron Fist weren’t alone. Lady Lockless was there, and so, to my surprise, was Gourmet. They had half a dozen hostages already, but most looked like panicky Extras, not supers. They’d be fine. Probably. I doubted we would be, though, not against that many villains. “Really?” I asked.
“Really,” Iron Fist said. “Get them!”
“Let’s do Choke Point,” Fursona said, stepping back into the double doors. “You cover me from range. I’ll keep them off you!”
“Deal! Don’t let Lady L do her thing!” I fired a [Starlance] at the ballgown-clad villain, getting a familiar message as the bolt hit home, knocking her to the side.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
[Double Damage! +1 Badass Point]
Gourmet snapped into a jerky stick, grew horns, and charged Fursona, who countered with a kick even as I fired another [Starlance] at Lady Lockless. Then Flare piled in, a fiery fist slamming into Fursona’s pouch.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
[Double Damage! +1 Badass Point]
The ballroom’s windows blew inward, and I wondered if the school had special Orientation Episode insurance for the Student Union Building. Then Grapple slammed into Iron Fist, who dropped Tractor-Beam-Girl. A moment later, Punch joined him, and I stopped firing at Lady Lockless.
If those two were here, Sara-N-Dipity was, too. I pointed at the villainess. “Your counter’s here. Not your lucky day, huh?”
“God Dammit!” Lady Lockless said. At the same time, Sara-N-Dipity walked up the stairs, copying her rival’s tone and phrasing perfectly.
“God Dammit! It’s not luck! It’s not! I created a 95% chance the boys could get through the window and hit Iron Fist, and you’re calling that luck!” Sara-N-Dipity said, her suit flawless. She tossed a card at Flare, then blew on it so it changed spin mid-air and hit the villain, perfectly predicting his dodge.
It didn’t do much damage, but he sputtered at her. “My combo!”
“Yep. Your combo,” Sara said mockingly.
A moment later, Fursona tackled the fire-themed villain, letting Sara focus on hard-countering Lady Lockless. This left me with…Gourmet.
The villain—and my friend—bit into her jerky stick again, sprouting horns, and charged me. I leaped into the air, letting [Solar Wing] catch me and boost me up to the chandeliers, then fired a [Starlance] down at Gourmet.
[Dramatic Damage! +1 Drama Point]
“Clever, but I’ve got something for that,” Gourmet said. She whipped open a lunchbox and took a bite from a spicy buffalo wing. A moment later, she grew two scaly wings and belched fire.
As she took to the air, I rolled my eyes and muttered, “Really? She gets to turn into a goddamn dragon? How is this fair?” I strafed away from her, and Tractor-Beam-Girl grabbed her leg, trying to slow her down, but it was useless; Dragon Gourmet was too fast, and her fire breath was too accurate. She was going to shoot me down.
But before Dragon-Gourmet could make contact, the professors arrived.
[End of Act One: Act Two in Three Minutes]
“Doctor Mays here for Quanduct Ephemeral Piping Solutions!” The battlefield froze, and he walked toward Flare, holding a cardboard-looking box and reading as fast as possible. “QEPS are great for moving hard-to-contain liquids and gasses from one place to another. This villain right here? He’s got a problem. His fire attacks don’t travel far enough, and the hero he’s fighting keeps dodging. But with a QEPS pipe, he can make that fire appear up to twenty feet away through the air. And that’s not all…”
I relaxed, watching Doctor Jackson stroll through the battle. She grabbed Tractor-Beam-Girl, and the shimmering bubble around the meta-powered professor expanded to cover the white-armored freshman. They argued, and while I couldn’t hear their words, I knew exactly what Tractor-Beam-Girl was saying. After all, I’d had the same conversation during my first Orientation Episode.
If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
But something was different. Last time, we hadn’t hit an Act Break mid-combat, and Tractor-Beam-Girl wouldn’t stop arguing and let the professors take her. Doctor Mays had been talking for almost three minutes, and he couldn’t keep it up forever—could he?
No, he looked more panicked and less sure of himself. Doctor Jackson had already frozen and unfrozen Tractor-Beam-Girl a few times. They couldn’t stick around. They had to leave soon.
I tried to look around because even with the delay, there shouldn’t have been an Act Break right here. And then I saw the real reason why. A blue, curvy shadow was caught mid-leap, flying straight for Iron Fist.
As soon as the professors evacuated Tractor-Beam-Girl for registration, this fight was changing—a lot.
----------------------------------------
[The Annual Orientation Episode: Act Two in Progress]
When Tractor-Beam-Girl finally realized—at least I assumed—that her hero complex didn’t mean anything, and Tennyson teleported the four professors away mid-Mays speech, all hell broke loose.
Literally.
Dragon-Gourmet’s flames whipped around me, scorching my costume and wings, and I started spiraling toward the ground. Fursona [Double-Kicked] Flare in the face, knocking him out. Tearjerker burst through the door behind Fursona and yelled, “[Cry For Me]! Remember your goldfish? It’s not at a farm!”
[HP 6/11]
And, of course, Punch and Grapple carried on trading punches and grappling with Iron Fist. Only now, they had a friend, because Springlock hit the villain in the stomach like a freight train.
A moment later, I crash-landed, magical wings disappearing, and slid across the polished ballroom floor. I started to pick myself up, only for Gourmet to land with her whole weight on top of me, driving the air from my lungs.
[HP 4/11]
If it weren’t for superhero damage, something would have broken. She glared at me. “Don’t move, Snack.”
I nodded, but I was already calculating my next move.
Iron Fist shook off his three attackers with a roar, grabbed one of the Extras, and leaped through the broken window. “If you follow, he gets the iron fist!” He shouted, then fled down the road.
That was my cue. I used [Quick-Time Change], doing the Itsy Bitsy Spider dance as best I could and getting a moment of [I-Frame Transform] immunity that ate most of Gourmet’s dragon’s breath. Then, as Magical Girl Rainy Day, I inhaled and used [Wind Front]. I’d learned the move as part of my minor league signing bonus skills.
[Flashy Fitting-Room! +1 Flamboyance Point]
[Steel Yourself! +1 Grit Point]
[Badass Move! +1 Badass Point]
The wind slammed into Gourmet’s outstretched dragon wings, lifting her off me and tossing her into the air. I thought about using [Ride the Lightning], but truthfully, we had a numbers advantage. Even with Fursona locked down, Milo and possibly Hephaestus had to be on their way. It was time to leverage action economy and end this fight.
I [Quick-Time Changed] again, this time to Lab Assistant Panic.
“THE LAB ASSISTANT’S BACK, SHE’S UP IN THIS HOOD!
BUT WILL SHE BE EVIL, NEUTRAL, OR GOOD?”
[Rejuvenation Activated! HP 8/11]
[Flashy Fitting Room! +1 Flamboyance Point]
TA-1LZ appeared on the floor, [TA-1LZ New Headcannon] already opening fire on the still-recovering Gourmet. Tasers bounced off her wings and caught her in the stomach, then stopped as the Melee Brothers jumped her, pinned her to the ground, and punched her in the face.
[Badass Bot! +1 Badass Point]
“Alright, alright, enough!” Lady Lockless shouted. “We know when we’re beaten! We surrender!”
“Coward!” Tearjerker said. Her makeup had smeared, her face looked like hell, and my scratch had destroyed her bright green fishnets. “I’m not done yet!”
She headed for the stairs and fled. No one followed her. The rest of the villains slowly help up their hands. I didn’t blame them. The SSS didn't stand a chance against seven heroes, including five minor leaguers. I walked over to Gourmet and held out a hand to help her up.
“Thanks, I guess. What was that?” She asked, wincing and letting me take her weight.
“[Wind Front]. Pretty cool, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess. I think you’re close to beating me one-on-one.”
“We’ll have to try that later. Training room sometime this week?”
“You’re on,” Gourmet grinned. I smiled back. Gourmet had never struck me as one of the really bad villains. She mostly just wanted to hang out on her cooking show, but the Orientation Episode was an all-hands-on-deck event for both TUSSA and the SSS. It sucked for the SSS right now, because they looked to be pretty out-gunned.
Sara-N-Dipity walked over to Lady Lockless, kicked her cane away so she couldn’t trap anyone, and then turned on Springlock. Her fingers flew faster than I could translate, and both women looked furious. A big, red hand settled onto my shoulder as they signed at each other. I turned to see Milo shaking his head slowly. “I’m not getting involved in that mess,” he said softly.
“No? Springlock’s your girlfriend,” I said.
He nodded. “And you’ve gotta know when getting involved will help and when it won’t. Speaking of which, Fursona’s about to snap out of Tearjerker’s power. You should be there for them.”
I nodded and turned. The kangaroo superhero sobbed quietly into her voice modulator. I walked toward her, then turned. “Milo, what are they fighting about?”
Milo’s red face soured. “Politics.”
“Ah.” Yeah, no. I did not want any of that. I returned to the door, put an arm around Fursona, and waited while the kangaroo fursuit shivered and shook.
When it finally stopped, I wrapped my arms tighter. “It’s okay, Fursona. I’ve got you. I bet you never even had a goldfish, huh?”
“N-no! I did! His name was Amarillo, and he was the best goldfish ever. I’m gonna make her pay!” She tried to get to her feet, and I pushed her back down.
“She’s gone. We’re stuck here for a minute while the campus police show up to deal with the SSS, but it’s just her, Iron Fist, and whoever they didn’t have here. I don’t think it’ll take long once we get moving. All of TUSSA’s here.”
“Yeah. This should have been a real ultimate showdown, huh?” Fursona said, trying to lighten up.
“Yep. We were so close to getting the win right here.”
I looked up. Sara and Springlock continued to throw signs at each other, each woman glaring daggers as they went. Milo, apparently, had decided to do something, because now he, too, was signing, though from his body language, his goal was to get the other two to stop. “He’s playing with fire,” I muttered.
“What are they so pissed about? Aren’t we winning?” Fursona asked.
“Politics.”
“That’ll do it,” Fursona said.
Milo got between the two furious superheroines, and as things calmed down, I helped Fursona up. I didn’t necessarily want to get involved in their drama, but if it was over, we needed a new plan to take the fight to Iron Fist.
[Tense Moment! +1 Drama Point]
I blinked. It was rare that I got points without using my powers, so whatever Milo had headed off, it must’ve been about to get nasty. The red, Greek-themed wrestler beckoned everyone over. Springlock and Sara-N-Dipity stood about ten feet to either side of him, each refusing to look at the other. Once TUSSA had assembled, he cleared his throat. “We were hoping to save this announcement until after the Orientation Episode, but it’s gotta get out in the open so everyone knows what’s going on.” His hands flew as he talked, signing along for Springlock’s benefit.
“Members of TUSSA, I formally present Springlock and Sara-N-Dipity, your club president candidates.”
[End of Act Two: Act Three in Three Minutes]