For half a second, I let myself feel relief. Kid Zoomies was going to be fine.
Then the fear hit, and it hit hard.
We…probably weren’t going to be quite as fine.
This wasn’t Jungle Jim I was looking at, the towering member of the Anti-Naptime League. This was Brick House, a serious business villain who—yes—was retired. But he was more than capable of following through on his threat and flattening me. He’d fought a full-grown Florida Maneater, after all. He could snap unpowered me like a twig. His hand wrapped around Bianca’s well-muscled arm, engulfing it completely.
And I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
I took a deep breath. “Listen, we found her out here—“
“Nuh-uh! I found you and saved you!” Kid Zoomies interrupted. “I stopped the bad guys from doing bad stuff!”
She sounded so proud of herself that even Brick House’s composure broke for a second. Then, the glare returned as quickly as it had disappeared. His grip tightened on my shoulder. “Explain. Now.”
“Okay, listen,” Bee said. She sounded a little fuzzy from getting knocked out, and I didn’t blame her for that at all, but she pulled herself together as best she could. “We know you. I’m…Fursona. And that’s Magical Girl Understudy. If you don’t believe us, you can check our bags—the Costumes and cat are in there. We were on the run and got jumped by some villains, and…yeah, Kid Zoomies saved us.”
Brick House’s eyebrow raised a millimeter. Then he let go of me and grabbed a phone. A few button presses later, he was talking into it. “Got her. She was only two blocks out. Yeah, we got lucky. Don’t need to tell Mrs. N or the parents. Meet me out front, and we’ll sneak her in through the back. I found two other kids, too. No, not ours, but they claim we know ‘em. Three minutes.”
He hung up. “You’re all coming with me.”
I nodded slowly. At least he wasn’t trying to kill us yet. So that was something.
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Brick House’s eyes never left the back of my head the whole walk over, even after he carefully handed Kid Zoomies off to an absolutely terrifying Mister Twister, who slipped into Pranky Jones as he led her away toward the playground gate. I started following him, but the massive hand landed on my shoulder again. “No. Not yet.”
Then he opened my bag and, for the second time in less than a half hour, someone rooted through my stuff and Bianca’s. When he was finally satisfied, he nodded. “Okay. You have the stuff. Inside, bathrooms, and get changed.”
“You’re not very trusting, are you?” Bianca asked.
“No. Not when Mrs. N calls us saying a kid’s gone missing and another one vanishes when he gets her back. When you’ve proved you are who you say, then I’ll trust you.”
He paraded us through the front door and past a few other members of the Anti-Nap League—Felicia Fire’s red hair was missing from the group—and we hurried into the cramped bathroom. It took a few minutes to get the Roo-Sona suit on and transform into Magical Girl Understudy, but when we appeared, Brick House finally relaxed, and I could see him slipping into the Jungle Jim persona. I nodded. “Good enough for you?”
“Yeah, good enough for me. You can help Honey and her boy out with the kids while you wait for Mrs. N. She’ll be glad to see you, but she’s also got parents to manage.”
We stepped into the playroom.
“Holy crap,” Fursona said through her headset. I nodded in agreement. Tottergarten was a zoo.
Mrs. N must have invited the Playpen Patrol’s parents to stay here after Kaiju Kid’s disappearance, because the adults not in costume outnumbered the supers. A harried-looking couple held a kid leash as they stared at their five-year-old hovering near the ceiling, while a single woman desperately tried to corral Kaiju Kid, who was carrying a carrot stick and a carton of milk while roaring at the top of her little lungs.
I tried to be subtle and figure out where the best place for me would be, but before I could maneuver my way toward Honeycomb to ask, Milkbar slammed into Fursona’s chest. “It’s the mouse! The mouse is back!”
“Still not a mouse,” Fursona said. The smile in her voice carried even through her voice modulator as she sat down on the floor, giving in to the super-strong Playpen Patroler’s hug. “I’m a kangaroo, remember? It’s a marsupial.”
“Yeah!” Outlet said. “And you said they all live in Australia, right?”
“I…did say that,” Fursona admitted. “But sometimes, even adults are wrong. Most of them live in Australia, but some live here.”
“Like you?” the electricity-powered super-toddler asked.
“Yeah, like me. And like opossums.”
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I tried to sneak away from the conversation and find Honeycomb. The last thing I wanted to do was get involved in Tottergarten stuff. Getting home was more important. But as I crossed the play place, looking for the bee girl, something hit me from above.
“Understuffy! I love you!” The Cloud said.
“Hi, The Cloud,” I answered, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the floor. “What are you learning today?”
“Nothing. Today’s a play day! And a sleepover. Mom and Dad get to be here all day and all night!” The Cloud seemed super-excited about that; he started dragging me toward his parents. “Mom! Dad! This is Understuffy, and I love her!”
“Hi, Miss Understudy,” The Cloud’s mom said. She stuck out a hand, and I shook it, trying my best to channel my Extra Relations persona even though I was exhausted. “We met briefly, sort of. He gave you a part of his costume.”
“Yeah, he did,” I smiled, remembering how frustrating that day had been. Compared to today, it seemed like a walk in the park.
Fursona was getting swarmed under by pre-schoolers, but more concerning was the single mom with Kaiju Kid tucked under her arm. She hovered nearby, clearly unsure what to do, as Kaiju Kid roared shrilly at Fursona and raised her arms over her head. Did Kaiju Kid recognize her? And would her mom be pissed at Fursona for the fight? Before I could answer any of those questions, The Cloud took off, his hand slipping from mine. I lunged after him, then looked at his parents apologetically. “Whoops!”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. He’s learned how to control it a lot better, but we still keep him on the leash outdoors. Mrs. N does excellent work here,” his dad said. He waited as his kid reached the top of the play place and lowered himself onto the slide. “We’re also thrilled she’s taking security seriously, even if seeing the ‘villains’ Kenny’s been fighting in their real personas is…kind of a lot.”
He glanced nervously at Jungle Jim, who was currently arm-wrestling Milkbar. They were both putting their all into it. So far, it was a tie.
“Yeah, I understand that. We just ran into him out of our costumes, and it was…an experience.” I shivered, letting myself feel something for the first time since the Vs had started tailing us. “Actually, I have a question for you. How do you deal with being a superhero’s parent and not having powers yourself?”
The Cloud’s dad cleared his throat, but his wife interrupted. “That’s not really what you want to ask, is it, Miss DuPont?”
I flushed red; she was right. “No, it’s not, but I’m not sure how to ask.”
“Rip off the bandaid,” she suggested. “You and your kangaroo friend saved one of Kenny’s classmates, so you’re entitled to a dumb question or two.”
“Okay. You don’t seem to care about The Cloud’s secret identity; you just told me he was Kenny twice. But aren’t you worried that makes it easier for people to figure out who you are? And who he is? Won’t that cause problems later when he’s a real superhero?”
She laughed. “My kid is a literal balloon. Sometimes, he even jumps out the car window and rides behind on his leash. Any supervillain who wants to mess with him knows exactly where to find us, so there’s never been much point in the secret identity. Maybe when he’s older, he’ll pick a new one. But just because they know who he is doesn’t mean we should panic and run away to a new city. Mrs. N’s the best at what she does, and Kenny’s only villains are these guys.”
“Yeah, his future’s worth the risk,” Mr. The Cloud added.
“Thanks,” I said, disengaging slowly as one of the kids screamed in Fursona’s ear. I joined her on the floor, eying the nervous-looking mom. “I’ll handle these kids for a little while if you want to talk to her.”
“Not really,” Bee’s voice came over the headset. “I’m terrified. I had to beat the crap out of her daughter earlier today. What if she’s pissed?”
“What if she’s not?” I whispered. “What if she’s happy you got her daughter back? The kid looks fine—I bet you didn’t even hurt her.”
“Dammit, Annie,” Bee said under her breath. Then she stood up, prying Kid Zoomies off her. “Okay, kids, I have to go talk to an adult, but Miss Understudy’s going to tell you all about, uh, plays and stuff.”
“Gee, thanks,” I said. Then, I sat down to have a highly-improvised conversation.
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“…and so when you’re watching movies, everyone in them is pretending,” I finished, feeling less and less confident by the second. “None of it’s real; they’re all acting. It’s the same thing as a play.”
“Really?” Outlet asked. “Are you sure? My brother always says it’s all real, and he knows everything.”
“Yes, really really. They all have to play pretend when the movie’s getting made, but then they go home, and they’re just regular people.” Nothing would make me happier than for Mrs. N to interrupt; this whole conversation had gotten out of control—and it had only gotten worse when Kaiju Kid tried to eat my hand midway through.
But at least her mom and Fursona hadn’t come to blows yet. In fact, their conversation seemed to be going better than mine was.
“So, they’re all lying?” Milkbar’s brow furrowed in a glare. “Mrs. N says we’re not supposed to lie!”
“No, they’re not lying. They’re pretending.” I sighed. “Look, I’m a superhero, right?”
“Yeah, you’re Understuffy!”
“Understuffy’s the best!”
The wave of pre-school compliments washed over me, and I took a deep breath. I didn’t feel like the best. “Well, I’m not a superhero all the time. Most of the time, I’m a regular person.”
The group of kids was quiet, scratching their heads and staring at the ceiling. Then Milkbar shouted,” Oh! Like how I’m really James!”
And then, all at once, the kids were screaming their real names at me as parents face-palmed in the background. Honeycomb came over with a tray of juice boxes—including one set far away from the others with the words ‘sugar-free’ emblazoned across it—and slowly focused their attention on her. Then, as she passed them out, she leaned over to me. “The Narrator would like to see you and Fursona. She says it’s important. ‘World-shaking news’—her words, not mine.”
I groaned, a mixture of relief and exhaustion filling me up as I pushed off the floor. Fursona and Kaiju Kid’s mom were…hugging? Yeah, that was an embrace, not a struggle, so that conversation must have ended alright.
Eventually, they finished, and I headed down the hall toward Mrs. N’s office.
The door hung open, and The Narrator said, “Come in,” when we were still halfway down the hall. She looked absolutely drained; a half-dozen coffee cups sat on her table, and her computer flicked between different angles of the building’s security cameras. The bags under her eyes hung almost to her lips—had she slept in days? Or was this all stress from Kaiju Kid going missing?
“Hi, Mrs. N,” I said.
Her eyes met mine, deep brown pools that betrayed an even deeper pain. “Miss DuPont. Miss Marino. Thank you for stopping Maggie from hurting people. I never would have thought that The Agent would resort to kidnapping. I’m also sorry for abandoning you in today’s moment of need.”
Then she shook herself. “By way of apology and thanks, I want to help you find a path to victory.”