Chapter Thirty-Six

“Here you go, Kayobi.” Suki said with delight on her face as she handed me a few bowls of rice and some cooked fish, “I put a few extra pieces there for your niece, you look after that poor girl, alright? She’s been through so much.” Suki blinked with ferocious rapidity for a moment, “So sad, children shouldn’t ever get caught up in the problems of adults, not even when those children are all grown up… so you take care of you too, alright?” She asked, and then put her arms around me and gave me a gentle hug.

“You are a gem, Suki.” I said with a smile and gave her a peck on her cheek.

I then went back to my apartment and left her doorway behind, the fish smelled marvelous, and the sealed bowls were still warm in my hand. It wasn’t the usual junk food, but I figured a little change would be for the best.

I still had no idea what Suki thought was going on, but whatever she thought, it kept her from asking too many questions, and that was a net positive as far as I was concerned.

I got back to my apartment, closed the door behind me, and set the food on the table. I started reading over the medical information on being ‘stuck’ and as some background noise I turned on the television and after some browsing, I settled on a story about a middle school boy who hunted spirits and solved the crimes they committed in the living world. I got a few episodes in, and a good hundred pages or so, when I heard a horrendous shriek from my bedroom.

“Celia?!” I shouted and raced to my bedroom, I flung the door open to find her in a cold sweat and sitting up, her face was damp with sweat and her eyes wide with horror.

“Are you alright?! What’s wrong?!” I shouted, for the life of me I couldn’t think what it might be. We’re swappers. There shouldn’t be anyone on this world with the power to hurt us. She was panting, breathing so hard it was like an untrained human tried to run a marathon.

“Oh no! Oh no!” She clung to her head, digging her hands into her scalp. “I messed up! I really messed up! Now everyone will know! I’ll never hear the end of it! I’m late! I’ll have to show my face! They’ll figure out I’m stuck like this! I can’t paint! I’ll be disgraced and nobody will ever trust me with a job again! I’ll have to quit and do something else! Everybody will know…”

“Oh.” I sighed deeply with relief and relaxed my grip on the doorknob.

“No they won’t.” I said, and she glared at me.

“Of course they will. What are you going to do, do the whole job for me? Or just impersonate me?” She asked with a derisive snort.

“No.” I answered and stood up straight. “I already did that.” I said.

“Of course you-” Celia stopped. “Wait, what?” She asked.

“I already did that.” I repeated, and then I stopped, “Can I sit down… I’ll tell you everything.”

She inched away so that she was against the far rear corner of my bed, right up against the wall, and I approached, then sat on the edge of the bed.

I explained everything to her. The kills, the method, and that she could find a copy of the report in her logs, and the additional vacation time.

Celia tearfully snorted, then wiped her eyes and nose with the back of her hand. “So… I’m stuck owing you forever now, like I didn’t already owe you enough.”

“How do you mean?” I asked and cocked my head at her.

“You’ve already helped me with a bunch of jobs… but now you’ve gone and painted a whole room for me… I’m sure I’ll hear all about how you had to do all this for me when I get back eventually…” She bit her lower lip, and I shook my head again.

“No you won’t.” I answered. “I already told you, I did all that already, that includes impersonating you to do the job. As far as the Agency is concerned, Celia Norn took care of the whole thing, Kayobi never left her vacation.”

“But… that’s hugely against the rules.” She said, her little mouth was open ever so slightly, like she forgot to close it. “You could really get in trouble for that. What if I report you to clear out all my debts with you and get you fired?”

“What debts?” I asked.

“You know, from the stuff you helped me on before.” She asked.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

“Oh, I never bothered to report it. There’s no record to strike. If you did,” I shrugged, “that’s up to you, but I didn’t bother. Too much hassle, and they weren’t my jobs anyway.” I replied, and she blinked harder, longer, faster.

“You didn’t?” She asked.

“Nope.” I replied. “I was just doing a favor for a friend, that’s all.” I said, and reached out to pat her leg gently. “Check for yourself if you don’t believe me.” I said.

“But… that means… and if you did this too then…” She shook her head as if a spider were in her hair and she had to shake it loose, her dark hair bounced around in every direction until she physically grabbed it as if that was the only way to stop it.

“If that’s true, you don’t have any leverage over me at all… other than me being stuck like this… and that’s nothing compared to me having leverage over you for impersonating a fellow agent.” She bit her lower lip and looked down at the thick blanket as she began to, I think, ponder how she’d ended up in my bed and what must have happened afterward.

“This doesn’t make any sense.” She mumbled, “With enough leverage, you could angle for promotion, you could get to the top, why…?”

“Because I don’t want to be at the top, I just want to be happy, wherever I am. I don’t care about leverage or status, if you want it,” I held out my hand with my palm upturned as if offering an invisible object out to her to take it, “it’s yours.”

“Then if you didn’t… I mean, if not for that, why do all this? Why hide my secret, why give me leverage, why do my job and cover for me and help me on all those other ones…?” Celia asked.

“Because I want to be your friend. You’re nice, you’re sweet, you’re a lot of fun in your own way. You like my shows, you’re fun to spend time with. I don’t want power over you, Celia, I just want us to be, as if I haven’t said it a thousand times, friends. Friends help friends when they need it. Friends keep confidence with each other. Now come on, I got breakfast for us. You can settle down with me and have a bite to eat and that’ll be plenty.”

Celia Norn was profoundly quiet as she slipped out of bed, eyeing me like I was some sort of strange alien for some time while we ate the orangish colored cooked fish strips and bits of rice and colorful vegetable sauce that went with it.

The flavors were very good, salty and sweet, maybe ‘tart’ is a better description, and the show was insanely fun for me. I tried to ignore Celia’s side eyeing me the whole time, or the way she kept shifting around back and forth on the couch.

“There’s nothin wrong with guys need’n each other!” The line was shouted by the orange haired delinquent, and she reached for the remote, then paused the show.

“Why aren’t you worried? I’ve been terrified this whole time… so… why aren’t you?” Celia’s eyes were narrow and her hands wrung together, “Why don’t you seem concerned that I could ruin your whole career, you’ve been doing this for centuries, don’t you have a lot to lose?”

I smiled a little, put my hand on my chest and proudly pronounced, “I’m Kayobi Taida, NEET extraordinaire, I proudly worry only about the ratio of diddlies to squats, and not one thing more!” I laughed and shook my head, “Look, Celia, I see you’re struggling with this, but… it really is just all that I’ve said. If you’re my friend, having leverage on me means nothing, same as me having it over you. I don’t need it. I just have to count on the fact that you wouldn’t do anything to damage my life, because that’s not what a friend would do.” I said, and then took up my device and handed it to her.

“If you really want to ruin me so you can get a promotion, go ahead and report me now. Otherwise,” I said as she accepted my device, and pointed to the t.v. “unpause it and let’s watch the series, this one is long. But the story is great.”

She looked down at my device, and I suppose she saw what I was reading on there about her ‘situation’ and she set the device down on the table. She was muted, no, ‘subdued’ I would say, and set it down so delicately that it barely made a noise on the wooden surface.

The show unpaused, and we watched in mutual quiet for a very long time, at least a dozen or two episodes, and then she said, “So… you’re the Urameshi to my Kuwabara?” Celia asked.

“Yes.” I replied. “I don’t want power over my friends. I want the pleasure of being with my friends. So… do you want to go ahead and report me?” I asked.

Celia scooted closer to me. “Report you for what?” She asked, and a smile broke out over her face.

“I have no idea.” I said with a shrug.

“You know, that document there, it says high stress can lock somebody into their form…” She said.

“That so?” I asked with a little smile.

“Ahhhhh!” Celia said, stretched out, and put her feet up on the table next to mine. They were now aligned with mine, the young girl was gone, and the young woman was expanding in her place. “Now that… that feels great. I’ve never felt this relaxed.” She said with a teary eyed smile on her face that expanded as far as a human mouth could go.

“Good. Shall I unpause?” I asked.

“Please do.” She said, “And… th-thank you. Thank you a lot.” She added hastily and put herself right up against my side.

“What are friends for?” I asked, hit the unpause button, and proclaimed, “Let the binge watching begin!”

And the day only got better from there.