I kicked a wrapper off of my coffee table and summoned the entire carton of chocolate milk out of my fridge, then put my feet up and flicked the t.v. on to search for something to watch.

But what? ‘I’m in the mood for some fangy bitey girls.’ I thought, and a little while later I was watching generic useless boy gets a harem by being nice and wholesome but really has eyes only for the vampire girl who keeps biting him because she likes his blood… yeah, yeah, there’s a title, but who cares what it is? I just wanted shenanigans, and shenanigans I got.

Jin, in my view, is a good boy, like a little brother who takes himself far too seriously. Ever since I moved in, he’s sort of been that way, happy to do stuff, happy to work hard, grateful for the opportunity to work for someone else…

Kind of a sucker, really.

But a good boy, and now that I knew he had some problems…? I yawned and stretched out my limbs while the protagonist got thrown around like a rag doll, “I’ll keep a closer eye on things.” I muttered and then laughed as I recalled the stunned bunny look of the brat that smacked him around.

I sort of doubted the secret would stay confined to the three of them. People gossip, like… a lot. They say that two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, but from what I have seen of people?

They both have to be dead and the ashes scattered in the sea because even dead men do tell tales if you’ve got a body to examine. And there were three of those idiots. One of them would say something sooner or later, no matter how ashamed they were of losing. Before long? I smiled a little as I watched the protagonist get rescued by his vampire vixen, ‘He’ll have a reputation as a badass without any work whatsoever, and even have a helpful bodyguard out of it?’

I wondered about that, but it wasn’t any of my business. The way I saw it, Jin got a pretty good deal out of some grocery shopping and a little cleanup work.

I chugged from the jug, gulping my milk down… a little clumsily, I lost some on the sides of my mouth, and I cleaned up by wiping the stuff away with my sleeves.

Jin returned about three hours later with a bunch of clean clothes in a big green trash bag over his shoulder, and a pair of big reusable grocery bags in the other, both bags were filled with the snacks I so desperately craved.

I salivated over them, hungry… wanting. Like fangy bitey vampire girl, whatever her name was, hungered for the blood of generic male protagonist, I in turn hungered for the taste of sweets!

My feet stamped on the floor as I moved to stand up and reach for the bags.

“Ooooh no.” Jin said with a boyish grin on his face, “I did all that, but before you start eating it all… did you eat anything this morning that wasn’t a snack?”

My stomach growled.

“Did you eat anything at all?” He asked and raised a dubious eyebrow at me.

“Not exactly… I drank milk.” I said and pointed to the now empty jug that I’d let fall onto the floor when I stood up. Good thing it was empty, otherwise… what a waste.

“Chocolate, too.” He half walked, half waddled with all that stuff toward my kitchen area. “Just… sit there and do nothing.”

I wasn’t about to complain about that.

I flopped myself down on the couch while he disappeared into my bedroom after depositing the groceries on the table.

“What ever did I do to deserve such an inept big sister?” He sighed melodramatically as he mocked my NEET lifestyle and put away my laundry.

“Hey, I solved your problem today, you could at least not refer to me as inept.” I huffed and crossed my arms in front of my chest. I knew he didn’t mean it, and I didn’t either, but even so…

Stolen novel; please report.

“Yeah… thank you, but I have to ask… how exactly? What did you do?” He asked, raising his voice a little since he was out of view.

“What does it matter? Yesterday you had a problem. Today I did ‘a thing’ and now you won’t have that problem anymore. Don’t overthink it.” I said, briefly pausing my show, I shouted, “And don’t go rifling through my underwear either, hentai!” I shouted.

“I’ll blindfold myself when I get to that drawer!” He promised.

“How will you know what drawer it is?! Wait, do you already know?! Are you peeping on me, hentai?!” I shouted again.

“No and… I assume you’ll tell me!” Jin shouted back.

“Oh, there isn’t one, just throw things wherever!” I explained, and heard him groan at my answer.

“You’re impossible!” he declared.

“And you’re possible.” I declared in return. It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t have to. There is no obligation to make sense when you’re with your friends.

“Uh huh, listen, you just wait there.” He said, then after a hesitant moment added, “Wait… yeah, like I need to tell you to not trouble yourself with doing stuff.”

I stuck my nose in the air and huffed while he came out of my bedroom a few minutes later and began to deal with the groceries. “You know, I just cleaned up over there, how is it you manage to get things so damn messy so quickly?” He asked while he put various things away out of the bags, storing ice cream in the freezer and chocolate milk on the upper shelves, frozen premade meals stacked neatly in the bottom and various jellos and other things in the fridge…

I shrugged. “Stuff happens?” I said as if I had no idea how I caused such debris to just ‘pile up’.

It was even sort of true. After all, do I seem like the sort of girl to keep track of shit I don’t care about? I hope not.

No sooner than I’d answered than he was fiddling around with my microwave. “What’ya doing?” I asked, watching him out of the corner of my eye.

“Getting you something to eat other than snacks. I swear, how did you ever become an adult?” He asked.

“Did nobody ever explain to you how time works, Jin?” I asked, as if that was an answer to his question, I knew what he meant, of course, but he also knew when I was teasing.

He blew air out of his nose and dragged his right hand slowly down the length of his face. As far as he knew, I was a high school graduate and college dropout who moved to the town of Sakura and just… enjoyed being the do-nothing neighbor.

I cracked a little knowing smile. There were a lot of rumors about me, of course. I had fun with that one. Some said I was in witness protection from the Yakuza, and that’s why I don’t work. Some said I actually am Yakuza, or at least part of a Yakuza family. That one’s crazy because I don’t look at all Japanese.

Some say I’m an American or European rich girl just hiding out from life, or that I have a Japanese ancestor and I’m here getting in touch with my roots and that’s why I have a Japanese name or… it goes on, some are wild, some are rational, none of them are close to the truth. And as to what I say? I haven’t told anyone anything concrete, of course. The less lies you tell, the less you have to remember.

I could see the curiosity in his eyes though, when Jin looked over at me while he prepared something to eat. Humans… they love their mysteries. A single mystery is worth ten thousand truths, at least to them.

Nobody knew how I paid for anything, but the truth was both the same as them and… very different.

I got paid per job, and I got paid well. Since Earth isn’t part of the interstellar community though, I would buy gold. Gold is really common in the Universe, so common it’s useless as currency, and it doesn’t have much use beyond decoration or some technological hijinks. So it’s dirt cheap, then, I go back to Earth on my vacation, sell bars of it for cash, then put the cash onto prepaid debit cards. It’s a little bit roundabout, but I can’t exactly file taxes here.

Jin approached and handed me my card, then set the dish down in front of me. “I hope you don’t mind, but I got a few extra things that weren’t on the list, some spices, things to make your food taste better. I’ll pay you back if that wasn’t okay.” He said, and then handed me a plastic fork.

“Nope, it’s fine!” I said and set the card on the table before chowing down and shoveling the pot pie stuff with… whatever was concentrated deliciousness that he added to it, into my mouth. “Thank you!” I said and beamed up at him as I ate.

He snorted and shook his head. I earned a lot of snorts, and I cherished every one of them.

“See you later, Kayobi.” He said with a smile that took up most of his face.

“See you later, Jin. Tell me how it goes at school tomorrow, alright?” I asked, and out of the corner of my eye I saw him nod as he walked past and I unpaused my show.

“Will do.” He said as the door closed behind him.

But he didn’t.