Getting up early is just… it’s not my favorite thing unless there’s a marathon series I want to stream, which is not that common. But in order to remain a NEET I had to put in a little work.

The thing about being a Painter is that when you’re really good at what you do, not only is it not work, it’s not… oh forget it. Look, the point is that you wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get to these tin pot twits on backwater worlds when you’ve got a gift for doing it. Celia wasn’t the first one to want my help. I’m actually one of the best in the agency when it comes to my job.

So good that I don’t ever have to get out of bed early to do it, if you catch my meaning.

This, though? This was a new experience. I got up bright and early, ten minutes before it was time to open, hopped into an icy cold shower, then grabbed my breakfast… a bag of puffy cheese chip things with some generic brand name on it and after throwing on my clothes, I headed out.

I got there exactly one minute before opening, it was a nice little place, glass double doors with a metal fencing thingamajig across the front. The lights within came on as the motion detector worked.

I reached for my pocket and realized… ’Right… the key. I s’pose I need that…’ I thought and rolled my eyes at myself, I gave a quick look around. The street was empty for the moment, but that wouldn’t last. [teleport t’ropelet Kayobi Taida evif spets drawrof] and then I was in. “Next time, I’ll remember the key.” I promised, then turned around and flipped the latch securing the cage thingy and lifted it up, then undid then turned the lock for the double doors with a click and went behind the register.

It was kind of an old model. Like the sort I saw on old anime t.v. shows. ‘I guess she wasn’t kidding about barely getting by… but this place is an institution… she should be doing better, right?’ I thought.

Most people in this area shopped here because it had everything you needed for basic apartment life. Small packages of dish soap, individually wrapped things of laundry detergent for when you couldn’t afford a full box. School supplies for the kids and even emergency sewing kits for adults on the go who realized they needed to patch something at a moment’s notice.

The floor was clean, and so were the little meal stations surrounded by melon corn chips, fresh bento boxes, and a fridge full of various forms of tea, among other things. The well lit store was so neat and well organized that one could find virtually anything necessary within moments.

I heard the entry bell ding as the doors slid open, “Hi, welcome to Toriyama’s.” I didn’t know if she had a specialized greeting or something, but I figured the shop name would do.

I wore a bright, cheery smile on my face and even went so far as to wave at the customers… but my brow furrowed almost immediately.

They were well dressed men, far too well dressed for this neighborhood, and they wore shaded glasses despite the fact that it was broad daylight. Their black suits had a marvelous sheen to them and the way they looked around with such… sneering disdain, you know the look. When the head tilts back and they’re looking down their noses at everything, like they can’t believe anybody lives like… well… however.

“See. I told you they’d be open.” The larger of the pair said and approached, while his companion only grunted in acknowledgment and approached the register.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

“You’re not Suki.” The leader of the pair said as he looked down at me, they were considerably larger than I, and I searched for a reference to try to pick them out…

“No. I’m Kayobi Taida. Can I help you find something?” I tilted my head and smiled broadly, “There’s a special on bento boxes today… just like every day for the last five years. And they are delicious.”

“Where’s Suki?” The same behemoth asked, he had a gruff sort of voice, it was ‘meant’ to be threatening. “She has a payment for us.”

“She’s in poor health right now, so I’m filling in. Now, can I help you with something, if not, and if you’re not buying, then I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave.” I answered him, and he held out one hand with his palm upturned.

“She has a payment for us, check the register.” He curled his fingers inward in that ‘gimmie gimmie’ gesture.

“I didn’t know the bank came by to collect payments.” I replied. I had cut her off before she could explain something the other day… then I’d put her to sleep… ‘This must be what she was talking about.’

“We ain’t no bank.” He answered, “You got something there that belongs to us.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll have to ask you to leave.” I answered him firmly, “If you don’t, I’ll have to call the police.”

He grunted and glanced toward his companion, “For what?” He asked, “We’re just shopping.”

I kept my hand behind my back so they’d miss the flashes of light.

“Public indecency, I realize I’m a foreigner, and I probably don’t have all the nuances of Japanese culture down, but I’m pretty sure you’re not allowed to go shopping in public without any pants or underwear on.” I rose up on my tiptoes and looked down.

The confusion I caught on their faces was followed by mimicking my downward look, and the two stepped back immediately in utter shock.

“Wghuah?! My- How- what…?!” The mix of words came not from one, but both at once.

“I don’t know if she’s doing laundry for you or what, I’ll have to ask her when I see her. But if you come here again without being properly dressed I won’t wait to call the police.” I snapped and pointed toward the door.

I smirked a little as I watched them scramble away, knocking over a display stand of gummy snacks that clanged to the floor and scattered all over the place, the packages sliding in every direction while the pair of thugs rushed for the exit in confusion and shame, trying to cover both front and back at once as they rushed for whatever car they drove this way.

One thing I will say for this particular world and this particular country in it, they have a very well defined sense of modesty. I snorted, then started to laugh as I watched a car speed past. “I’ll have to ask Jin… no… Suki. I’ll have to ask Suki about that, later.” I said to myself and made a mental note.

Then I had to wonder… ‘No… maybe I should ask Jin, I wonder… could that have anything to do with his ‘incident’ with the three idiots?’

I’d probably have to talk to him afterward, but in the meantime? I opened the register and found, true to their word, a white envelope. I opened the back and looked inside… money. Cash. Lots of it.

I furrowed my brow. ‘Yakuza?’ I thought, some kind of a loan shark thing, maybe? Or… protection?

‘No… no I won’t be asking Suki… I have a better idea.’ As I thought, a wonderful, vicious, wicked idea came to mind.

Their pants appeared in my hand and I’d dropped them promptly to the floor at my feet, meaning in all probability, I had their wallets. Which meant I’d have their names, addresses, and everything I’d need to…

Have a little fun, after my workday is done.